The Secret Life of Sokka and Zuko -- miss_sanguine
Author: Miss_Sanguine
Title: The Secret Life of Sokka and Zuko
Pairing: Zuko, Mai, Sokka
Rating: T
Disclaimer: Bryke and Nick own Avatar.
Author's Notes: For the ATLALAND lottery under the prompt "Ba Sing Se". It was meant to be for Avatar_500's prompt "Spontaneous" but ended up being far too long. IT TOOK ME FRIGGIN' DAYS TO FINISH THIS. Also, MAJOR thanks to likeacliche . If it weren't for her nudges along the way, and help during writer's block, this fic would have been never finished and instead flushed down the toilet.
Summary: Zuko wakes up hung over in an alley with Sokka the day of an important meeting. And the worst part? They're in dresses.
He was floating somewhere and had no idea how he had gotten there. Everything was black. Some person was pounding on his head with a rock, but when he tried to open his mouth to tell them off, he found that he couldn’t. He couldn’t move anything.
And besides, there was something fuzzy in his mouth. Something really fuzzy, like a rabbit-cat. It was sucking all of the moisture out of his mouth and making his tongue feel like it was in a barren desert. Maybe the person trying to crack his skull open had put the animal there as some sort of joke.
Well. It wasn’t funny. He was going to have to banish whoever it was. If only he could move…
A groaning noise from somewhere started up. It made the blackness swirl in front of him, made his entire head spin around on his neck, and as the spinning grew worse, the noise became louder.
“Wuzzat? Morning?” A heavy and warm object pressed into his shoulder, then snored loudly.
It took a few minutes for Zuko to realize that the incessant groaning was coming from himself, and then another few more for him to realize that the reason he couldn’t see was because his eyes were closed. When he opened them, a light so blinding it made his head split in two was there to greet him and he quickly shut his eyes tight to fend it off.
What in the blazing spirits was going on?
He tried to move again but it felt like a thousand thick blankets were pressing down on him. Then the blankets moved and he realized that they weren’t blankets at all, but a person.
“Git….git offa me…” he managed to croak out, his attempt at sounding threatening failing miserably.
The person nuzzled further into his shoulder and gave off a strange purring sound. “But yer so soft.”
He struggled weakly. “‘m not. Now … Urrg..” A queasiness grabbed his stomach like red-hot pincers and he leaned forward, the other person falling over with a thump and a moan. The movement of his body made his eyes open again and this time the light wasn’t as bad.
He was staring at dirty cobblestones. And something that could have been his robes, but his vision was blurry and his robes came off beige instead of crimson, so he didn’t know for sure. Were those high heeled shoes on his feet?
A glance to his left showed that the person who he had thought was a criminal of some kind was actually Sokka. The man was curled up in a ball on the ground, head resting in a giant puddle of water that was forming around him. His wide-opened mouth showed the water to be drool, and the snores he was making were ear-splitting.
Not to mention he was wearing a dress. A long flowing green dress with yellow trimmings and golden bows.
Zuko blinked blearily at his friend for a moment, mouth hanging open, then looked down at himself again, only to cry out in shock.
“Wha-Sokka! Wake up!”
Through his aching head and spinning thoughts, Zuko crawled toward the other as quickly as possible without falling over. He grabbed Sokka’s shoulder and started to shake him. “Wake up, Sokka!”
Sokka groaned, then rolled onto his back. “Shtop yellin’, Katara.” He put his finger to his lips. “Headache.”
Oh, spirits. How had they ended up like this? Where were their real clothes? Whose clothes were they wearing?
“Sokka!”
“… Hm?” The water tribesman opened his eyes into a squint. “Oh. Hi, Zuko. What-are you wurring makeup?”
----
“We’re in an alley somewhere in Ba Sing Se,” Zuko was saying to himself as he paced. “In dresses.” It was hard to think when it still felt like his brain had become a badgermole and was now trying to dig its way out of his skull. Plus, it was hard to stand when the world still felt like it was spinning. “How are we going to get back to The Jasmine Dragon without being seen?”
