Are we feeling a little ranty today? - Yeah, fuck you, too.
Before I throw my TV out of the window I'll rather type my laptop through the desk. So, I just watched a documentation about the low birth rate in Germany. Actually every woman should at least get 2.1 children, German women only get 1.4 (which gives a nice touch the arguments of some assholes who complain that all the immigrants "flood" this country).
So, that this happens that it might cause problems - I accept that. What I don't accept is the way the media, politicians and the defenders of this nation (i.e. women who gave birth to more than 2 children) deal with this!
In short:
Women, who choose not to get children, are portrayed as self-centered, irresponsible and careless. Women, who choose to get children, are portrayed as perfect citizens, willing to self-sacrifice themselves for their country.
Men are... mentioned. Every now and then. Mostly in a way of "it would be so nice of you if you could wash the dishes and maybe play with your child sometimes..."
I don't want to have children (I also smoke and drink and sleep (non-exclusively) with women. But I don't have a car - that has to get me some bonus points, doesn't it?). I know, I know, I'm only 19 and people are constantly telling me all the time that at some point of my life I will feel that desire. I don't believe that, but I can't see into the future, so maybe I will change. Nothings impossible. But let's just say, for argument's sake, that I stick to that decision. So, that makes me self-centered, careless and irresponsible, doesn't it?
No.
That is, yes, maybe I am all that, but a) women with children can be that as well (I worked in a youth hostel. There's nothing more self-centered than mother with babies!) and b) I didn't make the decision not to have children because I yearn for a career that doesn't leave me time for the education of kids.
1.
I. Just. Don't. LIKE. Children. Two minutes with a baby/small child that does something other than sleeping and I'm so annoyed my teeth hurt!
My cousin had her first baby last month. I kinda liked him, he slept all the way through the time I was present. But his parents looked like hell. So, he might not be always sleeping. However, everyone in my family was wooing and petting and holding and whatnotelse, and... I don't know. I thought he was kinda ugly. He drooled and his face looked kind of... deformed. Don't get me wrong, I didn't hate him or anything, I just didn't feel any desire to come close to him.
I just think I'm lacking something, mother instinct or whatever you wanna call it. And, yes, maybe one day a therapists finds out that I'm merly surpressing it, but until such time I just stay away from babies. Better for me, better for them.
2.
My career? Sure, it would be nice to have one, but I don't yearn for fame or big money (I'm way too lazy for that) I just want a job I like. That's all. Besides, my mother was 26 when she gave birth to me. She put a break to her studies for one year, then wrote her final paper at home and graduated. She worked part-time for the first years, then full-time. Until today. It was very exhausting for her, but she made it. She got lucky with her family helping her and with finding a place in a Kindergarten for me very quickly. So, was raised with the example of a working mother and father. I know it's possible.
3.
Dear mothers,
do you really want to tell me that you got children, because you thought it was necessary for the stability of the country? Because in fifty years we need them to pay our pensions? Come on!
You did it because you wanted them! You wanted to be happy, to have a family! You did it for yourself, not for society! And that's okay. It's what we all do.
But please, don't act like you are a better than me, just because your desires accidentally happen to coincede with the needs of our society and mine do not do. That's hypocrisy.
4.
Why do they always say: "Women get not enough children"? Why don't they say: "Men don't procreate anough children (and care for them)"?
Sure, there are children conceived by accident, there are women who say they they don't want a man to go with their child. Okay. But the greatest amount of children stems from relationships, which means that both must be willing to raise a child. So, what if she wants children, but he doesn't? What if she wants a child, but only under the precondition that he stays at home with it for a while too - and he doesn't accept that?
5.
Mrs. von der Leyen, our minister for family affairs (another thing, why do tose ministers always have to be female? Since 1969 there has been one male minister. One the other hand, there has never been a female minister of foreign affairs. Hmmm...) has seven children, worked as a physician and is now a successful politician. And very smug about all that.
Yeah, Mrs. von der Leyen, your husband is professor for medicine, your father, who was born to a rich family, was a very successful politician and is now member of the supervisory board of a big company - it must have been so hard for you to pursue your career and get so many children...
Well, not everyone can afford seven nannies.
6.
Those women, who pursue a career, those irresponsible, self-centered women pay for your healthcare, kindergartens and paid paternal leave!
7.
There are no laws forcing women to give birth. Yet. But all of the above puts women under pressure. Now lets just imagine the situation were reversed. There are too many children born. In China, they still have the one-child-policy, which is perceived as a violation of human rights - and it is one, undoubtedly. But I'm not even talking about law, just imagine all the childless, working women would suddenly ask all the mothers why they have to be so egoistic and irresponsible? The mothers would be outraged: Children can't be just seen as a problem, this is restricting their right to procreate, its inhuman...
