Let's start at the very beginning
It’s been an incredibly long time since I have even considered writing in this. I need to write more often as it assists me in composing my thoughts. Being someone that has a brain in constant motion, it’s a welcomed relief. Though this entry will not be too positive it will do some good. My stress levels have been tremendous lately. Often I find myself shutting down and just lying in a vegetative state on my bed. This being said though, I am never bored. I can be doing nothing physically at all for hours on end and never get bored. One of the perks of being an avid dreamer, I suppose.
Mid July we put our home on the market. Our very first home that has treated us so well. We have put a lot of sweat, blood and many, many tears into this old gal, but she’s been great nonetheless. Our house is on the higher end of price when it comes to my neighborhood. Some may argue is way too high but if you only knew the work that has went into this home, you’d understand. I’ll give you a synopsis:
- All New Appliances (that will stay.)
- Plumbing to city sewage beneath the house has been completely replaced.
- New carpeting placed in the basement after all of the old tile was ripped up.
- New trim work in all rooms.
- Full Bathroom was completely gutted and renovated. All new hardware, vanity, toilet, bathroom surround (ceramic tile), and new flooring.
- ½ Bath was completely renovated with all new hardware, vanity, toilet & flooring.
- The 1960’s kitchen was completely gutted (to the studs, people). Five, FIVE layers of that sticky tile were ripped up. New cabinets and light fixtures, ceramic tile for floors and counter tops. New textured ceiling installed. You know all the frills.
- When we moved in the garage had NO insulation, No working garage door opener, no cabinets. Work station built, cabinets installed, and walls completely insulated and dry-walled. Oh, garage door now operational.
- Bedrooms all have new trim and new light/fan fixtures.
- New and freshly painted front door and storm door.
- Crawl space completely insulated (was not insulated before.)
- Utility room completely redone. (new walls/ceiling/cabinets/shelves).
- Front lawn landscape completely redone. Tore out old sidewalk, made a new sandstone path.
I’m not even going to mention how much paint has been slung on those walls. Every. Single. One.
Within 3 weeks we had a seller’s contract with that offer that was damn near our asking price, and we were scrambling still to find our “forever family home.” The prospective buyers had an inspection done, and then gave us a massive laundry list of things that “would need to be done before closing.” Things such as “Paint exterior of home,” like the whole thing, and “install a new furnace,” and one of my favorites “caulk around all windows and doors.” You know, things that people should consider doing after they moved into a home they just purchased.
Personally, I find it absurd that you would ask someone to paint your house for you, before you bought it. Just sayin’.
What color would you like?
Let’s talk about our furnace. Their inspector said that the furnace did not work. Why he didn’t check to see if the pilot light was lit and that the gas was turned on to be ran to the furnace, is beyond me. It doesn’t get that chilly in July. The furnace works, just fine. Yes it may be ancient… but it works. Even during the harshest winter that was last year… she didn’t miss a beat. Why fix something that is not broke?
There were about 10 others things on the list. In the end it totaled around $10,000-$15,000 of “repairs” they were demanding of us. Later we found out that they were getting an FHA loan and that these “repairs” were required in order to finance. Though, we called their bluff on that. We bought the home with an FHA loan, without any things done on that list I mentioned, and the house was literally just taken out of “condemned” status.
In the end they decided to move on.
Than the second offer came in, and after some negotiating we agreed to a price. Lower than what my husband I wanted (much lower than the first accepted offer.) But this person is awesome and we want to work with them. I mean, its a friend. I want to help family and friends first. While they were getting their inspections and appraisals done… Josh and I found the home that we want. It’s wonderful. It’s beautiful. It’s where we want to be. Our offer was accepted, our inspections went great, and they have taken my earnest money deposit. Yet, it is contingent on us selling our home.
Then the buyer for our home wanted to renegotiate price, again. ~sigh~
Instead of going into great detail about my finances I will just say this: There is a certain number that we must hit when selling our house. Going lower would place our financial future in serious jeopardy and we wouldn’t be able to take on the home that we want.
