Fic-Post: Call your Girlfriend (Swimming RPS)
Title: Call your Girlfriend
Pairing: Ryan Lochte/Michael Phelps
Rating: PG-13
Word Count: 2,739
Summary: Songfic to 'Call your girlfriend' by Robyn
Disclaimer: nope
Author's Note: twitter-prompt from hadrons, madamroyale and major_lulz. sort of. basically, it is really easy to talk me into writing songfic.
CALL YOUR GIRLFRIEND
There’s a heavy sigh as Michael sits on the couch. The room is almost dark and the only sounds are coming from the outside. And Michael just sits there, staring down at his hands resting on his lap, twisting his phone back and forth between left and right. He thought it was going to be easy, but with every passing minute, it just gets harder.
He doesn’t hear the door open or the takeout containers being dropped on the kitchen counter, barely flinches when he feels the couch dip in from someone sitting down next to him. He only moves to wrap an arm around the chest that curls up next to his side, the cold seeping through a baggy sweatshirt - one of his - into the t-shirt he’s wearing - not one of his.
“Fuck, tell me again why I’ve chosen to spend my valuable free time in the freezing pit of hell?”
“The pit of hell doesn’t freeze.”
Ryan looks up at Michael when he notices the flat tone of his voice. No teasing, no humour, no nothing. He follows his line of sight, then looks down at the phone in the other man’s hand, smiling at the cheesy photo of them chosen as the wallpaper.
“Bad news?” He squeezes the arm around his chest.
Michael shakes his head. “Not yet.” He looks down at the man fitting so well against his body, like he was meant to be there. He probably was. No, actually he definitely was. “How the fuck am I meant to be doing this?”
Ryan shrugs. “Tell her that you, like, thought about stuff and that you realised that she’s not the one.”
“I’m so not going to give her the ‘It’s not you, it’s me’-speech.”
“It worked for me.”
“Yeah, but your ... girlfriend, for lack of a better word, was a 20-year-old sorority bimbo who probably would’ve believed you if you told her the sky is green.”
Ryan snorts. “It’s scary that there’s actually some truth to that.” He pauses, “Just call her and you’ll figure out what to say.”
“How does your advise actually get worse?”
“Have you met me?”
Michael smiles for the first time since Ryan came home - because being like this with Ryan, this is home - and squeezes the other man a little tighter. Ryan laces his fingers through Michael’s and squeezes back.
“Wanna be alone? I can go warm up the food and stuff.”
Michael shakes his head. “Can you stay?”
“Sure, of course.”
So Ryan kicks off his shoes and gets comfortable, running his fingers lightly across Michael’s arm as Michael takes a deep breath before skipping through his contacts - she never even had a speed dial - and hits ‘call’.
She picks up after a few rings. “Hey you!” She sounds upbeat and sort of happy and Michael wants to punch himself.
“Hey. Uhm, you busy?”
“No, just getting ready for bed.”
Time difference, he remembers. Something he never really has to worry about with Ryan. No matter when and where, Ryan will always take the time when Michael’s name flashes on the screen of his phone. Michael does the same for him.
“You okay? You sound a little … off.”
“Yeah, I’m fine, just … thinking, I guess.”
Ryan huffs out a laugh and whispers, “See? Told you.” which earns him another squeeze from Michael, though not so much of the good kind.
“Oh boy …” she sighs.
“Yeah.”
“So what’s wrong?”
“I feel … out of place, I guess.”
“Out of place where? At home? Just come over, chill out for a few days. Get some sunshine into your eastcoast soul.”
He hears the smile in her voice. She tries to lighten him up when he doesn’t want her to. He doesn’t want her to be so damn chirpy when he’s about to do what he’s about to do.
“No, I feel … I’m out of place in this.”
“What is this, Mike? I don’t get it.”
Michael wants to groan and just bump his head against the wall, but there is no wall, just the top of Ryan’s head, so he rests there. He can smell the shampoo. Head and Shoulders. There are like a million bottles all over this place. The smell settles his mind. What’s his is Ryan’s.
