I Am No Angel Chapter 10 Part 2
Title: I Am No Angel
Author: Miss Meh
Pairing: Dean/Castiel, Sam/Gabriel, Adam/Michael
Rating: NC-17 for swearing and explicit sex
Warnings: AU, copious amounts of fluff and sexual innuendo, fusion with Beauty and the Beast
Spoilers: None
Word Count: 6405
Status: WIP
Summary: His wings always seemed to be the problem, Castiel figured. But when he and his family move to Sioux Falls and he meets a Beast locked away in a castle, could his wings be the solution?
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Dean was confused. What the fuck was wrong with Cas? He’d been acting like a total asshole for days now. Well, actually, he’d been going back and forth between the polar opposites of ‘total dick’ and ‘total girl’. Dean couldn’t keep up. One minute, Cas was all over him, acting like a chick and talking about love and shit like that-which Dean might not have minded as much as he pretended he did-and the next, the guy was yelling at him over completely insignificant things. Hell, Cas had even picked up sarcasm, which Dean knew for sure he hadn’t used before this schizophrenic shit started. Dean loved the guy, but Cas was seriously starting to scare him.
And so he did what he usually did when he was in a jam. He went to Sam.
Well, truthfully, he had tried to go to Sam when it first started happening, but his brother had still been holed up in his room with Gabriel and Dean seriously did not want to hear that shit. So he waited. And waited. And then waited some more for good measure. By the time Sam and Gabriel finally emerged from their epic fuckfest-four fucking days after they had locked themselves in their room, god damn it-Dean was at wit’s end and trying to look for other alternatives. He didn’t know Michael or Bobby well enough to be comfortable talking about it with them and Adam looked like he hadn’t slept at all since the battle.
It was only then that he realized that Adam’s room was in between his and Sam’s. Well, fuck.
Dean was about to say something to him, ask if he wanted to stay in his room that night or something like that, when Sam and Gabriel waltzed in looking-ironically enough-well rested and way too fucking happy. Dean breathed a sigh of relief and said sarcastically, “Good to see you two up and about.” A pause. “Or you know, not up, thank god.”
Sam’s face twisted, but he didn’t respond. Instead, he took Gabriel’s hand and dragged him as far away from Dean as possible before sitting down. Sam seemed to be in too good a mood to hold a grudge though, so a few minutes later they were laughing and joking like usual.
“Dean, would you like to go to the library with me?” Cas asked as everyone was getting up from the table.
Dean looked at the angel warily for a second. He didn’t want to piss Cas off-that had been happening way too often lately-but he really needed to talk to Sam. Preferably without Cas around to hear them talking about him behind his back. So he said, “Yeah, Cas, that sounds great. I’ll be there in a minute. Gotta talk to Sammy first.” He sent what he hoped was a reassuring grin at Cas.
Cas stared at Dean for a moment before turning away from him. “Fine,” he huffed. “I know well enough when I am not wanted.” Without another word, Cas stomped out of the dining hall, his wings quivering behind him with barely repressed emotions.
Everybody stared after the angel for a moment before turning to look at Dean with a ‘What the fuck?’ expression on their faces. Dean was pretty shocked himself, but he just sighed and turned to his brother. “Sammy?” He motioned with his head toward the door leading into the hall. Sam nodded and they fell into step together as they walked.
“Dude, what was that about?” Sam asked the minute they were alone.
Dean shook his head. “I don’t know, Sammy,” he admitted. “Kinda what I wanted to talk to you about. Cas’s been acting weird pretty much since the battle.” He rubbed a hand over the back of his neck. “It’s starting to really worry me. His mood swings lately…”
“What about them?” Sam pressed.
Dean sighed. “I just… I don’t think I’ve ever seen Cas get angry before and now-now that we’re together and that evil bastard Lucifer was sent to Hell where he belongs, now that we’re supposed to be happy-we have to deal with this… this whatever-it-is.” Dean shoulders slumped a bit and he closed his eyes. “I love him so much and I was just hoping-I don’t know-that maybe things might go our way for once.”
Dean opened his eyes and looked at Sam. His brother was gaping at him. Dean’s defenses immediately went up. “What?”
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Sam was shocked. He gaped at his brother for a moment before he registered Dean’s question. “Dean, you just talked about your feelings.” When Dean’s nonplussed look registered, Sam rolled his eyes. “What is it you usually call it? Touchy-feely sentimental shit? Whatever got into the water around here is obviously affecting you too.”
Instead of getting pissed and defensive like Sam expected, Dean just shrugged. “Whatever, man. I’m not the issue here. Cas is. You gotta help me figure out what’s wrong with him.”
