A Sad Two Weeks
So, women fascinate me. Not just looks, I mean behaviors this time.
I think there is something wrong with me. I am stressed to the gills, which has happened before, but now, I have not gotten horny, not even a little bit, since Thanksgiving. My mother has been diagnosed with cancer. It's still very early, so there are lots of options, and lots of optimism, but it's still never something one wants to hear. On top of that, I lost my full time job, and have been scraping by on a part time job. It seems with the financial crisis in full swing, no big corporations are hiring right now, and I cannot stand retail any longer. Seriously. So, I'm kind of Fubar'ed until the economy picks up a bit. I'm not panicked, but I'm stressed. Rent comes awfully quick now. On top of THAT, it's the holidays, and that always triggers my depression (I'm manic/depressive, if that's not been mentioned before). Not sure why, things can be going great, but the week leading into Thanksgiving always triggers a fall.
Anyway, so I'm as uninterested in sex as can be. I write, I work, I feel stressed out, but not a boner to be found. And what happens? I have THREE women throw themselves at me. The first, a married woman. Not too attractive, but not bad either. Her kids make her tired, I think. It's easy to turn this one away (I mean, I'm a lot of things, but she's married with kids, so I'd have to be really horny to become the home-wrecking type). The second is a girl I met through a mutual friend. We chat...we have enough in common, and she's read my stories. I think that was her kicker (or the fact that I haven't even attempted to make a move on her). Saturday night rolls around, she wants to see me...I tell her I can't afford going out, she offers to buy. I say I couldn't let her do that, she offers to buy a twelve pack of beer and come over. Fine, I can't argue. My place is a mess, I clean up the living room and bathroom (the two important areas, I think), and after a few drinks, she's asking about the bedroom. Wants to see it, do I have a comfortable bed, she loves that I write, just a little bit please, you're a good kisser, etc. etc. This one was difficult to stop things with, but with the little soldier not responding, it's imperative it stays with limited activity.
And now, the third one. She's a wildcat. She knows she's a wildcat. She's been with several people I know, and they all still rave about their night with her. I've been interested before, and gotten no response. The past few weeks I've ignored any temptation (well, didn't ignore, it just wasn't there), and now, she's calling two or three times a week, texting two or three times a day, and wondering when she's going to get her chance with "Bait" (an old nickname my brother and his friends had given me). Ordinarily, I would've been rolling out the red carpet, and polishing the drapes for a chance with this girl...I mean, I don't want to date her, but she's like the chance to be with Jenna Jameson...she's been around, but damn she looks great and knows what she's doing...she's sex on a stick for crying out loud. And yet, not the slightest twinge. I'm hoping this is just a phase. I mean, I'm sure it's a phase, because there was a slight glimpse of hope tonight.
I haven't signed on to here because this is my sexy spot...this is where I look around at sexy people, talk about sex, think about sex, write about sex. It may not be xxx rated or anything, but I like the real amatuer feel to LJ over porn sites. Anyway, my favorite friend Phenanthroline posted some pics of her, and I got a nice tingle down there! She truly is one sexy, exciting woman. I think she's one of the few people I've seen/talked to on LJ who is genuine and that I'd actually continue to get along with in the real world (not that I'm asking, I think she lives too far away anyway), but that's a quality I like...she's real, with real emotions, real ideas, she's the genuine article.
Anyway, I hope my sad two weeks is almost up...even though I know it'll take me through December, possibly changing at New Year's (depending on how the party goes, changes for the good usually happen when the party for New Year's is good, but sometimes, it doesn't happen until a few days later).
I'll try and post more often...I think that'll be like a resolution or something for the next year.
I think there is something wrong with me. I am stressed to the gills, which has happened before, but now, I have not gotten horny, not even a little bit, since Thanksgiving. My mother has been diagnosed with cancer. It's still very early, so there are lots of options, and lots of optimism, but it's still never something one wants to hear. On top of that, I lost my full time job, and have been scraping by on a part time job. It seems with the financial crisis in full swing, no big corporations are hiring right now, and I cannot stand retail any longer. Seriously. So, I'm kind of Fubar'ed until the economy picks up a bit. I'm not panicked, but I'm stressed. Rent comes awfully quick now. On top of THAT, it's the holidays, and that always triggers my depression (I'm manic/depressive, if that's not been mentioned before). Not sure why, things can be going great, but the week leading into Thanksgiving always triggers a fall.
Anyway, so I'm as uninterested in sex as can be. I write, I work, I feel stressed out, but not a boner to be found. And what happens? I have THREE women throw themselves at me. The first, a married woman. Not too attractive, but not bad either. Her kids make her tired, I think. It's easy to turn this one away (I mean, I'm a lot of things, but she's married with kids, so I'd have to be really horny to become the home-wrecking type). The second is a girl I met through a mutual friend. We chat...we have enough in common, and she's read my stories. I think that was her kicker (or the fact that I haven't even attempted to make a move on her). Saturday night rolls around, she wants to see me...I tell her I can't afford going out, she offers to buy. I say I couldn't let her do that, she offers to buy a twelve pack of beer and come over. Fine, I can't argue. My place is a mess, I clean up the living room and bathroom (the two important areas, I think), and after a few drinks, she's asking about the bedroom. Wants to see it, do I have a comfortable bed, she loves that I write, just a little bit please, you're a good kisser, etc. etc. This one was difficult to stop things with, but with the little soldier not responding, it's imperative it stays with limited activity.
And now, the third one. She's a wildcat. She knows she's a wildcat. She's been with several people I know, and they all still rave about their night with her. I've been interested before, and gotten no response. The past few weeks I've ignored any temptation (well, didn't ignore, it just wasn't there), and now, she's calling two or three times a week, texting two or three times a day, and wondering when she's going to get her chance with "Bait" (an old nickname my brother and his friends had given me). Ordinarily, I would've been rolling out the red carpet, and polishing the drapes for a chance with this girl...I mean, I don't want to date her, but she's like the chance to be with Jenna Jameson...she's been around, but damn she looks great and knows what she's doing...she's sex on a stick for crying out loud. And yet, not the slightest twinge. I'm hoping this is just a phase. I mean, I'm sure it's a phase, because there was a slight glimpse of hope tonight.
I haven't signed on to here because this is my sexy spot...this is where I look around at sexy people, talk about sex, think about sex, write about sex. It may not be xxx rated or anything, but I like the real amatuer feel to LJ over porn sites. Anyway, my favorite friend Phenanthroline posted some pics of her, and I got a nice tingle down there! She truly is one sexy, exciting woman. I think she's one of the few people I've seen/talked to on LJ who is genuine and that I'd actually continue to get along with in the real world (not that I'm asking, I think she lives too far away anyway), but that's a quality I like...she's real, with real emotions, real ideas, she's the genuine article.
Anyway, I hope my sad two weeks is almost up...even though I know it'll take me through December, possibly changing at New Year's (depending on how the party goes, changes for the good usually happen when the party for New Year's is good, but sometimes, it doesn't happen until a few days later).
I'll try and post more often...I think that'll be like a resolution or something for the next year.