Fic: Tears Of My Heart [Part Eight]
Author: miss_peg
Artist: tromana
Link To Art: Here.
Word count: 27206
Rating: R/NC-17
Warnings: Lots of swearing and a bit of violence.
Disclaimer: I don't own Skins...ah well.
Summary: When Cook gets out of prison having served time for absconding, he moves in with Naomi, Emily and Gina. After the death of his mother, Cook is faced with questions about his past. With Naomi's help, they go on an emotional journey which results in a revelation that could change both of their lives.
Notes: I was so excited to take part in the skins_bigbang and I am so glad that I finally took the time to write this story. I'd had it in my head for over a year and began it once, before realising that it needed more time than I was able to give it. I'm so proud of finally finishing it.
A massive thank you to tromana, who has literally been my everything throughout this whole process. My beta (you makes me a better writer), my cheerleader, my ideas bouncer, without you I don't think I'd have got through. Nor would I have the amazing art that you made for me. It's been a pleasure to do all of that for you too, in return. I can't wait for us to 'swap' art.
You should all check out her awesome skins_bigbang, which was her first proper Skins fic, not that you could possibly tell. Tick Tock.
[ Part One - Five]
Part Six
Part Seven
Part Eight
She’d been pottering around the house for days, weeks in fact, to the point that Emily was almost sick of having cups of tea placed in front of her whenever she sat down at the kitchen table. Gina’s role, as the matriarch of their dysfunctional family, was to listen to their worries and help fix any problem with little more than a cup of tea and a couple of sentences. It had taken Emily too long to realise that Gina wasn’t serving her tea to get her to open up; she was doing it because she needed someone to talk to.
‘What’s going on?’ Emily asked, sipping politely on her teacup. ‘Why did Naomi run out of here crying and why are you looking just as upset?’
‘I don’t know what you mean,’ Gina muttered, busying herself with a packet of sugar. She never had sugar in her tea, in fact none of them did.
‘Yes, you do,’ Emily snapped, before silencing herself again.
Instead of asking questions, Emily merely sat there and stared at Gina, in the same way she stared at everyone else when she was waiting for them to speak. She looked down solemnly, showing more interest in the floating tea leaves than her companion.
‘I told Naomi something about her father and she took it badly.’
Emily listened patiently as Gina retold her conversation with her daughter. Despite the detail and Gina’s assurance that there was nothing else to it, Emily wasn’t sure. She watched her cautiously as Gina’s eyes darted about warily inside their sockets. They sat in silence again, much to Gina’s dislike. She liked to surround herself with people so that she didn’t have to think, or talk about anything of substance, aside from protests and the state of their country. Some might have said that she purposefully took on responsibilities of a moral nature, in order to mask what was really bothering her. Not that she’d admit it mind.
'I’m worried about her,' Gina finally muttered.
‘It’s a lot to take in,’ Emily noted.
'Not just that,’ Gina shook her head, trying to skate over the original issue as quickly as possible. ‘All the secrecy, spending all her time with James. Guilt is a dangerous emotion. Trust me, I know. Naomi knows too, the effect. She just doesn’t realise it.'
'I don’t understand Gina.'
'I’m not making much sense, am I?'
‘No.’
Naturally, Gina would be worried about Naomi; Emily was worried about her too. But she seemed to be diverting the conversation, much to Emily’s dismay. Like mother like daughter. Sometimes Emily wished she hadn’t ever got involved with the Campbells, but at the same time, she loved them both dearly.
'It doesn’t matter,' Gina shook her head and wiped at her eyes with a tissue. ‘Whether Naomi tries to help James find his parents or not, it’s none of my business.’
'I don’t understand,’ Emily frowned. ‘His mum died.'
'She wasn’t his real mum. Naomi’s been helping him to, to, to find out who his mother is.’
‘Oh,’ Emily muttered, the last few weeks slotting into place. ‘I suppose that makes sense.’
‘They didn’t tell me if that’s what you’re worrying about,’ Gina assured her.
‘I’m not worrying.’
‘I overheard them talking about it.’
‘Right.’
