The Revenant -- Miss_Sanguine
Title: The Revenant
Author: miss_sanguine
Word Count: 2,550 (this chapter)
Rating: K+
Author's Note: Again, no one will really get this unless they are active participants in CAPS Chat's plot, or unless they keep up-to-date on the logs. This fic basically came into my mind one evening when I was in my own little world. I was narrating it in my mind and playing it out like a movie and it got to this really interesting part and I said to myself, "WHY AREN'T YOU WRITING THIS DOWN?" so here it is. Rev is possessing Sokka and I'm taking some liberties with that fact. Dedicated to chat, and more especially, to pineconecircus
In this Chapter: Sokka is plagued by thoughts and nightmares and decides to leave his friends for a while, only to have an unexpected--yet not unexpected--person join him.
“Are you sure you’re feeling better, Sokka?” Katara was staring at him in concern from across the table, her hand on her spoon.
Sokka, arms still folded as he glowered down at the table in thought, looked to her, brows furrowed. “I said I’m fine.”
“But you haven’t touched your food yet,” Toph said. He didn’t even bother asking how she knew this, despite her not even being at the table and instead all the way on the other side of the room. She was leaning back on one of the palace chairs, feet propped on another and a bowl resting in her lap, empty by the looks of it.
“So?”
“So,” the blind earthbender continued, “that’s unusual. And not just because you’re Sokka, the black-hole-for-a-stomach guy. After everything you’ve been through, you’d think you be starving.”
Aang nodded from his place at the table. “Toph’s right,” he said. The boy still appeared somewhat sheepish when speaking to him, apparently not having gotten over the fact that he had almost killed him not too long ago; his voice was low, almost apologetic. “You’ve been through a lot. You should eat.”
“Look,” Sokka said, the strange temper that had been hounding him since his recovery surfacing for a moment. He shoved his plate away and stood, glaring at them all. “I’m not hungry, all right? That’s not a crime. I don’t see you hounding Zuko about eating, and he hasn’t been out of his room all evening!”
Everyone-except for Toph-was looking at him now, mixtures of surprise and pity on their faces. He could feel the stares of the servants that were near the back of the dining hall boring into the back of his head.
“We’re just worried about you,” said Katara, voice calm. “How could we not be?”
“Yeah, well,” he said. “Stop it.” And with that said, he turned on his heels and walked out, all the while his feelings taking on a voice of their own.
They don’t really care about you, the voice asserted. They feel guilty for having let a problem go on for so long without knowing. And Aang’s just trying to make up for having almost committed murder. They didn’t even realize you were gone until the last minute.
And then the memory came. He could see it somehow, bubbling up in his mind even though it wasn’t his own; the spirit Rev in his body, impersonating him, and no one noticing. Quoro, who’d even told them all that the Sokka they were seeing was not the real Sokka, doing nothing about it.
Quoro also saw you when you were with Soh, but he did nothing. He was more concerned about Kara. He let Soh have his way with you.
The words haunted him as he walked, hissing concerns that he thought he’d gotten over long ago and bringing up long-forgotten doubts; he was the underdog, no one cared about him until they had to, the only time they ever needed him was when they couldn’t come up with a plan of their own. By the time he’d reached the guest chamber where he slept, he was as depressed as he could ever remember being. A cloud of insuppressible darkness hung over his head so heavily that he wouldn’t have been surprised if one of the guards he had passed had seen it.
Without bothering to change, he blew out the lights, flopped onto his bed, and immediately fell into a troubled slumber.
His dreams were muddled, images here and there that he couldn’t quite grasp; sitting in a chair in a cave, two faceless figures staring him down; a cold, sick sensation as they loomed closer. Then he was watching Yue die in his arms, the last words on her breath fading away before he could understand them. Blood pooled into his hands, warm and sticky, from a wound somewhere on her person, and then with a jolt he realized that it was his blood and that she had thrust a knife into his arm.
He jerked back with a cry, dropping Yue to the ground and grabbing at the hilt of the blade. The pain was tremendous, and even as he tried to pull the weapon free, already he knew there was nothing he could do. A puddle of his own life’s blood was forming at his feet, as black as the night sky.
