Fic: Picking up the Pieces (SPN) Chapters Thirteen
Chapter Thirteen
Sam heard a knock on the back door, and that was alarming in itself, because Dean wouldn’t knock. Unless he couldn’t get back inside…
Sam hurried down the hall, stepping back in surprise when he opened the door. Cas was standing there, Dean’s body completely limp in his arms.
“The house is warded. I cannot enter.”
“Uh, Bobby,” Sam called, reached a hand out to touch his brother’s head.
“He’s just sleeping.”
“How did -?”
“He asked me to.”
Bobby’s loud footfalls came down the hallway behind him.
“What in sweet hell is this?”
Sam would have taken Dean from Cas’ arms but right now he looked peaceful there, and Dean was a heavy load to carry, in every sense of the phrase.
“Remove the warding so I can come inside,” Cas ordered, “Please.”
Sam and Bobby went around the house scratching marks in the angel warding symbols beneath the paintings, until they all had been disabled. Cas carried Dean into the house, and out of the rain.
Sam and Bobby stood and watched as Cas lay him gently on the bed.
“What’s wrong with him?”
“He is sleeping.”
“That’s it? He’s sleeping?” Sam raised his voice, but Dean didn’t stir.
“He prayed to me. I came.”
Bobby snorted, “Gee, ain’t you a giver.”
“Dean is very disturbed.”
Sam laughed manically, “You think we don’t know that?”
“No… you don’t.”
Cas looked back down at Dean and closed his eyes, placing a hand on his head.
“I pulled him out of hell. Hell, Sam.”
“Cas, what’re you… what did you do?”
“He’s peaceful now,” he looked down at him again.
“How -? What?”
“He wouldn’t sleep because of the nightmares… I took them away.”
Sam and Bobby looked at each other.
“You took them away?” Sam asked.
“Permanently?” Bobby added.
Cas looked somber, “No, unfortunately. But for now, he will sleep peacefully.”
“Just for now?”
“Until he is ready to wake,” Cas sat down in the chair by Dean’s bed, “I will remain with him.”
“Cas… forgive me if I don’t completely understand what’s happening,” Sam pinched the bridge of his nose.
“Dean’s soul has been to hell. Living through the horror of that, and carrying that every day is an almost impossible task.”
“Yeah,” Bobby nodded, “Then where the hell were you?”
“I was right here,” Cas met Bobby’s eyes, “But I could not -“
“Cas,” Sam sighed, “I don't want to hear your excuses. I don’t want to hear it.”
“I’m sorry,” he bit, “But tonight Dean called to me, and I left my station. I defied orders, and I came. I’m doing this for Dean.”
“And we’re grateful,” Sam said softly, “But it’s too little, too late.”
“Sam… there are still tasks that heaven needs Dean to complete. The apocalypse is upon us,” he looked at Dean’s sleeping form, “He has to stop it.”
Sam felt tears well in his eyes, “Then save him.”
Cas looked pained, face screwed up in anguish, close to tears that Sam didn’t even think he was capable of, “In time.”
“Son, you’re lucky if I don’t slice my hand open and slam your ass back to the big top upstairs. You’re staying because Dean needs you right now. That’s it,” Bobby grunted, “When he wakes up, you’re gone, if I have to recarve those wardings myself.”
“We will protect him. We need him.”
“I don’t care! You’re using him like a friggen weapon!” Bobby boomed, “He’s a human being!”
“And you can save him,” Sam added, “but you won’t. So as far as I’m concerned you’re not welcome in my home.”
“Dean requested my assistance. I will stay with him until he is ready to wake.”
Sam looked at his brother’s face. Dead to the world. Peaceful.
“Fine,” he conceded.
Sam ushered Bobby out of the room. The older hunter stopped in the hall and turned to face him.
“Sam, are you sure about this?”
Sam looked over his shoulder into Dean’s room, Cas had a hand on Dean’s forehead.
“I’ll watch over you,” he heard the angel mutter.
