The opinions of others - mindfulness day 3
So when I was growing up, my mum (who suffers with anxiety disorder and self-image/confidence issues) spent a whole lot of time worrying about how she looked, what other people thought etc. So naturally this was behaviour I learned. Paranoia about being laughed at, gossipped about, sneered at. Unsure whether this is consequence or cause, but both of us are highly critical of others - my mum will keep up a running commentary when we're out together taking apart people's outfits (almost exclusively women, so there's obviously some internalised misogyny there) and such. Of late this has become something I find very upsetting, and I've tried to get across to her that the reason she worries so much about others criticising her is that she's so critical herself.
From my own perspective, I don't fully understand why I care at all about the opinions of people I actively dislike. What does it matter if they don't like me? It's a bit 'dog in the manger' to expect someone you don't have any positive feelings about to think well of you. And yet it matters to me if I'm not liked.
I don't yet have any resolution on this one, but nosce te ipsum and all that.
From my own perspective, I don't fully understand why I care at all about the opinions of people I actively dislike. What does it matter if they don't like me? It's a bit 'dog in the manger' to expect someone you don't have any positive feelings about to think well of you. And yet it matters to me if I'm not liked.
I don't yet have any resolution on this one, but nosce te ipsum and all that.