I’m going to die, he thought, the reality of the situation pulling him into a state of panic. The helplessness he felt was beyond anything he’d ever experienced; the fact that there was nothing he could do to stop himself from perishing. He was facing his own mortality.
Katara, Aang, everyone was suddenly there to watch him. They pointed and laughed, ignored his pleas for help. As he fell to his knees, still grasping his arm, he noticed a figure in the crowd that he’d hoped to never see again. The cat-fox was smirking at him, blue eyes glinting with hunger.
With a shout, Sokka shot up in bed. The spot on his left arm where Rev had previously clawed him throbbed with horrible pain and he clutched at it, teeth clenching. Under his sweat-drenched clothes, his heart tried to hammer its way out of his chest. From outside of his room, the sounds of the night continued on undisturbed.
Already his dream was dimming in the summer night, but he still felt the horrible knot in his stomach that tended to follow after a nightmare. He gave an annoyed choking sound and looked down at his aching arm. It was too dark to see anything clearly, but as far as he could tell, everything was fine. It made no sense for it to be hurting. Katara had healed it not-too-long ago. Maybe it was just because of the dream? An after-effect of whatever it was that had happened?
You’re not happy here.
He glanced toward his window. Though it was closed, the moon’s light still shone in through the thin silk curtains.
You’re not appreciated.
As if pulled by an invisible string, Sokka rose from his bed and opened the window, looking out at the dark scenery beyond. The sun would not be rising for several more hours; he’d not been asleep for very long. No one would notice if he slipped away. What would they care, anyways?
Before he knew it, he was packing his few belongings away in the knapsack he had brought with him when coming to the Fire Nation. His ears were straining for the slightest of sounds outside of his door, and once he thought he had heard something, a slight rustle, but it did not pop up again. Nonetheless, he squinted suspiciously at the door for several seconds, as if daring whatever or whomever it might be to come in, before his nerves were assuaged.
When his bag was packed and slung over his shoulder, his sword at his waist, Sokka did a quick look around the room to make sure he hadn’t missed anything. It was hard to tell in the dark, but he was pretty sure he hadn’t. Then he made his way for the door, opening it slowly to make as little noise as possible.
“Going somewhere?” a bold voice roared up out of the gloom from beyond the door. Okay, so it hadn’t been that loud, but as he was used to the quiet whisperings of the night, it had seemed like it, and he leapt back, arms flailing, holding onto a scream.
Though it was dark, he knew who it was, and when his heart started beating again, he glared at her. For some reason, the sight of her made his previous temper flare up. “Go away, Toph,” he said. What was she doing outside of his room for, anyhow?
“I heard a shout earlier,” the girl went on, ignoring him. “Came to check on you.” She leaned against the doorframe now, arms folded. It was here that he noticed she was still in the day-clothes she’d been wearing when he’d seen her at dinner. Had she not changed at all? Why would she--
“You’ve been watching me, haven’t you?” he asked in disbelief that suddenly turned to anger. Of course she would.
She doesn’t think you can take care of yourself. She’s been spying on you, as if you were a child. There could be no other reason.
Without waiting for an answer, he stormed past the young earthbender. He heard her call out behind him but did not stop. It was only when she forced herself directly in front of him, refusing to move out of his way as he danced around to find an opening, that he had to confront her.
His hands tightened into angry fists, nails biting into his skin. It was all he could do not to…
… To what, exactly? As irate as he was, he couldn’t imagine doing anything horrible to Toph. The only time he’d been angry enough to hurt someone was when Azula had taunted him with news of Suki.
Toph didn’t seem to be upset that he was angry, or was at least putting on a good show of it. In fact, the look of genuine concern on her face was what surprised him into stopping his ever-going attempt to get past her. “Would you calm down for a second?” was all she said.
“What?” he snapped, now glaring at her even though he knew she couldn’t see him. At this her brows rose and the look of worry she’d allowed to escape was overlapped by her usual smugness.
“Who put sand in your pants, flatfoot?”
He rolled his eyes. “Funny,” he said. “Is that all?”
“Look, wherever it is you’re going, I’m going with you.”
