Day 3 is....Your Parents
I'm not sure I can do this post justice.
My parents are freaking fabulous. Even when they make me crazy. It's totally well-deserved because I am sure I make them crazy.
I started to type a lot about Daddo, but I don't really wanna go there right now. Nor Mamere. So, I'm gonna talk about them as a unit. Their 25th wedding anniversary is Saturday. THEY ROCK.
My parents have always always always been a united force. We were not EVER able to play them against one another. And not because we didn't try. Though truthfully, we didn't try often because it never worked! I'm sure they never agreed 100% on everything, but in front of us, when it counted, it sure seemed like it. They always let us know what their expectations were. As we got older, we did start to learn which parent was best to approach about X Y or Z...but we always knew that the other would hear about it. Secrets just don't happen in this family. I know of only a few things that Mom kept from Dad and Dad kept from Mom...and hilariously enough, they both confided in me. :P But these secrets were silly things, like Dad ordering stuff off HSN that Mom would roll her eyes at.... I kept him from going crazy spending $ and in return, she never pointed out that she noticed random items appearing in the house. Or she would compliment them and see if he spilled. Funny.
Mom's secrets usually had to do with a grade or the time I got pulled over for speeding. I really thought I'd take the secret to the grave without having to deal with Daddo's temper. Until my little sister pointed out that the cop at the high school was the same cop that pulled me over, right in front of my parents who were chaperoning the dance. (I was a Senior, she was a Freshie.) Dad handled that one unexpectedly well, Mom was non-commital about knowing it, and my sister still tears up when you mention that instance. Because I sort of chewed her ass out like I never have before.
My parents worked harder than anyone I've ever known. They didn't want us to have to do latch-key or they couldn't afford it, so for years they took turns working night shifts so someone was always home. They always managed to have one of them as a parent chaperone on every single field trip/class party. They always had us in church on Sunday. They took us to dance classes, choir rehearsals, athletic events, and scouts. Mom was always our scout leader and really made sure it was more than cookies and crafts. We DID stuff. Dad was a great Girl Scout, btw. They never missed a performance for anything we were in. They always had at least one of them at our games, if not both. They made it clear that we attended each others' things because that's an act of love. It's what families DO.
They helped with homework and taught us responsibility. And not just stuff like cleaning up our toys, but how our words and actions affect people around us. They very specifically taught us to pay attention to our surroundings, remember names and faces, and how to listen carefully. They taught us to say please and thank you and how to be inobtrusive. They played with us but also made sure we could entertain ourselves. They taught us to hang tough and defend ourselves. We were to never start a fight, but we knew how to end them. And they did such a good job with that, my sister and I are known among friends for mediating. teachers in our grade school would usually give us a chance to simmer things down with our friends before they had to go into teacher mode and start handing out detentions and stuff. My parents taught us to give respect and how to earn it. Both of my parents are incredibly friendly and warm people who rarely look uncomfortable. They make friends everywhere. They treated friends like family. They'd do anything for anyone without expecting the same. And have always been excellent at expressing their gratitude.
My parents have always treated us like we are totally capable individuals. But they never forced us into accomplishing any specific thing. They didn't let us give up, but they also supported us when we asserted that we didn't want or could no longer do something. Like me and athletics. It was never a problem for my parents that I gave up sports. I am not athletic and they had no delusions that I should keep pursuing them. They let us figure things out for ourselves.
The best way to describe them is by talking about our friends. Our house has always, and continues to be, the place to hang out. I know many of my friends' parents and families. But to my parents, my friends are family. 80% of my friends have been known to call up my parents just to talk. Or I'd come home from somewhere to find people hanging out in the living room with my dad. There was not a weekend from the 3rd grade to graduating high school where there were not friends at my house or hanging out with my family. A few of them were practically live-ins and for awhile, a few of them genuinely did live with us. And it's not like we were the house to hang at because my parents let us get away with murder. My parents had rules and those rules applied to everyone. There weren't many, but the rules we had were to be respected. And because my friends loved my parents so much, it never was an issue.
And when they were both in the hospital, most of my friends came to see my parents for my parents' sake not just for mine. Most people have a handful of friends who are willing to sit in the hospital room with your ailing parent. I'm not sure I had a friend who didn't want to...
I think it says a lot that most of my friends don't call them Mr or Mrs G. They're just Mom and Dad to everyone.