The Sims... Aren't they great?
I've recently decided to pull out my good ol' SIMS game and make these wonderful little creatures do whatever I tell them to. I make them eat when I want, make them bathe when I want, even urinate when I want. The best part... I get to choose who their friends are and who they fall in love with. It only takes a quick call on the phone to become friends again... And a quick kiss to be in love. I wish real life was this east.
Kasmira came up to my job today to have lunch with me. She was on the phone with Cherees. I told her to tell Cherees that me and her are no longer friends. All Cherees had to say was "okay" like she could really give a flying poop. I haven't talked to her in like 3 weeks. I guess she feels like she's too good to call her "friends" but yet she can call kasmira and Juaniecia everyday and kick it with them everyday. Her excuse for not calling me is because I'm always working. B f*kkin S. I don't ever work a full 40 hours a week and I seem to make time for Kim and Jeremy and to go down to Jamilles house for a few days. Whatever. She's just full of shit. She's someone that I can tell wasn't a true friend to begin with.
I was texting Kim a few days ago about my guy situation. How I'm tired of being the one that misses someone and how I want to be missed by a man, not a little boy. I also said how I'm tired of seeing these same people and how I'm ready to meet fresh new faces. Kim didn't text me back for a while so I just figured that she fell asleep or something. Then all of a sudden I get a call from Steve asking my I'm always talking about boys to Kim. He said that the only way that I will find Mr. Right is when I'm content with myself and don't need a man to make me whole and keep me happy. And as soon as I'm content with not needing a man in my life, that's when the right guy will come along. My jaw DROPPED when he said this to me.
First off - I don't need a man to make or keep me happy. I'm happy with the fact that I have 2 beautiful god babies making there way into this world sometime soon this year and that I have friends and family who love me and a beautiful healthy little brother who annoys the mess out of me. I'm not unhappy about anything except my weight, and that's something I can change if it truely made me unhappy.
And as far as me being content with myself - I am completely satisfied with my self. Sure I wish that a few things were different. I wish that I was still in school. I wish that I made more money. But all of those things with come into play when the time is right...
I'm so horribly confused about this whole thing with Jeremy. And I'm really about to contradict myself here when I say this, but he makes me happy. When I'm with him there's always a smile on my face. He makes me feel beautiful. He tells me he loves every inch of my body, which makes me want to stay just how I am.
I guess I'm just tired of these bullsh*t high school relationships. I wish I could turn my life into a SIMS game. I could throw a party, get the hottub and strip poker goin, turn on some music, get my flirt on, and be in love by the end of the night. YEAH right. Real life doesn't work that easy.
I want... DON'T NEED... but want a guy in my life full time. In reality I don't think I'd be able to deal with it, but the thought of it sounds nice. I know my schedule right now is full and a full time boyfriend would only make things more hectic, but with Ta'Liyah and Ava (possibly if it's a girl) coming into the world, I want someone to share those special moments with.
I was talking to Kim about me being pregnant. She didn't like that idea too much. She said that it's not time for me, and when that time comes with a particular guy, then GOD will give us a baby. I know that if I were to have a baby within the next year or 2 there's a lot that I will miss out on. But also, I don't like the thought of having babies in my 30's.
Jamille said she can't see me having children with just anyone. She sees me married for a few years before I start having children. That kinda scares me because at the rate I'm going, I probably won't even see an engagement ring until I'm like 28, if I even do.
Like a lot of people, I think about who I'm going to have children with, and who I'll marry. If it's someone that I already know, someone that I'll meet at a party or on a vacation, or someone that I least expect it to be.
I guess I'm getting all depressed and stuff because I'm listening to slow jams right now and wishing I could have someone to cuddle up with after I get done writing this.
I'm so ready to get out of Portland. Start my life over. Move to some place where NOBODY knows about my past. Who I've dated, who I've "did the nasty" with, or about the bad things I've done in my past. I want a clean slate. I can start over and introduce them to the real Cory. The Cory who doesn't care about what people think about her. The Cory who "doesn't need a man to fullful her". The Cory who isn't afraid to drive down the street bumpin Hillary Duff. You guys get the point.
