Fic-Post: Ain't nothin but a G-Thang (Swimming RPS)
because if you see this and not automatically think of ryan lochte, what is actually wrong with you?
Title: Ain't Noting But A G-Thang
Pairing: Ryan Lochte/Michael Phelps
Rating: PG-13
Word Count: 2,123
Warnings: don't think so
Disclaimer: i really don't think so.
Summary: Ryan gets a new car.
Author's Note: set in 2014 for effect.
Dedication: smellyleaf and hadrons
AIN’T NOTHIN BUT A G-THANG
At first Michael is a more than a little dubious when Ryan calls him and tells him to get ready to be picked up in an hour for a ‘special date’. For one, because Ryan is in Florida for a few days and also, it’s freaking 2am. But then there is some part of his brain that says, ‘it’s Ryan, okay?’ and that’s really something Michael cannot argue with. ‘It’s Ryan’ is basically his go-to-answer when the question at hand has something to do with … well, Ryan.
So Michael gets out of bed (he hasn’t slept yet anyway, he can’t really do that very well when Ryan is not there) and gets ready. He doesn’t know what to get ready for though, so he just opts for the classic jeans, tshirt and hoodie solution.
And sure enough, 47 minutes later, his phone rings and it’s Ryan. “You ready, MP? Don’t make me come up there and get you, the effect will be lost, bro.”
Michael has no idea what Ryan means this time, so he just says, “I’ll be right down.”, grabs his wallet and keys and is out of the door.
Michael gets downstairs and opens the door and … no. He cannot possibly see what he’s seeing. He is most definitely still asleep or he has a very spontaneous outburst of a fever and he’s delirous from it and he’s totally seeing things. Because this? Can. Not. Be. Real.
Ryan is sitting on the hood of a new car, eyes and smile comically wide and actually shaking in excitement. Which is nothing unusual, because Ryan loves his wheels about as much as he loves shoes (anything that gets him from point A to point B, basically), but what’s unusual is the actual car Ryan is so excited about.
Michael is looking at a silver Mercedes with the top down. Nothing wrong with that. The fact that the car looks like someone literally dunked it in silver fairydust or crystals is, however, everything that’s wrong with it. The car is bedazzled entirely, front to back, top to bottom. The only thing that is not completely bling-ed out are the tyres. And the seats. But the seats are covered in white fuzzy fur so that’s not actually any better.
“Isn’t she like the most awesome thing ever?”
Michael’s jaw hasn’t yet returned to its usual state (closed) and his rapid blinking somehow doesn’t make the affront to German automobiles vanish.
Suddenly, Ryan is standing next to him, looking at the car like he just gave birth to it or something.
“I got her custom-made down in Miami, isn’t she beautiful? I picked her up this morning.”
And the crazy thing isn’t that Ryan drove straight from Miami to Baltimore, but that he drove straight from Miami to Baltimore in that and didn’t get thrown into an insane asylum before he made it out of Miami.
“Get in, we’re going for a spin.”
The suggestion makes Michael’s senses kick in again.
“Fuck no.”
“What do you mean, fuck no?”
“Fuck no, I am not getting into that thing.”
“She’s totally safe, Mike. She’s got like, airbags and shit. And driving her is so awesome. She purrs like a kitty.”
“Ryan, have you seen this thing?”
“I know the seats are little out there, but like, she came with them. I’m gonna buy new covers tomorrow, but I couldn’t wait to show her to you.”
“Funny how you think that the seats are the only problem about that thing.”
“Destiny.”
Michael blinks. “What?”
“Her name is Destiny. Y’know, like Destiny’s Child? Lil Destiny sounds like a name for a stupid girl-car and Destiny Junior sounds like the name for a fucking beetle, so she is Destiny’s Child that’s also named Destiny.”
Michael balls his hand up into a fist and brings it up to his mouth, holding it against his lips, like he has to bottle up all the words that want to come out.
“Don’t you like her?”
“Ryan, this is a fucking bedazzled car!” Seriously, can’t Ryan see this?
“Yeah, so?”
“It. Is. A. Bedazzled. Car.”
“I. Know. That. Is. What. Makes. It. Awesome.”
Michael sighs. Sure, this thing is probably the very essence of Ryan, but he totally has another thing coming when he thinks Michael is actually going be driven around in it where people can see him, or even where people can’t. He may not be swimming anymore, but Jesus, it’s not like he left his dignity behind when he left the medal stand.
“I’m not going to be seen in this.”
“It’s 3am, Mike. Nobody is actually awake to see you anyway.”
Ryan moves to stand in front of him, blocking Michael’s vision of glistening, no, sparkling, silver.
“Come on, Mike. Just a quick spin. I drove all the way from fucking Miami to take my man out in this.” And he is seriously pouting and batting his eyelids and Michael seriously hates him right now. And when Ryan presses a chaste kiss onto Michael lips, his lips totally taste salty because he’s driven along the coastline, and Michael hates himself a little more because
“Okay, fine. But I swear to God, if I see just one ray of sunshine before this” he points at the car behind Ryan, “is behind the closed doors of the garage, I’ll be getting out and if it’s on a fucking highway.”
Ryan presses another quick kiss onto Michael lips. “You’re, like, seriously the best boyfriend in the world!” and he skips (yes, he really fucking skips) over to the driver’s side of the car and gets in, revving up the engine. And it sucks, but Michael has to admit that it is a pretty nice sound.