“I dunno, but I-“ There was a retching sound and Zuko turned to see Sokka throwing up again on the cobblestones. A few more heaves followed before the water tribesman wiped his mouth on his arm and wibbled a little. “I want to die.”
Personally, Zuko already felt dead, but he wasn’t going to say that. What kind of Fire Lord was he, to go out and get drunk the night before a Peace Council? He didn’t even know what time it was now, and if he was late that would be very bad news. But it couldn’t be worse than showing up hung over and in a dress, could it?
He gave up thinking about it when his pacing turned into a throwing-up fest at his feet, and when he thought his sides were going to burst from excessive heaving, it finally stopped and he fell onto his knees, gasping for breath.
Sokka, who was now lying spread-eagle on his stomach with his face planted into the ground, grunted and said in a muffled voice, “I shay we jusht high-tail it to … Jasmine Dragon and …”
“Just shut up, Sokka.”
“If it makesh you feel any better… your hair is pretty when it’sh up in a headdressh like… like that.”
Zuko moaned and hid his face in his hands.
----
The dash back to the Jasmine Dragon was more like a hobble, with several stops along the way so that Sokka could throw up in a bush or behind a tree. They kept to the shadows as best they could, and luckily no one was out in the streets to see them; most likely because of the huge meeting that was going to take place soon. A meeting he was supposed be at.
Zuko did not enjoy being in a dress. He was used to the heavy robes of the Fire Nation, of the thick material in Earth Kingdom tunics, but this was terrible. He felt exposed. There was only thin material here, two layers at the most, and it caused a very uncomfortable breeze to drift between his legs as he ran. It was also hard not to trip in his current lethargic state-of-mind, and the loose-fitting clothes didn’t help the matter. Sokka was even worse for wear, lumbering around like a grumpy and aged gorilla-rhino and tripping every so often with loud curses.
Zuko’s heart lifted when the Jasmine Dragon loomed into view, closed and seemingly unoccupied; perfect for the two of them to rush up to the building and climb in through the windows to their rooms without being noticed. But just as he was about to quicken his pace, Uncle decided to step out of the front doors with a group of Fire Nation soldiers.
"I’ve told you that I have not seen him," Iroh said. "Not since yesterday."
"Sokka, hide," Zuko hissed, halting in his tracks and grabbing the back of Sokka's dress when the soldiers went to turn around.
"But we're almost--" Sokka didn't get to finish as Zuko shoved him behind the nearest building.”Ow! Just who do you think you are, pushing me around? If I could lift my arms properly, I’d-“
“Sh!” Zuko held a finger up in the other's direction as he peeked around the edge of the building. The guards seemed to be taking their sweet time leaving the courtyard, footsteps slow but deliberate and armor clanking as they filed past. By some stroke of luck or will of the gods, none of them noticed the two men lurking in the shadows just to their left.
His entire staff was probably scouring the city looking for him. He wanted to kick himself for doing something as stupid as he had; wandering off in the middle of the night without telling anyone simply because Sokka had persuaded him to. And spirits; the thought of what Mai would do to him when she found him made his insides turn to ice.
Uncle stood watching the men until they were out of sight, then sighed and shook his head. Zuko watched as he turned to go back inside, breathing a sigh of relief that the cross-dressing torment was about to end, only to suck the breath back in when Iroh stopped in his tracks as if he had heard him. What would he do if Uncle found him like this?
Go back inside, please go back inside.
And, just like that, Iroh stepped in through the doors and closed them behind him.
Thank Agni. “Let’s go,” he said, ears straining for the sound of any other people approaching. He turned to Sokka.
Only to find him fast asleep.
He did not need this. Nor did he feel that he particularly deserved it. He was tempted to just leave him there, but a sense of spite kept him from doing so. If he had to suffer through all of this, then so did Sokka.