Sam let out a breath, feeling overly emotional, “It’s okay, Bobby. It’ll be okay.”
…
The next morning Sam entered Dean’s room and found the scene much as he’d left it the night before. Dean was still out to it, Cas sitting on the edge of the chair, hands clasped in front of him, leaning over, staring intently at Dean. It felt like nothing had changed, except now the sun was up.
“Good morning, Sam,” Cas muttered, “Did you sleep well?”
Sam rubbed a hand through his hair, “I slept okay. How’s Dean doing?”
“He is not in any distress.”
Sam checked his watch and yawned.
“He needs medicine soon.”
Cas furrowed his brow, “He is not ready to wake yet.”
“Well, he has to have the medicine, Cas. These things are kind of time sensitive.”
Cas seemed to understand, “Very well. He will take the medicine then continue to sleep. He will have no knowledge of waking.”
“Is this really the best thing for Dean?” Sam asked.
“His body needs rest…”
“It’s more than that though, right? It’s worse than that,” Sam questioned, the anger from the previous night drained away. Now he just felt powerless.
“His soul needs rest also… His pain… it’s so loud it pierces the veil into heaven.”
Sam felt like the air was sucked out of his lungs, “What do you mean?”
“The angels can hear him scream.”
Sam welled up, chest hitching with stuttering breaths, “Can you help him?”
“Even if I were to heal his body… I don’t know how to heal this. I can’t fix your brother, Sam.”
Sam swallowed, blinked back the tears.
“I’m going to make breakfast.”
…
“Cas?”
Dean blinked several times. The room was bright. He felt dry, sluggish. An angel shaped figure sat to his right. Trench coat. Blue tie.
“Hello, Dean.”
Dean coughed lightly, uncovered, unable to lift his arms.
“What happened?”
“You’ve been sleeping.”
“I figured,” Dean let his eyes slip closed, “Did you?”
“I did what you asked me to do. I let you rest.”
Dean cleared his throat, “Thank you.”
“You’re welcome.”
“…Cas?”
“Yes, Dean.”
“Why did you leave? Why didn’t you help me?” he opened his eyes and tried to see Cas’ face, tried to force his eyes to focus.
“Because I want better for you, Dean.”
Dean strained to lift his head, “Huh?”
“I thought if you could… get out. You and Sam. You’d be spared from all this. This war… this… the apocalypse.”
“I thought -“
“I did not lie to you, Dean. I was under orders. We all were. But even though the others had different reasons, I saw it as a way out for you. This, here, what you and Sam have… it’s better. I see that now.”
“You don’t see anything,” Dean squeezed his eyes shut and relaxed back against the pillow.
“I do not understand.”
“Hunting helps me. Without it…” Dean trailed off.
“I’m sorry, Dean. Everything will happen in time.”
When Dean opened his eyes again Cas was gone.
…
Sam had got up early that morning. When the sun rose at 4am he was up, cleaning up the house, doing laundry. Bobby was still asleep, and probably had only gone to bed a few hours before that. So Sam tried to keep himself busy, ignore the fact that his brother had been unconscious for 34 hours, and although Cas had allowed him to wake for small moments at a time, Dean was in a zombie like state, like he was operating on autopilot, and then he would go back to sleep. Cas said he would never remember even being awake, that his body was in such a deep state of rest he would have no recollection. It was a mercy to be honest. Dean was in so much pain all the time, Sam often wished he could take it all away, even for just a moment… this was as close as he was going to get right now.
When he went in at 5am to check on Dean he found his brother alone. Cas had gone. And Dean was awake.
“Dean?” Sam asked, tongue dry with anxiety.
Dean smiled, puffy eyes wrinkling, “Hey, Sammy.”
“Dean, oh my god…” Sam sat on his brother’s bed and put a hand on his shin. “You’ve been asleep for a while.”
“Yeah.”
Dean’s voice was weak and croaky, but Sam hadn’t heard it in over a day so to him it was the most beautiful music.
“Did Cas -?”
