(no subject)
today..........i am depressed.
the flying seahorse girl is definitely locked up in a closet somewhere today.
sometimes i sit and reflect and i realize that whole "You are here" thing. This is the present, this is the reality, this is your life, Dr. Jones. i would be lying if i said i was content with more than 70% of my life, but i suppose all in all, 70 is a decent percentage. It just seems that the other 30% is sucking the life from the rest of it..... it focuses all the attention on the negative (yes i am definitely pondering this negative focus thing) and then all the positive gets lost. Why do we humans remember more of the negative than anything else? why does it overshadow all the good things in life? i will never understand it.
Perhaps it has to do with pain. i have talked to my kids at work a lot about pain and hurt, and i have this rather classic lecture i give (usually to rolling eyes, but they eventually come around) about how when something hurts, you could say it "smarts". Its an old expression, i know, but i usually segue into the idea that when you are an infant, you learn not to touch the hot stove (if its even accessible) because it hurts, you learn and you don't touch it again. The pain has "smarted" you. You will always remember not to touch the stove. i once was vacuuming my room as a teenager and i grabbed the cord to move it around and the coating was frayed and i got the shock of a lifetime. To this day i am always careful to inspect vacuum cords. And i suppose that emotional pain is no different. We can usually view emotional pain as negative. it hurts. So i suppose it is naturally easier to remember negative and pain than it is to recall positive because i suppose there isnt an inherent learning purpose in positivity. As morose as that sounds, i think it is true. Sure, happiness and love continues the species. Brotherhood is important from a scientific standpoint. But i suppose in the overall scheme of nature, pain and harm are more important in our "survival recall" as it were, because it prevents us from dying and killing each other off. So maybe that is why negative always seems stronger or more memorable that the positive.
i wish i could hold on to those as strongly. i wish others could hold onto those so strongly. But perhaps i do without even knowing it because maybe thats the underlying force that keeps us all going. Maybe negative just tricks me into thinking its stronger. i don't know.
blah. i want this day to get better. And i want tomorrow to make it all go away.
the flying seahorse girl is definitely locked up in a closet somewhere today.
sometimes i sit and reflect and i realize that whole "You are here" thing. This is the present, this is the reality, this is your life, Dr. Jones. i would be lying if i said i was content with more than 70% of my life, but i suppose all in all, 70 is a decent percentage. It just seems that the other 30% is sucking the life from the rest of it..... it focuses all the attention on the negative (yes i am definitely pondering this negative focus thing) and then all the positive gets lost. Why do we humans remember more of the negative than anything else? why does it overshadow all the good things in life? i will never understand it.
Perhaps it has to do with pain. i have talked to my kids at work a lot about pain and hurt, and i have this rather classic lecture i give (usually to rolling eyes, but they eventually come around) about how when something hurts, you could say it "smarts". Its an old expression, i know, but i usually segue into the idea that when you are an infant, you learn not to touch the hot stove (if its even accessible) because it hurts, you learn and you don't touch it again. The pain has "smarted" you. You will always remember not to touch the stove. i once was vacuuming my room as a teenager and i grabbed the cord to move it around and the coating was frayed and i got the shock of a lifetime. To this day i am always careful to inspect vacuum cords. And i suppose that emotional pain is no different. We can usually view emotional pain as negative. it hurts. So i suppose it is naturally easier to remember negative and pain than it is to recall positive because i suppose there isnt an inherent learning purpose in positivity. As morose as that sounds, i think it is true. Sure, happiness and love continues the species. Brotherhood is important from a scientific standpoint. But i suppose in the overall scheme of nature, pain and harm are more important in our "survival recall" as it were, because it prevents us from dying and killing each other off. So maybe that is why negative always seems stronger or more memorable that the positive.
i wish i could hold on to those as strongly. i wish others could hold onto those so strongly. But perhaps i do without even knowing it because maybe thats the underlying force that keeps us all going. Maybe negative just tricks me into thinking its stronger. i don't know.
blah. i want this day to get better. And i want tomorrow to make it all go away.