Underoath Cries The Past [5/?]
Title: Underoath Cries the Past
Chapter: Outspoken
Autor: MissChriis (:
Beta/Co-Writer: the fastest & best beta in the world: TranceGem♥
Rating: M [future Chapters - as always x]]
Disclaimer: Don't own anything related to GA & I don't plan to get any profit out of what my mind creates!
(Short)Summary: Without Love, Hate, couldn't exist. Don't you think?
AN1: Did it again, finished this chap month ago & didn't post it! What the?? haha
Reviews are very weclome & make me super happy :]
Outspoken
Callie’s POV
“Mark?” Callie called through Mark's apartment the next day. “What?” he asked coming out of the bathroom, just a towel around his waist. “Can’t you lock the door until you’re dressed?” Callie asked annoyed “You could have knocked” he suggested grinning. “Good point” Callie replied. Before she could say anything more, both got interrupted.
Megan’s POV
“Mark have you seen my…oh no! Callie?!” Megan, only wearing a shirt of Mark and her panties, walking out of the bedroom, asked shocked. “Did I wake you?” Mark asked Megan surprised. “No…well sort of but that’s fine. Emily wakes me up way earlier, so no worries” she replied flashing him a sweet smile.
Arizona’s POV
“Calliope?” Arizona asked entering Marks apartment too. “What are you doing here? Breakfast is ready, and…” the rest of the sentences didn’t made it though Arizona’s lips.
The blonde stared at Megan. “My morning couldn’t have started any better” Megan sighed sarcastically. “We’ll talk later Mark” Callie said and left the apartment of her best friend with a knowing smile. “I’ll get dressed.” Mark said turning towards his bedroom “Need your shirt?” Megan asked. “Maybe” Mark replied grinning and went with a “Arizona”, and a friendly nod towards the blonde, before he closed the bedroom door behind him.
“Wow Megan, I am impressed” Arizona spit. “You’re the…second day in Seattle Grace Mercy West hospital and already slept with our male wore.” She added, turning around. “I think the chances are low, will you ever will change, or at least grow up?” she said sharply, turning around to leave Mark’s apartment too.
“Jealous, aren’t we?” Megan asked, overhearing Arizona’s comment. And without turning around the blonde could hear the wicked smile in Megan’s voice and the tiny voice, agreeing, in her head.
Megan’s POV
Arizona closed the door to Mark’s flat behind her. The loud slamming noise brought Megan back into reality. The fact that she was with Mark, ‘the male whore’ how Arizona called him, made the blonde mad, according to her leaving extremely. A short grin flashed over Megan’s lips, she knew, she’d made the right decision. Slowly walking into the bedroom to see Mark, Megan enjoyed the feeling of her first little victory, but she knew the war hadn’t even started yet.
If she was right, Arizona would ignore her for the rest of the day. This behavior towards her new Attending would cause questions, questions - Megan knew, Arizona wasn’t willing to answer.
“What did she mean?” Mark asked as soon as Megan had entered the bedroom. “Huh?” she asked with a confused look on her face. “With the ‘you changing or at least growing up’ - part” he explained. “Oh…well” Megan sighed “To make it short, according to your ‘nickname’, I am somewhat the female version of you” Mark widened his eyes in surprise. “And Arizona knows how I am…or how I can be…she already hated this side of me in med school” she added. “How well do you know Arizona?” Mark changed the topic, he wasn’t willing to hear more about Megan and the ‘female version’ of himself. “Uhm” Megan thought for a moment “Well enough to know, that she’ll ignore me for the day, ‘punishing me with her silence’, you know?” Megan chose her words wisely, not willing to give much information on her and Arizona’s past away. “She can be silent? For a whole day?” Mark asked laughing. “No way! I've know her for almost two years and I haven’t seen her that quiet yet” Megan
smiled “Means, I know her better then you do” she said winking.