The water tribesman definitely looked as miserable as he felt. Dark shadows under his eyes, his face sunken in. The bright red blush on his cheeks and green eye-shadow on his closed lids did nothing to help. Zuko was definitely going to kill him when they were both feeling capable of moving again without gravity pulling at their limbs.
“Damn it, Sokka, wake up!” he said, grabbing the other by his frilly collar and shaking him vigorously.
Sokka’s eyes shot open as he gave a loud yell, arms flailing. “You can’t have my seal jerky!” he cried. He blinked his blood-shot eyes in confusion when he saw Zuko, then narrowed them. “You don’t have to try and rattle my head off my shoulders every time you wake me up, you know.”
Without answering, Zuko turned and headed out into the courtyard again. He heard Sokka scrambling behind him, cursing as he tried to get to his feet. Then he heard him gasp and say, almost lovingly, “Water.”
Sokka was running toward the fountain before Zuko had a say in the matter. Before he knew it, the other had his face completely submerged in the basin, loud slurping noises heard along with several happy humming sounds. Zuko had to admit that water sounded great, the glimmering liquid that his friend was so greedily sucking up like a vacuum looking almost heavenly, but he held back. No way was he going to drink out of a dirty fountain. Even if his tongue was practically pleading for it.
“Get out of there,” he snapped. “That’s disgusting.”
Sokka had either chosen to ignore him, or had passed out face-first in the water. Because the slurping had ended, Zuko was going with the latter. He sighed miserably and stalked over to the other, grabbing the back of his golden headdress and pulling his head out of the water.
“It feels so nice,” Sokka murmured. Makeup and water dribbled down his face and onto his dress. “So cool. You should try it, Zuko.”
“I’ll pass.”
“I think I’ll just stay here for a little-Hey!”
Zuko had him by the back of his nape and was dragging him toward the Jasmine Dragon before he could finish.
“Fine, fine. I’m coming. Just let go of me!”
-----
It hadn’t been that hard to find the window looking into Sokka’s room. He had contemplated using his own, but with the chance that Mai might be there, Zuko had decided to try the other. Suki wasn’t there in Ba Sing Se with them, making the privacy of Sokka’s room ideal for their current ordeal.
The only problem was that the window was rather high, and Sokka, although more awake since splashing off a little, was still incapable of using his limbs properly. It made it even worse that they were in dresses.
And so Sokka had come up with the “genius” plan of climbing in first by having Zuko all but shove him in. Which worked well for the most part, except that Sokka was as heavy as he looked, and it was hard for Zuko not to get caught in the loose fabric of his clothes, and his stupid headdress kept getting in the way. Heaven forbid he look up and see something he did not want to see.
He knew Sokka made it in when the weight finally lifted from his aching shoulders and he heard a loud THUNK! from inside the room.
Now it was his turn, and he was not looking forward to testing the climbing limits one had when in a dress. How did girls wear these? They were impractical. Nonetheless, he managed to grab the sill of the window and anchor himself in and over with his arms, slumping to the floor on his belly like a worm. The first thing he saw when he stood up was Sokka already curled up on his bed, asleep. The second was something he only had time to register as a red and golden blur before he was up against the wall and unable to move.
Then he saw what it was-or more precisely, who.
“Mai!” he squeaked. He struggled weakly against the knives that held him, but this entire day had drained him of what energy he had left. The spirits hated him for some reason.
The tightness to Mai’s mouth showed that she was furious, and yet there was also a glint of-what? Amusement?-in her eyes. “You thought you could just run off in the middle of the night without telling anyone where you were going?” she asked.
So many excuses flooded into his head at that moment. Sokka tricked me. He said we’d only be out for an hour. But the only thing that came out of his mouth was a feeble, “I’m sorry.”
She smiled. A smile that made his heart sink down into his almost-settled stomach. “You have a meeting in half an hour,” she said. “No time to get dressed.” She came up to him and ran her finger along his chin, making him shudder in longing despite himself. “Though I’m definitely going to have to help you redo your makeup. Purple just isn’t your color.”
