Happy New Year!
Happy new year everybody! I'd like to start 2011 off with a list of ten bitches who I think are hot as all hell.
First list is in order. Second list is... not really in any specific order.
My Top 10 Favorite Hot Bitches
#1 Natalie Portman
Don't act like you didn't see this coming. She is one of the reasons I knew I was a complete and total homo.
If you haven't seen Black Swan yet, I highly recommend you do so. She is hot as fuck.
#2 Blake Lively
BL is the reason I started watching Gossip Girl and one of the only reasons I continue to watch it
She is ridiculously good looking.
#3 Olivia Wilde
I am NOT listing Olivia Wilde because of Tron Legacy.
I'll have all of you know that I've had a serious crush on this chick since she was
on The OC as Alex the lesbian chick who tries to turn Mischa Barton gay too.
Yeah whatever, anyway, LOVE THIS WOMAN ZOMG
#4 Scarlett Johansson
See Iron Man 2. Enough said.
Brunette SJ > Blonde SJ
#5 Bar Rafaeli
What can I say, I love Israeli models!
#6 Kate Beckinsale
Um...really? Need I say more? I don't think so.
This picture is especially for ridethespiralxx
#7 Alessandra Ambrosio
My favorite VS angel <3
#8 Christina Applegate
Watch The Sweetest Thing. You'll know what I'm talking about.
It's seriously one of my favorite movies....ever.
...esp because she's in it <3
#9 Gwen Stefani
When you see her live, it's like your jaw falls off onto the floor in awe of how hot this woman is.
Especially after having two kids. Holy shit!
Gavin Rossdale, you are a lucky man.
#10 Rachel McAdams
I've loved her since Mean Girls <3
Not the picture of choice though. Got tired.
Honorable mentions:
Ten Bitches I Wouldn't Touch With A 10-Foot Pole
#1 Megan Fox
WHAT THE FUCK DID YOU DO TO YOUR FUCKING FACE?!?!
You were hot before the plastic surgery!
Sure, you just needed a gag in your mouth to keep you from saying a bunch of stupid stuff, but I still would've boned you if given the opportunity.
Now I won't even look at you.
YOU DISGUST ME.
#2 Angelina Jolie
Your weird face is not your fault. But it's weird.
Like, your eyes are pretty, but when I scan down the rest of your face I want to hide under a rock.
Please stop acting. Go save the world by adopting all sorts of weird babies.
#3 Miley Cyrus
Where are people getting the idea that Miley Cyrus is "sexy"? I've seen sexier patches of grass.
Not every Disney kid can grow up and be a sexy motherfucker like Hillary Duff. Stop trying to be her!
She sounds like she has laryngitis 24/7. Take some medicine!
#4 The Kardashian Sisters
There is NOTHING COOL OR SEXY about any of these three women. NOTHING.
#5 Maggie Gylenhaal
Just because her brother is sexy as fuck does not mean she's gonna inherit the same genes.
She looks like a sad puppy. Sad puppies are not attractive. They're sad. And make me want to cry.
#6 Taylor Swift
WHERE ARE YOUR EYES?
She looks like a younger version of Renee Zellwegger, also not attractive.
#7 Sarah Jessica Parker
SJP just needs to get away. She's not pretty, she's not funny.
I would have loved Sex and the City just that much more if she were not in it at all.
Carrie should have been recast >:(
#8 Kristen Stewart
I think I just don't like K-Stew because a lot of people tell me I look like her, and I find it offensive because this girl always looks like she's high.
I am never high so I don't like it when people compare me to her.
She's either on a lot of drugs, or extremely tired or both.
So please get some sleep and do something to your hair.
#9 Keira Knightley
I challenge you to find boobs on this woman. There aren't any!
What am I supposed to look at? Her manly face? Nothx.
#10 Snooki
A fat, orange, scary thing from New Jersey. With a poof on her head that looks like it's ready to jump off and take over the world.
Unattractive and frightening. Def would not bone this bitch. She looks like Garfield.
First list is in order. Second list is... not really in any specific order.