Neither of them said another word and Gina refilled the teapot with fresh water and tealeaves. Emily watched her carefully, noticed the flaws behind the lines. She wasn’t happy; she hadn’t got everything off her chest. Though she looked reluctant to do so.
‘What dates do you and Naomi start university?’
'Don’t change the subject,’ Emily said, pouring herself a drink and watching Gina cautiously. ‘There’s something wrong, more than what you’ve said, I can tell. Talking to me about Cook and university isn’t going to make me forget that.’
'It's nothing, I’m fine,' Gina responded, but the strain in her voice only confirmed Emily’s suspicions.
Gina stood up, filled the kettle again and switched it back on. Emily let out a long, slow breath as she plucked up the courage to voice all of the things floating around inside her head.
'You’ve already filled the teapot; we don’t need any more hot water,' she paused. ‘Are you sick?’
Countless times she'd watched soaps or films where people hid illnesses from their family. Gina had always been pretty open with them, especially Naomi. They adored each other, even if Naomi didn’t admit it half the time. She would be devastated if Gina got ill.
'I’m not ill.'
'Then, what is it?'
'It doesn’t matter.'
'I think it does’ Emily said, assertively. ‘What are you so scared of?'
'Losing her.'
Gina’s eyes closed and tears strolled down her cheeks, leaving Emily regretting pushing her. They really were one of the same, both sharing the same fears and yet, never being able to voice them with each other.
'You think telling her about her dad would do that?'
'No, I don’t, I don’t know. I don’t know what else to do,’ she sighed. ‘If I tell her, I’ll lose her. If I don’t, well, I could still lose her.'
‘You’ve already told her,’ Emily furrowed her brow. ‘Unless, there’s something else?’
A loud wail came from Gina’s mouth as she covered her eyes and started shaking. Emily rested a hand on her shoulder and rubbed the top of her back.
'Keeping it to yourself is going to make you ill,’ Emily whispered. ‘It's obviously something significant.'
The howling filled the silence that overshadowed the moment. Emily tried to focus on her own breathing as she struggled to keep her emotions in check. How could she support Gina if she couldn’t keep herself okay? When Gina finally spoke, her voice came out in a bare whisper.
‘I have a secret.’
‘We all have secrets,’ Emily said, curiously.
‘Not like this,’ Gina mumbled, keeping her head low and her shoulders hunched over.
‘Like, what?’ Emily asked, reaching her other hand out to Gina’s, where she let it rest. ‘The amount of times you’ve listened to me bitch about Katie or my mum, you know you can talk to me too.’
‘Thank you, Emily,’ Gina nodded, drinking her tea and staying silent for what felt like several minutes. When Emily glanced at the clock she realised the second hand had barely gone past the minute before.
‘You can tell me anything.’
‘I,’ she began, her voice disappearing into soft tears. Emily squeezed Gina’s shoulder and sat patiently, waiting, listening. ‘I had a child when I was seventeen, before Naomi, she doesn’t know.’
‘Oh.’
Emily’s mind paused, rewound and played the same small sentence over and over. What had she done offering an ear to Gina? Now she knew something massive about Naomi’s life, which she knew nothing about. They’d barely even talked about her father and how disappointed she felt over his absence. Despite the fact she had lied to Emily on a number of occasions, the one thing Naomi hated more than injustice, was being lied to by the people she loved.
‘Please keep this between us, Naomi can’t,’ Gina gasped, her voice catching on tears. ‘I haven’t been able to tell her.’
‘Right,’ Emily nodded, struggling to breath with the huge weight resting on her chest.
xxx
How Cook got from his grandparents’ house to Gina’s, he didn’t know. Nor did he know where the two hours it took went. He unlocked the front door, dropping his key six times before realising he’d been using the wrong one. He slid off his shoes and walked slowly down the hallway. What the fuck did he do now? He didn’t know. He couldn’t process it. How could someone process something like that? He’d not just been lied to his whole life by the people who barely gave two shits about him, he was being lied to now, by the one woman he thought actually gave a crap. He reached out to the banister and lifted his foot to begin the ascent up the stairs, when a hand came down around his arm.
