So Close
A one shot set late season 2 from Elena's pov that is dedicated to all the Delena fans who really need a good Delena moment in the show. :-)
Rated T
There was a strong feeling inside me that made the bile rise in my throat and my hands turn icy and damp. I had an overwhelming feeling things could only get worse. And it did. In walked Damon, glass in hand, somber look across his face. He looked sad. Sometimes I wished I could ask him how he was feeling, in a more personal manner. In this moment I just wanted to be alone, have my thoughts to myself and let a few hours pass while Stefan was out hunting. Sometimes the thought of kissing him after he had eaten a live bunny made me wrinkle my nose, something I was doing right now, and he had noticed.
"Hey" he said simply, raising his glass slightly in reaction. I tipped my head and gave him a little smile. He deserved that. I didn't need him thinking the vile look on my face earlier had anything to do with him. He warmed a little and his eyes never left me, so I had to be the one to look away.
"Thank you" I cleared my throat. We were alone and I just had to let him know. Thoughts had run through my mind all night about him and what he had done for me. I needed to know why, and not the reason he normally gave. He looked back at me confused, his eyes begged for me to continue.
"If you hadn't..." my voice trailed off, maybe those wernt the right words, but in a flash he was in front of me, no glass in his hand, but he had replaced it with my cheek, his thumb ever so slightly soothing my worries. My eyes met his and I saw right into his soul. He was truly broken. "I need you to know that I'm thankful you got here in time, I want you to know that. I think Elijah would have killed me." I gave stared deep into his eyes, he needed to know how scared I was.
He smiled back, his eyes falling to his thumb as he softly and slowly caressed my cheek. He was probably swallowing a little of the hero juice Id just fed him. His hair looked perfect and I couldn't help but smell his cologne. I closed my eyes briefly to inhale his scent, remember this moment forever and when I opened them I was met with his eyes.
"If anything happens to you I'm done." I narrowed my eyes in confusion. He stepped back and his hand dropped. I wished I could grab his hand, pull it back up to my face, kiss his palm, hold him. Did I really just think that?
"Stefan wouldn't kill you..." I said almost in a whisper, shaking my head, eyes narrowed and mouth soured. He looked away and took another step back. I stepped forwards and his eyes met mine. So blue.
"That's not what I meant Elena, so don't pretend it was." he said angrily tipping his head back as he spoke. I thought about his words and my heart ached. I knew what he meant. I didn't want to admit it to myself. Damon was completely in love with me. If I didn't exist, he didn't have a reason to either.
I grabbed his face and pulled his eyes back to mine. He looked angry and confused and I knew he was holding back.
"I don't want you to feel awkward around me Damon." I suggested. He narrowed his eyes and sprung forward. He was centimetres away from me now and I didn't move. I just looked into his eyes. The hairs on the back of my neck stood on end. Why did he make me feel like this?
"Who said anything about feeling awkward?" he whispered, his lips almost touching mine. My conscious played with the idea of kissing him. Pulling his hair into me. Letting our Hands run wild as our tongues danced and lips bruised with passion. Inhaling all of him and enjoying it fully, but that was never going to happen. I wasn't the one to pull away, he was stronger than I, another moment of that closeness might have pushed me over the edge, and for just one moment, I might have enjoyed Damon.
"I'm good." He turned away from me, and I knew those words were anything but true.
"Please don't let Katherine get to you Damon. I see how she's effecting you." I said it cautiously, it wasn't my business, but I needed it to be, for his sake. He turned and walked slowly back to my feet. He bent down slightly and brought his mouth to my ear. I didn't move, just closed my eyes, waiting for him to say something, or do something. I waited.
"Everytime I look at her, and she looks back at me, with those doe eyes, I hope she's you." He whispered softly, his breath catching in my hair. I swallowed hard. Why was he telling me this? Why was my heart beating so fast. I wanted to run away so fast, yet at the same time I wanted to be stood here, letting this scene play out. I didn't speak. I moved my hand and grabbed his softly. He let me hold it. I could hear his slight moan as my fingers entwined with his, and I knew I was pushing him to his limit.
"I cant be around you anymore, its too much." He choked. "I cant loose control with you, you're not mine." His words stung as I swallowed them. His chin was resting on my shoulder now, and we had shifted into a comfortable embrace, his chest pushed against mine and his free hand had found the loop on the back of my jeans, where his fingers played with the fabric. I raised my free hand to his face, letting my fingers pull through his hair, he moaned ever so quietly, but I still heard. Why did this feel so right? He took a breath and opened his mouth to speak. He hesitated before swallowing hard.
"But I don't want to let you go..." He said, low in voice, deep in emotion. My instinct kicked in, it was too much. I pulled his hair back and crashed my lips onto his. We didn't break hands, but he squeezed my fingers into his as his other hand gripped the skin on my back, his fingers found my bra but dipped back down to the dip in my back that was pushed into him. His tongue lashed at mine and I enjoyed kissing him back. This felt too right. This felt so wrong.
The pace slowed and we broke apart, he left me with a parting kiss before raising his hands to undo the latch on my necklace. I panicked and grabbed his hands behind my neck.
"NO!" I gave him a low sharp snap and he stopped what he was doing. "I kissed you. I need to remember that." I couldn't forget how I felt about him, in this moment I needed to realise it wasn't him that instigated this, and I eventually needed to come to terms with it. He registered my words and let his hands re-do the latch and then eventually cup my face.
"We cant do this." He said and I realised he was right. I nodded my head slowly. A tear escaped my eye and made a river on my cheek. He brushed it away when it hit his thumb, and I knew this was us, started, loved and finished.
"I love you Damon, thank you." I said simply, and he let me go. His face said a thousand things as he left the room, picking up the tumbler he entered with as he left me alone in the room my life got a whole lot more complicated.
Thank you Damon.