Fic: Tears Of My Heart [Part Ten]
Author: miss_peg
Artist: tromana
Link To Art: Here.
Word count: 27206
Rating: R/NC-17
Warnings: Lots of swearing and a bit of violence.
Disclaimer: I don't own Skins...ah well.
Summary: When Cook gets out of prison having served time for absconding, he moves in with Naomi, Emily and Gina. After the death of his mother, Cook is faced with questions about his past. With Naomi's help, they go on an emotional journey which results in a revelation that could change both of their lives.
Notes: I was so excited to take part in the skins_bigbang and I am so glad that I finally took the time to write this story. I'd had it in my head for over a year and began it once, before realising that it needed more time than I was able to give it. I'm so proud of finally finishing it.
A massive thank you to tromana, who has literally been my everything throughout this whole process. My beta (you makes me a better writer), my cheerleader, my ideas bouncer, without you I don't think I'd have got through. Nor would I have the amazing art that you made for me. It's been a pleasure to do all of that for you too, in return. I can't wait for us to 'swap' art.
You should all check out her awesome skins_bigbang, which was her first proper Skins fic, not that you could possibly tell. Tick Tock.
[ Part One - Five]
Part Six
Part Seven
Part Eight
Part Nine
Part Ten
Emily appeared in the kitchen doorway when Naomi entered the house, her eyes open wide as though she’d been waiting for her to come back. Naomi rested her jacket back on the banister and walked slowly towards her. Her mouth opened and closed, as though she wanted to ask a question, but couldn’t find the right words.
'I went to see James,' said Naomi, chewing on her bottom lip.
'Oh,' Emily whispered, avoiding Naomi’s eyes as she busied herself with the tea.
The worst thing about knowing someone very well was that you knew when they were lying and hearing Emily’s voice left Naomi with a bitter taste in her mouth. She choked on another lump in her throat as it exploded with tears.
'You know, don't you?'
'I,' Emily tried to respond but there was very little she could say and Naomi was too worked up to allow her to speak.
'Cook knows, you know, does everyone fucking know?!'
'It's not like that Naomi, I've only known for a couple of days.'
'A couple of days? We spent all of last night together and you didn’t think to fucking tell me?'
'This wasn't my thing to tell Naomi,’ Emily whispered, defensive and shaken. She expected a fall out, that much was certain, but she hadn’t prepared herself for the reaction Naomi would have if she found out that she had known. ‘Do you really think I would have kept it from you if I didn't think you deserved to hear it from your mum?'
'What do you expect me to think?’ Naomi shouted, her face red and blotchy. ‘Keeping your little secrets, talking about it behind my back. You’ve probably been fucking laughing about it.'
'Naomi,' Emily begged.
'Don't talk to me like that,’ Naomi snapped, her eyes watering again. ‘Christ, you can't put on your sad voice and expect me to forgive you.'
'This isn't Emily's fault,' Gina interrupted, appearing in the kitchen behind her daughter.
'Jesus, keep your fucking nose out of it Gina,’ Naomi shouted, walking across the kitchen away from her mother. She’d expected her to be angry, but she’d been living in hope that Naomi’s anger would subside quickly. Nothing had prepared her for the sheer level of hate lingering in her eyes. ‘Don't you think you’ve done enough getting my girlfriend to lie to me? Keeping secrets my whole life?'
'I did it because I love you.'
'You love me so much that you never told me I had a brother, that my fucking best friend is my brother.'
Gina doubted her words from the bluntness of Naomi’s, she was right. She loved her and yet she’d kept secrets from her all of her life. How could she ask for her forgiveness or expect her sympathy when she had done nothing to deserve it?!
'I couldn't tell you,' she cried, feeling her daughter slipping out of her grasp. She couldn’t lose her, why didn’t she understand that?
'No, Gina, you wouldn't tell me, there's a fucking difference,’ Naomi spat, disgustedly. ‘You've always been a coward, this is proof of that.'
'You don't know everything, I don’t care what James told you. You need to know everything, I need to explain.'
'I don't fucking want you to explain, I don't need to know.'
'You do.'