Reluctantly, he gets into the car and he’ll be damned, but the seats are horribly comfortable. There’s also plenty of legroom and, aside from the fact that a polar bear has to probably walk around without his fur just so those seats could get covered, the interior of the car is pretty nice.
They buckle up and Ryan drives off, giving he wheels a little bit of extra spin, burning a little rubber as he sets off into the Baltimore night.
“You’re not taking me to someplace where people can see this, right?”
“Jeez Michael, she is not that bad.”
“Ryan, I totally love you, but yeah. She is that bad. I can’t believe that the cops didn’t pull you over.”
Ryan pulls a face and his voice gets small and silent and Michael can barely hear him over the sound of the engine. “Well, they kinda did.”
Michael laughs.
“Well, how the fuck am I supposed to know that, like, driving a car like this isn’t allowed? I mean, they made her for me, so I figured I can drive her. But apparently, it’s like endangerment of other drivers or something.”
“Well, duh! You can probably see this car from space, imagine driving with the lights on and a freaking car-sized mirror is coming towards you.”
“Sucks though. I mean, she drives fucking nice, does she?”
“Yeah. That she does.”
And Ryan drives along and Michael looks at the city going past and if he ignores that he’s sitting in a giant disco ball, this whole thing is actually pretty nice.
Ryan navigates them through the city easily. Like he’s never been anywhere else in his entire life. Like Baltimore is as much a part of him as it’s of Michael. He’s going towards one of the tunnels and Michael gets more and more curious where this mysterious date is supposed to end up at. Ryan goes past the harbour and they end up in a deserted parking lot.
“We’re here.” Ryan announces and kills the engine, before getting out of the car. He goes to sit on the hood of the car again and Michael follows him, leaning against the hood, instead of sitting on it.
The view is pretty breathtaking, the city of Baltimore stretched out in front of them, little lights scattered all over. Like someone threw a million Christmas lights all over the city.
“So this is the big date you had me get out of bed at 3am for?”
Ryan smiles and shakes his head. “You actually forgot.”
“Forgot what?”
“What’s today’s date?”
And Michael checks his phone. “August, 14th … oh.”
He immediately remembers. How could he not remember? It’s the day where his entire life changed. He won his first Gold in Athens and Ryan had cornered him after the Medal Ceremony and had kissed him so hard that he still gets out of breath from just thinking about it. His first Gold Medal. Their first kiss. And he remembers the latter way more intense than the former.
“Allison said you’d totally forget.” Ryan snickers, shaking his head a little again. He pulls something out of his pocket and hands it to Michael. “Happy anniversary, fucker.”
Michael looks at a folded envelope in his hand. It’s light, like there isn’t anything in there, but Michael still unfolds it and rips it open. His eyes nearly pop out of his skull for the second time that night when he sees what’s inside.
“Fuck … what … shit.” he stammers.
He reaches in and pulls out a platinum ring. Nothing big or fancy, just a very simple platinum band.
“We’ve been dating for, like, ten years. And it’s like, it’s major, dude.” Ryan says, “And like, this doesn’t have to mean anything, I just, ten years is a fucking long time and like, you mean the fucking world to me, Mike. I know I’m totally nuts most of the time because I buy a fucking bedazzled car and I drive all day from Miami to Baltimore and I take you out at 3am. But for some reason, you’re letting me take you out at 3am in a bedazzled car, even though you totally know that I’m nuts, and I love you so much. Really, I do. And I don’t know why you’re still with me, I honestly don’t. And it’s like, I guess this means thank you for loving me. And for, like, for staying with me.”
Michael is just staring at the ring and at Ryan and back at the ring.
“But, you know …” and Ryan scratches his neck and looks down at his crossed legs in front of him, picking at his shoelaces with his other hand, “I mean, if you wanted for it to mean something else, then … I mean, I guess that … it could also mean that.”
And Michael absolutely cannot believe his ears right now. His head is making up scenearios in which Ryan did not do what he just did and Michael needs to make sure. Because this is Ryan and he’s the love of his life and if he didn’t do what Michael thinks he just did, it may actually break his heart. Because he wants what he thinks Ryan wants. He pushes himself off the car and moves to stand in front of Ryan. He leans forward and puts his finger under Ryan’s chin, tipping his head back up.
“If you’re asking, I’m going to say yes.”
And suddenly, Ryan’s face is just smile and his eyes are shining brighter than this stupid car. He slides of the hood of the car, his legs on either side of the man in front of him, and cups Michael’s face in his hands and he feels Michael’s pulse pick up against his hands.
“Will you marry me? Please.” he says, his voice cracking just a tiny little bit over the last word.
And Michael nods, resting his forehead against Ryan’s, breathing out his answer. “Yes.”
Ryan exhales in relief and he closes the reminding gap and kisses Michael, long and hard and full of love.
Michael is just as breathless as ten years ago when they break the kiss and he can’t stop staring at Ryan. The most amazing man on earth who just asked him to be his for the rest of his life.
Ryan reaches for Michael’s hand and takes the ring from him. He slips it on Michael’s finger and then just stares at Michael’s hand, like he can’t believe that this is real.
Michael leans forward and kisses Ryan’s neck, sucking a little on the skin before he whispers, “Hey Ryan?”
“Yeah?” Ryan is still staring at Michael’s hand in his, brushing his thumb over the ring.
“Keep the car.”
And Michael really doesn’t care that the car will definitely be permanently parked in the garage because it will forever be a part of this night and, ridiculous looking or not, it’s not something Michael will ever give away.