Aug 31, 2010 13:00
I missed my first class of my second day of classes. Way to go molly Sue. Its whatever. Jay and I was up late texting and then he texted me early this morning to let me know a song way playing on the radio...obviously he was thinking of me. Made my morning. But I fell back asleep and slept through my alarm. It is what it is. I was just thankful for the connection I felt with him last night.
I'm starting to get my life going the way that I want. I've found that if I see my friends more often and take control of my life more, I dont freak out when he doesn't call me or text me back. Pathetic, but whatever- I'm a girl. Shit happens. The sad part is sometimes the excitement he gave me was the only type of excitement I had. So of course I would be upset when I didn't hear from him for a while. Now, I'm hanging out with my friends more, I'm starting school again...I finally have money to be able to do the things I've wanted to do. Going home, for example. My mom is having her galbladder out on Thursday so I'm going to go home tonight and have dinner with her and stay the night. It'll be nice to be home.
My sister and brother and everyone really has been giving me shit for not being home. but the thing is- I'm tired of being home all the time to watch chaos unfold before my eyes. I just want to live my own life for once. Just breath for myself...keep myself under wraps versus making sure everyone else is okay. They're grown adults, they shouldn't need the youngest to keep them together. I'm not a counselour yet. I need to live my own life too. May sound selfish...but after months of being there for everyone but myself, I think I can take a breather for once.