“No. I need to be on my own for a while.”
Toph laughed. “Yeah. A lot of good that did you before, and you were only on your own for a few minutes. Hate to break it to you, but you attract bad luck. Someone’s gotta be with you to make sure you don’t end up dead.”
See? No one thinks that you can take care of yourself. You are nothing in the eyes of your friends; someone to constantly look after. You do not need them.
This time when he went forward, Toph did not stop him. She moved aside and allowed him to continue down the dimly-lit corridor. He could hear her following him, however, her soft footfalls on the wooden floor not going unnoticed by his night-keen senses. For the moment he ignored her, though, concentrating on getting out of the palace without anyone else being any the wiser.
There were no servants in the hall at this time of night, and if there were guards, they were placed well enough that he could not see them. The only things moving were the flickering flames on the torches, and him and Toph.
The air outside was cool against his skin and he felt his spirits lighten somewhat when a refreshing breeze tousled his hair, which had by now come undone and was sprawling around his face. In spite of this, his good mood was a short one, especially when he heard Toph say casually from behind him, “Nice night. So where are we going and how are we getting there?”
“We’re not going anywhere.” He turned to face her. “I’m going to the Earth Kingdom.”
“Uh-huh.” She didn’t seem to have heard him, at least not what he thought was the most important part. “And how are we getting to the Earth Kingdom? We can’t exactly walk there.”
This was a good point, whether or not she seemed to understand that she wasn’t coming. He hadn’t exactly thought this entire plan through-in fact, the idea of going to the Earth Kingdom had only just come to him-he had just been following the instinctual tug that had been in his mind ever since he’d got his memories back.
Aang owes you, came the voice which he could only imagine, as he’d earlier assumed, were his inner thoughts taking flight. Stress could do that to a person, right? And he had been through quite a bit in the last few.. what was it? Days?
“Appa.”
“What?”
“I’m taking Appa,” he answered and looked away from her.
Toph was silent for a few seconds, then said, “And does Aang know about this?”
He was already walking toward where he knew the specially-made pavilion was that held the bison. “He hasn’t used Appa in forever, Toph,” he said, trying to justify his actions to both her and himself. He knew he should have felt bad for what he was going to do, but something held him from it. All he could think about was how Aang was indebted to him, how he deserved this. It was as though an impalpable fog was clouding his mind, allowing him to see only what it wanted. It bothered him, yet at the same time comforted him. He couldn’t remember ever having been so sure about something.
“Right. Something is up with you, flatfoot, and I’m going to get to the bottom of it.” And once again she was following him, much to his disgruntlement.
----
Appa, as was to be expected, was not particularly inclined to wake for the two of them. The bison had grown comfortable on the palace grounds, being pampered by the servants on a constant basis. He did not move an inch as Sokka secured his saddle with the help of Toph, nor did he open his eyes as the water tribesman tied down his belongings. Two sleeping bags were still fixed to the back.
“You people like picking the most uncomfortable means of travel, don’t you?” Toph asked, hands on her hips as she waited for Sokka to finish up.
“It’s not uncomfortable for me,” he said simply, climbing down Appa’s side and then brushing himself off. “And that’s all that matters, since you’re not going.” He was annoyed to see that she had her satchel hanging over her shoulder, packed with things he could only imagine. It was impossible for her to have had time to bundle things together before coming to see him. Wasn’t it?
“You’ve got everything you need, flatfoot?” Again with ignoring him. “Clothes? Weapons? Food?”
… Damn. He slumped a little where he stood.
“Yeah. Thought so. Gimme a minute. I’ll go snatch us some grub from the kitchens.”
He watched her leave, heart racing. Now was the time to leave. He could worry about food later.
… But he didn’t move, even though the voice in his head urged him to go on without her. He didn’t know why, but some small part of him wanted Toph to come. As much as he wanted to be alone, he was reminded of how lonely he had felt when he had been Zarka. The ever-present darkness that had shadowed him wherever he had gone. He was afraid of it, though he would never admit that. Afraid of something that was still tailing him.
And so, after re-securing the goods to make room for the now “borrowed” kitchen food, both he and Toph left the Fire Nation, never looking back.
