What the hell kind of joke is this?
I can't keep doing this. I can't keep being told that my best is not good enough, that my feelings are irrational, that my expectations of others are too high. Can't I just feel how I feel?
My friend's boyfriend has cheated on her. He may still be doing it. I don't know. But how can I look at her every day and not tell her? How can I tell her and look at the look on her face when she realizes he's a liar? I didn't ask to know this information, I didn't ask for this burden.
I'm sick of doing 100% of all the work necessary for Zeta 200. I've worked my ass off to make sure everything's going as smoothly as possible, and my teammates can't seem to meet me in the middle. I've fought through all of my emotional baggage to get my share of the workload done, and in the end I'm stuck with theirs, too.
People tell me I'm wrong for disliking someone. I cannot help how I feel! I know more about this person than they do, and I am continually told that my emotions aren't justified, and that I should just "try harder." I can't try any harder. I am at my breaking point. If anybody understood that, my life would be so much easier. I try so hard to be good to most everyone, to get my work done, to stay as sane as I can, and it leaves very little time for me. When I finally find a moment to breathe, I find myself becoming anxious, worrying about which obstacle will be hurled at me next. Why do I keep waiting for the other shoe to drop? I don't need someone to carry me through these troubles; I don't need someone to fix my problems for me. All I need is someone to understand my every facet, and respect that I'm doing the best I can right now. I just need to know that my best is good enough.
My friend's boyfriend has cheated on her. He may still be doing it. I don't know. But how can I look at her every day and not tell her? How can I tell her and look at the look on her face when she realizes he's a liar? I didn't ask to know this information, I didn't ask for this burden.
I'm sick of doing 100% of all the work necessary for Zeta 200. I've worked my ass off to make sure everything's going as smoothly as possible, and my teammates can't seem to meet me in the middle. I've fought through all of my emotional baggage to get my share of the workload done, and in the end I'm stuck with theirs, too.
People tell me I'm wrong for disliking someone. I cannot help how I feel! I know more about this person than they do, and I am continually told that my emotions aren't justified, and that I should just "try harder." I can't try any harder. I am at my breaking point. If anybody understood that, my life would be so much easier. I try so hard to be good to most everyone, to get my work done, to stay as sane as I can, and it leaves very little time for me. When I finally find a moment to breathe, I find myself becoming anxious, worrying about which obstacle will be hurled at me next. Why do I keep waiting for the other shoe to drop? I don't need someone to carry me through these troubles; I don't need someone to fix my problems for me. All I need is someone to understand my every facet, and respect that I'm doing the best I can right now. I just need to know that my best is good enough.