shake shake.
Things have been a bit rough lately. I'm just worried about my Dad, constantly scared that I'm going to get a call or come home and he won't be alive. And it doesn't help when my mom says "he's probably going to die soon"
I couldn't stand it last night and I called him on my way to Chris's and we just had this big talk and he said "I could die today or tomorrow, who knows" and I just can't stand it. I know it sounds bad but it would be easier if I just knew he would live or knew he would die and be in a better place. I hate seeing him suffer and be weak and not be able to drive his new car and help me fix my door knob.
He had his surgery today and they took out ONE ENTIRE LUNG and it was a 10 hour surgery, he's still non conscious but my mom had to see him and she took a picture. I just couldn't go, I'd bawl myself to oblivion...
I just want to hug him in my arms and protect him from everything...
It was nice to not have homework or school today. I have my French interview and I'm hoping it won't be that bad. I'm not TOOOO shabby for only starting to learn it 4 weeks ago.
Esha came back from Cali, which was apparently a bust. I'm just glad she's back her with me :)
And I'm just glad all normality is back with Chris and I. I hate when things get shitty, even if it's only 5 minutes.
I was supposed to have my consultation for my tattoo today but last night my mom told me she wouldn't pay for school anymore if I got it. I could test her word but school is more important right now than a tattoo. Plus when I talked to my dad he seemed proud of me and how much more grown up I am then kids my age :) I would hate to go and do something to change that. But then again, this is who I am and it's how I want to express myself LET MEEE :(
This crap is making me breakout and my skin has never looked like this, and it's such a cycle of being stressed it looks bad and it getting worse. Fuckkkk. I'm going to see my doctor to get recommended to a dermo. It's not SOO bad but I'd rather find out what I can do to keep it good.
Anddd Amanda and Aaron can't keep Samson, the puppy. I wish they could but I understand. So if anyone knows of someone looking for a dog let me know :)
Night, I'm crapped.
I couldn't stand it last night and I called him on my way to Chris's and we just had this big talk and he said "I could die today or tomorrow, who knows" and I just can't stand it. I know it sounds bad but it would be easier if I just knew he would live or knew he would die and be in a better place. I hate seeing him suffer and be weak and not be able to drive his new car and help me fix my door knob.
He had his surgery today and they took out ONE ENTIRE LUNG and it was a 10 hour surgery, he's still non conscious but my mom had to see him and she took a picture. I just couldn't go, I'd bawl myself to oblivion...
I just want to hug him in my arms and protect him from everything...
It was nice to not have homework or school today. I have my French interview and I'm hoping it won't be that bad. I'm not TOOOO shabby for only starting to learn it 4 weeks ago.
Esha came back from Cali, which was apparently a bust. I'm just glad she's back her with me :)
And I'm just glad all normality is back with Chris and I. I hate when things get shitty, even if it's only 5 minutes.
I was supposed to have my consultation for my tattoo today but last night my mom told me she wouldn't pay for school anymore if I got it. I could test her word but school is more important right now than a tattoo. Plus when I talked to my dad he seemed proud of me and how much more grown up I am then kids my age :) I would hate to go and do something to change that. But then again, this is who I am and it's how I want to express myself LET MEEE :(
This crap is making me breakout and my skin has never looked like this, and it's such a cycle of being stressed it looks bad and it getting worse. Fuckkkk. I'm going to see my doctor to get recommended to a dermo. It's not SOO bad but I'd rather find out what I can do to keep it good.
Anddd Amanda and Aaron can't keep Samson, the puppy. I wish they could but I understand. So if anyone knows of someone looking for a dog let me know :)
Night, I'm crapped.