Halo: Chapter 13- His Kiss
Well, the title gives away everything, doesn't it?
Welcome back, everyone! Let's get started on the sporking of chapter 13!
We open up with Bethany talking about how she likes to be able to reconnect with Heaven at Sunday Mass. According to her, "kneeling in the pews and listening to the chords of 'Agnus Dei' brought me back to my former self. There was an airy tranquility inside the church that couldn't be found anywhere else. It was cool and calm, like being at the bottom of the ocean, and I always felt that as soon as I stepped through its doors, I was in a safe place."
First of all, it feels like you're at the bottom of the ocean? Sorry, but the bottom of the ocean is anything but peaceful. Have you seen the kinds of fish that live at the bottom? They're not pretty or cute; they're like mutants! So that metaphor's a total fail!
But okay. You say that you feel at peace when you go to church. I can buy that. My mom feels at peace whenever she says Hindu prayers or goes to the Hindu temple. Everyone has a place where they feel safer and at peace. For me, that place is my room, of course. But please try and use a better metaphor next time? Reading your 'bottom of the ocean' one made me cringe.
We also learn that both Bethany and Ivy are altar servers on Sunday while Gabriel helps Father Mel in giving out Holy Communion. A.K.A., the ritual in which churchgoers are given bread and wine (or grape juice), as it was Jesus' last meal. And after service, the three of them like to stay back and chat with Father Mel.
So one day, Father Mel observes how the congregation is growing, so Ivy suggests that people are starting to realize what's important in life. However, Father Mel suggests that they're following Ivy's example.
Oh, so you're getting more churchgoers who simply want to bone either Ivy or Gabriel?! Nice. It's not because they want to get closer to God, it's because they want to have sex with them. We're barely starting and I already wanna quit. Great. *deep breath* I need to keep going.
Gabriel says that the church needs no advocates, and it should speak for itself. *skeptical* Oh, really? Then how do you explain Jehovah's Witnesses? Or the people who try to give you Bibles while telling you that Jesus loves you?
The conversation gradually comes to an end when Father Mel says that he believes that God will listen to them. Gabriel tries to brush it off, not wanting to give away too much. *laughs in disbelief* And you say this after using your powers to control the weather, heal a bug bite, make an angry teacher complacent, and heal a girl in a car accident? SHOWING VS. TELLING, ADORNETTO!! You can't say one thing but then show something else! Where did you learn your writing from, Stephenie Meyer?!
Oh, wait...
Take notes: Twilight is NOT a good guide on how to write supernatural creatures or paranormal romances.
We move to the next day. Bethany states that Xavier has a sports meeting during the morning break, so she listens to Molly and Taylah talking about clothes! Oh, do keep talking about how I'm supposed to love shopping and clothes as a girl, Adornetto. I'm so interested.
I'll let Skwisgaar Skwigelf speak for me again.
Maybe I should make him a sporker as well? *gets an idea* After all, we all need hot Swedish sex gods to help us get through this sort of nonsense.
Moving on, Bethany unintentionally agrees to come with them for shopping and beach bonfires because she was so preoccupied. And then, we move to the fifth period!
I was glad when fifth period finally came around and Xavier and I had French together. I felt a rush of relief to be in the same room as him even though I knew I could barely focus. I desperately needed to talk to him now, even if I hadn't decided what I was going to say. I just knew it couldn't wait.
Anyways, Bethany struggles not to reach out and touch him, and that just sounds rather creepy, Adornetto. Bethany feels as if they're both magnets drawn to each other, and that resisting was more painful than succumbing. Yeah, you tell all that stuff, but you haven't shown me any evidence, Adornetto!
This is the most boring romance ever, it's like Edward and Bella's 'romance'! There's no realistic chemistry, no sweet moments of awkward flirting, nothing! There's more to this, though. Just be patient.
Xavier has sensed Bethany's strange mood, so he stays behind after class as everyone else leaves. And of course, "[a] few curious onlookers cast glances in [their] direction, probably hoping to pick up some threads of the conversation that they might report back to their friends as juicy gossip".
Or they're probably curious as to why there are two students remaining in the classroom when the teacher hasn't told them that he wanted to speak to them! Jeez, was your life a high school movie, Adornetto? No one does anything like this!
Once everyone leaves, Xavier tells Bethany that he tried to call her last night but got no answer. Why? He was worried about her!
Bethany's response is to fiddle with her pencil case, and Xavier suddenly puts his hands on her shoulders. Oh, great. Go ahead, never mind that she probably doesn't want to be touched right now!