If she didn’t explain then Naomi wouldn’t know and if Naomi didn’t know, then she had no hope of ever getting her daughter back. She reached out to her, tried to take her into her arms, but Naomi backed away. Slowly Naomi was slipping away and there was nothing Gina could do but watch.
'Leave me the fuck alone,’ she uttered under her breath. ‘I don't want to know.'
She turned to Emily who stood in the corner silently, her eyes filled with tears and she looked at Gina apologetically. There wasn’t much she could do, if there was, she’d be doing it. Instead she apologised briefly and ran off up the stairs after Naomi.
xxx
The kind officer at the front desk allowed her in to see Cook, much to Gina’s delight. She sat at the table, her nerves shot. She was meeting her son for the first time, the first time where they both knew who the other one was. He walked in wearing the clothes he’d left the house in. Gina’s hand covered her mouth as an officer helped Cook to sit down, his hands cuffed in front of him.
‘I’m sorry,’ she said, wiping her tear stained cheeks.
‘I wish you’d just told me Gina, I wouldn’t have cared, I mean, I wouldn’t have been as angry as I felt standing finding out from your parents.’
‘You saw my mum and dad?’
‘Yeah, Sam sent me round there and they told me all about you, like I didn’t know who you were. I couldn’t think about it. You’re Gina, you weren’t my mum. But you are.’
‘I wish this had all been different.’
‘Me too. Now Naomikins is fucked off because I told her and I know it should’ve been you. I hated finding out from someone else.’
'I tried to explain to her,’ said Gina, reaching out to hold Cook’s hands. ‘She didn't want to listen.'
'She'll come around Ginakins,’ he smiled, taking back his hands to wrap around Gina’s. ‘She knows she's got a good thing with you. Might take a while, but she couldn't hate you forever.'
'I’m so sorry I didn't find you.'
‘Why didn’t you?’ he asked, leaning forwards.
'I tried, believe me,’ she said, shaking the tears from her cheeks. ‘But they took you somewhere outside of Bristol and then, I had no chance.'
'What do you mean?'
'When I had you it was the happiest and worst day of my life.'
‘Worst day?’ he frowned.
‘When you were born you were this little bundle, a little boy wrapped up in a hospital blanket and I loved you so much. I still love you more than I could have imagined possible,’ she paused, and brushed her hair back from her face. ‘But my mum and dad, they weren’t nice people James; they didn’t want a grandchild to be born out of wedlock.’
He remembered the lovely old couple he’d met earlier that week and the way they’d treated him like a grandparent should. He couldn’t imagine them as the strict parents they must have been, but then again, time mellowed people and so did losing your loved ones.
‘I couldn’t let them take you away and give them to some friends of theirs who were going to adopt you. I couldn’t let them do that,’ Gina said, shaking her head.
‘So you gave me to Sam?’ asked Cook.
‘I took you to Sam’s house but we were only young, seventeen. We let Ruth look after you. Just for a year. Until, I was old enough to move out of home. Then I was going to take you home.’
‘But they took me to Derby.’
‘They took you a couple of months after I gave you to them,’ she said, holding her hands together tightly to stop them from shaking. ‘I went to see you like I had done every day that I could. When Sam told me what they’d done I didn’t know what to do.’
‘It’s okay, Gina, I understand.’
‘On your first birthday I went to see Sam and that was how Naomi came into the world. When I found out I was pregnant again, I moved out.’
‘With Sam?’
‘No, just me and Naomi. He didn’t want us, he never did. I think being a dad of two before he’d even turned nineteen was the last thing he ever wanted.’
‘The shitty little prick,’ he said, repeating words he’d heard Naomi use many times. He smiled at Gina, at his mother.
‘Yeah,’ she smiled back. ‘If I could go back I wouldn’t give you away.’
‘Nah,’ he slouched back against his chair. ‘No regrets Gina, okay? There’s nothing we can do about the past. We can only fix the now.’
The now was the time she most worried about with a daughter who hated her for lying and a son who was stuck in a police cell for murdering someone. She did have regrets and though she wished for the same response to her past as Cook, she couldn’t force it.
‘Is that why you told them everything?’ she asked, frowning.
