o i have a headache ...
so per usual i waited it out and moe did email at 7am this morning. he said "becuz everyone deserves to have a good christmas n stuff" yeah so noble of him. i felt like saying than why are you bothering me? so i texted/im'ed him with "o i c just doing your seasonal charity work, glad to see you included me in your rounds" yadda yadda yadda he said something i shot back w/sarcasm and so on and on he said something about being nicer to be now and i said ... really? did you send the same thing to jody and lia and all the other girls in toledo you were a cock to? and he said something like wrong lea and than i started to type "it doesn't matter, the point is you sent that to me for one of two reasons and neither of them are going to benefit me in the end, so you got what you wanted the "stalker" the "white bitch" and the "obsessed ex" responded to your bullshit ... again" and as i hit send he sent me "i don't talk to the other lia anymore" like o gee thanx for telling me moe, you don't talk to me anymore, either fucker was it worth it? bastard. he so pissed me off when he sent that to me so i said ... "yeah i heard, you used some poor girl to get over her ... nice" and than he didn't respond and i said "the truth sucks huh? what really sucks is you never had the balls to say any of it to my face ... that part however, isn't a surprise" and i signed off. so i feel better. i pushed the pawns back a little. he didn't win. well ... no more than he had when i left the last time. he wasn't expecting my anger ... any other time he'd wait it out and come back and i'd start out w/i don't "hate" you and that would turn into ... i miss you and i love you. but now i'm like ... i don't care about you at all. not enough to hate or love you ... you're just a piece of shit part of my past that heart like hell. i'd never share the tears w/him now ... i'd never let him know the pain he has caused unless by lashing out and letting him know his messages and words are not welcomed ...
i wake up lonely a stare of silence in the bedroom and all around ...