‘Where are you going?’ Emily questioned, her eyes just as wide as his.
‘Fuck off,’ he snapped, pushing her away and climbing the first two stairs.
‘You’d better not be going to speak to Naomi,’ Emily uttered, as though reading his mind. What the fuck? He tried to stay calm, but the rage building up inside was consuming him quickly. He didn’t want to feel like he could hit her because he cared about her too much to do that, but at the same time, he wondered how many people actually knew. Had Naomi known the whole time? No, she couldn’t have.
‘I’ll do what the fuck I want Emily.’
‘Naomi’s asleep, she’s shattered. It’s your fault for keeping her up at night, so leave her alone.’
‘No,’ he snapped, walking up the stairs again, but Emily wasn’t giving up. She snaked up beside him until she stood as a barrier, with her hands on either side of the wall, her eyes bearing into him with confidence. No matter how small she was, she could be fucking scary sometimes.
‘Please, Cook,’ Emily begged, her voice breaking up as she closed her eyes. How could she tell him what she knew?
‘What’s going on?’ Cook asked, frowning, confused by everything that had happened and was still happening.
‘Gina told Naomi who her dad is, she’s a mess.’
‘Shit,’ his brow furrowed as he tried to come to some sort of conclusion about what that meant. He could barely focus on his own problems, let alone someone else’s. But Naomi was his best friend, no; she was his sister, half-sister at least. ‘Is she alright?’
‘I don’t know Cook; would you be alright if you found out that your mate’s uncle was your dad?’
‘Sam?’
‘Yeah.’
Bile travelled up into the back of his throat as his stomach twisted in knots. Full sister. Fuck. He pushed Emily out of the way and ran to the bathroom.
xxx
Cigarettes had always been the only dependable part of life, they didn’t lie, they didn’t pretend, they didn’t shout. They just allowed him to breathe in their toxins and relaxed him with every inch smoked. If cigarettes could fuck, they'd be the perfect companion in life and love. Better than people anyway. Wherever he looked, whoever he thought of, all he could see was disappointment and pain. All his life he'd believed he was a Cook, son of a complete waste of space and a semi-famous grotesque artist. There was Paddy, but at ten, he was barely old enough to follow everyone else. Probably for the best social services wouldn’t let him have him once he got out, he'd not been a very good role model after all.
Then there was Gina and Naomi, his other family, the family he thought he made for himself. Instead they'd been lying to him for as long as knew them. At least Gina had, talking to him like a son, telling him how proud she was, yet failing to mention the one thing he wished she had. Quite frankly, he would have been pretty fucking happy to have Gina Campbell as his mother, but she hadn’t told him the truth.
Not forgetting, JJ, his best friend for years. The one person in life he expected to be a constant and he was too fucking busy with his girlfriend and her snotty nosed kid. Working at the cash and carry together, attending lectures at the university, pretending that he hadn’t been friends with a known criminal. Sure, they'd gone out, once. But life always seemed to get in the way whenever he tried again and having moved house, he had no idea where JJ even lived.
There was always Freddie, the fun sponge, but a fun sponge he fucking loved and missed daily. If he hadn’t been killed then maybe he'd have stuck around. But he had, by that fucking cunt Foster. What was he supposed to do without his friends? Without family? The only person who refused to leave him was his fucking probation officer and even he wouldn’t be around forever. No, cigarettes were the only thing he could rely on to be there, to comfort him, to make him feel better.
'Alright?'
He twisted around on the bench, hoping to see Naomi stood there. His disappointment was evident as Emily looked back at him sorrowfully.
'Sorry Emilio, thought you were Naomikins.'
'She's asleep,’ Emily said, sitting down next to him. ‘Finally came home half an hour ago, looked like she'd drowned herself. Guess she went swimming.'
'How is she, other than wet?' he asked, holding out his cigarette packet, she refused. Always was a good girl.
'Not good. I honestly don’t know what to do James, she's in a state and all I can do is sit there, keeping this from her.'