A lot of people right now are seeing the real Cory that I listed above. I used to be a little intimidated by certain people. I wouldn't say certain stuff for fear of what the other people might say. I was always guy crazy and had a different guy in my life every other week.
I've finally gotten in touch with the real me. The me that likes to just sit at home some weekends and just read. The me thats quick to flip and cuss you out if you look at me wrong. The me that's not scared to be me.
I see a lot of my friends try to form into people that they are not just because they think that's what other people want to see or hang around with. I don't smoke weed everyday just because all my other friends do. I don't blow my money on useless things like my friends do when i have bills to pay and credit to build up. I don't sit at home all day everyday and watch kids for a "living" because I'm to scared to grow up and go get a real job.
I know I'm just ranting and raving. Some of that might not even make sense. I just had to get everything off my chest.
Cherees really pisses me off. She really acts like she thinks she's SOO much better than everyone else and that we all need to cater to her... sorry bitch, this isn't a Destinys Child song. This aint Burger King, you can't have it your way.
If me and cherees had to choose who had a right to act like they are the better person... hands down it would go to me. I have an education. I graduated high school... and went to some college. I plan on going back to school, unlike someone who didn't even want to get her diploma or GED. She had a tutor coming to her house for only like 3 hours a day 2 days a week and didn't want to do it anymore. She's about to be 19 and has NO type of education except half way thru Junior year. I have a real job, I don't sit at home watching my niece and nephew for a measly 640 a month, 300 of which I give to my mom. I don't smoke weed everyday just because my 2 other friends do. I don't obsess about BOYS all day.
We were supposed to be best friends. We were best friends for over a year. I think she used me though. We started hanging out a lot because of Kasmira and Juaniecia. Then they both went to Job Corps and it was just me and Cherees. We only had eachother so we were always together. When they both got back it slowly starting seeming like Cory was getting pushed out of her life... Kasmira and Juaniecia call me on a regular... but Cherees's precious life just didn't have any room for Cory... Stupid Bitch. and she had the nerve to act like me telling her that we aren't friends anymore didn't bother her... I should pop her tires...
If Steve wants to play DR Phil and give advice on love lifes and ish... that's who he needs to be talking to.
That's it for right now. that's for reading.
Kasmira came up to my job today to have lunch with me. She was on the phone with Cherees. I told her to tell Cherees that me and her are no longer friends. All Cherees had to say was "okay" like she could really give a flying poop. I haven't talked to her in like 3 weeks. I guess she feels like she's too good to call her "friends" but yet she can call kasmira and Juaniecia everyday and kick it with them everyday. Her excuse for not calling me is because I'm always working. B f*kkin S. I don't ever work a full 40 hours a week and I seem to make time for Kim and Jeremy and to go down to Jamilles house for a few days. Whatever. She's just full of shit. She's someone that I can tell wasn't a true friend to begin with.
I was texting Kim a few days ago about my guy situation. How I'm tired of being the one that misses someone and how I want to be missed by a man, not a little boy. I also said how I'm tired of seeing these same people and how I'm ready to meet fresh new faces. Kim didn't text me back for a while so I just figured that she fell asleep or something. Then all of a sudden I get a call from Steve asking my I'm always talking about boys to Kim. He said that the only way that I will find Mr. Right is when I'm content with myself and don't need a man to make me whole and keep me happy. And as soon as I'm content with not needing a man in my life, that's when the right guy will come along. My jaw DROPPED when he said this to me.
First off - I don't need a man to make or keep me happy. I'm happy with the fact that I have 2 beautiful god babies making there way into this world sometime soon this year and that I have friends and family who love me and a beautiful healthy little brother who annoys the mess out of me. I'm not unhappy about anything except my weight, and that's something I can change if it truely made me unhappy.
And as far as me being content with myself - I am completely satisfied with my self. Sure I wish that a few things were different. I wish that I was still in school. I wish that I made more money. But all of those things with come into play when the time is right...
I'm so horribly confused about this whole thing with Jeremy. And I'm really about to contradict myself here when I say this, but he makes me happy. When I'm with him there's always a smile on my face. He makes me feel beautiful. He tells me he loves every inch of my body, which makes me want to stay just how I am.