Oh, yes. The spirits definitely hated him.
Title: The Secret Life of Sokka and Zuko
Pairing: Zuko, Mai, Sokka
Rating: T
Disclaimer: Bryke and Nick own Avatar.
Author's Notes: For the ATLALAND lottery under the prompt "Ba Sing Se". It was meant to be for Avatar_500's prompt "Spontaneous" but ended up being far too long. IT TOOK ME FRIGGIN' DAYS TO FINISH THIS. Also, MAJOR thanks to likeacliche . If it weren't for her nudges along the way, and help during writer's block, this fic would have been never finished and instead flushed down the toilet.
Summary: Zuko wakes up hung over in an alley with Sokka the day of an important meeting. And the worst part? They're in dresses.
He was floating somewhere and had no idea how he had gotten there. Everything was black. Some person was pounding on his head with a rock, but when he tried to open his mouth to tell them off, he found that he couldn’t. He couldn’t move anything.
And besides, there was something fuzzy in his mouth. Something really fuzzy, like a rabbit-cat. It was sucking all of the moisture out of his mouth and making his tongue feel like it was in a barren desert. Maybe the person trying to crack his skull open had put the animal there as some sort of joke.
Well. It wasn’t funny. He was going to have to banish whoever it was. If only he could move…
A groaning noise from somewhere started up. It made the blackness swirl in front of him, made his entire head spin around on his neck, and as the spinning grew worse, the noise became louder.
“Wuzzat? Morning?” A heavy and warm object pressed into his shoulder, then snored loudly.
It took a few minutes for Zuko to realize that the incessant groaning was coming from himself, and then another few more for him to realize that the reason he couldn’t see was because his eyes were closed. When he opened them, a light so blinding it made his head split in two was there to greet him and he quickly shut his eyes tight to fend it off.
What in the blazing spirits was going on?
He tried to move again but it felt like a thousand thick blankets were pressing down on him. Then the blankets moved and he realized that they weren’t blankets at all, but a person.
“Git….git offa me…” he managed to croak out, his attempt at sounding threatening failing miserably.
The person nuzzled further into his shoulder and gave off a strange purring sound. “But yer so soft.”
He struggled weakly. “‘m not. Now … Urrg..” A queasiness grabbed his stomach like red-hot pincers and he leaned forward, the other person falling over with a thump and a moan. The movement of his body made his eyes open again and this time the light wasn’t as bad.
He was staring at dirty cobblestones. And something that could have been his robes, but his vision was blurry and his robes came off beige instead of crimson, so he didn’t know for sure. Were those high heeled shoes on his feet?
A glance to his left showed that the person who he had thought was a criminal of some kind was actually Sokka. The man was curled up in a ball on the ground, head resting in a giant puddle of water that was forming around him. His wide-opened mouth showed the water to be drool, and the snores he was making were ear-splitting.
Not to mention he was wearing a dress. A long flowing green dress with yellow trimmings and golden bows.
Zuko blinked blearily at his friend for a moment, mouth hanging open, then looked down at himself again, only to cry out in shock.
“Wha-Sokka! Wake up!”
Through his aching head and spinning thoughts, Zuko crawled toward the other as quickly as possible without falling over. He grabbed Sokka’s shoulder and started to shake him. “Wake up, Sokka!”
Sokka groaned, then rolled onto his back. “Shtop yellin’, Katara.” He put his finger to his lips. “Headache.”
Oh, spirits. How had they ended up like this? Where were their real clothes? Whose clothes were they wearing?
“Sokka!”
“… Hm?” The water tribesman opened his eyes into a squint. “Oh. Hi, Zuko. What-are you wurring makeup?”
----
“We’re in an alley somewhere in Ba Sing Se,” Zuko was saying to himself as he paced. “In dresses.” It was hard to think when it still felt like his brain had become a badgermole and was now trying to dig its way out of his skull. Plus, it was hard to stand when the world still felt like it was spinning. “How are we going to get back to The Jasmine Dragon without being seen?”