“He left. Big surprise there,” Dean brought a hand up to rub his forehead with the back of his wrist.
“How are you feeling, man?” Sam asked, brow furrowing.
“I feel okay… rested, I guess.”
“Well, thank god for that,” Sam sighed, smiling.
“Yeah… my back’s a little sore,” Dean winced as he shifted.
“Okay, I’ll go and get you something…”
A weak hand gripped Sam’s wrist and he stopped getting up.
“What?”
“Just… it’s okay,” Dean’s mouth moved as he searched for an excuse. Sam could see what he was trying to say ‘don’t leave me’, ‘please stay’, but he was too man to say it out loud.
“Alright,” Sam sat back down, “So, you spoke to Cas?”
“Briefly. Like trying to hold a conversation with a cheese sandwich.”
Both Sam and Dean laughed. Dean ended up coughing.
“You need to drink some water, dude,” Sam said, after listening to his brother clear his throat for a good ten seconds.
“A beer would be good.”
Sam’s heart leapt into his throat.
Dean smirked, “I’m kidding, man… I mean… I still want it. I don’t think I’ll ever not want it… but I know I can’t. And I won’t, okay? I promise I won’t. I won’t do that to you.”
Sam smiled, decided to avoid telling his brother he should be doing it for himself, “Thanks.”
“Don’t mention it,” Dean winced again, “Argh, I gotta get up.”
“Are you sure? Maybe we should take it slow.”
“Sam, I’ve been in this bed way too long. I need to get up.”
Dean took a moment before he started moving, like he was gathering his energy, but then when he started, it was as if he’d never been sick, or injured.
“Quit hovering, dude. I’m alright,” he said, with fondness in his voice. Usually he would be aggressive or annoyed, maybe the sleep had done him good.
“Okay, well, you hungry? I got bacon and eggs.”
“Oh god, yes,” Dean rubbed his stomach and smiled, “Thought I wasn’t allowed nice food?”
“Actually, man, this diet you’re on is protein rich, so you actually just have to eat more meat.”
“Oh, Sammy, could this day get any better?”
…
Sam heard a knock on the back door, and that was alarming in itself, because Dean wouldn’t knock. Unless he couldn’t get back inside…
Sam hurried down the hall, stepping back in surprise when he opened the door. Cas was standing there, Dean’s body completely limp in his arms.
“The house is warded. I cannot enter.”
“Uh, Bobby,” Sam called, reached a hand out to touch his brother’s head.
“He’s just sleeping.”
“How did -?”
“He asked me to.”
Bobby’s loud footfalls came down the hallway behind him.
“What in sweet hell is this?”
Sam would have taken Dean from Cas’ arms but right now he looked peaceful there, and Dean was a heavy load to carry, in every sense of the phrase.
“Remove the warding so I can come inside,” Cas ordered, “Please.”
Sam and Bobby went around the house scratching marks in the angel warding symbols beneath the paintings, until they all had been disabled. Cas carried Dean into the house, and out of the rain.
Sam and Bobby stood and watched as Cas lay him gently on the bed.
“What’s wrong with him?”
“He is sleeping.”
“That’s it? He’s sleeping?” Sam raised his voice, but Dean didn’t stir.
“He prayed to me. I came.”
Bobby snorted, “Gee, ain’t you a giver.”
“Dean is very disturbed.”
Sam laughed manically, “You think we don’t know that?”
“No… you don’t.”
Cas looked back down at Dean and closed his eyes, placing a hand on his head.
“I pulled him out of hell. Hell, Sam.”
“Cas, what’re you… what did you do?”
“He’s peaceful now,” he looked down at him again.
“How -? What?”
“He wouldn’t sleep because of the nightmares… I took them away.”
Sam and Bobby looked at each other.
“You took them away?” Sam asked.
“Permanently?” Bobby added.
Cas looked somber, “No, unfortunately. But for now, he will sleep peacefully.”
“Just for now?”
“Until he is ready to wake,” Cas sat down in the chair by Dean’s bed, “I will remain with him.”
