my glass is full but it tastes like shit...
ive been a ba LJ friend i know... i havent updated much and i coment even less. Im just a tad bit upset emotionally lately.
1. Ive destroyed one of the most beautiful things in my life
2. Ive hurt the most important person in my life
3. My circle of friends is falling apart around me and im pulled in every direction .. everyone is back stabbing everyone... no one is talking to each other... im not fighting with anybody but im being dragged into it just because they are my friends and i dont want to have to choose ...
4. living with my parents is having its toll on me ... i need my space... i need my own food... i need my appartement again and freedom and social life... i cant wait... 1 more month then i go back to university!
5. My 15 year old cousin is going through a crap load of teenage issues and im trying to be there for her the most i can because we have a relationship similar to that of two sisters.
6. Financially im stressed because i owe more money then im making and i might not even get a student loan this year.
7. Although work is ok, im starting to get tired of dealing with some of the drama between employees.
8. ive gained weight this summer instead of losing like i was hoping
9. my allergies are so bad lately leaving me extra irritable and annoyed
10. I find a freaking spider atleast once a day in my room
i feel empty and numb ... i find it hard to smile much lately ... which is so weird because im usually the happy smily person cheering everyone up... add to that, that i have no real life friends to turn to because i have sucha hard time talking to people about my feelings that i dont even wanna think about approaching one of them with my problems and thoguhts... they all have their own poop to deal with anyways.
Ive never cried so much as i have in the past few days. Ive detached myself from people im closest to and have been kinda avoiding big conversations with people. I hate whinning and complaining...and i dont want to start being all negative with people because ive been having a rough time lately.
Im just taking my free time to try and rid my mind temporarily and have some fun so i dont end up a basket case. I just need some time to relaxe and be by myself i guess... bleh... im sorry for the rant... i have nowhere else to turn i guess
1. Ive destroyed one of the most beautiful things in my life
2. Ive hurt the most important person in my life
3. My circle of friends is falling apart around me and im pulled in every direction .. everyone is back stabbing everyone... no one is talking to each other... im not fighting with anybody but im being dragged into it just because they are my friends and i dont want to have to choose ...
4. living with my parents is having its toll on me ... i need my space... i need my own food... i need my appartement again and freedom and social life... i cant wait... 1 more month then i go back to university!
5. My 15 year old cousin is going through a crap load of teenage issues and im trying to be there for her the most i can because we have a relationship similar to that of two sisters.
6. Financially im stressed because i owe more money then im making and i might not even get a student loan this year.
7. Although work is ok, im starting to get tired of dealing with some of the drama between employees.
8. ive gained weight this summer instead of losing like i was hoping
9. my allergies are so bad lately leaving me extra irritable and annoyed
10. I find a freaking spider atleast once a day in my room
i feel empty and numb ... i find it hard to smile much lately ... which is so weird because im usually the happy smily person cheering everyone up... add to that, that i have no real life friends to turn to because i have sucha hard time talking to people about my feelings that i dont even wanna think about approaching one of them with my problems and thoguhts... they all have their own poop to deal with anyways.
Ive never cried so much as i have in the past few days. Ive detached myself from people im closest to and have been kinda avoiding big conversations with people. I hate whinning and complaining...and i dont want to start being all negative with people because ive been having a rough time lately.
Im just taking my free time to try and rid my mind temporarily and have some fun so i dont end up a basket case. I just need some time to relaxe and be by myself i guess... bleh... im sorry for the rant... i have nowhere else to turn i guess