“I dunno, but I-“ There was a retching sound and Zuko turned to see Sokka throwing up again on the cobblestones. A few more heaves followed before the water tribesman wiped his mouth on his arm and wibbled a little. “I want to die.”
Personally, Zuko already felt dead, but he wasn’t going to say that. What kind of Fire Lord was he, to go out and get drunk the night before a Peace Council? He didn’t even know what time it was now, and if he was late that would be very bad news. But it couldn’t be worse than showing up hung over and in a dress, could it?
He gave up thinking about it when his pacing turned into a throwing-up fest at his feet, and when he thought his sides were going to burst from excessive heaving, it finally stopped and he fell onto his knees, gasping for breath.
Sokka, who was now lying spread-eagle on his stomach with his face planted into the ground, grunted and said in a muffled voice, “I shay we jusht high-tail it to … Jasmine Dragon and …”
“Just shut up, Sokka.”
“If it makesh you feel any better… your hair is pretty when it’sh up in a headdressh like… like that.”
Zuko moaned and hid his face in his hands.
----
The dash back to the Jasmine Dragon was more like a hobble, with several stops along the way so that Sokka could throw up in a bush or behind a tree. They kept to the shadows as best they could, and luckily no one was out in the streets to see them; most likely because of the huge meeting that was going to take place soon. A meeting he was supposed be at.
Zuko did not enjoy being in a dress. He was used to the heavy robes of the Fire Nation, of the thick material in Earth Kingdom tunics, but this was terrible. He felt exposed. There was only thin material here, two layers at the most, and it caused a very uncomfortable breeze to drift between his legs as he ran. It was also hard not to trip in his current lethargic state-of-mind, and the loose-fitting clothes didn’t help the matter. Sokka was even worse for wear, lumbering around like a grumpy and aged gorilla-rhino and tripping every so often with loud curses.
Zuko’s heart lifted when the Jasmine Dragon loomed into view, closed and seemingly unoccupied; perfect for the two of them to rush up to the building and climb in through the windows to their rooms without being noticed. But just as he was about to quicken his pace, Uncle decided to step out of the front doors with a group of Fire Nation soldiers.
"I’ve told you that I have not seen him," Iroh said. "Not since yesterday."
"Sokka, hide," Zuko hissed, halting in his tracks and grabbing the back of Sokka's dress when the soldiers went to turn around.
"But we're almost--" Sokka didn't get to finish as Zuko shoved him behind the nearest building.”Ow! Just who do you think you are, pushing me around? If I could lift my arms properly, I’d-“
“Sh!” Zuko held a finger up in the other's direction as he peeked around the edge of the building. The guards seemed to be taking their sweet time leaving the courtyard, footsteps slow but deliberate and armor clanking as they filed past. By some stroke of luck or will of the gods, none of them noticed the two men lurking in the shadows just to their left.
His entire staff was probably scouring the city looking for him. He wanted to kick himself for doing something as stupid as he had; wandering off in the middle of the night without telling anyone simply because Sokka had persuaded him to. And spirits; the thought of what Mai would do to him when she found him made his insides turn to ice.
Uncle stood watching the men until they were out of sight, then sighed and shook his head. Zuko watched as he turned to go back inside, breathing a sigh of relief that the cross-dressing torment was about to end, only to suck the breath back in when Iroh stopped in his tracks as if he had heard him. What would he do if Uncle found him like this?
Go back inside, please go back inside.
And, just like that, Iroh stepped in through the doors and closed them behind him.
Thank Agni. “Let’s go,” he said, ears straining for the sound of any other people approaching. He turned to Sokka.
Only to find him fast asleep.
He did not need this. Nor did he feel that he particularly deserved it. He was tempted to just leave him there, but a sense of spite kept him from doing so. If he had to suffer through all of this, then so did Sokka.