“With you. I feel out of place with you.”
She doesn’t say anything for a few beats. Michael sort of expects her to laugh and tell him he’s now officially lost his mind.
“Okay.”
That’s all she says. No hint of anything. Not a question, no doubts, no nothing. Just her saying ‘Okay’.
“I don’t really know what I’m doing here, Megan. Like, how are we meant to work?”
“I think we’ve been working just fine.”
And ‘work’ is already being the keyword in this whole conversation. Because Michael doesn’t think that you should have to work on a relationship. You work on goals, you work to get in shape, you work to get paid at your job. But you don’t work if you seriously, 100% want to be with someone. If you want to be with someone, you are. No work necessary.
He feels Ryan shift against him, getting comfortable. He’s winding down and if this was another setting, he’d be asleep in under ten minutes. Knowing this, knowing how to read every movement of Ryan, it makes him smile. But then he remembers he isn’t supposed to smile right now.
“That’s the thing though.”
“What’s what thing, Michael? You’re making absolutely no sense.”
“I don’t wanna work on being with you.”
At this, Ryan hisses and Michael can imagine his face all too clearly, even if he can’t really see it right now. He can imagine Ryan’s face. He tries to think of how Megan might look right now. He can’t.
“Charming.” she grits out.
Michael backtracks. “No, I mean … I’ve been working for what feels like my entire life, you know? I’m twenty-fucking-seven and I don’t know how to not work on something. And just, for once in my life I want to not work. I just want things to be and … things just aren’t for us.”
Again, she doesn’t say anything for a few moments. She’s working through this, at least that’s what Michael guesses. She’s trying to make sense of things.
“Are you dumping me right now?”
“I’m sorry. I know it sucks doing it like this, but like … it would’ve sucked even more to just … to not tell you and wait. I mean, I don’t even know when we would’ve seen each other next time, you know.”
“Yeah … yeah, I guess you’re right.” She pauses. “You’re right, this sucks.”
“Sorry.”
It sounds so goddamn weak. Like a lame excuse to cheat your way out of something you can’t find the words for.
“We had a good run, though. Right? I mean, we’ve tried. We did, didn’t we?”
Michael just knows that, when she says ‘we’, she means ‘you’. And he doesn’t know what to say. He thinks he did try, but if he tried for real, he wouldn’t be sitting here with Ryan curled up against his side right now. If he had tried with Megan, being with Ryan should not feel as good as it does. And it does feel good. So good in fact that Michael can’t even bring himself to feel guilty for sort of cheating.
So he says, “We did our best.”
“Our best, but still not good enough.”
“I just … I had thought it’d be easier, you know.”
“I think we both did.”
“I probably should’ve … I don’t know. I was at a weird place when we started … this. I knew I was done, but I didn’t know how ‘done’ would actually be like. In real life, you know.”
“Yeah, but … do you think you can figure it out now?”
And Michael wants to say ‘yes’ immediately. Because not only does he think he can figure it out now, he knows that he can. Because Ryan will be there. Ryan who won’t spare more than a mild laugh when Michael slips into the pool in the lane next to his at practise. He won’t even bat an eyelash when Michael stuffs one of his speedos into his bag for competitions, just so a part of him will still be racing. Ryan didn’t care whether or not Michael was really done, because he knew what it was like. Once you’re swimming, you’re swimming. Whether you do it in a backyard pool or at the Olympics is only secondary. When you’re swimming for real, it just becomes part of you and, unless your body makes you, you never really quit. Ryan understands that. Megan doesn’t. For her, Michael is done and him doing a few laps means that he’s not letting go of the past, that he isn’t moving on.
Michael figuring things out simply means that he doesn’t have to figure things out.
“I’ll be okay.”
It’s as much of a ‘yes’ that he can give her without making it sound like the enthusiastic affirmation that it is.
“I mean, I was okay with you-“
“Oh god, just don’t!” Ryan hisses, giving a slap to Michael’s arm.