But isn't it also inhuman to violate the right not to procreate? To see children just as valuable resource for our economy and social system?
I'm gonna puke.
So, that this happens that it might cause problems - I accept that. What I don't accept is the way the media, politicians and the defenders of this nation (i.e. women who gave birth to more than 2 children) deal with this!
In short:
Women, who choose not to get children, are portrayed as self-centered, irresponsible and careless. Women, who choose to get children, are portrayed as perfect citizens, willing to self-sacrifice themselves for their country.
Men are... mentioned. Every now and then. Mostly in a way of "it would be so nice of you if you could wash the dishes and maybe play with your child sometimes..."
I don't want to have children (I also smoke and drink and sleep (non-exclusively) with women. But I don't have a car - that has to get me some bonus points, doesn't it?). I know, I know, I'm only 19 and people are constantly telling me all the time that at some point of my life I will feel that desire. I don't believe that, but I can't see into the future, so maybe I will change. Nothings impossible. But let's just say, for argument's sake, that I stick to that decision. So, that makes me self-centered, careless and irresponsible, doesn't it?
No.
That is, yes, maybe I am all that, but a) women with children can be that as well (I worked in a youth hostel. There's nothing more self-centered than mother with babies!) and b) I didn't make the decision not to have children because I yearn for a career that doesn't leave me time for the education of kids.
1.
I. Just. Don't. LIKE. Children. Two minutes with a baby/small child that does something other than sleeping and I'm so annoyed my teeth hurt!
My cousin had her first baby last month. I kinda liked him, he slept all the way through the time I was present. But his parents looked like hell. So, he might not be always sleeping. However, everyone in my family was wooing and petting and holding and whatnotelse, and... I don't know. I thought he was kinda ugly. He drooled and his face looked kind of... deformed. Don't get me wrong, I didn't hate him or anything, I just didn't feel any desire to come close to him.
I just think I'm lacking something, mother instinct or whatever you wanna call it. And, yes, maybe one day a therapists finds out that I'm merly surpressing it, but until such time I just stay away from babies. Better for me, better for them.
2.
My career? Sure, it would be nice to have one, but I don't yearn for fame or big money (I'm way too lazy for that) I just want a job I like. That's all. Besides, my mother was 26 when she gave birth to me. She put a break to her studies for one year, then wrote her final paper at home and graduated. She worked part-time for the first years, then full-time. Until today. It was very exhausting for her, but she made it. She got lucky with her family helping her and with finding a place in a Kindergarten for me very quickly. So, was raised with the example of a working mother and father. I know it's possible.
3.
Dear mothers,
do you really want to tell me that you got children, because you thought it was necessary for the stability of the country? Because in fifty years we need them to pay our pensions? Come on!
You did it because you wanted them! You wanted to be happy, to have a family! You did it for yourself, not for society! And that's okay. It's what we all do.
But please, don't act like you are a better than me, just because your desires accidentally happen to coincede with the needs of our society and mine do not do. That's hypocrisy.
4.
Why do they always say: "Women get not enough children"? Why don't they say: "Men don't procreate anough children (and care for them)"?
Sure, there are children conceived by accident, there are women who say they they don't want a man to go with their child. Okay. But the greatest amount of children stems from relationships, which means that both must be willing to raise a child. So, what if she wants children, but he doesn't? What if she wants a child, but only under the precondition that he stays at home with it for a while too - and he doesn't accept that?
5.
Mrs. von der Leyen, our minister for family affairs (another thing, why do tose ministers always have to be female? Since 1969 there has been one male minister. One the other hand, there has never been a female minister of foreign affairs. Hmmm...) has seven children, worked as a physician and is now a successful politician. And very smug about all that.
Yeah, Mrs. von der Leyen, your husband is professor for medicine, your father, who was born to a rich family, was a very successful politician and is now member of the supervisory board of a big company - it must have been so hard for you to pursue your career and get so many children...
Well, not everyone can afford seven nannies.
6.
Those women, who pursue a career, those irresponsible, self-centered women pay for your healthcare, kindergartens and paid paternal leave!
7.
There are no laws forcing women to give birth. Yet. But all of the above puts women under pressure. Now lets just imagine the situation were reversed. There are too many children born. In China, they still have the one-child-policy, which is perceived as a violation of human rights - and it is one, undoubtedly. But I'm not even talking about law, just imagine all the childless, working women would suddenly ask all the mothers why they have to be so egoistic and irresponsible? The mothers would be outraged: Children can't be just seen as a problem, this is restricting their right to procreate, its inhuman...
But isn't it also inhuman to violate the right not to procreate? To see children just as valuable resource for our economy and social system?
I'm gonna puke.