The water tribesman definitely looked as miserable as he felt. Dark shadows under his eyes, his face sunken in. The bright red blush on his cheeks and green eye-shadow on his closed lids did nothing to help. Zuko was definitely going to kill him when they were both feeling capable of moving again without gravity pulling at their limbs.
“Damn it, Sokka, wake up!” he said, grabbing the other by his frilly collar and shaking him vigorously.
Sokka’s eyes shot open as he gave a loud yell, arms flailing. “You can’t have my seal jerky!” he cried. He blinked his blood-shot eyes in confusion when he saw Zuko, then narrowed them. “You don’t have to try and rattle my head off my shoulders every time you wake me up, you know.”
Without answering, Zuko turned and headed out into the courtyard again. He heard Sokka scrambling behind him, cursing as he tried to get to his feet. Then he heard him gasp and say, almost lovingly, “Water.”
Sokka was running toward the fountain before Zuko had a say in the matter. Before he knew it, the other had his face completely submerged in the basin, loud slurping noises heard along with several happy humming sounds. Zuko had to admit that water sounded great, the glimmering liquid that his friend was so greedily sucking up like a vacuum looking almost heavenly, but he held back. No way was he going to drink out of a dirty fountain. Even if his tongue was practically pleading for it.
“Get out of there,” he snapped. “That’s disgusting.”
Sokka had either chosen to ignore him, or had passed out face-first in the water. Because the slurping had ended, Zuko was going with the latter. He sighed miserably and stalked over to the other, grabbing the back of his golden headdress and pulling his head out of the water.
“It feels so nice,” Sokka murmured. Makeup and water dribbled down his face and onto his dress. “So cool. You should try it, Zuko.”
“I’ll pass.”
“I think I’ll just stay here for a little-Hey!”
Zuko had him by the back of his nape and was dragging him toward the Jasmine Dragon before he could finish.
“Fine, fine. I’m coming. Just let go of me!”
-----
It hadn’t been that hard to find the window looking into Sokka’s room. He had contemplated using his own, but with the chance that Mai might be there, Zuko had decided to try the other. Suki wasn’t there in Ba Sing Se with them, making the privacy of Sokka’s room ideal for their current ordeal.
The only problem was that the window was rather high, and Sokka, although more awake since splashing off a little, was still incapable of using his limbs properly. It made it even worse that they were in dresses.
And so Sokka had come up with the “genius” plan of climbing in first by having Zuko all but shove him in. Which worked well for the most part, except that Sokka was as heavy as he looked, and it was hard for Zuko not to get caught in the loose fabric of his clothes, and his stupid headdress kept getting in the way. Heaven forbid he look up and see something he did not want to see.
He knew Sokka made it in when the weight finally lifted from his aching shoulders and he heard a loud THUNK! from inside the room.
Now it was his turn, and he was not looking forward to testing the climbing limits one had when in a dress. How did girls wear these? They were impractical. Nonetheless, he managed to grab the sill of the window and anchor himself in and over with his arms, slumping to the floor on his belly like a worm. The first thing he saw when he stood up was Sokka already curled up on his bed, asleep. The second was something he only had time to register as a red and golden blur before he was up against the wall and unable to move.
Then he saw what it was-or more precisely, who.
“Mai!” he squeaked. He struggled weakly against the knives that held him, but this entire day had drained him of what energy he had left. The spirits hated him for some reason.
The tightness to Mai’s mouth showed that she was furious, and yet there was also a glint of-what? Amusement?-in her eyes. “You thought you could just run off in the middle of the night without telling anyone where you were going?” she asked.
So many excuses flooded into his head at that moment. Sokka tricked me. He said we’d only be out for an hour. But the only thing that came out of his mouth was a feeble, “I’m sorry.”
She smiled. A smile that made his heart sink down into his almost-settled stomach. “You have a meeting in half an hour,” she said. “No time to get dressed.” She came up to him and ran her finger along his chin, making him shudder in longing despite himself. “Though I’m definitely going to have to help you redo your makeup. Purple just isn’t your color.”
Oh, yes. The spirits definitely hated him.