On love
So I've been bad with updating my journal. I've gone through periods before where I neglected my journal. Lately, it's because I've been too lazy to sit down and write. But I would be remiss if I didn't write down all the lovely things that have been going on with me.
A few weeks ago, I told Green Eyes I needed to go to the Apple store to fix my laptop because it has been overheating a lot. When I came home from work the next day, I saw the keyboard on my desk was different. Then I saw it...A brand new Retina 5k- 27 inch iMac where my external monitor and laptop used to be. I die! "You bought me a computer?!?!?" I exclaimed. He looked at me simply and replied, "You said your laptop was broken." I had to tell me to come eat dinner first before playing on my computer. I was so exicted to do homework when the weekend came.
Today, I told Green Eyes Crystallis was gonna come over for crafts and taco Tuesday at the place we always go to. As I was sitting at my desk, he hands me $60 in cash he had. "For tacos tonight," he simply said to me. I told him I didn't need it but he didn't take it back. I DIE so hard!
As I sit, still so full from dinner, on my beautiful computer, I can't help but know I am so extremely lucky to have him. And it isn't because of the brand new car I drive or the huge apartment I live in or the other material things he has given me that I feel lucky. Well, it is a lot that because receiving gifts is my love language. But I never have to wonder if he loves me cuz he constantly renews the feeling for me. My love tank can never empty when he showers me with wonderful gifts. Some people think my love language is about material things but it isn't. They're a physical representation of his love for me. I appreciate the thought behind it more than anything. I needed a car when Walden was falling apart and he got me one. I needed a place to live when my mom wanted me out and he made space for me in his place. I needed to get my laptop fixed cuz the fan kept running and he replaced the whole thing with something better. He is always thinking about me and my needs. He's amazing.
He was telling me last night that his little sister asked if she could borrow a car from his dealership while hers was in the shop for repairs. "Why isn't her baby daddy taking care of that?" I wondered. "He should be! I told her 'My girl isn't carrying my baby but she still has a place to live'," he says shaking his head. Hehe. I'm his girl. But when he said that, it made me more secure to know all that he gives and does for me is cuz he loves me, not cuz of some biological obligation. He loves me.