Lies To Tell To Londoners
Lie number 98: you can get from where I work to where I live in 37 minutes. You simply take the overground train, change to the Victoria Line, then hop on the Northern Line at Euston. Simple - all part of living in the ultra-modern world city that is London, ha-bloody-ha.
Today my journey home was as follows. I missed the train from work, because it fooled me by being on time. Thirty minutes later, I caught the next one. Alighting at Tottenham Hale, I was told that there were no southbound Victoria trains owing to "a man under a train somewhere between Seven Sisters and Euston". I ran to catch an overground train to Liverpool Street, and from there caught the Central Line, after a ten minute wait owing to "severe delays". One stop later, I changed at Bank, waited for a northbound train on the right branch, caught that, sat stopped in the tunnel for ten minutes outside Camden, before finally, nearly two hours later, arriving at my destination.
37 minutes my arse, Transport For London.
If all of the above means nothing to you, please offer praise for your good luck to a deity of your choosing. There are many, many reasons to love this city, but the transport network aint one of them.