Author: miss_sanguine
Word Count: 2,550 (this chapter)
Rating: K+
Author's Note: Again, no one will really get this unless they are active participants in CAPS Chat's plot, or unless they keep up-to-date on the logs. This fic basically came into my mind one evening when I was in my own little world. I was narrating it in my mind and playing it out like a movie and it got to this really interesting part and I said to myself, "WHY AREN'T YOU WRITING THIS DOWN?" so here it is. Rev is possessing Sokka and I'm taking some liberties with that fact. Dedicated to chat, and more especially, to pineconecircus
In this Chapter: Sokka is plagued by thoughts and nightmares and decides to leave his friends for a while, only to have an unexpected--yet not unexpected--person join him.
“Are you sure you’re feeling better, Sokka?” Katara was staring at him in concern from across the table, her hand on her spoon.
Sokka, arms still folded as he glowered down at the table in thought, looked to her, brows furrowed. “I said I’m fine.”
“But you haven’t touched your food yet,” Toph said. He didn’t even bother asking how she knew this, despite her not even being at the table and instead all the way on the other side of the room. She was leaning back on one of the palace chairs, feet propped on another and a bowl resting in her lap, empty by the looks of it.
“So?”
“So,” the blind earthbender continued, “that’s unusual. And not just because you’re Sokka, the black-hole-for-a-stomach guy. After everything you’ve been through, you’d think you be starving.”
Aang nodded from his place at the table. “Toph’s right,” he said. The boy still appeared somewhat sheepish when speaking to him, apparently not having gotten over the fact that he had almost killed him not too long ago; his voice was low, almost apologetic. “You’ve been through a lot. You should eat.”
“Look,” Sokka said, the strange temper that had been hounding him since his recovery surfacing for a moment. He shoved his plate away and stood, glaring at them all. “I’m not hungry, all right? That’s not a crime. I don’t see you hounding Zuko about eating, and he hasn’t been out of his room all evening!”
Everyone-except for Toph-was looking at him now, mixtures of surprise and pity on their faces. He could feel the stares of the servants that were near the back of the dining hall boring into the back of his head.
“We’re just worried about you,” said Katara, voice calm. “How could we not be?”
“Yeah, well,” he said. “Stop it.” And with that said, he turned on his heels and walked out, all the while his feelings taking on a voice of their own.
They don’t really care about you, the voice asserted. They feel guilty for having let a problem go on for so long without knowing. And Aang’s just trying to make up for having almost committed murder. They didn’t even realize you were gone until the last minute.
And then the memory came. He could see it somehow, bubbling up in his mind even though it wasn’t his own; the spirit Rev in his body, impersonating him, and no one noticing. Quoro, who’d even told them all that the Sokka they were seeing was not the real Sokka, doing nothing about it.
Quoro also saw you when you were with Soh, but he did nothing. He was more concerned about Kara. He let Soh have his way with you.
The words haunted him as he walked, hissing concerns that he thought he’d gotten over long ago and bringing up long-forgotten doubts; he was the underdog, no one cared about him until they had to, the only time they ever needed him was when they couldn’t come up with a plan of their own. By the time he’d reached the guest chamber where he slept, he was as depressed as he could ever remember being. A cloud of insuppressible darkness hung over his head so heavily that he wouldn’t have been surprised if one of the guards he had passed had seen it.
Without bothering to change, he blew out the lights, flopped onto his bed, and immediately fell into a troubled slumber.
His dreams were muddled, images here and there that he couldn’t quite grasp; sitting in a chair in a cave, two faceless figures staring him down; a cold, sick sensation as they loomed closer. Then he was watching Yue die in his arms, the last words on her breath fading away before he could understand them. Blood pooled into his hands, warm and sticky, from a wound somewhere on her person, and then with a jolt he realized that it was his blood and that she had thrust a knife into his arm.
He jerked back with a cry, dropping Yue to the ground and grabbing at the hilt of the blade. The pain was tremendous, and even as he tried to pull the weapon free, already he knew there was nothing he could do. A puddle of his own life’s blood was forming at his feet, as black as the night sky.
