Change...
I want so much change in my life. Ideally, I want to change myself to the point where I am doing well... That I'm reading for my classes, that I'm working out, that I'm eating better...I want to get myself into a better schedule. I want to be able to look at my life and say that I"m doing everything I can to live a good life that I can be proud of. I want to find a house for Kalvin and I to make our own. I want to live with JUST HIM. Yes, I would like to live with some friends of mine...But, I can't imagine not living with him now. I can't imagine not falling asleep next to him every single night. I want that now. I've kinda broken out of my old mindset that sex, love, living with another person, has to wait until marriage. That is an ideal situation. But, the truth of the matter is....that just doesn't happen anymore. Thats now how it works. And I can understand that. If you love someone, really LOVE them, its hard to spend so much time alone. Its pointless for both of us to have separate homes. We'd be at one another place all the time, so its ridiculous to consider being apart. I want to figure out what I want to do with my life. Where I want to live. Where I want to go to grad school... I'm ready to get a handle on my life. And start my LIFE. I want to stop skating through it and actually love it.