I guess I'm just tired of these bullsh*t high school relationships. I wish I could turn my life into a SIMS game. I could throw a party, get the hottub and strip poker goin, turn on some music, get my flirt on, and be in love by the end of the night. YEAH right. Real life doesn't work that easy.
I want... DON'T NEED... but want a guy in my life full time. In reality I don't think I'd be able to deal with it, but the thought of it sounds nice. I know my schedule right now is full and a full time boyfriend would only make things more hectic, but with Ta'Liyah and Ava (possibly if it's a girl) coming into the world, I want someone to share those special moments with.
I was talking to Kim about me being pregnant. She didn't like that idea too much. She said that it's not time for me, and when that time comes with a particular guy, then GOD will give us a baby. I know that if I were to have a baby within the next year or 2 there's a lot that I will miss out on. But also, I don't like the thought of having babies in my 30's.
Jamille said she can't see me having children with just anyone. She sees me married for a few years before I start having children. That kinda scares me because at the rate I'm going, I probably won't even see an engagement ring until I'm like 28, if I even do.
Like a lot of people, I think about who I'm going to have children with, and who I'll marry. If it's someone that I already know, someone that I'll meet at a party or on a vacation, or someone that I least expect it to be.
I guess I'm getting all depressed and stuff because I'm listening to slow jams right now and wishing I could have someone to cuddle up with after I get done writing this.
I'm so ready to get out of Portland. Start my life over. Move to some place where NOBODY knows about my past. Who I've dated, who I've "did the nasty" with, or about the bad things I've done in my past. I want a clean slate. I can start over and introduce them to the real Cory. The Cory who doesn't care about what people think about her. The Cory who "doesn't need a man to fullful her". The Cory who isn't afraid to drive down the street bumpin Hillary Duff. You guys get the point.
A lot of people right now are seeing the real Cory that I listed above. I used to be a little intimidated by certain people. I wouldn't say certain stuff for fear of what the other people might say. I was always guy crazy and had a different guy in my life every other week.
I've finally gotten in touch with the real me. The me that likes to just sit at home some weekends and just read. The me thats quick to flip and cuss you out if you look at me wrong. The me that's not scared to be me.
I see a lot of my friends try to form into people that they are not just because they think that's what other people want to see or hang around with. I don't smoke weed everyday just because all my other friends do. I don't blow my money on useless things like my friends do when i have bills to pay and credit to build up. I don't sit at home all day everyday and watch kids for a "living" because I'm to scared to grow up and go get a real job.
I know I'm just ranting and raving. Some of that might not even make sense. I just had to get everything off my chest.
Cherees really pisses me off. She really acts like she thinks she's SOO much better than everyone else and that we all need to cater to her... sorry bitch, this isn't a Destinys Child song. This aint Burger King, you can't have it your way.
If me and cherees had to choose who had a right to act like they are the better person... hands down it would go to me. I have an education. I graduated high school... and went to some college. I plan on going back to school, unlike someone who didn't even want to get her diploma or GED. She had a tutor coming to her house for only like 3 hours a day 2 days a week and didn't want to do it anymore. She's about to be 19 and has NO type of education except half way thru Junior year. I have a real job, I don't sit at home watching my niece and nephew for a measly 640 a month, 300 of which I give to my mom. I don't smoke weed everyday just because my 2 other friends do. I don't obsess about BOYS all day.
We were supposed to be best friends. We were best friends for over a year. I think she used me though. We started hanging out a lot because of Kasmira and Juaniecia. Then they both went to Job Corps and it was just me and Cherees. We only had eachother so we were always together. When they both got back it slowly starting seeming like Cory was getting pushed out of her life... Kasmira and Juaniecia call me on a regular... but Cherees's precious life just didn't have any room for Cory... Stupid Bitch. and she had the nerve to act like me telling her that we aren't friends anymore didn't bother her... I should pop her tires...
If Steve wants to play DR Phil and give advice on love lifes and ish... that's who he needs to be talking to.
That's it for right now. that's for reading.