“Will you stay for breakfast?” Mark asked the black haired after she exited his bathroom, completely dressed now. “I’d love to, but I can’t. Emily needs her lunch box and I’ve to get her to preschool soon” she told the older man in front of her with honest sadness in her voice. “I understand” Mark smiled, Megan immediately mirrored his smile. “How old is Emily?” Mark asked. “She turned a year, three month ago”, Megan replied smiling, still remembering her little girl staring at the big pink cake with one single candle on it. “Had you planned, to have her?” Mark asked, hoping not to go too far. “No, not at all” Megan replied. “I mean, don’t get me wrong. I always wanted kids. Just not…that early, but I am glad that I have her” she explained smiling. “That’s all that counts” Mark told her. “Mark, listen. I am sorry but I really need to go now. As much as I would love to stay, I can’t. I’ll see you at the hospital, okay?” she told him. “I hope” he replied. “Great. Bye” with a short but soft kiss she left him and his apartment.
“What has she done?” Taylor greeted is sister as soon as she entered their flat. “Nothing” Megan shot back, placing Emily’s lunch box at the table. “You may be able to fool our parents or anyone else Megan, but not me. Tell me, what has she done?” he asked again. “Before I could leave the locker room, she and her girlfriend burst in, not noticing me.” The tiny voice in Megan’s head woke up ‘You are jealous Megan.’ It told her. “And…they made out…I believe they would have gone further, if I wouldn’t had interrupted them” Taylor could see the pain flickering though his sisters eyes for a second, before they turned empty. She wasn’t over Arizona at all. She even fooled him, when she said she was. “But, I got my revenge” Megan said smiling a cold smile. “She went into Mark’s flat this morning, basically searching for her girlfriend, I wonder, what Callie wanted” Megan thought for a moment. “Anyways, you should have seen the look on her face” Taylor smiled too. “Let me guess, she’ll punish you with silence, huh?” Megan grinned. “I hope” They both knew, what Arizona’s reaction towards Megan and Mark meant. “We aren’t done yet” the blue eyed boy spoke out what both of them thought.
Arizona’s POV
Megan was right. It was almost lunch time and the PEDs surgeon hadn’t spoke a single word to her, since this morning. She even let Megan work alone. Not because she knew Megan would be able to work alone. No, it was the best way to avoid to say a word to the black haired girl.
Arizona still looked at Megan from time to time, she told herself she only did it to check on her and the work she did. It was a lie and Arizona couldn’t even believe it herself.
“Will my sister get better?” Lucy, a patient's twin sister asked Megan. Megan was always great with her patients, especially with the tiny humans, Arizona never understood why Megan had chosen PEDs, she could have done everything, cardio, neurology, she could have done everything, because she was amazing at it. The blonde understood why Megan chose PEDs when she saw her for the very first time with one of her tiny patients. “It sucks to be without Kim, we’re together non-stop. Without her…I'm feeling incomplete” she sighed, before Megan could answer. “Kimberly will get better, she's recovering. Slowly.” Megan told the girl next to her. “Give your sister a little time and she’ll be with you again” a soft smile took over Megan’s lips while she spoke. “And I know how you feel, I have twin brother” Lucy smiled. “Oh really?” Megan nodded, “Yes, I am the older one, but Taylor was always really protective when it came to me” Thinking about her last meeting with Taylor, Arizona knew, he still is. Turning round to her sister, Lucy said “We both skate, you know? And Kim and I were about to learn some new tricks and jumps. She wanted to try them first, before I’d be allowed to do them. She failed and crashed hard onto the edge of the half pipe. Before she closed her eyes, she said to me: ‘Don’t you dare, to try this’, she always tries to protect me. And now I feel like it is my fault, that she's lying here. I wanted to try the back flip so badly. It’s my fault” - “It’s not your fault Lucy.” Megan started. “It was an accident, it’s no one’s fault. Accidents happen.” It was visible that Lucy didn’t believe her. “Listen Lucy, when Taylor and I were about five years old, our parents went on vacation with us, we went to Hawaii to visit our family there. We only were allowed to go into the water with our feet. Of course we didn’t listen. It was our first time seeing the ocean and the waves. Taylor and I decided to collect little stones for our mother.” Arizona met Megan’s Hawaiian family once, they went on vacation, Megan lied to her boyfriend, telling him her brother and some friends would join her at the trip. In the end, only Taylor, his girlfriend Julia, Megan and Arizona herself went on vacation. “They looked so beautiful you know?” the black haired said. Arizona only listened halfhearted to what she said. The memories of Megan surfing took over her mind. Megan tried at least twenty times to surf together with the blonde, she wanted to show her the colors inside the tube so badly. They failed, more than once both swallowed the salty water. Arizona already would have given up, but Megan always got her with her puppy eyes to another try. In the end, it worked and Arizona saw, what Megan meant. She never saw so many colors naturally at once.