I’m going to die, he thought, the reality of the situation pulling him into a state of panic. The helplessness he felt was beyond anything he’d ever experienced; the fact that there was nothing he could do to stop himself from perishing. He was facing his own mortality.
Katara, Aang, everyone was suddenly there to watch him. They pointed and laughed, ignored his pleas for help. As he fell to his knees, still grasping his arm, he noticed a figure in the crowd that he’d hoped to never see again. The cat-fox was smirking at him, blue eyes glinting with hunger.
With a shout, Sokka shot up in bed. The spot on his left arm where Rev had previously clawed him throbbed with horrible pain and he clutched at it, teeth clenching. Under his sweat-drenched clothes, his heart tried to hammer its way out of his chest. From outside of his room, the sounds of the night continued on undisturbed.
Already his dream was dimming in the summer night, but he still felt the horrible knot in his stomach that tended to follow after a nightmare. He gave an annoyed choking sound and looked down at his aching arm. It was too dark to see anything clearly, but as far as he could tell, everything was fine. It made no sense for it to be hurting. Katara had healed it not-too-long ago. Maybe it was just because of the dream? An after-effect of whatever it was that had happened?
You’re not happy here.
He glanced toward his window. Though it was closed, the moon’s light still shone in through the thin silk curtains.
You’re not appreciated.
As if pulled by an invisible string, Sokka rose from his bed and opened the window, looking out at the dark scenery beyond. The sun would not be rising for several more hours; he’d not been asleep for very long. No one would notice if he slipped away. What would they care, anyways?
Before he knew it, he was packing his few belongings away in the knapsack he had brought with him when coming to the Fire Nation. His ears were straining for the slightest of sounds outside of his door, and once he thought he had heard something, a slight rustle, but it did not pop up again. Nonetheless, he squinted suspiciously at the door for several seconds, as if daring whatever or whomever it might be to come in, before his nerves were assuaged.
When his bag was packed and slung over his shoulder, his sword at his waist, Sokka did a quick look around the room to make sure he hadn’t missed anything. It was hard to tell in the dark, but he was pretty sure he hadn’t. Then he made his way for the door, opening it slowly to make as little noise as possible.
“Going somewhere?” a bold voice roared up out of the gloom from beyond the door. Okay, so it hadn’t been that loud, but as he was used to the quiet whisperings of the night, it had seemed like it, and he leapt back, arms flailing, holding onto a scream.
Though it was dark, he knew who it was, and when his heart started beating again, he glared at her. For some reason, the sight of her made his previous temper flare up. “Go away, Toph,” he said. What was she doing outside of his room for, anyhow?
“I heard a shout earlier,” the girl went on, ignoring him. “Came to check on you.” She leaned against the doorframe now, arms folded. It was here that he noticed she was still in the day-clothes she’d been wearing when he’d seen her at dinner. Had she not changed at all? Why would she--
“You’ve been watching me, haven’t you?” he asked in disbelief that suddenly turned to anger. Of course she would.
She doesn’t think you can take care of yourself. She’s been spying on you, as if you were a child. There could be no other reason.
Without waiting for an answer, he stormed past the young earthbender. He heard her call out behind him but did not stop. It was only when she forced herself directly in front of him, refusing to move out of his way as he danced around to find an opening, that he had to confront her.
His hands tightened into angry fists, nails biting into his skin. It was all he could do not to…
… To what, exactly? As irate as he was, he couldn’t imagine doing anything horrible to Toph. The only time he’d been angry enough to hurt someone was when Azula had taunted him with news of Suki.
Toph didn’t seem to be upset that he was angry, or was at least putting on a good show of it. In fact, the look of genuine concern on her face was what surprised him into stopping his ever-going attempt to get past her. “Would you calm down for a second?” was all she said.
“What?” he snapped, now glaring at her even though he knew she couldn’t see him. At this her brows rose and the look of worry she’d allowed to escape was overlapped by her usual smugness.
“Who put sand in your pants, flatfoot?”
He rolled his eyes. “Funny,” he said. “Is that all?”
“Look, wherever it is you’re going, I’m going with you.”
“No. I need to be on my own for a while.”