It had become normal for Emily to lie and keep things from the people she loved, pretending she was something she wasn’t. She’d put on a performance, for years, to appease the worries of her family. She’d hated every second of it and yet it was vital that she did it. She glanced back into the house. Then she’d lied for Naomi, kept their relationship a secret in order to keep her. She’d hated that too but if she hadn’t, they wouldn’t be in a relationship. Why was it so different now? Why was lying to protect someone so much harder than lying to protect yourself?
'She should know.'
'Gina made me promise,’ she said, shaking her head. She reached out and took Cook’s cigarettes from him, resting one in her mouth until he lit it for her. ‘I can’t do that to her.'
'Didn’t make me promise.'
He stood up, adamant to fix the sorry mess. Naomi was his sister and she had no idea. He needed her to know, he needed to feel like someone was on his side. He couldn’t hold his tongue, not where Naomi was concerned.
'No.'
Emily stood up, blocking his path towards the house. He turned away. She smirked victorious and he rolled his eyes. She could try to stop him and he would resist, but it couldn’t last forever. Eventually, he would have to tell her. Someone would have to tell her.
'She's finding this difficult enough; she doesn’t need to know that Gina still hasn’t told her everything. Not tonight.'
'Fuck this shit Emily,' he shouted, walking over to the bins and kicking them repeatedly, pulling one of them over before smashing his foot into it again. He only stopped when Emily's hand rested on his shoulder, a gentle reminder that actually, he wasn’t alone and despite everything, someone would support him.
'She's my fucking sister,' he wailed, resting his face against Emily's neck.
'I know,' Emily replied, her voice almost as broken as his. She hated seeing anyone cry. It usually made her laugh when her brother got upset. With Cook, it broke her heart because she knew that whatever he was feeling, Naomi would eventually have to feel too.
'Fucking hell am I glad we never slept together,’ he sighed, rolling his head back. ‘I know I love a good shag and I always thought Naomi would be a good shag. But incest, it's sick.'
'And illegal.'
'Laws don’t mean nothing to me,' Cook said, his anger plummeting suddenly. ‘Fucking glad we didn’t do it though.’
'If you did, I’d hate you, you know that right?'
‘Of course.’
Part Nine
Parts Ten
Artist: tromana
Link To Art: Here.
Word count: 27206
Rating: R/NC-17
Warnings: Lots of swearing and a bit of violence.
Disclaimer: I don't own Skins...ah well.
Summary: When Cook gets out of prison having served time for absconding, he moves in with Naomi, Emily and Gina. After the death of his mother, Cook is faced with questions about his past. With Naomi's help, they go on an emotional journey which results in a revelation that could change both of their lives.
Notes: I was so excited to take part in the skins_bigbang and I am so glad that I finally took the time to write this story. I'd had it in my head for over a year and began it once, before realising that it needed more time than I was able to give it. I'm so proud of finally finishing it.
A massive thank you to tromana, who has literally been my everything throughout this whole process. My beta (you makes me a better writer), my cheerleader, my ideas bouncer, without you I don't think I'd have got through. Nor would I have the amazing art that you made for me. It's been a pleasure to do all of that for you too, in return. I can't wait for us to 'swap' art.
You should all check out her awesome skins_bigbang, which was her first proper Skins fic, not that you could possibly tell. Tick Tock.
[ Part One - Five]
Part Six
Part Seven
Part Eight
She’d been pottering around the house for days, weeks in fact, to the point that Emily was almost sick of having cups of tea placed in front of her whenever she sat down at the kitchen table. Gina’s role, as the matriarch of their dysfunctional family, was to listen to their worries and help fix any problem with little more than a cup of tea and a couple of sentences. It had taken Emily too long to realise that Gina wasn’t serving her tea to get her to open up; she was doing it because she needed someone to talk to.
‘What’s going on?’ Emily asked, sipping politely on her teacup. ‘Why did Naomi run out of here crying and why are you looking just as upset?’
‘I don’t know what you mean,’ Gina muttered, busying herself with a packet of sugar. She never had sugar in her tea, in fact none of them did.
‘Yes, you do,’ Emily snapped, before silencing herself again.
