Holiday Fic, Day 12: Inside My Heart Is Breaking for ruuger
Title: Inside My Heart Is Breaking
Author: miss_peg
Rating: PG
Summary: Jane considers the affect things have had on Van Pelt. Season Four spoilers, possibly.
Notes: More holiday fics! A reminder that whilst many people did them in December I had lots going on (and quite frankly it was a good idea not to do it then as I was highly unmotivated) so I'm doing it in January along with tromana.
Today's story is for ruuger's prompt Inside my heart is breaking. My make-up may be flaking. But my smile still stays on for the characters Jane and Van Pelt from The Mentalist. I hope you like it!
She sat on a bench on her own every day and though he tried his best to ignore it, he couldn’t deny how sad it made him feel. She smiled at her colleagues and the other employees at the CBI and yet he knew that she didn’t mean it.
It was his fault.
She grew angry and frustrated at even the simplest of tasks that she had once been able to perform flawlessly. Her desperation to please had been destroyed. And yet she smiled her way through it, a fake smile made up of a desire to forget.
It was his fault.
She sat at her desk and listened to the rest of the team’s banter, smiling weakly whenever they directed anything at her, then disappeared into the bathroom. He followed her one day and heard her sobs from the other side of the door.
It was his fault.
She assured everyone that she was fine and carried on with her daily life as though nothing had ever happened. She acted like she’d moved on, with the world, turning with it and yet he knew that she was trapped in a cycle of pain. He watched her sometimes, when she was in mid-thought, sat at her desk, staring into space. Then when she saw him looking, she smiled at him. He could see the flaw behind the lines.
It was his fault.
If he hadn’t started working for the CBI then he wouldn’t have sent a very public plea to Red John, if he hadn’t made that plea then his family wouldn’t have suffered in death and if his family hadn’t died he wouldn’t have continued working with the CBI with the aim of seeking revenge.
Had he not sought revenge then Red John wouldn’t have placed a mole in the organisation, a mole who gave his sole attention to Grace Van Pelt, made her fall in love with him.
If he hadn’t made her fall in love with him then he wouldn’t have shot Lisbon and Grace wouldn’t have had to shoot and kill her fiancé.
And if she hadn’t shot and killed her fiancé, then she wouldn’t have sat on a bench on her own every day.
It was his fault.
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