perhaps the joy division was a bad idea?
so the paper got done. i don't know how. i guess how they all get done: the all-mysterious somehow.
there should be an enormous sense of relief here, maybe even a little back-patting, though not much. as i said, since i don't know exactly how i did it, i don't really feel like it was me that got it done. it just got done.
when the opponent expands, i contract.
when he contracts, i expand.
and when the opportunity presents itself, i do not hit.
it hits all by itself.
the tao of jeet kune do applied to homework? more like the art of paper-writing, without paper-writing.
in any case, r-o-l-a-i-d-s spells relief, and alls i got are these lousy TUMS. it could be because the paper was absolute crap, and i mean one of the WORST pieces of shit i've ever attached my name to. now i know what you're saying. you're saying "but lucy, isn't that what you say about EVERY paper you've just finished?" and i'd say, "yes, it is what i say about every paper i've just finished, and since my skills as a writer are plummeting faster than a fat kid in a wooden barrel down the falls of niagara, i am as such, always right."
but this paper was seriously bad. it had its moments in the beginning, but everything i wrote after my nap* was sheer shite. i was basically just writing fodder to fill in the spaces between long embedded quotes from Simon Reynolds' Generation Ecstasy. i linked some stuff to William Burroughs and Brion Gysin, and that was good, but then i started using these quotes from Hans Magnus Enzensberger because the word "manipulation" kept showing up and i thought it was appropriate. oops. turns out his text is way more political than i thought, and i was basically TOTALLY misusing it in my paper. but at that point the sun was up, i was finishing off my third pot of coffee in that 24-hr cycle, and had about 1.5 hours to get the sucka done. so i said fuck it. fuck him and fuck all these over-generalized, unsubstantiated claims that not only lack any textual evidence to support them, but are also probably WRONG and are the kind of half-assed attempts at writing that even a highschooler wouldn't be able to get away with. in the interest of self-preservation, i said, "fuck it all. this paper, like michael richards' career, is finished."
anyway. that could be one reason why i don't feel relieved. the other, and most likely, is that i still have a SHIT TON left to do for other classes. including some papers that i never wrote when they were actually due (cough cough) i'd say...somewhere in the range of 5 papers? within the next week. and the bitchy part is that russ gets here on the 20th, and we go up to my folks' place the next day for xmas. i want the days to rush by for that, while simultaneously wishing time could slow down so i can get all my shit done. of course, it doesn't matter whatever pace time chooses for the next 9 days, it still means i have to write my little ass off. and i. hate. writing.
(haven't you noticed?)
i know i just have to look at it as a reward. "get your shit done, and you get to see russ!" but the problem is that i KNOW december 20th will come anyway, regardless of whether or not my coursework is completed. and being the Laz-E Girl Incliner(TM) that i am...
but while death, taxes, and the 20th of december may be certain, me graduating is not. and THAT's what i need to remember. keep your eyes on the prize, lucy.
sigh.
how we doing, dick?
awesome.
*not an actual nap. at 4:30am i set my alarm for 6, and proceeded to let the damn thing go off until 8. it didn't help that i a) was too anxiety ridden to actually feel sleepy until about 5:59, and b) once i did pass out, i had a dream in which i didn't need to finish it before noon because the teacher had given me an extension.
there should be an enormous sense of relief here, maybe even a little back-patting, though not much. as i said, since i don't know exactly how i did it, i don't really feel like it was me that got it done. it just got done.
when the opponent expands, i contract.
when he contracts, i expand.
and when the opportunity presents itself, i do not hit.
it hits all by itself.
the tao of jeet kune do applied to homework? more like the art of paper-writing, without paper-writing.
in any case, r-o-l-a-i-d-s spells relief, and alls i got are these lousy TUMS. it could be because the paper was absolute crap, and i mean one of the WORST pieces of shit i've ever attached my name to. now i know what you're saying. you're saying "but lucy, isn't that what you say about EVERY paper you've just finished?" and i'd say, "yes, it is what i say about every paper i've just finished, and since my skills as a writer are plummeting faster than a fat kid in a wooden barrel down the falls of niagara, i am as such, always right."
but this paper was seriously bad. it had its moments in the beginning, but everything i wrote after my nap* was sheer shite. i was basically just writing fodder to fill in the spaces between long embedded quotes from Simon Reynolds' Generation Ecstasy. i linked some stuff to William Burroughs and Brion Gysin, and that was good, but then i started using these quotes from Hans Magnus Enzensberger because the word "manipulation" kept showing up and i thought it was appropriate. oops. turns out his text is way more political than i thought, and i was basically TOTALLY misusing it in my paper. but at that point the sun was up, i was finishing off my third pot of coffee in that 24-hr cycle, and had about 1.5 hours to get the sucka done. so i said fuck it. fuck him and fuck all these over-generalized, unsubstantiated claims that not only lack any textual evidence to support them, but are also probably WRONG and are the kind of half-assed attempts at writing that even a highschooler wouldn't be able to get away with. in the interest of self-preservation, i said, "fuck it all. this paper, like michael richards' career, is finished."
anyway. that could be one reason why i don't feel relieved. the other, and most likely, is that i still have a SHIT TON left to do for other classes. including some papers that i never wrote when they were actually due (cough cough) i'd say...somewhere in the range of 5 papers? within the next week. and the bitchy part is that russ gets here on the 20th, and we go up to my folks' place the next day for xmas. i want the days to rush by for that, while simultaneously wishing time could slow down so i can get all my shit done. of course, it doesn't matter whatever pace time chooses for the next 9 days, it still means i have to write my little ass off. and i. hate. writing.
(haven't you noticed?)
i know i just have to look at it as a reward. "get your shit done, and you get to see russ!" but the problem is that i KNOW december 20th will come anyway, regardless of whether or not my coursework is completed. and being the Laz-E Girl Incliner(TM) that i am...
but while death, taxes, and the 20th of december may be certain, me graduating is not. and THAT's what i need to remember. keep your eyes on the prize, lucy.
sigh.
how we doing, dick?
awesome.
*not an actual nap. at 4:30am i set my alarm for 6, and proceeded to let the damn thing go off until 8. it didn't help that i a) was too anxiety ridden to actually feel sleepy until about 5:59, and b) once i did pass out, i had a dream in which i didn't need to finish it before noon because the teacher had given me an extension.