Instead of asking questions, Emily merely sat there and stared at Gina, in the same way she stared at everyone else when she was waiting for them to speak. She looked down solemnly, showing more interest in the floating tea leaves than her companion.
‘I told Naomi something about her father and she took it badly.’
Emily listened patiently as Gina retold her conversation with her daughter. Despite the detail and Gina’s assurance that there was nothing else to it, Emily wasn’t sure. She watched her cautiously as Gina’s eyes darted about warily inside their sockets. They sat in silence again, much to Gina’s dislike. She liked to surround herself with people so that she didn’t have to think, or talk about anything of substance, aside from protests and the state of their country. Some might have said that she purposefully took on responsibilities of a moral nature, in order to mask what was really bothering her. Not that she’d admit it mind.
'I’m worried about her,' Gina finally muttered.
‘It’s a lot to take in,’ Emily noted.
'Not just that,’ Gina shook her head, trying to skate over the original issue as quickly as possible. ‘All the secrecy, spending all her time with James. Guilt is a dangerous emotion. Trust me, I know. Naomi knows too, the effect. She just doesn’t realise it.'
'I don’t understand Gina.'
'I’m not making much sense, am I?'
‘No.’
Naturally, Gina would be worried about Naomi; Emily was worried about her too. But she seemed to be diverting the conversation, much to Emily’s dismay. Like mother like daughter. Sometimes Emily wished she hadn’t ever got involved with the Campbells, but at the same time, she loved them both dearly.
'It doesn’t matter,' Gina shook her head and wiped at her eyes with a tissue. ‘Whether Naomi tries to help James find his parents or not, it’s none of my business.’
'I don’t understand,’ Emily frowned. ‘His mum died.'
'She wasn’t his real mum. Naomi’s been helping him to, to, to find out who his mother is.’
‘Oh,’ Emily muttered, the last few weeks slotting into place. ‘I suppose that makes sense.’
‘They didn’t tell me if that’s what you’re worrying about,’ Gina assured her.
‘I’m not worrying.’
‘I overheard them talking about it.’
‘Right.’
Neither of them said another word and Gina refilled the teapot with fresh water and tealeaves. Emily watched her carefully, noticed the flaws behind the lines. She wasn’t happy; she hadn’t got everything off her chest. Though she looked reluctant to do so.
‘What dates do you and Naomi start university?’
'Don’t change the subject,’ Emily said, pouring herself a drink and watching Gina cautiously. ‘There’s something wrong, more than what you’ve said, I can tell. Talking to me about Cook and university isn’t going to make me forget that.’
'It's nothing, I’m fine,' Gina responded, but the strain in her voice only confirmed Emily’s suspicions.
Gina stood up, filled the kettle again and switched it back on. Emily let out a long, slow breath as she plucked up the courage to voice all of the things floating around inside her head.
'You’ve already filled the teapot; we don’t need any more hot water,' she paused. ‘Are you sick?’
Countless times she'd watched soaps or films where people hid illnesses from their family. Gina had always been pretty open with them, especially Naomi. They adored each other, even if Naomi didn’t admit it half the time. She would be devastated if Gina got ill.
'I’m not ill.'
'Then, what is it?'
'It doesn’t matter.'
'I think it does’ Emily said, assertively. ‘What are you so scared of?'
'Losing her.'
Gina’s eyes closed and tears strolled down her cheeks, leaving Emily regretting pushing her. They really were one of the same, both sharing the same fears and yet, never being able to voice them with each other.
'You think telling her about her dad would do that?'
'No, I don’t, I don’t know. I don’t know what else to do,’ she sighed. ‘If I tell her, I’ll lose her. If I don’t, well, I could still lose her.'
‘You’ve already told her,’ Emily furrowed her brow. ‘Unless, there’s something else?’
A loud wail came from Gina’s mouth as she covered her eyes and started shaking. Emily rested a hand on her shoulder and rubbed the top of her back.
'Keeping it to yourself is going to make you ill,’ Emily whispered. ‘It's obviously something significant.'
The howling filled the silence that overshadowed the moment. Emily tried to focus on her own breathing as she struggled to keep her emotions in check. How could she support Gina if she couldn’t keep herself okay? When Gina finally spoke, her voice came out in a bare whisper.
