so, so sad.
all i've ever done was try to be a good friend, to everyone.
i may not be the most fun and exciting person but i never thought i was a bad friend. i always tried to take others into consideration.
why is it that no matter how long i've tried to maintain these friendships, i've been nothing more than "just" a friend? no one really cares.
it figures. i knew this was going to happen yet still when it did, it didn't hurt any less. i tried to have it so everyone could be included, that's what i would've wanted. it seems like no one else felt that way, they only cared about themselves and the ones they were closer to. sure, everyone has their preferences but what about others abilities? i guess it doesn't matter so long as you get what you want. if someone isn't that important to you why should you care, right? i've been stupid. i knew all this but still chose to deny it. now there's no denying it.
i've felt so alone for so long now. it's funny, i see other people who seem to care more for me than people who i've known for longer and have always considered to be my best friends, yet i still cling to the idea that one day i'll fit in, that they'll feel the same way about me. i guess i've been pretty delusional this entire time.
i feel like a junkie. it's no good for me but i don't know how to detach myself from it all, though i know it's the only way to really stop the pain i've been enduring for so many years now.
i may not be the most fun and exciting person but i never thought i was a bad friend. i always tried to take others into consideration.
why is it that no matter how long i've tried to maintain these friendships, i've been nothing more than "just" a friend? no one really cares.
it figures. i knew this was going to happen yet still when it did, it didn't hurt any less. i tried to have it so everyone could be included, that's what i would've wanted. it seems like no one else felt that way, they only cared about themselves and the ones they were closer to. sure, everyone has their preferences but what about others abilities? i guess it doesn't matter so long as you get what you want. if someone isn't that important to you why should you care, right? i've been stupid. i knew all this but still chose to deny it. now there's no denying it.
i've felt so alone for so long now. it's funny, i see other people who seem to care more for me than people who i've known for longer and have always considered to be my best friends, yet i still cling to the idea that one day i'll fit in, that they'll feel the same way about me. i guess i've been pretty delusional this entire time.
i feel like a junkie. it's no good for me but i don't know how to detach myself from it all, though i know it's the only way to really stop the pain i've been enduring for so many years now.