Footprints in the Sand [5/?]
Orihime felt strangely empty as she flipped through the pages of her notebook, opening it to a blank page. The pain she had been expecting hadn’t settled in yet, and it all seemed so surreal that it was, most likely, the last time she would see her apartment again.
“Let’s see…I’ll need to tell Rangiku-san and Toushirou-kun about garbage day, and the leftovers from last night will need to be finished soon or thrown away.” She would really hate to have guests sick over spoiled food.
“Do shinigami know how to do the laundry?”
She didn’t know the answer to that, but she put it down anyways, hoping they could figure it out. Orihime fidgeted with the bracelet that made her wrist feel far too heavy as she tried to think of what else she could be missing.
It had taken awhile for Orihime to get used to living by herself. Sure she had that kind old woman next door, and she would stop by from time to time and offer a hand and talk about her dead husband and give her an update on all of her cats, but Orihime truly had struggled in the beginning. When Sora had been alive, the closest she had ever come to running a house had been within her own imagination, when she’d sit out on the deck with an assortment of stuffed animals and potted plants and pretend they had all come to visit and expected to be treated like royalty. And she would cater to their every whim because she really was a very good host, though she did spill tea on her favorite stuffed bunny and cracked that one pot Sora had really liked.
“I wish I had been able to tell them that I enjoyed having them stay with me.”
The sound of other voices within her apartment was a memory that would always bring a smile to her face.
With one final look around her home, Orihime left through the wall and tried desperately not to cry. Things were starting to sink in now, but she couldn’t allow herself to break down. No, she had to be strong.
Her feet carried her for a while, over paths that looked so different in the day than they did now. At first she thought she was lost, but then she realized she recognized the place up ahead and her heart stilled.
It was the Kurosaki home.
Ulquiorra’s warning echoed inside her head, only one.
Orihime had wanted to ask him why she was allowed to say good bye at all, why she could say it only once, and just how could he do this to someone? But instead she had merely nodded, understanding and accepting his rules.
She hadn’t truly considered who would be the one until now, but here she was, and Kurosaki-kun was so close and she was curious as to how he had faired and she just had to do something now, since it was the end.
The bracelet made her feel weightless; weightless and yet heavier than she had ever felt, but it allowed her to climb easily up to the window. Before she entered, however, she paused before the glass, one delicate hand reaching out towards the pane. Suddenly, wildly, Orihime wished for a miracle. She wished for him to see her, more than she had ever wished before, because the sleeping boy within would be her final hope.
Stepping forward, she moved through the glass as if a ghost, and felt she had entered a safe haven. Inside the room, she felt shielded from everything.
Everything but the moonlight illuminating her from behind with its gentle glow.
She found, surprisingly, that he was not alone here but that his sisters had also wanted to be close. Perhaps they too felt the same safety from the sleeping hero. Orihime smiled knowingly at the thought.
Slowly, she moved closer to the bed, finally allowing herself to truly study the occupant there, and as she did, the rest of the world seemed to melt away. She had always wished for a moment like this though, hadn’t she? In her daydreams she would be in some great danger, and Ichigo would appear and look at her. His eyes would smile as he told her he would save her and that everything would be alright. He would only look at her, in this dream, mirroring the same adoring gaze she gave him. Yes, he was always her hope, and especially so now, and she looked down at him with eyes shining with hidden hope.
But the hero did not awaken. He did not know she was there at all, and she felt her hope falter, her heart squeezing within her chest.
Tentatively, she reached out and took his hand and felt her cheeks redden at the contact.
He will realize I’m here, she thought, suddenly fearful she might get in trouble. And yet, it hardly mattered now. All that mattered was this, what she wanted to communicate. What she had to tell him. What she hoped he heard…
She leaned closer, his breath tickling her cheek. Why was it he still seemed so far away? Orihime moved closer still, desperately wishing for the connection she had always desired with the boy.
Let him know, let him hear me!
Down, down, so close, surely she could reach him if she went just a little further, and then…
Nothing.
Orihime pulled away, tears immediately jumping into her eyes. She had been so close that she could almost feel the pressure of his lips against hers. But even if they had touched she knew it was a lost cause. The truth of it was she could not reach him, and no amount of desperation would allow her to.
Her heart was broken, but she hid it with a smile and awkward laughter. She had really broken it herself, with her silly dreams of what really wasn’t and might never be. But, she also knew, dreams, even seemingly impossible ones, are not so easy to forget, and before she left she had promised him 5 lifetimes of love.
Perhaps, in one of those 5, she would find what she wanted, or at least find peace in what she had.
So her ‘one’ had been him, and she had even ruined the good bye by chickening out in the last second, which wasn’t what happened in the movies or those love-love novels the girls sometimes lent her. Though maybe it didn’t work right because she was in the place of the prince (and he the princess), which was just so backwards to begin with.
(Though the problem had really been her failing heart)
She could not steal a kiss even at the end of this life, nor the next 5 if she won them, because Orihime was selfish enough to want it to be real.
On her way to the meeting point, she took a long way and whispered her good byes to people who wouldn’t hear her. Even so, she felt a little better, because she could never leave anyone she loved out, no matter what Ulquiorra would do to her if he knew.
He said nothing about it when he came for her, merely said a few cold words that she didn’t hear and led her into the dark. She was glad he was leading, because she didn’t want him to see her tears, which were slowly beginning to slide down her cheeks. Then again, he seemed to be permanently crying, so maybe, just maybe, he might understand. Things would be different now, she told herself, but she couldn’t lose her way. Tatsuki told her to never change, so, she couldn’t give up!
Another tear fell.
Good bye, Halcyon days…
Things had changed, and she could not go back, but she could always hold hope.
I’m ready now, to fly from the highest wing.