‘I want you to be proud of me,’ he said, sitting up straight and resting his arms neatly in front of him.
‘I am proud of you, James, for all of the things you have done to make your life better, despite having a difficult upbringing.’
‘I’m sorry I did it,’ he said, staring at his hands. ‘I’m sorry that I won’t get to be part of your family.’
‘You’ll always be part of my family,’ she smiled with tears glistening in her eyes. ‘The biggest part, you and Naomi. You’re my little boy.’
‘I’m sorry I ruined it all.’
‘You didn’t, you gave me a few months of being your mother and that’s all I’ve ever wished for.’
‘But it could have been longer.’
‘Or it could have been none at all.’
‘Time’s up,’ said the officer from his position by the door. Cook looked from the uniformed officer to Gina and stood up in front of her. She filled the gap between them and wrapped her arms tightly around his body.
‘I love you, James, don’t forget that.’
As the officer pulled him towards the door, Gina wiped hastily at the growing number of tears upon her cheeks. He stopped in the doorway, his eyes equally filled as they shared one final look.
‘I love you too, mum.’
xxx
Naomi sat in her room as she’d done nearly every single day since Cook’s arrest. She didn’t feel much like socialising, nor did she feel like facing her mother. The woman who lied to her for nineteen years. She didn’t understand why, yet knew the only way she would get answers was to ask. Despite not speaking to her, or staying in the same room for much longer than a minute or so, she knew that her mother’s heart was broken.
‘There’s a memorial for Freddie next week,’ Emily said, sitting down on the bed and wrapping her arms around Naomi’s shoulders. She held onto her arms and relished in the comfort her girlfriend always brought.
‘Cook’s hearing is tomorrow,’ she said, as though it was the only piece of information that really mattered.
‘I think you need to speak to her, Naomi.’
‘Not right now.’
She’d answered the same way every time that Emily had asked. If Emily had recorded her on her phone, she could have played the correct response without even needing to ask the question. There was little she could do but try her best to repair the shattered relationship of her second family.
‘Tomorrow she’s going to be losing her son officially, for the second time,’ Emily said, sitting back against their pillows.
‘So?’ Naomi turned her head to Emily.
‘You don’t mean that.’
‘No, I don’t.’
‘I think you need to hear why she did it,’ Emily whispered.
‘Christ, another thing she’s told the fucking world before she told me.’
‘I asked,’ Emily snapped. ‘Which is more than you’ve managed to do.’
‘I,’ Naomi began, her throat paralysed. ‘I don’t know, how to.’
‘Then just sit with her, let her know that you’re not going anywhere.’
Naomi nodded her head and climbed off the bed, not quite sure why she felt the need to respond to Emily’s suggestions, now of all days. She’d had plenty of chance and yet she hadn’t taken the opportunity before now. The eve of Cook’s hearing. She knew what tomorrow would bring, they all did.
‘Mum?’ Naomi muttered, pushing open her bedroom door, but to no avail. She wandered through the house but could find her mother nowhere. On the journey back to her room, she spotted Cook’s bedroom door partially open and from inside she could hear her mother sobbing.
She pushed on the door and stood facing Gina, watching her as she stared up in surprise. Her eyes hallowed out and her face as red as it had been the day she discovered the truth.
‘Mum?’ Naomi cried, stepping forwards until the space between them was gone and she was holding her tightly. She missed the comfort of her mother’s arms.
‘Oh, Naomi,’ Gina said, her eyes leaking out across Naomi’s shoulder. If she hadn’t felt so utterly sad, she’d probably have shouted at her.
They sat together, curled up in each other’s arms as Gina’s tears subsided, it was only then that Naomi smiled at her, showed her the love that she still felt for the woman who always took care of her.
‘I’m ready to find out about what happened,’ she said, holding Gina’s hand.
‘Are you sure?’ Naomi nodded. ‘Okay.’
xxx
Naomi dropped her phone and bag into a grey plastic box and walked through the metal detector in the entrance to the court. She collected her belongings on the other side and waited for Emily and Gina to join her before they walked up the stairs to the court room. She reached out to Emily’s hand which she squeezed.
‘Everything’s going to be fine,’ said Emily, squeezing her hand back.