Michael ignores him. “Really, I was. We had … we were good. I had fun when we were together. But, I don’t know, something’s changed. And just … I think you deserve more.”
“Laaaaame.” Ryan mutters softly, which is earning him another slap.
“At least more than I can give you. You should be with someone who’s … not out of place. It’s just not… I’m not being fair.”
“Is there someone else?”
He wants to lie, but decides against it. It’s not fair to Ryan. “Kinda.” Michael looks down at the man leaning against him, his legs outstretched on the couch, typing on his phone.
It isn’t a lie.
Ryan just showed up when Michael expected him to be in Florida. Or god knows where he was spending his time nowadays. Certainly not anywhere where you had to wear actual clothes because there was actual weather. But still, Ryan’s here. On his doorstep. And Michael let him in. No questions asked. They don’t do that.
What they do is sit on the couch and eat food that’s against any athlete’s diet. Drink a little more than they should. Ryan is pissed off that he can’t smoke and Michael won’t do it without Ryan. And so they drink even more.
“Can I be honest with you?”
Ryan’s eyes are set and focused and if Michael hadn’t seen him drink and didn’t smell the faint hint of booze, he’d be sure Ryan was dead sober right now.
“Are you ever not honest with me?”
“I screwed up, I think.” Ryan leans his head against the back of the couch and let’s his head loll to the side to look at Michael.
“Screwed up how?”
“I don’t wanna be friendzoned, man.”
“Okay, one - did you really just use the word ‘friendzoned’? And two - I’ve seen your girl, dude. I don’t think you’ll be in that zone for much longer.”
“Nonono, not with” he pauses, thinking, “her.”
Michael erupts in laughter. “You forgot her name? Dude, that’s cold.”
“I don’t wanna be in a friendzone with you.”
Michael immediately stops laughing and just stares at Ryan.
“And like, I know I’ve been acting like an asshole after London, you know. Like not coming to your retirement party and ‘forgetting’ to put you on the list for my birthday party and all that. But I mean, I figured Megan would be around and I may hit my head a lot, but I still have some sense left up in there, you know? I’m not gonna torture myself seeing you with her when I’m sorta celebrating the fact that I won’t get to see you as often anymore, that’s just plain stupid.”
Michael still stares and he’s suddenly overrun by just wanting to get lost in Ryan’s eyes and wanting to hold him and kiss him and make everything right that has apparently been not quite right for so many years.
And maybe it’s the alcohol loosening his senses or maybe, definitely, knowing that this is Ryan is making it all easier than Michael had ever thought it could be. Whatever it is, it makes him lean over and press his lips on Ryan’s and it’s like Michael is suddenly seeing the light. Lame as it sounds, but with Ryan’s lips on his, everything is making sense and things are falling into place when Michael hadn’t even realised they were out of place before.
Ryan tenses at first and relaxes quickly and his fingers dig into Michael’s forearm that’s sliding up his thigh to rest on his hip. He moans and Michael’s tongue sneaks past his lips curiously and just like that, nothing else is important.
But then reality makes itself known and Ryan pulls away, his hand firmly on Michael’s chest, stopping him from leaning in again.
“What?”
“I can’t do that, Mike. Not like this.”
Michael has no idea what he means. Because ten seconds ago, he was kissing Ryan and everything was more right than it had ever been before and now suddenly, everything wasn’t.
“You have a girlfriend.”
“Oh.” Because really, he had forgotten for just that moment. And he thinks he should feel guilty and wrong. He doesn’t.
Ryan smiles a little. “Yeah, oh.” He sighs. “I’m not gonna be ‘the other one’, Michael. I won’t do that. And as much as I would like to right now, I just … no. Not when she’s in the picture. It’s either-or.”
And for some reason - because it’s Ryan - being given an ultimatum about his life somehow seems like the easiest challenge he ever had to face.
“It’s you.”
Ryan smiles and exhales and he leans his head on Michael’s shoulder. “Awesome.”