“Okay,” Sam said, drawing out the word. He wasn’t planning on letting Dean’s odd behavior go, but he could pretend to do so for now. “So, Castiel’s been acting weird. What’s happened lately that would affect his emotional state?” And are Dean and Castiel’s strange behavior related in some way? Sam had the good sense not to ask this one out loud, but he made a note to analyze everything Dean said until he figured it out.
Dean frowned in thought. “I asked him to marry me?”
Sam sighed. “Dean, don’t phrase that like a question. Castiel might take offense and think that you are unsure about whether or not you want him.” He was silent for a moment, considering what Dean had said before shaking his head. “Is there anything else?”
Sam watched Dean’s brow furrow as he searched his mind for the answer. As awareness dawned, Sam would swear that he saw the proverbial light flicker to life above his brother’s head. “When I changed back, Cas and I… Well, we did this freaky mind-meld thing and when we woke up, I had this.” Dean rolled his shirt sleeve up to reveal his left shoulder.
“What the…” Sam exclaimed, inhaling sharply as his eyes widened in astonishment. There was a handprint burned into Dean’s shoulder-red, puffy, and obviously still healing. If Sam were the type to make bets-which he wasn’t and that time with the Irish guy who turned out to be a witch didn’t count no matter what Dean said-he would say that the handprint was a perfect match for the angel’s. “You couldn’t have mentioned this earlier, Dean?”
Dean avoided eye contact for a moment, eyes fixed sheepishly on the floor, before finally looking back up to meet Sam’s gaze. “I was fucking embarrassed, okay? Hell, Cas branded me. It’s like I got ‘Castiel’s Bitch’ tattooed on my ass.” Sam felt a grin pushing his lips upward. He was glad to finally see some of his brother’s usual personality coming back to him. Then Dean had to go and ruin it. “Besides,” Dean said, and if Sam didn’t know better, he would swear his brother was pouting. “When I asked Cas about it, all he would say was that we shared a ‘profound bond’, whatever the fuck that means. And now, he’s barely talking to me half of the time. D’you think…” Dean bit his lip and Sam, who was usually all for pushing his brother into caring and sharing mode, had to suppress a shudder at the sheer emotion in Dean’s voice. “Do you think he regrets it?”
Sam didn’t ask what Dean meant. There were several different ways he could interpret the question-Does he regret saving me? Does he regret loving me? Does he regret agreeing to marry me?-but Sam knew that he would answer the same way no matter what exactly Dean was asking. “Dean, don’t be an idiot. Castiel loves you. This bond isn’t going to change that. In fact, from what I’ve read about them…” Sam felt Dean’s eyes on him as he trailed off, but he was on to something and couldn’t break his concentration long enough to explain what he was thinking. He gasped as he put two and two together. “Dean, your bond! According to my reading, a bond is formed by the merging of two souls. That’s why you guys’ve been acting so weird. You are adjusting to being one soul in two bodies. Your emotions have basically been all jumbled together and your brains are still trying to pick out which ones belong to which body. That’s why Cas has been more volatile lately and why you’ve been so in touch with your feelings.” Sam smiled widely, proud of himself for having figured this out. “It all makes sense now.”
Dean stared at him for a moment before turning abruptly and walking quickly down the hall. “I gotta talk to Cas,” he said, his voice fading as he rounded the corner. “Make sure no one disturbs us.”
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What’s wrong with me? Castiel wondered as he sat in the library sulking. He thought back on his actions over the past few days and realized that he had been acting-as Dean would say-like a total dick since Lucifer’s fall. Castiel felt bad about the way he had treated everyone, but most especially Dean. The angel had to admit that if he had been in Dean’s position, he wouldn’t have wanted to put up with himself.
This notion worried him. What if Dean really didn’t want him around anymore? Castiel might have implied earlier that this might be the case, but at the time, he hadn’t actually believed it could be true. Was it possible? Could Dean be sick of him already?
Castiel’s thoughts were still chasing themselves in circles a while later when Dean found him. The angel didn’t even notice that his human was there until Dean sat down next to him. Castiel’s eyes swiveled over to meet Dean’s and for a moment neither of them spoke.
Then Dean cleared his throat and said, “So, about this bond…” He paused as though unsure how to continue.
Castiel felt a sudden tightness in his chest and his stomach appeared to be performing some sort of acrobatics without his consent. He wrenched his gaze away from Dean’s face. This was it. Castiel didn’t know what Dean wanted to say, but he feared the worst. Dean was going to blame him for trapping him with the bond. He rushed to speak, to beg, to do something to keep his human. “I know that this isn’t what you wanted. I will leave the castle if that is your wish.” Castiel kept his head lowered and didn’t see the shocked horror in Dean’s eyes.
He did, however, hear the pained gasp that accompanied it.