Toph laughed. “Yeah. A lot of good that did you before, and you were only on your own for a few minutes. Hate to break it to you, but you attract bad luck. Someone’s gotta be with you to make sure you don’t end up dead.”
See? No one thinks that you can take care of yourself. You are nothing in the eyes of your friends; someone to constantly look after. You do not need them.
This time when he went forward, Toph did not stop him. She moved aside and allowed him to continue down the dimly-lit corridor. He could hear her following him, however, her soft footfalls on the wooden floor not going unnoticed by his night-keen senses. For the moment he ignored her, though, concentrating on getting out of the palace without anyone else being any the wiser.
There were no servants in the hall at this time of night, and if there were guards, they were placed well enough that he could not see them. The only things moving were the flickering flames on the torches, and him and Toph.
The air outside was cool against his skin and he felt his spirits lighten somewhat when a refreshing breeze tousled his hair, which had by now come undone and was sprawling around his face. In spite of this, his good mood was a short one, especially when he heard Toph say casually from behind him, “Nice night. So where are we going and how are we getting there?”
“We’re not going anywhere.” He turned to face her. “I’m going to the Earth Kingdom.”
“Uh-huh.” She didn’t seem to have heard him, at least not what he thought was the most important part. “And how are we getting to the Earth Kingdom? We can’t exactly walk there.”
This was a good point, whether or not she seemed to understand that she wasn’t coming. He hadn’t exactly thought this entire plan through-in fact, the idea of going to the Earth Kingdom had only just come to him-he had just been following the instinctual tug that had been in his mind ever since he’d got his memories back.
Aang owes you, came the voice which he could only imagine, as he’d earlier assumed, were his inner thoughts taking flight. Stress could do that to a person, right? And he had been through quite a bit in the last few.. what was it? Days?
“Appa.”
“What?”
“I’m taking Appa,” he answered and looked away from her.
Toph was silent for a few seconds, then said, “And does Aang know about this?”
He was already walking toward where he knew the specially-made pavilion was that held the bison. “He hasn’t used Appa in forever, Toph,” he said, trying to justify his actions to both her and himself. He knew he should have felt bad for what he was going to do, but something held him from it. All he could think about was how Aang was indebted to him, how he deserved this. It was as though an impalpable fog was clouding his mind, allowing him to see only what it wanted. It bothered him, yet at the same time comforted him. He couldn’t remember ever having been so sure about something.
“Right. Something is up with you, flatfoot, and I’m going to get to the bottom of it.” And once again she was following him, much to his disgruntlement.
----
Appa, as was to be expected, was not particularly inclined to wake for the two of them. The bison had grown comfortable on the palace grounds, being pampered by the servants on a constant basis. He did not move an inch as Sokka secured his saddle with the help of Toph, nor did he open his eyes as the water tribesman tied down his belongings. Two sleeping bags were still fixed to the back.
“You people like picking the most uncomfortable means of travel, don’t you?” Toph asked, hands on her hips as she waited for Sokka to finish up.
“It’s not uncomfortable for me,” he said simply, climbing down Appa’s side and then brushing himself off. “And that’s all that matters, since you’re not going.” He was annoyed to see that she had her satchel hanging over her shoulder, packed with things he could only imagine. It was impossible for her to have had time to bundle things together before coming to see him. Wasn’t it?
“You’ve got everything you need, flatfoot?” Again with ignoring him. “Clothes? Weapons? Food?”
… Damn. He slumped a little where he stood.
“Yeah. Thought so. Gimme a minute. I’ll go snatch us some grub from the kitchens.”
He watched her leave, heart racing. Now was the time to leave. He could worry about food later.
… But he didn’t move, even though the voice in his head urged him to go on without her. He didn’t know why, but some small part of him wanted Toph to come. As much as he wanted to be alone, he was reminded of how lonely he had felt when he had been Zarka. The ever-present darkness that had shadowed him wherever he had gone. He was afraid of it, though he would never admit that. Afraid of something that was still tailing him.
And so, after re-securing the goods to make room for the now “borrowed” kitchen food, both he and Toph left the Fire Nation, never looking back.