“Cas… forgive me if I don’t completely understand what’s happening,” Sam pinched the bridge of his nose.
“Dean’s soul has been to hell. Living through the horror of that, and carrying that every day is an almost impossible task.”
“Yeah,” Bobby nodded, “Then where the hell were you?”
“I was right here,” Cas met Bobby’s eyes, “But I could not -“
“Cas,” Sam sighed, “I don't want to hear your excuses. I don’t want to hear it.”
“I’m sorry,” he bit, “But tonight Dean called to me, and I left my station. I defied orders, and I came. I’m doing this for Dean.”
“And we’re grateful,” Sam said softly, “But it’s too little, too late.”
“Sam… there are still tasks that heaven needs Dean to complete. The apocalypse is upon us,” he looked at Dean’s sleeping form, “He has to stop it.”
Sam felt tears well in his eyes, “Then save him.”
Cas looked pained, face screwed up in anguish, close to tears that Sam didn’t even think he was capable of, “In time.”
“Son, you’re lucky if I don’t slice my hand open and slam your ass back to the big top upstairs. You’re staying because Dean needs you right now. That’s it,” Bobby grunted, “When he wakes up, you’re gone, if I have to recarve those wardings myself.”
“We will protect him. We need him.”
“I don’t care! You’re using him like a friggen weapon!” Bobby boomed, “He’s a human being!”
“And you can save him,” Sam added, “but you won’t. So as far as I’m concerned you’re not welcome in my home.”
“Dean requested my assistance. I will stay with him until he is ready to wake.”
Sam looked at his brother’s face. Dead to the world. Peaceful.
“Fine,” he conceded.
Sam ushered Bobby out of the room. The older hunter stopped in the hall and turned to face him.
“Sam, are you sure about this?”
Sam looked over his shoulder into Dean’s room, Cas had a hand on Dean’s forehead.
“I’ll watch over you,” he heard the angel mutter.
Sam let out a breath, feeling overly emotional, “It’s okay, Bobby. It’ll be okay.”
…
The next morning Sam entered Dean’s room and found the scene much as he’d left it the night before. Dean was still out to it, Cas sitting on the edge of the chair, hands clasped in front of him, leaning over, staring intently at Dean. It felt like nothing had changed, except now the sun was up.
“Good morning, Sam,” Cas muttered, “Did you sleep well?”
Sam rubbed a hand through his hair, “I slept okay. How’s Dean doing?”
“He is not in any distress.”
Sam checked his watch and yawned.
“He needs medicine soon.”
Cas furrowed his brow, “He is not ready to wake yet.”
“Well, he has to have the medicine, Cas. These things are kind of time sensitive.”
Cas seemed to understand, “Very well. He will take the medicine then continue to sleep. He will have no knowledge of waking.”
“Is this really the best thing for Dean?” Sam asked.
“His body needs rest…”
“It’s more than that though, right? It’s worse than that,” Sam questioned, the anger from the previous night drained away. Now he just felt powerless.
“His soul needs rest also… His pain… it’s so loud it pierces the veil into heaven.”
Sam felt like the air was sucked out of his lungs, “What do you mean?”
“The angels can hear him scream.”
Sam welled up, chest hitching with stuttering breaths, “Can you help him?”
“Even if I were to heal his body… I don’t know how to heal this. I can’t fix your brother, Sam.”
Sam swallowed, blinked back the tears.
“I’m going to make breakfast.”
…
“Cas?”
Dean blinked several times. The room was bright. He felt dry, sluggish. An angel shaped figure sat to his right. Trench coat. Blue tie.
“Hello, Dean.”
Dean coughed lightly, uncovered, unable to lift his arms.
“What happened?”
“You’ve been sleeping.”
“I figured,” Dean let his eyes slip closed, “Did you?”
“I did what you asked me to do. I let you rest.”
Dean cleared his throat, “Thank you.”
“You’re welcome.”
“…Cas?”
“Yes, Dean.”