“There’s someone else.” And he holds himself back from making it delight himself more than it should, seeing as he’s telling her now, not telling himself. “Really, I’m sorry. I wish it had worked out better.” he says instead.
“Yeah, me too.”
“You’re gonna find someone better. Shouldn’t even be that hard.”
Megan laughs lightly at that.
“I’m sorry.” he says again, like just saying it often enough will make it more of an acceptable thing. “I feel like I have let you down.”
“You have literally just done that.”
“No, but like … as a friend. We are friends, aren’t we?”
Ryan just snorts and mumbles under his breath, “Yeah right, friends my balls.”
Michael doesn’t even bother smacking Ryan again. Because this time - like a lot of the time, actually - he’s right. He knows that, once he hangs up, he’ll never hear from Megan again. And he knows he’s dropping clichés left and right, but somehow he feels that he owes her this much after wasting her time for this long.
“You didn’t let me down, Michael. I mean, you did, but … you didn’t disappoint me, if that’s what you’re worried about. It’s fine. I’ll be fine.”
“Okay.”
And this time it’s Michael’s voice that’s void of all emotions. He is out of things to say.
“So … that’s that.”
“That’s that.” he repeats.
There’s a moment of silence and Michael doesn’t know whether to speak or listen. His instincts aren’t fine-tuned to Megan.
“Goodbye Michael.” She seems rushed, like she really just wants to get out of this conversation right now, like she reached that point where she can’t take it anymore.
“Bye Megan. Sorry.”
“Yeah.”
And then the line goes dead. Michael just looks at his phone for a few more seconds, seeing his wallpaper come up again, before he tosses it to the side, resting his head on top of Ryan’s again.
“That’s that.”
Another silence, but this time, Michael knows exactly how to read it. This is Ryan processing things. How he should be happy because he is one step closer to everything, but the feeling of taking everything away from another person for him to get it. A normal thing in the pool, something he’s not really fond of outside of it.
“It’s okay, Ry.”
“Yeah?”
Michael nods, shifting a little so Ryan’s back is against his chest now. He wraps his arm around him properly and just holds him close.
“Now it’s gonna be me and you.”
Pairing: Ryan Lochte/Michael Phelps
Rating: PG-13
Word Count: 2,739
Summary: Songfic to 'Call your girlfriend' by Robyn
Disclaimer: nope
Author's Note: twitter-prompt from hadrons, madamroyale and major_lulz. sort of. basically, it is really easy to talk me into writing songfic.
CALL YOUR GIRLFRIEND
There’s a heavy sigh as Michael sits on the couch. The room is almost dark and the only sounds are coming from the outside. And Michael just sits there, staring down at his hands resting on his lap, twisting his phone back and forth between left and right. He thought it was going to be easy, but with every passing minute, it just gets harder.
He doesn’t hear the door open or the takeout containers being dropped on the kitchen counter, barely flinches when he feels the couch dip in from someone sitting down next to him. He only moves to wrap an arm around the chest that curls up next to his side, the cold seeping through a baggy sweatshirt - one of his - into the t-shirt he’s wearing - not one of his.
“Fuck, tell me again why I’ve chosen to spend my valuable free time in the freezing pit of hell?”
“The pit of hell doesn’t freeze.”
Ryan looks up at Michael when he notices the flat tone of his voice. No teasing, no humour, no nothing. He follows his line of sight, then looks down at the phone in the other man’s hand, smiling at the cheesy photo of them chosen as the wallpaper.
“Bad news?” He squeezes the arm around his chest.
Michael shakes his head. “Not yet.” He looks down at the man fitting so well against his body, like he was meant to be there. He probably was. No, actually he definitely was. “How the fuck am I meant to be doing this?”
Ryan shrugs. “Tell her that you, like, thought about stuff and that you realised that she’s not the one.”
“I’m so not going to give her the ‘It’s not you, it’s me’-speech.”
“It worked for me.”
“Yeah, but your ... girlfriend, for lack of a better word, was a 20-year-old sorority bimbo who probably would’ve believed you if you told her the sky is green.”
