(no subject)
i can't even deal with how bizarre this place feels right now. both maddie and stephanie have packed up and moved to their new apartment. there is nothing left on their walls. maddie just left all of her food behind instead of dealing with the hassle of moving it, so i was just in the kitchen, helping myself to a can of her split pea and ham campbell's soup (yeah, it sounds gross, but it's actually pretty good). as i was cooking it, gary came in and said, "wow, it's so weird in here. it's sad." i thought that was funny coming from here, because i always had the vague idea that he found us kind of crazy, kind of weird, kind of annoying. but i know what he means. there's nothing left on the walls, all the beer bottles from our many nights of power hour have been thrown in the recycle bin. it's just so empty. aviva and brian are studying in her room. rachel and the other stephanie are downloading music. teresa, adriana, and gary are in their room doing whatever they usually do. but it's SO QUIET. it just makes me realize how certain people (or certain dynamics between certain people) really add to the energy of a place.
btw, i'm eating my soup out of a tupperware container because all of my bowls have been packed up.
i don't know. i just have such mixed emotions about the end of this year, so different from the end of last year. i was so hopeful the end of my freshman year. especially since i was so ready to have a different living situation, to live with my sisters, instead of my former suitemates, who i didn't really get along with. i had no reservations about ending my freshman year of college, since sophomore year held such promise. now i'm right in the middle. while i'm so hopeful about what next year can (and will) bring, there's also this extreme sadness in me that this year will be over in two days.
this year, and especially this semester, has been full of SO MUCH drama (i apologize for not having written about it and not having written in months in general), but honestly, when i look back on it, it was FUN. despite all of the negative things that took place, in the end, i had such a great time, met amazing new people, and solidified some really good friendships.
there's no doubt about it, next year is going to be very different. i was talking to charlene today, who just came back from studying abroad in florence, and she's a textbook case of one of those people who's come back from that semester and just gone through a complete withdrawal of everything they left behind to come back home. we went to starbucks and talked for two-and-a-half hours (i'd forgotten how nice it is to talk to her, and i'd missed talking about things i don't talk to anyone else about). and while i am so happy she had such an amazing experience in europe, i just felt so let down that us and new york could no longer (at least for now) be that rock that made her happy.
she talked alot about whether to be on leave of absence from the sorority next semester (her last before she graduates), and how most of the people she's talked to have told her it could be a good idea. this just disappoints me so much, especially since so many people promise that, while they're taking a break, it's just a break, and that won't change the friendship.. they will still be around. it just so rarely turns out that way. i feel like once someone takes that baby step, they just never return, and though i shouldn't, i take that as a huge slap in the face, not only as a member of the organization, but also personally as a sister and a friend.
for those of you that don't know, i'm going to be the president next year, and i'm trying really, really hard to approach the position with vitality, positivity, and encouragement. i'm not going to lie, we've had a rough year, and i'm just really looking forward to revitalizing the organization, placing our emphasis on different things, and making a lot of personal growth. but the year hasn't even started yet, and i find myself getting so discouraged. everyone i seem to talk to lately has been such a downer, picking out all the negative aspects of the organization while ignoring the positives. i just get so frustrated, because it makes my job that much harder, and while constructive criticism is one thing, i just hate hearing all of that since the organization has played a huge and primarily positive role in my life.
i think i just need a break. these next four months are going to be blissful. reading, tanning, watching TV, and working with some of my favorite people. four months of relatively little WORRY and STRESS. i cannot wait.
btw, i'm eating my soup out of a tupperware container because all of my bowls have been packed up.
i don't know. i just have such mixed emotions about the end of this year, so different from the end of last year. i was so hopeful the end of my freshman year. especially since i was so ready to have a different living situation, to live with my sisters, instead of my former suitemates, who i didn't really get along with. i had no reservations about ending my freshman year of college, since sophomore year held such promise. now i'm right in the middle. while i'm so hopeful about what next year can (and will) bring, there's also this extreme sadness in me that this year will be over in two days.
this year, and especially this semester, has been full of SO MUCH drama (i apologize for not having written about it and not having written in months in general), but honestly, when i look back on it, it was FUN. despite all of the negative things that took place, in the end, i had such a great time, met amazing new people, and solidified some really good friendships.
there's no doubt about it, next year is going to be very different. i was talking to charlene today, who just came back from studying abroad in florence, and she's a textbook case of one of those people who's come back from that semester and just gone through a complete withdrawal of everything they left behind to come back home. we went to starbucks and talked for two-and-a-half hours (i'd forgotten how nice it is to talk to her, and i'd missed talking about things i don't talk to anyone else about). and while i am so happy she had such an amazing experience in europe, i just felt so let down that us and new york could no longer (at least for now) be that rock that made her happy.
she talked alot about whether to be on leave of absence from the sorority next semester (her last before she graduates), and how most of the people she's talked to have told her it could be a good idea. this just disappoints me so much, especially since so many people promise that, while they're taking a break, it's just a break, and that won't change the friendship.. they will still be around. it just so rarely turns out that way. i feel like once someone takes that baby step, they just never return, and though i shouldn't, i take that as a huge slap in the face, not only as a member of the organization, but also personally as a sister and a friend.
for those of you that don't know, i'm going to be the president next year, and i'm trying really, really hard to approach the position with vitality, positivity, and encouragement. i'm not going to lie, we've had a rough year, and i'm just really looking forward to revitalizing the organization, placing our emphasis on different things, and making a lot of personal growth. but the year hasn't even started yet, and i find myself getting so discouraged. everyone i seem to talk to lately has been such a downer, picking out all the negative aspects of the organization while ignoring the positives. i just get so frustrated, because it makes my job that much harder, and while constructive criticism is one thing, i just hate hearing all of that since the organization has played a huge and primarily positive role in my life.
i think i just need a break. these next four months are going to be blissful. reading, tanning, watching TV, and working with some of my favorite people. four months of relatively little WORRY and STRESS. i cannot wait.