‘I fucking hope so.’
They found three seats together at the front of public gallery where they sat silently. Emily held on tightly to Naomi’s left hand, whilst she held on to her mother’s on her other side. As Cook entered the court room with an officer on either side of him, her hand tightened around Naomi’s.
‘Can the defendant please stand,’ the judge ordered.
Standing up, Cook waited patiently for further instructions. He listened as the judge explained the charges to the rest of the court. He fucking hated being dressed in a suit, but Gina had dropped it off at the prison and he wanted to look smart, for her. He turned around and caught her eye, sending her a small smile.
‘How do you plead?’
‘Guilty,’ said Cook, leaning forward towards the microphone.
‘Mr Cook, due to the severity of the charges you will no doubt be given a custodial sentence. Your guilty plea may or may not have an effect on the length served. I advise that you to keep your head down whilst you await sentencing. Do you understand?’
‘Yes, your honour.’
‘Sentencing will be set for two weeks from today, take him away.’
The proceedings ended and Cook was taken from the courtroom. Gina stood up and rushed from the gallery, followed by Naomi and Emily. She didn’t want to miss seeing him one last time, so she ran out towards the exit. She didn’t stop until she’d reached the gate between the prison van and the main street.
‘James,’ she shouted, as an officer guided him into the back of the van. She waved and he smiled back at her. Then he was gone.
‘Mum,’ Naomi said, pulling Gina away from the gate as it opened automatically.
‘I needed to say goodbye.’
‘I know.’
‘I can’t lose you too, Naomi, please don’t make me lose you too.’
‘You won’t,’ Naomi smiled, wrapping her arms around Gina’s shoulders.
The gates opened and the prison van drove down the street. When it disappeared out of sight, Gina’s knees gave way and she collapsed into Naomi’s arms. Her face covered in tears as she sobbed against her shoulder. Naomi clung to her, wishing for all the pain and suffering they’d felt to disappear. Their lives had taken a direction she had never expected and though she couldn’t quite handle the truth of her mother’s lies, she still loved her dearly and aside from Emily, she was the only person she had left.
Artist: tromana
Link To Art: Here.
Word count: 27206
Rating: R/NC-17
Warnings: Lots of swearing and a bit of violence.
Disclaimer: I don't own Skins...ah well.
Summary: When Cook gets out of prison having served time for absconding, he moves in with Naomi, Emily and Gina. After the death of his mother, Cook is faced with questions about his past. With Naomi's help, they go on an emotional journey which results in a revelation that could change both of their lives.
Notes: I was so excited to take part in the skins_bigbang and I am so glad that I finally took the time to write this story. I'd had it in my head for over a year and began it once, before realising that it needed more time than I was able to give it. I'm so proud of finally finishing it.
A massive thank you to tromana, who has literally been my everything throughout this whole process. My beta (you makes me a better writer), my cheerleader, my ideas bouncer, without you I don't think I'd have got through. Nor would I have the amazing art that you made for me. It's been a pleasure to do all of that for you too, in return. I can't wait for us to 'swap' art.
You should all check out her awesome skins_bigbang, which was her first proper Skins fic, not that you could possibly tell. Tick Tock.
[ Part One - Five]
Part Six
Part Seven
Part Eight
Part Nine
Part Ten
Emily appeared in the kitchen doorway when Naomi entered the house, her eyes open wide as though she’d been waiting for her to come back. Naomi rested her jacket back on the banister and walked slowly towards her. Her mouth opened and closed, as though she wanted to ask a question, but couldn’t find the right words.
'I went to see James,' said Naomi, chewing on her bottom lip.
'Oh,' Emily whispered, avoiding Naomi’s eyes as she busied herself with the tea.
The worst thing about knowing someone very well was that you knew when they were lying and hearing Emily’s voice left Naomi with a bitter taste in her mouth. She choked on another lump in her throat as it exploded with tears.
'You know, don't you?'
'I,' Emily tried to respond but there was very little she could say and Naomi was too worked up to allow her to speak.
'Cook knows, you know, does everyone fucking know?!'
'It's not like that Naomi, I've only known for a couple of days.'