Ryan snorts. “It’s scary that there’s actually some truth to that.” He pauses, “Just call her and you’ll figure out what to say.”
“How does your advise actually get worse?”
“Have you met me?”
Michael smiles for the first time since Ryan came home - because being like this with Ryan, this is home - and squeezes the other man a little tighter. Ryan laces his fingers through Michael’s and squeezes back.
“Wanna be alone? I can go warm up the food and stuff.”
Michael shakes his head. “Can you stay?”
“Sure, of course.”
So Ryan kicks off his shoes and gets comfortable, running his fingers lightly across Michael’s arm as Michael takes a deep breath before skipping through his contacts - she never even had a speed dial - and hits ‘call’.
She picks up after a few rings. “Hey you!” She sounds upbeat and sort of happy and Michael wants to punch himself.
“Hey. Uhm, you busy?”
“No, just getting ready for bed.”
Time difference, he remembers. Something he never really has to worry about with Ryan. No matter when and where, Ryan will always take the time when Michael’s name flashes on the screen of his phone. Michael does the same for him.
“You okay? You sound a little … off.”
“Yeah, I’m fine, just … thinking, I guess.”
Ryan huffs out a laugh and whispers, “See? Told you.” which earns him another squeeze from Michael, though not so much of the good kind.
“Oh boy …” she sighs.
“Yeah.”
“So what’s wrong?”
“I feel … out of place, I guess.”
“Out of place where? At home? Just come over, chill out for a few days. Get some sunshine into your eastcoast soul.”
He hears the smile in her voice. She tries to lighten him up when he doesn’t want her to. He doesn’t want her to be so damn chirpy when he’s about to do what he’s about to do.
“No, I feel … I’m out of place in this.”
“What is this, Mike? I don’t get it.”
Michael wants to groan and just bump his head against the wall, but there is no wall, just the top of Ryan’s head, so he rests there. He can smell the shampoo. Head and Shoulders. There are like a million bottles all over this place. The smell settles his mind. What’s his is Ryan’s.
“With you. I feel out of place with you.”
She doesn’t say anything for a few beats. Michael sort of expects her to laugh and tell him he’s now officially lost his mind.
“Okay.”
That’s all she says. No hint of anything. Not a question, no doubts, no nothing. Just her saying ‘Okay’.
“I don’t really know what I’m doing here, Megan. Like, how are we meant to work?”
“I think we’ve been working just fine.”
And ‘work’ is already being the keyword in this whole conversation. Because Michael doesn’t think that you should have to work on a relationship. You work on goals, you work to get in shape, you work to get paid at your job. But you don’t work if you seriously, 100% want to be with someone. If you want to be with someone, you are. No work necessary.
He feels Ryan shift against him, getting comfortable. He’s winding down and if this was another setting, he’d be asleep in under ten minutes. Knowing this, knowing how to read every movement of Ryan, it makes him smile. But then he remembers he isn’t supposed to smile right now.
“That’s the thing though.”
“What’s what thing, Michael? You’re making absolutely no sense.”
“I don’t wanna work on being with you.”
At this, Ryan hisses and Michael can imagine his face all too clearly, even if he can’t really see it right now. He can imagine Ryan’s face. He tries to think of how Megan might look right now. He can’t.
“Charming.” she grits out.
Michael backtracks. “No, I mean … I’ve been working for what feels like my entire life, you know? I’m twenty-fucking-seven and I don’t know how to not work on something. And just, for once in my life I want to not work. I just want things to be and … things just aren’t for us.”
Again, she doesn’t say anything for a few moments. She’s working through this, at least that’s what Michael guesses. She’s trying to make sense of things.
“Are you dumping me right now?”
“I’m sorry. I know it sucks doing it like this, but like … it would’ve sucked even more to just … to not tell you and wait. I mean, I don’t even know when we would’ve seen each other next time, you know.”
“Yeah … yeah, I guess you’re right.” She pauses. “You’re right, this sucks.”
“Sorry.”
It sounds so goddamn weak. Like a lame excuse to cheat your way out of something you can’t find the words for.
