(no subject)
I had the weirdest dream ever last night that made me think about alot [you know it was important since I'm actually writing in livejournal for the first time in forever]. It made me realize alot about my life and it was scary how true some of the things in it were.
First off, we had to rescue Frank from some jail in Mt. Clemens but the only people I could recognize who went were myself, Alex, Danielle, and Stephanie. There were other people but I didn't know who they were. We got him out of jail and then it started to rain and the boys fought about which way to take home so we all just kind of wandered around for awhile. I saw something that I didn't like [in the, some girl hitting on my boyfriend kinda thing which I dont want to remember] so I ran away. This is where the dream starts to hit home with my life. I'm scared I'm going to get hurt and cheated on again. and whenever something hurts me, I run away from it or push myself away. When I can't handle whats going on, I run until it hurts. And the same when I get jealous which I do alot. Stephanie and Danielle kept telling Alex to run after me but he didn't. That shows that I know Danielle and Steph will always be there for me and trying their best to help out a friend. And because I dreamt that Alex wouldnt come after me, I'm still afraid of being hurt after what happened last time so I guess deep down I don't expect anyone to run after me because I've been hurt so bad in the past. I just really don't want my heart broken because he means so much to me. I don't trust that many people in my life and I have a hard time believing people would actually care enough about me to come after me. While I was running, the first person I called wasn't Sunny, but it was Grove. I guess that makes sense because he has always cared about me so much and I know I can count on him. Sunny, sometimes notsomuch but usually I can count on him 9 times out of 10. Especially because he told me he would call me to check on me last night and never did. After I talked to Grove, I guess I came to my senses and went back, just like I always go back and pretended nothing was wrong, like I always do. I just go through phases where I get scared and then I'll realize everythings okay. I dunno I guess this is pointless but this dream made me realize alot about my life...
First off, we had to rescue Frank from some jail in Mt. Clemens but the only people I could recognize who went were myself, Alex, Danielle, and Stephanie. There were other people but I didn't know who they were. We got him out of jail and then it started to rain and the boys fought about which way to take home so we all just kind of wandered around for awhile. I saw something that I didn't like [in the, some girl hitting on my boyfriend kinda thing which I dont want to remember] so I ran away. This is where the dream starts to hit home with my life. I'm scared I'm going to get hurt and cheated on again. and whenever something hurts me, I run away from it or push myself away. When I can't handle whats going on, I run until it hurts. And the same when I get jealous which I do alot. Stephanie and Danielle kept telling Alex to run after me but he didn't. That shows that I know Danielle and Steph will always be there for me and trying their best to help out a friend. And because I dreamt that Alex wouldnt come after me, I'm still afraid of being hurt after what happened last time so I guess deep down I don't expect anyone to run after me because I've been hurt so bad in the past. I just really don't want my heart broken because he means so much to me. I don't trust that many people in my life and I have a hard time believing people would actually care enough about me to come after me. While I was running, the first person I called wasn't Sunny, but it was Grove. I guess that makes sense because he has always cared about me so much and I know I can count on him. Sunny, sometimes notsomuch but usually I can count on him 9 times out of 10. Especially because he told me he would call me to check on me last night and never did. After I talked to Grove, I guess I came to my senses and went back, just like I always go back and pretended nothing was wrong, like I always do. I just go through phases where I get scared and then I'll realize everythings okay. I dunno I guess this is pointless but this dream made me realize alot about my life...