(no subject)
Title: The L words: Loss & Loyalty
Author: miss_v_mars
Characters/Parings: Veronica
Summary: Veronica knocks on Logan’s door.
Total Word Count: 2,340
Rating: R
Spoilers: None
Disclaimer: I don't own anything having to do with Veronica Mars. All characters and places belong to Rob Thomas. Except Trey. Who sucks.
Author's Note: It’s a little darkish and I got the idea from an e-mail. I hope you like it, comments are always awesome. <3
Veronica needed to know. She needed to know that all these things she was feeling about herself were untrue. And she needed Logan to tell her, because he would tell her the truth no matter what. He answered on first knock. She was eerily calm standing there in front of his room, how many times she’d stood in this exact spot looking at him she couldn’t say. They’d been broken up for 14 months now, and she wasn’t surprised at how uncaring he looked seeing her there. She knew she deserved it. She wish she hadn’t come, but she needed to know, before she could wash away the blood off her thighs, was she worthy of removing it? Trey had a tougher hit than she thought he’d have, but after he’d backhanded her for the third time, she’d realised her first assumption of him - on all fronts had been wrong.
Veronica had turned into the one thing she never wanted to be - weak. She knew why she didn’t walk away the first time it happened, she felt she deserved it. He was so sorry the first time it happened that she actually believed it, believed him. But the hitting became routine, as did hiding the marks from her dad and from Wallace. It was hard. That’s why she’d moved out. She was living in a shit hole and she hated it. From the smell to the noisy tenants living above her. And on the nights she couldn’t handle it, she slept at the toe of Laura’s bed. The only person she talked to anymore. She’d stop talking to her old friends all together. Wallace, Mac, Piz, Parker and Logan. She was ashamed so one by one she’d blocked them out until they gave up trying. But now she felt too far gone, she just wanted a minute of normalcy with Logan, so she could pretend things were like they use to be.
“Do you think I’m pretty?” she asked, so quietly she didn’t think Logan had heard.
He didn’t answer, so maybe he hadn’t.
She asked him if he wanted to be with her forever. He shook his head, not understanding. She took it as a no. Veronica took a deep breathe and shuddered asking once last question.
“If I died, would you cry?”
He remained silent confusion etching his features. She’d heard enough, or lack of. As she walked away, tears streaming down her face Logan grabbed her arm.
He looked at her so intently her knees buckled and he had to support her.
“You’re not pretty, you’re beautiful,” He whispered, “I don’t want to be with you forever I need to be with you forever. And I wouldn’t cry if you died……………… I’d die to.”
She let herself be pulled into his embrace and she took deep lung filled breaths of him.
He led her into his room, her hair was a mess and she looked tired. She didn’t look his like Veronica. Her aura, usually detectable from kilometres away, was gone. As was the light in her eyes. But he knew she’d talk to him when she was ready, when she was strong enough to.
“I need a bath” she whispered, her voice scratchy and raw from desperately holding back tears.
Two days later Trey went missing. The Neptune Sherriff’s Department never found him.
For the next two weeks Logan, Wallace and Eli stayed under the radar, nursing their bruised knuckles and severe love and loyalty towards Veronica Mars.