ive never cried so much in 2 days..

[miss_wendy]

Ive had the worst 2 days..He wont talk to me, and i dont blame him. i fucked up and i know it. and it hurts to not be able to call him and just randomly talk. i told him how i felt and what i was going to do. and then he went to ryans. and an hour later i get a phone call telling me hes done. i understand i just wish i would of done what i was supposed to do sooner, but i was scared of hurting someone else. AND last night me and erica went to ryans house he wasnt home, as we were leaving he pulls up and i give him a hug and he goes "Hey, Yvonnes here" Yvonne is his EX girlfriend. why did he bring his ex gf to his appt at 9:30 at night when hes dating me..this is what he said.."Dont jump to conclusions its not like that we were together all night and you know we have finnancial things together she still has stuff here and we nneed to talk aboit what shes taking in march" he left me numorious times to hang out with her to talk about this shit, and if shes not taking it tonight why do they need to talk about it..oh wait it gets better. he says hell call me tomorrow walks away as im watching she puts her arm around him, and what does he do, he does the same..yeah you guessed it that relationship is done..

it sucks that i didnt end it with him sooner. instead of me hurting someone in the end im the one whos hurting. but im sure i deserve it. but i didnt lie. ryan told me to date jim to. jim knew i was dating ryan. if anything its ryans fault. he wouldnt commit to me for some odd reason. and he told me to date jim to. and now i miss jim a lot. and i want to fix things with him. but i cant for a while.

i just want to die. i need to get out of here for a while. whos with me.