He asks her what's wrong, so Bethany tells him that yesterday's accident drained her, but is feeling better now. But Xavier presses, telling her that he thinks there's more. And according to Bethany, "even in the short time [she'd] known him, Xavier was always able to read her moods, yet his own eyes betrayed nothing of what he was feeling."
Right, because women aren't allowed to hide their emotions in front of Their Man, but a man can be as stoic all he wants! Only men can have a Resting Bitchface, apparently! Yeah, tell that to Yamini, Adornetto. Her default expression is Resting Bitchface.
Bethany starts out with saying that her life is very complicated. Xavier continues to press her and- Look if she doesn't want to talk, leave her alone, dammit! God! What is it with men trying to force women to tell them their feelings?! Give her some space and she'll eventually talk!
Xavier tells her that he knows she has a secret, and then we get this!
I felt a sudden icy fear take hold of me, but at the same time a flooding relief. If Xavier already knew I was a fraud and a liar, it meant I'd failed completely in all aspects of our mission. Rule number one for all Agents of Light was to keep our identity a secret as we worked to piece the world back together-- exposure could result in all kinds of chaos. But then again, it could also mean that Xavier had chosen to accept me anyway and the truth might not drive him away.
*stunned* Okay...
First of all, why would you be relieved if Xavier found out?! You just said yourself that angels cannot be discovered by humans! I can't! I just... I'm appalled at how stupid Bethany is! Why is she such an idiot?!
*deep breath* Calm down. Keep going.
Xavier continues to say that it's obvious she's hiding something, and that it's upsetting her. He tells her that he'll respect her privacy, and Bethany tells him that it's not fair to him. She also feels that the thought of walking away from Xavier left a physical pain in her chest. She says she's trying to protect him, he says he can handle it, and- Dear God, is this supposed to be emotional?! Am I supposed to find this sad?! Is she supposed to Break His Heart to Save Him? All I'm hearing is whining! And it just goes on back and forth, back and forth!
This scene is trying to go for what Giuseppe Verdi captured in his opera La traviata, specifically, during the aria "Amami Alfredo!". In this part, the courtesan Violetta Valéry is supposed to break up with her lover Alfredo Germont, requested to do so by Giorgio Germont, Alfredo's father. And yes, she has to go through the Break His Heart to Save Him route, so she has to write a farewell letter to Alfredo. However, Violetta can't tell him about how his father told her to break up with him, neither can she tell him about her tuberculosis. And of course, when Alfredo asks her what's wrong, Violetta is struggling to hold her tears back and asks Alfredo to love her as much as she loves him.
However, the opera makes this work because Violetta genuinely loves Alfredo. Sure, there's a huge timeskip between Acts I and II, and we don't see her falling in love with Alfredo enough to live with him outside of Paris, but Violetta expresses her emotions through singing. And it comes across as truly heartbreaking and sad because of that! Here, I don't get the same sort of vibe from either Bethany or Xavier! It's just coming across as annoying, clichéd, and repetitive!
(BTW: For those who are interested, here's a few videos of the aria. In order, the sopranos are Angela Gheorghiu, Maria Callas, and Renée Fleming. The tenors, in order, are Frank Lopardo, Giuseppe Di Stefano, and Ramon Vargas.)
As much as I'd like to discuss opera and GazettE, since I'm a cultured metalhead, I gotta get back to this! So, Bethany tells Xavier that he deserves someone who he can have an honest relationship with, and that is a good point. Bethany knows that because she is an angel, she'll constantly have to keep it a secret from him, and she doesn't want that. However, I'm not giving her credit for it because she's constantly pined after him and disregarded rules just to try and be with him.
Xavier asks her if she'd feel better if he kept his distance for a while, and we get this!
How fickle and contradictory human emotions were! I'd spent the last few minutes trying to suggest this very idea but now I found myself devastated by his readiness to walk away, even if his motivation was my well-being. I wasn't sure what reaction I'd expected, but this wasn't it. Did I want to see him drop to his knees and declare his undying love? Of course he wasn't going to do that, but I couldn't let him walk away. I didn't think I'd be able to stand it.
*explodes in rage*
Bethany, for the love of all that is holy, STOP WHINING!!!!
*pants, exhausted* Well, now that I've finished acting like Toki, I'm getting back to sporking.
Bethany says that she doesn't want to complicate Xavier's life, but he doesn't mind. Why? "Straightforward relationships are overrated".