“We had a good run, though. Right? I mean, we’ve tried. We did, didn’t we?”
Michael just knows that, when she says ‘we’, she means ‘you’. And he doesn’t know what to say. He thinks he did try, but if he tried for real, he wouldn’t be sitting here with Ryan curled up against his side right now. If he had tried with Megan, being with Ryan should not feel as good as it does. And it does feel good. So good in fact that Michael can’t even bring himself to feel guilty for sort of cheating.
So he says, “We did our best.”
“Our best, but still not good enough.”
“I just … I had thought it’d be easier, you know.”
“I think we both did.”
“I probably should’ve … I don’t know. I was at a weird place when we started … this. I knew I was done, but I didn’t know how ‘done’ would actually be like. In real life, you know.”
“Yeah, but … do you think you can figure it out now?”
And Michael wants to say ‘yes’ immediately. Because not only does he think he can figure it out now, he knows that he can. Because Ryan will be there. Ryan who won’t spare more than a mild laugh when Michael slips into the pool in the lane next to his at practise. He won’t even bat an eyelash when Michael stuffs one of his speedos into his bag for competitions, just so a part of him will still be racing. Ryan didn’t care whether or not Michael was really done, because he knew what it was like. Once you’re swimming, you’re swimming. Whether you do it in a backyard pool or at the Olympics is only secondary. When you’re swimming for real, it just becomes part of you and, unless your body makes you, you never really quit. Ryan understands that. Megan doesn’t. For her, Michael is done and him doing a few laps means that he’s not letting go of the past, that he isn’t moving on.
Michael figuring things out simply means that he doesn’t have to figure things out.
“I’ll be okay.”
It’s as much of a ‘yes’ that he can give her without making it sound like the enthusiastic affirmation that it is.
“I mean, I was okay with you-“
“Oh god, just don’t!” Ryan hisses, giving a slap to Michael’s arm.
Michael ignores him. “Really, I was. We had … we were good. I had fun when we were together. But, I don’t know, something’s changed. And just … I think you deserve more.”
“Laaaaame.” Ryan mutters softly, which is earning him another slap.
“At least more than I can give you. You should be with someone who’s … not out of place. It’s just not… I’m not being fair.”
“Is there someone else?”
He wants to lie, but decides against it. It’s not fair to Ryan. “Kinda.” Michael looks down at the man leaning against him, his legs outstretched on the couch, typing on his phone.
It isn’t a lie.
Ryan just showed up when Michael expected him to be in Florida. Or god knows where he was spending his time nowadays. Certainly not anywhere where you had to wear actual clothes because there was actual weather. But still, Ryan’s here. On his doorstep. And Michael let him in. No questions asked. They don’t do that.
What they do is sit on the couch and eat food that’s against any athlete’s diet. Drink a little more than they should. Ryan is pissed off that he can’t smoke and Michael won’t do it without Ryan. And so they drink even more.
“Can I be honest with you?”
Ryan’s eyes are set and focused and if Michael hadn’t seen him drink and didn’t smell the faint hint of booze, he’d be sure Ryan was dead sober right now.
“Are you ever not honest with me?”
“I screwed up, I think.” Ryan leans his head against the back of the couch and let’s his head loll to the side to look at Michael.
“Screwed up how?”
“I don’t wanna be friendzoned, man.”
“Okay, one - did you really just use the word ‘friendzoned’? And two - I’ve seen your girl, dude. I don’t think you’ll be in that zone for much longer.”
“Nonono, not with” he pauses, thinking, “her.”
Michael erupts in laughter. “You forgot her name? Dude, that’s cold.”
“I don’t wanna be in a friendzone with you.”
Michael immediately stops laughing and just stares at Ryan.
“And like, I know I’ve been acting like an asshole after London, you know. Like not coming to your retirement party and ‘forgetting’ to put you on the list for my birthday party and all that. But I mean, I figured Megan would be around and I may hit my head a lot, but I still have some sense left up in there, you know? I’m not gonna torture myself seeing you with her when I’m sorta celebrating the fact that I won’t get to see you as often anymore, that’s just plain stupid.”
