I'm still alive
I had not been blogging since I finish my surgery. Was simply too tired and not sure what to blog.
These 5 weeks is quite a busy week and tired week for me. Start from the day of the surgery. Woke up as usual as I got to admit at 9.45am but was late due to traffic jam. Reach already registered and got a mask. Put it on then move up to the admission area and fill up some form regarding the payment stuff after which wait again till I was been ask to go to the ward. At the ward, after some instruction from the nurse, got change into the grown and waited there for the doctor to come and say about the surgery stuff. While on the way and waiting been sms-ing boy and my gf. They encourage me to go and not to worry all this. Would like to thanked them for their encouragement asking me not to be afraid. *xie xie* I was online too and there is some friend who come MSN me adb they does not really know that I going for surgery that make me don't even feel like replying their msn message but then I just do not want to be rude just reply.
Tears dropped when I was in the room with the doctor. Firstly, the doctor is a girl and I sort of got no faith in her and after which she started to explained the risk that I going to face. I just can't help but tear dropped and the doctor even ask if I want the surgery to be done or postpone. I told myself that I can't postpone. Then after which was ask to rest and I sms boy telling him that I afraid that I might say no to the surgery and he reply asking me to just go with that i tried my best to not to think about it. play game that is on my mobile phone. Check my office e-mail and reply to some e-mail and sms rossy to help me to settle some urgent stuff. By keeping myself from busy, I never think much about my surgery.
I was been push into the operation theratre at 1pm and I was feeling damm cold that make me sheiving and I was scared too that I even tears again but the surgeon was quite fierce and ask me to copororate else he can't do anything. He do some injection through my hand and it was pain and a doctor gave me a mask to breathe and I was like going to vomit cause of the rubbber smell. I wanted to take it away and I heard that the surgeon say tell the rest thatI gonig to fall asleep but I was telling myself, I still awake, i not sleepy at all and he took over the mask and force me to breathe and i fall asleep. I do not know what happen after that. Suddenly was force to wake up by the nurse. She told me that everything is over. I open my eyes and I realised that I still alive and I feel the surgery area to make sure that they really did do the suregey there. Next momment, I wanted to vomited out so I sat up and guess what? the nurse push me back to the bed don't let me vomit and sit up and the next thing is that I feel like asking the nurse where am i? But I felt really stupid to ask such a question. The reason for me to ask is cause I know that before I sleep, I saw alot of light above me yet when I up, the light is different and I remember that I tell myself that maybe those round light is movable. I know is lame but then. haha..
The nurse told me that she will take me to the ward soon and I wanted to tell her that I do not want to walk back can wheel me back but then I realized that I was on the bed they can push me cause the bed has wheel. silly me. Vomited out and can see blood. OMG. Feeling very very tired after the surgery that I slept awhile and when I in the ward, I check my hp and saw missed call. It was Ma who called so did do a return call but was too weak to speak to her then. The nurse brought me a drink and i taste like ribena. Did not drink finish cause got the feeling of vomitting
Since I was fine, I can discharge, lucky me, as I hate to stay in the hospital. In the end was ask to take the pills on time and ask to go back to check up and I wa given a week MC and it is the first time that I was given hospitalist leave. Ma visted me at night. She rang up my mobile but I was sleeping and did not answered it..haha..
I went back to work on Tuesday instead of making full use of my MC. I was fine and bored so when back. Saw my boy on that day and he did ask about me but I told him not that well. never chat much with him too. That week went back to check up, doctor never say much also and was been charge consultation fee. sort of like waste money type.haha
After which, the following week, went over to malacca for a short stay to relax and enjoy. The driver not that good as he seem to keep bringing us to places that is not fun at all.
Month-end was still quite ok not that busy as I clear all my stuff on time and the following week which is already the first week of august. It was not that good as I live with worried. Worried till no mood to do my work adn tear dropped. Wednesday, 5 August, went to work and keep sms and tear did drop and I had to be brave not to tear so after work rush to have meal at woodland and act nothing happen. Thursday, was still ok. Just normal sms going around but on Friday, it was not good. Work also no mood keep sms-ing asking about ma operation all this. Calling here and there. Tears drop but trying to hold it back as I do not want anyone to know. Got the feeling of asking boy for a hug but I didn't. Heart beatting faster and faster when my mobile ring as sms is in. Time run and the operation should be over but ma not out yet and it make me more worried till I really feel like going off from work but I tell myself no, I can't do such thing. Ended up she is fine and I continue rushing my work so that I can go down to visit her. 1 person is allowed to stay in the hospital with ma and without thinking, I just say I will stay. I just rush my work and leave office to go down to visit her. buy dinner before I went up. I do feel scared but I still brave. Sms still going on and do reporting to them and i remember that I even shouted for help when ma vomited I felt damm paisae after that as there is passerby looking in. haha.. I tried to rest awhile but did not fall into deep sleep as I just afraid. The nurse even ask why I not asleep all this. haha. The night was not great at all. I scared to be in the hospital. Ended up at 7am I sms again and ask what time is vance coming over to take my shift and to my surprise they are on the way. went off at around 8am. Brought breakfast and went back to bath but then after bath, I ate breakfast, watch tv adn could not sleep till 11am. Slept till 4pm. haa. Wake up still tired so that day never go down to visit ma. Sunday went to visit her again. Monday she was discharge and at home seem to be like cny as there is people coming to visit her all this..haha.. Hope ma will recover well.
Currently, I having this illness. Which is headache. Had it since last thursday and up to date it is still pain. I was feeling damm sick on thursday night and monday morning. I went to work on monday but in office not well so I took half day and went home. yesterday rest at home and don't think of work everything is fine but when I think of work, the pain is there again. Am I overstress or what?
This will summarised what took place to me for the past 5 weeks.
Got to rest early too. =)