So, you'd rather have a relationship built on lies and lack of trust?! Like Bella and Edward?! What is it with YA authors and their obsession with unhealthy relationships?!
Xavier decides to give Bethany something to help her make up her mind. And what is it? It's a kiss!
Before I knew what was happening, Xavier had brought his hands up to touch my face and was tilting my chin toward him. His lips brushed over mine with a feather touch, but it was enough to make me shiver. I like the way he held me; as if I were fragile and likely to break if he held too tight. He rested his forehead against mine as though we had all the time in the world. A delicious heat started to spread through my body, and I strained toward him, reaching for his lips again. I returned his kiss with passionate urgency and clung to him. I allowed myself to melt into his embrace and pressed our bodies together. His warmth was seeping through my flimsy shirt, and I could feel his heart beating fast.
I'm sorry, but I've read hotter kisses in fanfiction, both het and slash, than this. And what is this, is Bethany starting to feel horny? Again, this is not cute, or sweet, or even romantic! And in terms of passion, this is far from passionate or hot! And guess what? It helped Bethany make up her mind! Yeah, into breaking DIVINE LAW.
But Bethany doesn't care. She now tells us that even if it was seen as a serious transgression that was punishable by who knows what, it's less scary than being away from him!
Guys.
Bethany is willing to be cast out of Heaven by her Father all for the sake of a cute guy.
*shakes head* Just... keep going. You're almost done.
Bethany decides to tell Xavier the truth, because he deserves to know. After all, "Xavier had to see the uncensored version of [Bethany]; not the idealized version in his head". And yes, while it is important to let your significant other know all parts of you, the problem is that by doing this, you're going against divine law, you twit! Why?! Why is Bethany so stupid?!
Xavier asks her to show him, but she tells him not in the classroom. So she asks if he's going to the beach bonfire, to which he says that he was going to ask if she wanted to go with him, and she agrees to show him then! And with that, we're done!
Good God, this chapter was draining. Now if you'll excuse me, I'm going to go back to reading slash porn between Skwisgaar and Toki (which is miles healthier and hotter than this 'romance') and watching GazettE music videos (which are hotter than Xavier ever hopes to be). I'll see you all in the next chapter!
Continue to: Chapter 14- Defying Gravity
Go back to: Chapter 12- Saving Grace
Welcome back, everyone! Let's get started on the sporking of chapter 13!
We open up with Bethany talking about how she likes to be able to reconnect with Heaven at Sunday Mass. According to her, "kneeling in the pews and listening to the chords of 'Agnus Dei' brought me back to my former self. There was an airy tranquility inside the church that couldn't be found anywhere else. It was cool and calm, like being at the bottom of the ocean, and I always felt that as soon as I stepped through its doors, I was in a safe place."
First of all, it feels like you're at the bottom of the ocean? Sorry, but the bottom of the ocean is anything but peaceful. Have you seen the kinds of fish that live at the bottom? They're not pretty or cute; they're like mutants! So that metaphor's a total fail!
But okay. You say that you feel at peace when you go to church. I can buy that. My mom feels at peace whenever she says Hindu prayers or goes to the Hindu temple. Everyone has a place where they feel safer and at peace. For me, that place is my room, of course. But please try and use a better metaphor next time? Reading your 'bottom of the ocean' one made me cringe.
We also learn that both Bethany and Ivy are altar servers on Sunday while Gabriel helps Father Mel in giving out Holy Communion. A.K.A., the ritual in which churchgoers are given bread and wine (or grape juice), as it was Jesus' last meal. And after service, the three of them like to stay back and chat with Father Mel.
So one day, Father Mel observes how the congregation is growing, so Ivy suggests that people are starting to realize what's important in life. However, Father Mel suggests that they're following Ivy's example.
Oh, so you're getting more churchgoers who simply want to bone either Ivy or Gabriel?! Nice. It's not because they want to get closer to God, it's because they want to have sex with them. We're barely starting and I already wanna quit. Great. *deep breath* I need to keep going.
Gabriel says that the church needs no advocates, and it should speak for itself. *skeptical* Oh, really? Then how do you explain Jehovah's Witnesses? Or the people who try to give you Bibles while telling you that Jesus loves you?
The conversation gradually comes to an end when Father Mel says that he believes that God will listen to them. Gabriel tries to brush it off, not wanting to give away too much. *laughs in disbelief* And you say this after using your powers to control the weather, heal a bug bite, make an angry teacher complacent, and heal a girl in a car accident? SHOWING VS. TELLING, ADORNETTO!! You can't say one thing but then show something else! Where did you learn your writing from, Stephenie Meyer?!