"We saw some amazing stones a little further away and decided to go there, before we got the stones, we were hit by a wave.” Arizona never heard this story before, but it made sense. Taylor always had some issues if it came to the ocean. As soon as he felt uncomfortable because of too big waves, he only sat at the beach, watching everyone else. “Taylor almost died that day.” Megan brought over her lips, for a moment Arizona could see something like fear in Megan’s eyes. “Nobody ever said it was my fault, but I felt like it was. I am the older one, I should have known better and I should have listened to our mother, but I didn’t.” - “But it wasn’t your fault” Lucy told her immediately. “How could you have known something like that would happen?” she asked, Megan only smiled in respond. “You couldn’t have known too, and neither did she” Without warning Lucy wrapped her arms around Megan’s body. “Thank you” she mumbled. “You’re welcome. Just always remember, that feeling guilty, doesn’t help your sister. She needs you and your full support. And you can’t be there for her if the guilt, gets all your attention” Lucy smiled a little. “I will be there for her” she told Megan proud. “How did you stopped the feeling?” Megan thought for a moment, Arizona could see in Megan’s eyes, that the feeling was still alive, deep inside Megan’s mind. “I thought, Taylor would hate me, and I was scared what he would say to me. I drew about hundred ‘get well soon’ pictures, they all hung around in his room and I slept in his bed, to be there when he woke up. When he finally did, he asked me when we could go and collect stones again” Megan smiled “With this huge smile on his face. He wasn’t mad at all. He didn’t cared. What was important to him, was that I was with him.” She added. “And I am sure, Kimberly will be very happy to see you, when she wakes up” Lucy smiled too “I hope”. Smiling, but staring at her hands, Megan left the patients room. “It’s my fault” Arizona could hear a small whisper, when Megan passed her. The blonde starred after her, as if Megan felt Arizona’s eyes on her back, she turned to face Arizona for a short moment, with a sad smile on her lips.
Arizona sat with Callie and Mark for lunch, she was glad, Megan wasn’t around them, it was already enough her mind that her mind triggered memories from their first vacation. till she suddenly appeared with Emily in her arms. “Mark?” she asked softly. “Could you do me a favor?” Mark turned after her. “Sure, what do you need?” the black haired smiled thankful. “I have an appointment with the Chief. And…I don’t know where Emily can be, till I’m done. I was wondering, if you could take her? It won’t take long, I promise” she looked at him with her ‘puppy-eyes’ hoping he would agree. Arizona knew this look on her face. She saw it often enough and knew it would get Mark to do everything for her. “Of course, I’ll take her” Mark replied getting up. “Did you already ate lunch?” he asked Emily, she nodded and her black curls flew around her head. “Pudding” Emily smiled widely. “You had pudding for lunch?” Mark asked surprised. “No, want” she said still smiling. Mark thought for a moment. “So you want pudding as dessert?” Emily nodded in excitement. “What flavor? Chocolate? Or vanilla?” he asked taking Emily out of Megan’s hands. “Late” Emily replied. “Thank you Mark. I owe you big time” Megan said turning. “I promise to hurry” she added already leaving.