‘I have a secret.’
‘We all have secrets,’ Emily said, curiously.
‘Not like this,’ Gina mumbled, keeping her head low and her shoulders hunched over.
‘Like, what?’ Emily asked, reaching her other hand out to Gina’s, where she let it rest. ‘The amount of times you’ve listened to me bitch about Katie or my mum, you know you can talk to me too.’
‘Thank you, Emily,’ Gina nodded, drinking her tea and staying silent for what felt like several minutes. When Emily glanced at the clock she realised the second hand had barely gone past the minute before.
‘You can tell me anything.’
‘I,’ she began, her voice disappearing into soft tears. Emily squeezed Gina’s shoulder and sat patiently, waiting, listening. ‘I had a child when I was seventeen, before Naomi, she doesn’t know.’
‘Oh.’
Emily’s mind paused, rewound and played the same small sentence over and over. What had she done offering an ear to Gina? Now she knew something massive about Naomi’s life, which she knew nothing about. They’d barely even talked about her father and how disappointed she felt over his absence. Despite the fact she had lied to Emily on a number of occasions, the one thing Naomi hated more than injustice, was being lied to by the people she loved.
‘Please keep this between us, Naomi can’t,’ Gina gasped, her voice catching on tears. ‘I haven’t been able to tell her.’
‘Right,’ Emily nodded, struggling to breath with the huge weight resting on her chest.
xxx
How Cook got from his grandparents’ house to Gina’s, he didn’t know. Nor did he know where the two hours it took went. He unlocked the front door, dropping his key six times before realising he’d been using the wrong one. He slid off his shoes and walked slowly down the hallway. What the fuck did he do now? He didn’t know. He couldn’t process it. How could someone process something like that? He’d not just been lied to his whole life by the people who barely gave two shits about him, he was being lied to now, by the one woman he thought actually gave a crap. He reached out to the banister and lifted his foot to begin the ascent up the stairs, when a hand came down around his arm.
‘Where are you going?’ Emily questioned, her eyes just as wide as his.
‘Fuck off,’ he snapped, pushing her away and climbing the first two stairs.
‘You’d better not be going to speak to Naomi,’ Emily uttered, as though reading his mind. What the fuck? He tried to stay calm, but the rage building up inside was consuming him quickly. He didn’t want to feel like he could hit her because he cared about her too much to do that, but at the same time, he wondered how many people actually knew. Had Naomi known the whole time? No, she couldn’t have.
‘I’ll do what the fuck I want Emily.’
‘Naomi’s asleep, she’s shattered. It’s your fault for keeping her up at night, so leave her alone.’
‘No,’ he snapped, walking up the stairs again, but Emily wasn’t giving up. She snaked up beside him until she stood as a barrier, with her hands on either side of the wall, her eyes bearing into him with confidence. No matter how small she was, she could be fucking scary sometimes.
‘Please, Cook,’ Emily begged, her voice breaking up as she closed her eyes. How could she tell him what she knew?
‘What’s going on?’ Cook asked, frowning, confused by everything that had happened and was still happening.
‘Gina told Naomi who her dad is, she’s a mess.’
‘Shit,’ his brow furrowed as he tried to come to some sort of conclusion about what that meant. He could barely focus on his own problems, let alone someone else’s. But Naomi was his best friend, no; she was his sister, half-sister at least. ‘Is she alright?’
‘I don’t know Cook; would you be alright if you found out that your mate’s uncle was your dad?’
‘Sam?’
‘Yeah.’
Bile travelled up into the back of his throat as his stomach twisted in knots. Full sister. Fuck. He pushed Emily out of the way and ran to the bathroom.
xxx
Cigarettes had always been the only dependable part of life, they didn’t lie, they didn’t pretend, they didn’t shout. They just allowed him to breathe in their toxins and relaxed him with every inch smoked. If cigarettes could fuck, they'd be the perfect companion in life and love. Better than people anyway. Wherever he looked, whoever he thought of, all he could see was disappointment and pain. All his life he'd believed he was a Cook, son of a complete waste of space and a semi-famous grotesque artist. There was Paddy, but at ten, he was barely old enough to follow everyone else. Probably for the best social services wouldn’t let him have him once he got out, he'd not been a very good role model after all.