Oh, wait...
Take notes: Twilight is NOT a good guide on how to write supernatural creatures or paranormal romances.
We move to the next day. Bethany states that Xavier has a sports meeting during the morning break, so she listens to Molly and Taylah talking about clothes! Oh, do keep talking about how I'm supposed to love shopping and clothes as a girl, Adornetto. I'm so interested.
I'll let Skwisgaar Skwigelf speak for me again.
Maybe I should make him a sporker as well? *gets an idea* After all, we all need hot Swedish sex gods to help us get through this sort of nonsense.
Moving on, Bethany unintentionally agrees to come with them for shopping and beach bonfires because she was so preoccupied. And then, we move to the fifth period!
I was glad when fifth period finally came around and Xavier and I had French together. I felt a rush of relief to be in the same room as him even though I knew I could barely focus. I desperately needed to talk to him now, even if I hadn't decided what I was going to say. I just knew it couldn't wait.
Anyways, Bethany struggles not to reach out and touch him, and that just sounds rather creepy, Adornetto. Bethany feels as if they're both magnets drawn to each other, and that resisting was more painful than succumbing. Yeah, you tell all that stuff, but you haven't shown me any evidence, Adornetto!
This is the most boring romance ever, it's like Edward and Bella's 'romance'! There's no realistic chemistry, no sweet moments of awkward flirting, nothing! There's more to this, though. Just be patient.
Xavier has sensed Bethany's strange mood, so he stays behind after class as everyone else leaves. And of course, "[a] few curious onlookers cast glances in [their] direction, probably hoping to pick up some threads of the conversation that they might report back to their friends as juicy gossip".
Or they're probably curious as to why there are two students remaining in the classroom when the teacher hasn't told them that he wanted to speak to them! Jeez, was your life a high school movie, Adornetto? No one does anything like this!
Once everyone leaves, Xavier tells Bethany that he tried to call her last night but got no answer. Why? He was worried about her!
Bethany's response is to fiddle with her pencil case, and Xavier suddenly puts his hands on her shoulders. Oh, great. Go ahead, never mind that she probably doesn't want to be touched right now!
He asks her what's wrong, so Bethany tells him that yesterday's accident drained her, but is feeling better now. But Xavier presses, telling her that he thinks there's more. And according to Bethany, "even in the short time [she'd] known him, Xavier was always able to read her moods, yet his own eyes betrayed nothing of what he was feeling."
Right, because women aren't allowed to hide their emotions in front of Their Man, but a man can be as stoic all he wants! Only men can have a Resting Bitchface, apparently! Yeah, tell that to Yamini, Adornetto. Her default expression is Resting Bitchface.
Bethany starts out with saying that her life is very complicated. Xavier continues to press her and- Look if she doesn't want to talk, leave her alone, dammit! God! What is it with men trying to force women to tell them their feelings?! Give her some space and she'll eventually talk!
Xavier tells her that he knows she has a secret, and then we get this!
I felt a sudden icy fear take hold of me, but at the same time a flooding relief. If Xavier already knew I was a fraud and a liar, it meant I'd failed completely in all aspects of our mission. Rule number one for all Agents of Light was to keep our identity a secret as we worked to piece the world back together-- exposure could result in all kinds of chaos. But then again, it could also mean that Xavier had chosen to accept me anyway and the truth might not drive him away.
*stunned* Okay...
First of all, why would you be relieved if Xavier found out?! You just said yourself that angels cannot be discovered by humans! I can't! I just... I'm appalled at how stupid Bethany is! Why is she such an idiot?!
*deep breath* Calm down. Keep going.
Xavier continues to say that it's obvious she's hiding something, and that it's upsetting her. He tells her that he'll respect her privacy, and Bethany tells him that it's not fair to him. She also feels that the thought of walking away from Xavier left a physical pain in her chest. She says she's trying to protect him, he says he can handle it, and- Dear God, is this supposed to be emotional?! Am I supposed to find this sad?! Is she supposed to Break His Heart to Save Him? All I'm hearing is whining! And it just goes on back and forth, back and forth!