Arizona already knew, what Mark would want from her…
Megan’s POV
When the green eyed girl got back into the Cafeteria, Mark was still sitting at the same table with Arizona and Callie. Emily, was the center of their attention, she was sat on Mark’s lap, eating…or at least she tried to eat her pudding alone. According to her face, hands and Mark’s shirt, the pudding was everywhere but inside her tummy. Callie and Arizona, both opened her mouth, synchrony with Emily who tried to get another spoon of pudding inside her wide opened mouth. “You made it” Callie said smiling widely when Emily managed to get at least a bit of the pudding inside her mouth. “I told you, with the end of our break she would at least have eaten a bit of the pudding” Mark replied to Callie proudly.
His hand went in a careful and protective way through Emily’s black curls, “Your mom will be proud, when I tell her you ate alone” Mark told the little girl who already had another spoon on it’s way to her mouth. “I think she has a father Mark” Mark glared angry towards Arizona. The blonde immediately regretted her a little too harsh shot towards Mark “I'm just trying to be nice” he replied protecting himself. Emily turned her head to face Mark. She smiled widely. “Nis” she said. “I suppose that means nice” Callie translated and Emily nodded still smiling widely.
“How are you?” he asked softly. He didn’t get a response from the girl sitting in the corner on a black leather couch. She had her arms wrapped around her legs, in a way of protection. “Megan?” he tried again getting slowly closer. “What do you want from me?” she asked with an empty voice. “I am sorry…I'll be going as soon as I know…, I…was just wondering…if…I mean…” he stumbled over the words. “Are you…pregnant?” he finally managed to get them out. Immediately, green eyes shot open. “It’s not yours.” She spit out, a small sigh escaped his lips, she was pregnant.
“It’s possible…from one of my…’high-nights-out’.” She added cold. Her words hurt him, more then he wanted to admit. “Doesn’t matter. I’ll be there for you and the child. I don’t care if I am the biological father or not. I always would try to be a father for your child, if you want?” he asked carefully.
Silence was his answer.
“GO!” suddenly Megan screamed getting up. “What?” he asked confused. “Go” Go way! Leave me alone! Like everyone does. Run! I don’t need you!” she screamed, feeling the hot tears running down her face. “I don’t need anyone” she added still screaming. “Just run, like everyone else did!” she yelled.
”I think, it is better, if you go now” Lilly, Megan’s mother said, softly but with force, pushing him out of the room.
“I don’t need anyone” the black haired girl sat again, fighting her tears and the sobs, building in her chest.
“Mommy!” a smiling, covered with chocolate pudding face, turned towards Megan. “Emily” Megan smiled warmly. “What have you done? Did you tried a chocolate face mask?” Megan asked, pretending she hadn’t heard their conversation. “No” Mark said smiling proudly. “She ate pudding.” He told Megan, still having the proud smile on his face, he added: “Alone!” Emily looked proud too. “What? You ate alone? You really did?” Megan asked while she cleaned Emily’s face with a tissue. “Yes” Emily smiled proud. “You should…maybe change” Megan said to Mark smiling. “That’s a good idea” Mark replied looking onto his scrub shirt. “How much of the pudding actually made it to her mouth?” Megan asked, taking a seat next to Mark, with Emily on her lap. “10percent of the pudding…I think” Callie replied. “But most of it landed somewhere else” she added. “I can Imagine” Megan said smiling. “I always have to re-dress her after she tried to drink out of a normal glass.” Megan added. “Well she is practicing” Mark said smiling over the little girl clapping her hands on the table.