So another deal has fallen through, and I am devastated. Now the house that we want and had a grasp on could possibly not happen unless we were to get a buyer soon. I was so excited to move. We want to begin a new chapter. Our next house is where Josh and I want to expand on our family, where we want to raise Ethan and Chloe and one day our future itty-bittys. I had even started packing in anticipation.
I’ve been obsessively checking my e-mail, just praying that someone has changed their mind.
Nope.
On top of all of that my best friend is getting married next month. As her Matron of Honor I want to throw her an awesome and intimate, Bachelorette party. It is immensely hard to say “We’re going to do it at my house!” when I have NO idea where the hell "my house" will be. It is also increasingly frustrating to try and make concrete plans, in said conditions, when I know (and am reminded of) that everyone is super busy and needs to know things now. This I understand completely. I have two children, I am a home owner, my husband and I both work full time jobs and I have a side business that I work as my second job. Trust me, I get it. I especially know how hard it is for finances with everyone including myself.
As always I’m trying to play Atlas. I want everyone to be happy, truly.
~sigh~
Work has been nothing short of ‘suck.’ Good people are leaving because the way things are rolling. I was also offered a great opportunity that is just… out of reach. It would put a lot of burden on my family, and distance between us and our kids. Which, I won't do. I love them dearly. Their home with their mom is already quite far, I don't want to go any further. So, really work has just been depressing.
Last, but not least (last stupid depressing thing for today, I promise!) is that in these times I miss the hell out of my cat. We had to put him down at the beginning of May because his kidneys were failing. I never understood how attached to Ashes I was. He would force me to snuggle him like a teddy bear in bed, every night. If I did not come to bed early enough for him, he’d come and annoy the hell out of me until I went to bed. Every now and than I get that stupid comment “Why don’t you get another cat?” It’s not that. All animals have different personalities. Yes, he was “just a cat,” but he was my family.
So there’s that. I’m done with ranting.
My pathetic Chihuahua still loves me though...
Okay, change of pace:
Three things that I am thankful for today:
1) I am thankful for my husband. This man is my rock. Nobody believes me when I say this, but we do not fight. Once in a great blue moon we will disagree about something. But, never have we raised our voices at each other, disrespected one another, or stayed “angry” for longer than necessary (like… two seconds I swear.) I had read something a few months back that “couples that do not argue do not last because they are not “passionate” about something, and therefore do not have anything interesting going on in their relationship.” (Horribly paraphrased, of course.) I shared that information with Josh, so now we just make up shit to argue about. For example: He was a real asshole the other day and left the toothpaste uncapped. So, I was mean and squeezed that bitch from the middle to get toothpaste out. ( I think that I am one of those people in general that squeezes the tube of toothpaste from the middle… perhaps that is not something I should admit about myself.) We had to keep the yelling down to a minimum though, Pico starts to shake when we're upset. That is an interesting thing though. How is it hard to conceive that a couple doesn't argue? Isn't the whole point of marriage is being with a person that's your best friend? Don't get me wrong. We've annoyed each other. We've been agitated by the actions of another and have bickered about miniscule things. But.. we've never fought.
But really, I can ask this man for anything. Even when i've annoyed him or managed to agitate him, he'll still do whatever I ask. He holds me when I am SOBBING over the stupidest shit possible, as in the color of my pen wasn’t blue enough, stupid.
I am a serious introvert, but he is the 1 person that I can be around all of the time and still feel like I am getting “my space.”
Yay Josh!
2) Bed. I am so thankful for my bed. I know that is absolutely ridiculous to say, but seriously. How good does it feel to come home from the most crap-tastic day, and just plop into your bed? When I do this I am often reminded of playing hide-and-go-seek as a kid. Remember how you had a “base?” The base that you would run your happy little ass off to because once you stepped a toe on that bitch you were “safe!” That's “bed” to me. Worries and life-stresses and all the other stupid stuff can’t touch me when I’m on base.
“SAFE!”
and now I will take this advice..
3) No matter how bad a day may get… there’s always tomorrow.
End. Rant.