'A couple of days? We spent all of last night together and you didn’t think to fucking tell me?'
'This wasn't my thing to tell Naomi,’ Emily whispered, defensive and shaken. She expected a fall out, that much was certain, but she hadn’t prepared herself for the reaction Naomi would have if she found out that she had known. ‘Do you really think I would have kept it from you if I didn't think you deserved to hear it from your mum?'
'What do you expect me to think?’ Naomi shouted, her face red and blotchy. ‘Keeping your little secrets, talking about it behind my back. You’ve probably been fucking laughing about it.'
'Naomi,' Emily begged.
'Don't talk to me like that,’ Naomi snapped, her eyes watering again. ‘Christ, you can't put on your sad voice and expect me to forgive you.'
'This isn't Emily's fault,' Gina interrupted, appearing in the kitchen behind her daughter.
'Jesus, keep your fucking nose out of it Gina,’ Naomi shouted, walking across the kitchen away from her mother. She’d expected her to be angry, but she’d been living in hope that Naomi’s anger would subside quickly. Nothing had prepared her for the sheer level of hate lingering in her eyes. ‘Don't you think you’ve done enough getting my girlfriend to lie to me? Keeping secrets my whole life?'
'I did it because I love you.'
'You love me so much that you never told me I had a brother, that my fucking best friend is my brother.'
Gina doubted her words from the bluntness of Naomi’s, she was right. She loved her and yet she’d kept secrets from her all of her life. How could she ask for her forgiveness or expect her sympathy when she had done nothing to deserve it?!
'I couldn't tell you,' she cried, feeling her daughter slipping out of her grasp. She couldn’t lose her, why didn’t she understand that?
'No, Gina, you wouldn't tell me, there's a fucking difference,’ Naomi spat, disgustedly. ‘You've always been a coward, this is proof of that.'
'You don't know everything, I don’t care what James told you. You need to know everything, I need to explain.'
'I don't fucking want you to explain, I don't need to know.'
'You do.'
If she didn’t explain then Naomi wouldn’t know and if Naomi didn’t know, then she had no hope of ever getting her daughter back. She reached out to her, tried to take her into her arms, but Naomi backed away. Slowly Naomi was slipping away and there was nothing Gina could do but watch.
'Leave me the fuck alone,’ she uttered under her breath. ‘I don't want to know.'
She turned to Emily who stood in the corner silently, her eyes filled with tears and she looked at Gina apologetically. There wasn’t much she could do, if there was, she’d be doing it. Instead she apologised briefly and ran off up the stairs after Naomi.
xxx
The kind officer at the front desk allowed her in to see Cook, much to Gina’s delight. She sat at the table, her nerves shot. She was meeting her son for the first time, the first time where they both knew who the other one was. He walked in wearing the clothes he’d left the house in. Gina’s hand covered her mouth as an officer helped Cook to sit down, his hands cuffed in front of him.
‘I’m sorry,’ she said, wiping her tear stained cheeks.
‘I wish you’d just told me Gina, I wouldn’t have cared, I mean, I wouldn’t have been as angry as I felt standing finding out from your parents.’
‘You saw my mum and dad?’
‘Yeah, Sam sent me round there and they told me all about you, like I didn’t know who you were. I couldn’t think about it. You’re Gina, you weren’t my mum. But you are.’
‘I wish this had all been different.’
‘Me too. Now Naomikins is fucked off because I told her and I know it should’ve been you. I hated finding out from someone else.’
'I tried to explain to her,’ said Gina, reaching out to hold Cook’s hands. ‘She didn't want to listen.'
'She'll come around Ginakins,’ he smiled, taking back his hands to wrap around Gina’s. ‘She knows she's got a good thing with you. Might take a while, but she couldn't hate you forever.'
'I’m so sorry I didn't find you.'
‘Why didn’t you?’ he asked, leaning forwards.
'I tried, believe me,’ she said, shaking the tears from her cheeks. ‘But they took you somewhere outside of Bristol and then, I had no chance.'
'What do you mean?'
'When I had you it was the happiest and worst day of my life.'
‘Worst day?’ he frowned.
