Thinking of another name change...
Side effects of me being sick and unable to sleep : unnecessary rambles, talking to myself in parentheses, and being a general weirdo. Yay me.
I’m very strange when it comes to names. Unless I intend to build some kind of relationship with a person, I don’t feel like they need to know and call me by my real name. Especially on the net. Hence my use of nicknames. (Isn’t that why we all do that online, silly? xD) Well, I tend to revamp my fandom identity every several years, because I change my mind about names too often. xP I’ve been searching for one that I wouldn’t get tired of (much like I did my real name), because it gets old having to change all my accounts over to the new name. Some I have to start completely fresh with, because it costs money to switch usernames. (Looking at you, Dreamwidth.) I’ve been going by ‘Princess Starscream’ for several years now. Before that it was ‘Mini Bot’, which was the most generic thing in the world and didn’t represent me (in the fandom) in the least bit. (I did like being called ‘Mini’, though. That was cute. :3) Who knows what other silly fandom (pre-TF) nicknames I had before that. (I’m a nickname person, sue me!) Lately I’ve been thinking that the nickname I have now doesn’t represent me either. Starscream is one of my all time favorite TFs, yes. Has been from the beginning of this obsession and probably will be until my end. That’s what attracted to me to having a nickname with his name in it. ‘Princess’ with ‘Starscream’ is an adorable combo and I was proud of myself when I thought of it. Then I found another Princess Starscream on Tumblr not too long ago. Not sure which of us had the thought first and it’s not a competition by any means. I just like to feel like my name/nickname is mine. Plus, I don’t feel like a ‘Starscream’. xD
The name/word ‘Scourge’ has a deeper meaning to me. Both in fandom and out. (I won’t get into out of fandom stuff, though. Too personal.) I’ve poured my heart and soul into the (borderline OCish for me) Nemesis Prime/Scourge character. He is literally my baby/my everything in the fandom world. I believe I have considered being called just ‘Scourge’ as a nickname in the past, but I felt like it would be missing something. That’s when the idea hit me to keep ‘princess’ and switch ‘Starscream’ to ‘Scourge’. Princess Scourge! It may sound silly and childish (you ain’t a princess, bitch! xD), but it fits right into the kind of person I am. (My ultimate life goal is to be that big kid that knows how the fuck to handle adult shit like a boss.)
Fun fact about why I chose (and apparently am sticking to) ‘princess’ that you don’t want to know about. I’m not a self loathing individual, but I have an incredibly low self esteem. I’m trying to build it up little by little and gain more confidence. (Baby steps! These things take time.) Hearing (or being called, in this case) ‘princess’ makes me feel pretty or elegant giving me much needed boosts to my self esteem to help me along my journey of self love/acceptance. ^^;
So, not sure what I'm going to do about this account, as I don't want to lose all my entries. Buuut, I don't wanna pay to have the name changed either. Hmmm. I'll figure it out at a later date.
Go the fuck to sleep. xD