“Why did you leave? Why didn’t you help me?” he opened his eyes and tried to see Cas’ face, tried to force his eyes to focus.
“Because I want better for you, Dean.”
Dean strained to lift his head, “Huh?”
“I thought if you could… get out. You and Sam. You’d be spared from all this. This war… this… the apocalypse.”
“I thought -“
“I did not lie to you, Dean. I was under orders. We all were. But even though the others had different reasons, I saw it as a way out for you. This, here, what you and Sam have… it’s better. I see that now.”
“You don’t see anything,” Dean squeezed his eyes shut and relaxed back against the pillow.
“I do not understand.”
“Hunting helps me. Without it…” Dean trailed off.
“I’m sorry, Dean. Everything will happen in time.”
When Dean opened his eyes again Cas was gone.
…
Sam had got up early that morning. When the sun rose at 4am he was up, cleaning up the house, doing laundry. Bobby was still asleep, and probably had only gone to bed a few hours before that. So Sam tried to keep himself busy, ignore the fact that his brother had been unconscious for 34 hours, and although Cas had allowed him to wake for small moments at a time, Dean was in a zombie like state, like he was operating on autopilot, and then he would go back to sleep. Cas said he would never remember even being awake, that his body was in such a deep state of rest he would have no recollection. It was a mercy to be honest. Dean was in so much pain all the time, Sam often wished he could take it all away, even for just a moment… this was as close as he was going to get right now.
When he went in at 5am to check on Dean he found his brother alone. Cas had gone. And Dean was awake.
“Dean?” Sam asked, tongue dry with anxiety.
Dean smiled, puffy eyes wrinkling, “Hey, Sammy.”
“Dean, oh my god…” Sam sat on his brother’s bed and put a hand on his shin. “You’ve been asleep for a while.”
“Yeah.”
Dean’s voice was weak and croaky, but Sam hadn’t heard it in over a day so to him it was the most beautiful music.
“Did Cas -?”
“He left. Big surprise there,” Dean brought a hand up to rub his forehead with the back of his wrist.
“How are you feeling, man?” Sam asked, brow furrowing.
“I feel okay… rested, I guess.”
“Well, thank god for that,” Sam sighed, smiling.
“Yeah… my back’s a little sore,” Dean winced as he shifted.
“Okay, I’ll go and get you something…”
A weak hand gripped Sam’s wrist and he stopped getting up.
“What?”
“Just… it’s okay,” Dean’s mouth moved as he searched for an excuse. Sam could see what he was trying to say ‘don’t leave me’, ‘please stay’, but he was too man to say it out loud.
“Alright,” Sam sat back down, “So, you spoke to Cas?”
“Briefly. Like trying to hold a conversation with a cheese sandwich.”
Both Sam and Dean laughed. Dean ended up coughing.
“You need to drink some water, dude,” Sam said, after listening to his brother clear his throat for a good ten seconds.
“A beer would be good.”
Sam’s heart leapt into his throat.
Dean smirked, “I’m kidding, man… I mean… I still want it. I don’t think I’ll ever not want it… but I know I can’t. And I won’t, okay? I promise I won’t. I won’t do that to you.”
Sam smiled, decided to avoid telling his brother he should be doing it for himself, “Thanks.”
“Don’t mention it,” Dean winced again, “Argh, I gotta get up.”
“Are you sure? Maybe we should take it slow.”
“Sam, I’ve been in this bed way too long. I need to get up.”
Dean took a moment before he started moving, like he was gathering his energy, but then when he started, it was as if he’d never been sick, or injured.
“Quit hovering, dude. I’m alright,” he said, with fondness in his voice. Usually he would be aggressive or annoyed, maybe the sleep had done him good.
“Okay, well, you hungry? I got bacon and eggs.”
“Oh god, yes,” Dean rubbed his stomach and smiled, “Thought I wasn’t allowed nice food?”
“Actually, man, this diet you’re on is protein rich, so you actually just have to eat more meat.”
“Oh, Sammy, could this day get any better?”
…