‘When you were born you were this little bundle, a little boy wrapped up in a hospital blanket and I loved you so much. I still love you more than I could have imagined possible,’ she paused, and brushed her hair back from her face. ‘But my mum and dad, they weren’t nice people James; they didn’t want a grandchild to be born out of wedlock.’
He remembered the lovely old couple he’d met earlier that week and the way they’d treated him like a grandparent should. He couldn’t imagine them as the strict parents they must have been, but then again, time mellowed people and so did losing your loved ones.
‘I couldn’t let them take you away and give them to some friends of theirs who were going to adopt you. I couldn’t let them do that,’ Gina said, shaking her head.
‘So you gave me to Sam?’ asked Cook.
‘I took you to Sam’s house but we were only young, seventeen. We let Ruth look after you. Just for a year. Until, I was old enough to move out of home. Then I was going to take you home.’
‘But they took me to Derby.’
‘They took you a couple of months after I gave you to them,’ she said, holding her hands together tightly to stop them from shaking. ‘I went to see you like I had done every day that I could. When Sam told me what they’d done I didn’t know what to do.’
‘It’s okay, Gina, I understand.’
‘On your first birthday I went to see Sam and that was how Naomi came into the world. When I found out I was pregnant again, I moved out.’
‘With Sam?’
‘No, just me and Naomi. He didn’t want us, he never did. I think being a dad of two before he’d even turned nineteen was the last thing he ever wanted.’
‘The shitty little prick,’ he said, repeating words he’d heard Naomi use many times. He smiled at Gina, at his mother.
‘Yeah,’ she smiled back. ‘If I could go back I wouldn’t give you away.’
‘Nah,’ he slouched back against his chair. ‘No regrets Gina, okay? There’s nothing we can do about the past. We can only fix the now.’
The now was the time she most worried about with a daughter who hated her for lying and a son who was stuck in a police cell for murdering someone. She did have regrets and though she wished for the same response to her past as Cook, she couldn’t force it.
‘Is that why you told them everything?’ she asked, frowning.
‘I want you to be proud of me,’ he said, sitting up straight and resting his arms neatly in front of him.
‘I am proud of you, James, for all of the things you have done to make your life better, despite having a difficult upbringing.’
‘I’m sorry I did it,’ he said, staring at his hands. ‘I’m sorry that I won’t get to be part of your family.’
‘You’ll always be part of my family,’ she smiled with tears glistening in her eyes. ‘The biggest part, you and Naomi. You’re my little boy.’
‘I’m sorry I ruined it all.’
‘You didn’t, you gave me a few months of being your mother and that’s all I’ve ever wished for.’
‘But it could have been longer.’
‘Or it could have been none at all.’
‘Time’s up,’ said the officer from his position by the door. Cook looked from the uniformed officer to Gina and stood up in front of her. She filled the gap between them and wrapped her arms tightly around his body.
‘I love you, James, don’t forget that.’
As the officer pulled him towards the door, Gina wiped hastily at the growing number of tears upon her cheeks. He stopped in the doorway, his eyes equally filled as they shared one final look.
‘I love you too, mum.’
xxx
Naomi sat in her room as she’d done nearly every single day since Cook’s arrest. She didn’t feel much like socialising, nor did she feel like facing her mother. The woman who lied to her for nineteen years. She didn’t understand why, yet knew the only way she would get answers was to ask. Despite not speaking to her, or staying in the same room for much longer than a minute or so, she knew that her mother’s heart was broken.
‘There’s a memorial for Freddie next week,’ Emily said, sitting down on the bed and wrapping her arms around Naomi’s shoulders. She held onto her arms and relished in the comfort her girlfriend always brought.
‘Cook’s hearing is tomorrow,’ she said, as though it was the only piece of information that really mattered.
‘I think you need to speak to her, Naomi.’
‘Not right now.’
She’d answered the same way every time that Emily had asked. If Emily had recorded her on her phone, she could have played the correct response without even needing to ask the question. There was little she could do but try her best to repair the shattered relationship of her second family.
‘Tomorrow she’s going to be losing her son officially, for the second time,’ Emily said, sitting back against their pillows.