This scene is trying to go for what Giuseppe Verdi captured in his opera La traviata, specifically, during the aria "Amami Alfredo!". In this part, the courtesan Violetta Valéry is supposed to break up with her lover Alfredo Germont, requested to do so by Giorgio Germont, Alfredo's father. And yes, she has to go through the Break His Heart to Save Him route, so she has to write a farewell letter to Alfredo. However, Violetta can't tell him about how his father told her to break up with him, neither can she tell him about her tuberculosis. And of course, when Alfredo asks her what's wrong, Violetta is struggling to hold her tears back and asks Alfredo to love her as much as she loves him.
However, the opera makes this work because Violetta genuinely loves Alfredo. Sure, there's a huge timeskip between Acts I and II, and we don't see her falling in love with Alfredo enough to live with him outside of Paris, but Violetta expresses her emotions through singing. And it comes across as truly heartbreaking and sad because of that! Here, I don't get the same sort of vibe from either Bethany or Xavier! It's just coming across as annoying, clichéd, and repetitive!
(BTW: For those who are interested, here's a few videos of the aria. In order, the sopranos are Angela Gheorghiu, Maria Callas, and Renée Fleming. The tenors, in order, are Frank Lopardo, Giuseppe Di Stefano, and Ramon Vargas.)
Click to viewAs much as I'd like to discuss opera and GazettE, since I'm a cultured metalhead, I gotta get back to this! So, Bethany tells Xavier that he deserves someone who he can have an honest relationship with, and that is a good point. Bethany knows that because she is an angel, she'll constantly have to keep it a secret from him, and she doesn't want that. However, I'm not giving her credit for it because she's constantly pined after him and disregarded rules just to try and be with him.
Xavier asks her if she'd feel better if he kept his distance for a while, and we get this!
How fickle and contradictory human emotions were! I'd spent the last few minutes trying to suggest this very idea but now I found myself devastated by his readiness to walk away, even if his motivation was my well-being. I wasn't sure what reaction I'd expected, but this wasn't it. Did I want to see him drop to his knees and declare his undying love? Of course he wasn't going to do that, but I couldn't let him walk away. I didn't think I'd be able to stand it.
*explodes in rage*
Bethany, for the love of all that is holy, STOP WHINING!!!!
*pants, exhausted* Well, now that I've finished acting like Toki, I'm getting back to sporking.
Bethany says that she doesn't want to complicate Xavier's life, but he doesn't mind. Why? "Straightforward relationships are overrated".
So, you'd rather have a relationship built on lies and lack of trust?! Like Bella and Edward?! What is it with YA authors and their obsession with unhealthy relationships?!
Xavier decides to give Bethany something to help her make up her mind. And what is it? It's a kiss!
Before I knew what was happening, Xavier had brought his hands up to touch my face and was tilting my chin toward him. His lips brushed over mine with a feather touch, but it was enough to make me shiver. I like the way he held me; as if I were fragile and likely to break if he held too tight. He rested his forehead against mine as though we had all the time in the world. A delicious heat started to spread through my body, and I strained toward him, reaching for his lips again. I returned his kiss with passionate urgency and clung to him. I allowed myself to melt into his embrace and pressed our bodies together. His warmth was seeping through my flimsy shirt, and I could feel his heart beating fast.
I'm sorry, but I've read hotter kisses in fanfiction, both het and slash, than this. And what is this, is Bethany starting to feel horny? Again, this is not cute, or sweet, or even romantic! And in terms of passion, this is far from passionate or hot! And guess what? It helped Bethany make up her mind! Yeah, into breaking DIVINE LAW.
But Bethany doesn't care. She now tells us that even if it was seen as a serious transgression that was punishable by who knows what, it's less scary than being away from him!
Guys.
Bethany is willing to be cast out of Heaven by her Father all for the sake of a cute guy.
*shakes head* Just... keep going. You're almost done.
Bethany decides to tell Xavier the truth, because he deserves to know. After all, "Xavier had to see the uncensored version of [Bethany]; not the idealized version in his head". And yes, while it is important to let your significant other know all parts of you, the problem is that by doing this, you're going against divine law, you twit! Why?! Why is Bethany so stupid?!
Xavier asks her to show him, but she tells him not in the classroom. So she asks if he's going to the beach bonfire, to which he says that he was going to ask if she wanted to go with him, and she agrees to show him then! And with that, we're done!
Good God, this chapter was draining. Now if you'll excuse me, I'm going to go back to reading slash porn between Skwisgaar and Toki (which is miles healthier and hotter than this 'romance') and watching GazettE music videos (which are hotter than Xavier ever hopes to be). I'll see you all in the next chapter!
Continue to: Chapter 14- Defying Gravity
Go back to: Chapter 12- Saving Grace