Michael still stares and he’s suddenly overrun by just wanting to get lost in Ryan’s eyes and wanting to hold him and kiss him and make everything right that has apparently been not quite right for so many years.
And maybe it’s the alcohol loosening his senses or maybe, definitely, knowing that this is Ryan is making it all easier than Michael had ever thought it could be. Whatever it is, it makes him lean over and press his lips on Ryan’s and it’s like Michael is suddenly seeing the light. Lame as it sounds, but with Ryan’s lips on his, everything is making sense and things are falling into place when Michael hadn’t even realised they were out of place before.
Ryan tenses at first and relaxes quickly and his fingers dig into Michael’s forearm that’s sliding up his thigh to rest on his hip. He moans and Michael’s tongue sneaks past his lips curiously and just like that, nothing else is important.
But then reality makes itself known and Ryan pulls away, his hand firmly on Michael’s chest, stopping him from leaning in again.
“What?”
“I can’t do that, Mike. Not like this.”
Michael has no idea what he means. Because ten seconds ago, he was kissing Ryan and everything was more right than it had ever been before and now suddenly, everything wasn’t.
“You have a girlfriend.”
“Oh.” Because really, he had forgotten for just that moment. And he thinks he should feel guilty and wrong. He doesn’t.
Ryan smiles a little. “Yeah, oh.” He sighs. “I’m not gonna be ‘the other one’, Michael. I won’t do that. And as much as I would like to right now, I just … no. Not when she’s in the picture. It’s either-or.”
And for some reason - because it’s Ryan - being given an ultimatum about his life somehow seems like the easiest challenge he ever had to face.
“It’s you.”
Ryan smiles and exhales and he leans his head on Michael’s shoulder. “Awesome.”
“There’s someone else.” And he holds himself back from making it delight himself more than it should, seeing as he’s telling her now, not telling himself. “Really, I’m sorry. I wish it had worked out better.” he says instead.
“Yeah, me too.”
“You’re gonna find someone better. Shouldn’t even be that hard.”
Megan laughs lightly at that.
“I’m sorry.” he says again, like just saying it often enough will make it more of an acceptable thing. “I feel like I have let you down.”
“You have literally just done that.”
“No, but like … as a friend. We are friends, aren’t we?”
Ryan just snorts and mumbles under his breath, “Yeah right, friends my balls.”
Michael doesn’t even bother smacking Ryan again. Because this time - like a lot of the time, actually - he’s right. He knows that, once he hangs up, he’ll never hear from Megan again. And he knows he’s dropping clichés left and right, but somehow he feels that he owes her this much after wasting her time for this long.
“You didn’t let me down, Michael. I mean, you did, but … you didn’t disappoint me, if that’s what you’re worried about. It’s fine. I’ll be fine.”
“Okay.”
And this time it’s Michael’s voice that’s void of all emotions. He is out of things to say.
“So … that’s that.”
“That’s that.” he repeats.
There’s a moment of silence and Michael doesn’t know whether to speak or listen. His instincts aren’t fine-tuned to Megan.
“Goodbye Michael.” She seems rushed, like she really just wants to get out of this conversation right now, like she reached that point where she can’t take it anymore.
“Bye Megan. Sorry.”
“Yeah.”
And then the line goes dead. Michael just looks at his phone for a few more seconds, seeing his wallpaper come up again, before he tosses it to the side, resting his head on top of Ryan’s again.
“That’s that.”
Another silence, but this time, Michael knows exactly how to read it. This is Ryan processing things. How he should be happy because he is one step closer to everything, but the feeling of taking everything away from another person for him to get it. A normal thing in the pool, something he’s not really fond of outside of it.
“It’s okay, Ry.”
“Yeah?”
Michael nods, shifting a little so Ryan’s back is against his chest now. He wraps his arm around him properly and just holds him close.
“Now it’s gonna be me and you.”