“Will Taylor take her again?” Mark asked. “Yes, he will. He should be here in any minute” Megan replied and got up. “Are you two caring alone for her?” Callie asked suddenly. “Or…I mean…is there her father?” Megan froze for a moment. “No. Just we two care for her. Her father decided against her” she replied after she gathered her thoughts together. “So she has no contact with him?” Callie asked again. “Not really. And my parents blame me because she doesn’t has a father-like role model. But what should I do? I can’t change it”
The change in Mark’s facial expression was visible. “Whenever…you need some help, like today, I’d be glad to help” Megan was able to read between the lines and of course, she knew he’d be glad to help…
Arizona’s POV
“Emily?” Megan asked kneeling in front of her daughter. “Can you promise me something?” Emily nodded. “Be a nice girl okay? Listen to what Taylor says” she told Emily. “She has to promise you to be nice? How bad can she be?” Callie asked surprised. “She takes right after her mother. And Megan wasn’t one of the good girls” Taylor, who came closer, answered Callie’s question. “As if you were better” Megan said smiling wickedly. “I learned from you” Taylor replied mirroring her smile.
Taylor lifted Emily. “We’ll go to the playground today sweetie” he told the little girl, Emily clapped in response. “Her lunch box?” he asked. “Oh yes. I would have forgotten again.” She replies sheepishly. “Next time, you forget it, I’ll go and get it” he told his sister glaring over to Arizona. “Yeah…whatever” Megan replied, staring at her hands.
Moments later Megan and Taylor went.
He was right, Megan never was really one of the good girls.
Of course, she was always friendly, always supportive, helpful and there if you needed her, but there also was another Megan. A Megan who didn’t cared about other people or their feelings, Arizona knew this side of her too well. Megan never really showed this side to Arizona herself, but she saw often enough to what the black haired girl was able to.
Megan’s POV
“I told you, she wouldn’t say a single word to me” Megan told Mark. Right after her shift ended, she went to his apartment, knowing he would wait there for her. “I’m impressed” he replied pouring her a glass of wine. “I didn’t know she could be that silent” an evil grin flashed over Megan’s face. “Oh there might be some things you don’t know about her” she told Mark. “Like what?” - “Never mind” Megan winked, not willing to give away too much information.
“What was it like? To be Arizona’s, roommate?” Mark asked after a while. “Pretty…cool actually. We had a lot of fun, and she was always willing to help” her answer was honest. “My brother and I skipped classes. So I was the youngest, everywhere…and most students didn’t like us, mostly because they thought I was too young” Mark smiled. “But you proved them wrong”, after a nod Megan went on explaining “Arizona was my very first friend in med school.” Megan sighed “Not that I didn’t have any friends, I had them, but not in med school, I was hated there.” - “You were glad to have her, huh?” Mark asked. “Of course I was, she helped me a lot” Mark grinned, “With biology or what?” it was a joke, of course it was a joke, but Megan didn’t thought before she replied. “Yes, she did” Megan said a little too serious. “I mean…if my boyfriend wasn’t willing” Megan added with a smile on her lips, hoping Mark would take it as a joke.
“What happened between you and Arizona?” Mark asked out of the sudden. “I mean now she seems to hate you…and if you were friends…well there must have something happened…” he added. “She doesn’t hate me. She just doesn’t know how to act around me” Mark looked confused. “So your friendship simply broke?” Mark asked, trying to understand. “Not simply” Megan sighed. ”Nothing is simple Mark, if you live like I do.” it was visible, Megan disappeared to a place somewhere in her mind “She tries to be nice but I push her away.” Megan’s gaze turned empty, Marks confusion only grew. “Do you hate her?” he asked as soft as he could. “Maybe” Megan replied from far away. “Why are you here? If you...actually don't like her anymore? Maybe even hate her?” Mark asked, trying to understand her. “I mean you came here, knowing she is working here right? After Addison informed you about me, she must have informed you about everyone” he added. “Before I had to take a break, with Emily, Arizona beat me. She won and shined as the better surgeon...I simply want to beat her, one last time” Megan smiled, it was easy for her, to cover her lie. Mark didn't noticed the evil in her smile as the real reason why she was here, flashed through her mind. “Payback, is a Bitch”