‘So?’ Naomi turned her head to Emily.
‘You don’t mean that.’
‘No, I don’t.’
‘I think you need to hear why she did it,’ Emily whispered.
‘Christ, another thing she’s told the fucking world before she told me.’
‘I asked,’ Emily snapped. ‘Which is more than you’ve managed to do.’
‘I,’ Naomi began, her throat paralysed. ‘I don’t know, how to.’
‘Then just sit with her, let her know that you’re not going anywhere.’
Naomi nodded her head and climbed off the bed, not quite sure why she felt the need to respond to Emily’s suggestions, now of all days. She’d had plenty of chance and yet she hadn’t taken the opportunity before now. The eve of Cook’s hearing. She knew what tomorrow would bring, they all did.
‘Mum?’ Naomi muttered, pushing open her bedroom door, but to no avail. She wandered through the house but could find her mother nowhere. On the journey back to her room, she spotted Cook’s bedroom door partially open and from inside she could hear her mother sobbing.
She pushed on the door and stood facing Gina, watching her as she stared up in surprise. Her eyes hallowed out and her face as red as it had been the day she discovered the truth.
‘Mum?’ Naomi cried, stepping forwards until the space between them was gone and she was holding her tightly. She missed the comfort of her mother’s arms.
‘Oh, Naomi,’ Gina said, her eyes leaking out across Naomi’s shoulder. If she hadn’t felt so utterly sad, she’d probably have shouted at her.
They sat together, curled up in each other’s arms as Gina’s tears subsided, it was only then that Naomi smiled at her, showed her the love that she still felt for the woman who always took care of her.
‘I’m ready to find out about what happened,’ she said, holding Gina’s hand.
‘Are you sure?’ Naomi nodded. ‘Okay.’
xxx
Naomi dropped her phone and bag into a grey plastic box and walked through the metal detector in the entrance to the court. She collected her belongings on the other side and waited for Emily and Gina to join her before they walked up the stairs to the court room. She reached out to Emily’s hand which she squeezed.
‘Everything’s going to be fine,’ said Emily, squeezing her hand back.
‘I fucking hope so.’
They found three seats together at the front of public gallery where they sat silently. Emily held on tightly to Naomi’s left hand, whilst she held on to her mother’s on her other side. As Cook entered the court room with an officer on either side of him, her hand tightened around Naomi’s.
‘Can the defendant please stand,’ the judge ordered.
Standing up, Cook waited patiently for further instructions. He listened as the judge explained the charges to the rest of the court. He fucking hated being dressed in a suit, but Gina had dropped it off at the prison and he wanted to look smart, for her. He turned around and caught her eye, sending her a small smile.
‘How do you plead?’
‘Guilty,’ said Cook, leaning forward towards the microphone.
‘Mr Cook, due to the severity of the charges you will no doubt be given a custodial sentence. Your guilty plea may or may not have an effect on the length served. I advise that you to keep your head down whilst you await sentencing. Do you understand?’
‘Yes, your honour.’
‘Sentencing will be set for two weeks from today, take him away.’
The proceedings ended and Cook was taken from the courtroom. Gina stood up and rushed from the gallery, followed by Naomi and Emily. She didn’t want to miss seeing him one last time, so she ran out towards the exit. She didn’t stop until she’d reached the gate between the prison van and the main street.
‘James,’ she shouted, as an officer guided him into the back of the van. She waved and he smiled back at her. Then he was gone.
‘Mum,’ Naomi said, pulling Gina away from the gate as it opened automatically.
‘I needed to say goodbye.’
‘I know.’
‘I can’t lose you too, Naomi, please don’t make me lose you too.’
‘You won’t,’ Naomi smiled, wrapping her arms around Gina’s shoulders.
The gates opened and the prison van drove down the street. When it disappeared out of sight, Gina’s knees gave way and she collapsed into Naomi’s arms. Her face covered in tears as she sobbed against her shoulder. Naomi clung to her, wishing for all the pain and suffering they’d felt to disappear. Their lives had taken a direction she had never expected and though she couldn’t quite handle the truth of her mother’s lies, she still loved her dearly and aside from Emily, she was the only person she had left.