Then there was Gina and Naomi, his other family, the family he thought he made for himself. Instead they'd been lying to him for as long as knew them. At least Gina had, talking to him like a son, telling him how proud she was, yet failing to mention the one thing he wished she had. Quite frankly, he would have been pretty fucking happy to have Gina Campbell as his mother, but she hadn’t told him the truth.
Not forgetting, JJ, his best friend for years. The one person in life he expected to be a constant and he was too fucking busy with his girlfriend and her snotty nosed kid. Working at the cash and carry together, attending lectures at the university, pretending that he hadn’t been friends with a known criminal. Sure, they'd gone out, once. But life always seemed to get in the way whenever he tried again and having moved house, he had no idea where JJ even lived.
There was always Freddie, the fun sponge, but a fun sponge he fucking loved and missed daily. If he hadn’t been killed then maybe he'd have stuck around. But he had, by that fucking cunt Foster. What was he supposed to do without his friends? Without family? The only person who refused to leave him was his fucking probation officer and even he wouldn’t be around forever. No, cigarettes were the only thing he could rely on to be there, to comfort him, to make him feel better.
'Alright?'
He twisted around on the bench, hoping to see Naomi stood there. His disappointment was evident as Emily looked back at him sorrowfully.
'Sorry Emilio, thought you were Naomikins.'
'She's asleep,’ Emily said, sitting down next to him. ‘Finally came home half an hour ago, looked like she'd drowned herself. Guess she went swimming.'
'How is she, other than wet?' he asked, holding out his cigarette packet, she refused. Always was a good girl.
'Not good. I honestly don’t know what to do James, she's in a state and all I can do is sit there, keeping this from her.'
It had become normal for Emily to lie and keep things from the people she loved, pretending she was something she wasn’t. She’d put on a performance, for years, to appease the worries of her family. She’d hated every second of it and yet it was vital that she did it. She glanced back into the house. Then she’d lied for Naomi, kept their relationship a secret in order to keep her. She’d hated that too but if she hadn’t, they wouldn’t be in a relationship. Why was it so different now? Why was lying to protect someone so much harder than lying to protect yourself?
'She should know.'
'Gina made me promise,’ she said, shaking her head. She reached out and took Cook’s cigarettes from him, resting one in her mouth until he lit it for her. ‘I can’t do that to her.'
'Didn’t make me promise.'
He stood up, adamant to fix the sorry mess. Naomi was his sister and she had no idea. He needed her to know, he needed to feel like someone was on his side. He couldn’t hold his tongue, not where Naomi was concerned.
'No.'
Emily stood up, blocking his path towards the house. He turned away. She smirked victorious and he rolled his eyes. She could try to stop him and he would resist, but it couldn’t last forever. Eventually, he would have to tell her. Someone would have to tell her.
'She's finding this difficult enough; she doesn’t need to know that Gina still hasn’t told her everything. Not tonight.'
'Fuck this shit Emily,' he shouted, walking over to the bins and kicking them repeatedly, pulling one of them over before smashing his foot into it again. He only stopped when Emily's hand rested on his shoulder, a gentle reminder that actually, he wasn’t alone and despite everything, someone would support him.
'She's my fucking sister,' he wailed, resting his face against Emily's neck.
'I know,' Emily replied, her voice almost as broken as his. She hated seeing anyone cry. It usually made her laugh when her brother got upset. With Cook, it broke her heart because she knew that whatever he was feeling, Naomi would eventually have to feel too.
'Fucking hell am I glad we never slept together,’ he sighed, rolling his head back. ‘I know I love a good shag and I always thought Naomi would be a good shag. But incest, it's sick.'
'And illegal.'
'Laws don’t mean nothing to me,' Cook said, his anger plummeting suddenly. ‘Fucking glad we didn’t do it though.’
'If you did, I’d hate you, you know that right?'
‘Of course.’
Part Nine
Parts Ten