My Top 10 Favorite Hot Bitches
#1 Natalie Portman
Don't act like you didn't see this coming. She is one of the reasons I knew I was a complete and total homo.
If you haven't seen Black Swan yet, I highly recommend you do so. She is hot as fuck.
#2 Blake Lively
BL is the reason I started watching Gossip Girl and one of the only reasons I continue to watch it
She is ridiculously good looking.
#3 Olivia Wilde
I am NOT listing Olivia Wilde because of Tron Legacy.
I'll have all of you know that I've had a serious crush on this chick since she was
on The OC as Alex the lesbian chick who tries to turn Mischa Barton gay too.
Yeah whatever, anyway, LOVE THIS WOMAN ZOMG
#4 Scarlett Johansson
See Iron Man 2. Enough said.
Brunette SJ > Blonde SJ
#5 Bar Rafaeli
What can I say, I love Israeli models!
#6 Kate Beckinsale
Um...really? Need I say more? I don't think so.
This picture is especially for ridethespiralxx
#7 Alessandra Ambrosio
My favorite VS angel <3
#8 Christina Applegate
Watch The Sweetest Thing. You'll know what I'm talking about.
It's seriously one of my favorite movies....ever.
...esp because she's in it <3
#9 Gwen Stefani
When you see her live, it's like your jaw falls off onto the floor in awe of how hot this woman is.
Especially after having two kids. Holy shit!
Gavin Rossdale, you are a lucky man.
#10 Rachel McAdams
I've loved her since Mean Girls <3
Not the picture of choice though. Got tired.
Honorable mentions:
- Jennifer Love Hewitt (when she was younger-- see Heartbreakers)
- Katy Perry
- Erin Daniels (I LOVE YOU DANA FAIRBANKS!)
- Charisma Carpenter
- Alyssa Milano
Ten Bitches I Wouldn't Touch With A 10-Foot Pole
#1 Megan Fox
WHAT THE FUCK DID YOU DO TO YOUR FUCKING FACE?!?!
You were hot before the plastic surgery!
Sure, you just needed a gag in your mouth to keep you from saying a bunch of stupid stuff, but I still would've boned you if given the opportunity.
Now I won't even look at you.
YOU DISGUST ME.
#2 Angelina Jolie
Your weird face is not your fault. But it's weird.
Like, your eyes are pretty, but when I scan down the rest of your face I want to hide under a rock.
Please stop acting. Go save the world by adopting all sorts of weird babies.
#3 Miley Cyrus
Where are people getting the idea that Miley Cyrus is "sexy"? I've seen sexier patches of grass.
Not every Disney kid can grow up and be a sexy motherfucker like Hillary Duff. Stop trying to be her!
She sounds like she has laryngitis 24/7. Take some medicine!
#4 The Kardashian Sisters
There is NOTHING COOL OR SEXY about any of these three women. NOTHING.
#5 Maggie Gylenhaal
Just because her brother is sexy as fuck does not mean she's gonna inherit the same genes.
She looks like a sad puppy. Sad puppies are not attractive. They're sad. And make me want to cry.
#6 Taylor Swift
WHERE ARE YOUR EYES?
She looks like a younger version of Renee Zellwegger, also not attractive.
#7 Sarah Jessica Parker
SJP just needs to get away. She's not pretty, she's not funny.
I would have loved Sex and the City just that much more if she were not in it at all.
Carrie should have been recast >:(
#8 Kristen Stewart
I think I just don't like K-Stew because a lot of people tell me I look like her, and I find it offensive because this girl always looks like she's high.
I am never high so I don't like it when people compare me to her.
She's either on a lot of drugs, or extremely tired or both.
So please get some sleep and do something to your hair.
#9 Keira Knightley
I challenge you to find boobs on this woman. There aren't any!
What am I supposed to look at? Her manly face? Nothx.
#10 Snooki
A fat, orange, scary thing from New Jersey. With a poof on her head that looks like it's ready to jump off and take over the world.
Unattractive and frightening. Def would not bone this bitch. She looks like Garfield.