All of you better read this because...I said so.
As we prepare for a new school year at college, I pause to reflect on the academic years of high school that have passed so quickly...Here I will list in chronological order, every class I have been a pupil in, starting in freshman year. I don't know what I will learn from this, but I thought if nothing else, it would be "nifty." If this takes up too much space on your friends page....go cry about it you insensitive asshole.
Freshman Year
World History: O dear Miss Uckasjdfncyk. This is the class that Melissa and I handed in the same essay, came to class everyday hoping she wouldn't find out and finally got caught. Also the class that we laughed in when Miss Uchkfsdscyick said "SHIT" only to find out later it was her response to finding out that the twin towers were attacked.
Spanish: Señora Convertino....what can I say, amazing woman with an amazing shoe and wig collection. This class made me want to cry, but was also somehow relieved to sit next to Mike Guarino who always managed to do worse than me on everything.
English: Mr. Young. nothing else to say. AMAZING guy. Class was AMAZINGLY easy.
Algebra: The Yapo-meister. WOW that lady was crazy. I got D's not much else to say.
Science: Ahhhh Benedetti. creep to the extreme. The most memorable part of this class was when he took a hose and sprayed down the walls.
SOPHMORE YEAR
US History: I thought I was going to piss myself when I found out I had Mr. Noyes...he scared the crap out of me. Then I had him...I had to give an oral presentation on a battle from WW1. A battle which according to the US government didn't exist. So a month worth of procrastinating, a fake map, and some cutting and pasting of battles together...Voila! I got an A and "truly taught" Mr. Noyes something about the Battle of Hedgerows...This begins my theory of being able to bullshit my way through life.
Spanish: This begins the two year reign of terror of none other than Señor Connolly. At least my names not Ed. And La Cruz del Diablo. This also starts my habit of never reading a spanish book again. EVER.
English: O god. Mrs. Wahl. She was the best. Easy, crazy, sweet. I loved when she talked about the "secret room" next to her emergency exit. I think she was stoned 9 times out of 10.
Geometry: Finally got A's in math with Mr. Murphy. I actually liked this class...not enough to do homework though.
Biology: Borderline...Mr. Decerbo. I really learned a lot from this class but felt like an idiot when the freshman would get 50 points higher than me on the tests. I think my pig's name was Herman? I would have killed myself in this class if it wasn't for Mary.
JUNIOR YEAR
Spanish: THRILLED to find out we had Connolly again. This year was marked by "en las computadoras" and "necesitan hablar para tres minutos en minimo" I hate that man to this day...
English: Scaramella and the poetry project from hell. The only thing I think I handed in on time in that class to be quite honest. I pulled an all nighter. I had to write my own poem which turned out to be a shitbucket. To my surprise he wrote on his evaluation: "amazing! think about contributing this to a literature magazine!" ha mothafuckin ha.
Civics/ Africa in the Middle East: =Noyes/ Jeynes. Not much to say about bleeding heart liberal Noyes, all he did was complain about Bush (yes!) but Jeynes...oooo sweet Mr. Jeynes. "What the hell did you do this morning? Roll out of bed? I ran 5 miles! 5 miles at 5 in the morning!" "The african name for goverment is kluchreijhgan. Now I'll spell that...government, g-o-v-e-r-n-m-e-n-t." "Q on T people, Q on T"
Chemistry: Mr. Rose...aka Bob Villa! I knew this would be an interesting class when we lit bubbles on fire the first day. Plus with Lindsay Dar, Alysa, and Jared Emerling in class...you can imagine. Basically if you pretended you cared about the class and your grade, he gave you a B or an A. Plus if you were friends with Mary at the end of the year...well he didn't mess with you because her mom would take him down.
Pre-Calc: What can I say, Mr. Testagrossa. "Now this....this isn't very nice" Even though he gave us the answers to like every quiz beforehand, I was back to getting D's. Oh well...the notorious homework black hole strikes again.
Art: I'll only mention this once even though I had Mr. Chi 3 years because nothing changed. He just hummed and sang and told everyone that their work was a masterpiece...and Andy Warhol would be proud.
SENIOR YEAR
English: Mrs Greenstone. Hamlet. Sarah changed classes to be with me. Eight People in my class. What else to say? Bullshit.But AWESOME bullshit.
Film as Lit: Same teacher but a better class. Watched some pretty awesome movies. And got to see Mrs. Greenstone wear two different shoes one day. awesome.
Spanish: straight A's all year baby. And I had darling in my class! Doc Marratolli. This was my favorite class. NIIIIIITTT!!!! JAIME! LA CATRINA! This man is my idol. I can't believe he took us to his house on a class trip and I have his cell phone number. Which I may add we used at my graduation party. Plus no one gave us better names!!
Economics: OMG. What can I say other than I never opened the book and it showed. I still got B's though and once again Noyes taught me that bull shit was the way to go. Thanks to Lindsay's mom we kept up our grades!!! The girls in the corner...whatta group.
Calc: I really felt bad for Mr. Murphy. I just didn't get calc. He must have thought I started using crack because I went from getting straight A's in his class 2 years ago to D's this year. But maybe doing homework would have helped. I still liked going to class with Mary and reading Cosmo when Murph was out.
So there you have it...High School in a nutshell. Of course there's the whole friend part outside of school that is so much more important... I just can't bring myself to list all that stuff because there's too much and it would be too sad and reminiscent. Sometimes the good stuff can't be written down. It loses it's meaning and value when you put it there in black and white. It's just a feeling you have that sometimes can't be described. Plus it's different for everyone. But a message to everyone that's reading this: I love you all and you have all helped make me the person who I am today. My friends mean the world to me and you guys always will. Even if we don't talk for 20 years after college, I would still feel as close to you as I do now. I hope that doesn't happen, but it's possible. I want us to be the awesome group of chicks that go out to bars together, and still makes time to go to Starbucks and the beach. I guess what I'm saying is, everyone says "we'll keep in touch" but I think what we have is far too valuable to lose. Ever. So as I depart (because I'm PMS-ing and feel like I'm on the brink of tears) I hope that I'll always be able to say, in the words of fitty cent..."yeah that's mah clique." And in the words of Carrie from Sex & the City..."Here. Swear. Swear on Chanel." that we'll always be friends. On a more serious note, I will close with another Sex & the City quote and stop my stupid babbling...
"It's good to know that the ones you love will always be in your heart. And if you're very lucky, only a plane ride away."