And then, Dean growled and grabbed Castiel’s hand, pressing it to the matching handprint on his shoulder. The angel’s head jerked up as the grief he had caused Dean flowed into him through the bond along with a myriad of other emotions. A lifetime of feelings-from the awe that Dean had felt the first time he had held Adam to the satisfaction he felt every time he hunted down one of the soulless creatures that prowled the night-poured into Castiel. Through the haze of memories and sensations, the angel vaguely felt Dean pull him into his arms, but then he was swept away once more as the purest, most cherished emotion filled him.
Dean’s love. He felt as though he might burst as it reached every single part of him. In that moment he knew what he had been unsure of before. Dean loved him. Dean wanted this bond because it assured him that they would always be together. This wasn’t something that even death could take from them. Their souls were one now, so entangled with one another that it would be impossible for them to be separated. And Dean was happy.
This realization caused Castiel’s body to seize up with pleasure and he felt Dean’s arms tighten around him as they both tumbled over the edge into oblivion.
Chapter Ten Part One | Masterpost | Chapter Eleven
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DEPENDING ON THE RATIO OF REVIEWERS TO VISITORS, I MAY HAVE LISA STEAL DEAN AWAY IN THE MIDDLE OF THE WEDDING. IF YOU DON’T WISH FOR THIS TO HAPPEN, REVIEW. YOU’VE BEEN WARNED. XP
Author: Miss Meh
Pairing: Dean/Castiel, Sam/Gabriel, Adam/Michael
Rating: NC-17 for swearing and explicit sex
Warnings: AU, copious amounts of fluff and sexual innuendo, fusion with Beauty and the Beast
Spoilers: None
Word Count: 6405
Status: WIP
Summary: His wings always seemed to be the problem, Castiel figured. But when he and his family move to Sioux Falls and he meets a Beast locked away in a castle, could his wings be the solution?
................................................................................
Dean was confused. What the fuck was wrong with Cas? He’d been acting like a total asshole for days now. Well, actually, he’d been going back and forth between the polar opposites of ‘total dick’ and ‘total girl’. Dean couldn’t keep up. One minute, Cas was all over him, acting like a chick and talking about love and shit like that-which Dean might not have minded as much as he pretended he did-and the next, the guy was yelling at him over completely insignificant things. Hell, Cas had even picked up sarcasm, which Dean knew for sure he hadn’t used before this schizophrenic shit started. Dean loved the guy, but Cas was seriously starting to scare him.
And so he did what he usually did when he was in a jam. He went to Sam.
Well, truthfully, he had tried to go to Sam when it first started happening, but his brother had still been holed up in his room with Gabriel and Dean seriously did not want to hear that shit. So he waited. And waited. And then waited some more for good measure. By the time Sam and Gabriel finally emerged from their epic fuckfest-four fucking days after they had locked themselves in their room, god damn it-Dean was at wit’s end and trying to look for other alternatives. He didn’t know Michael or Bobby well enough to be comfortable talking about it with them and Adam looked like he hadn’t slept at all since the battle.
It was only then that he realized that Adam’s room was in between his and Sam’s. Well, fuck.
Dean was about to say something to him, ask if he wanted to stay in his room that night or something like that, when Sam and Gabriel waltzed in looking-ironically enough-well rested and way too fucking happy. Dean breathed a sigh of relief and said sarcastically, “Good to see you two up and about.” A pause. “Or you know, not up, thank god.”
Sam’s face twisted, but he didn’t respond. Instead, he took Gabriel’s hand and dragged him as far away from Dean as possible before sitting down. Sam seemed to be in too good a mood to hold a grudge though, so a few minutes later they were laughing and joking like usual.
“Dean, would you like to go to the library with me?” Cas asked as everyone was getting up from the table.
Dean looked at the angel warily for a second. He didn’t want to piss Cas off-that had been happening way too often lately-but he really needed to talk to Sam. Preferably without Cas around to hear them talking about him behind his back. So he said, “Yeah, Cas, that sounds great. I’ll be there in a minute. Gotta talk to Sammy first.” He sent what he hoped was a reassuring grin at Cas.
Cas stared at Dean for a moment before turning away from him. “Fine,” he huffed. “I know well enough when I am not wanted.” Without another word, Cas stomped out of the dining hall, his wings quivering behind him with barely repressed emotions.
Everybody stared after the angel for a moment before turning to look at Dean with a ‘What the fuck?’ expression on their faces. Dean was pretty shocked himself, but he just sighed and turned to his brother. “Sammy?” He motioned with his head toward the door leading into the hall. Sam nodded and they fell into step together as they walked.
“Dude, what was that about?” Sam asked the minute they were alone.
Dean shook his head. “I don’t know, Sammy,” he admitted. “Kinda what I wanted to talk to you about. Cas’s been acting weird pretty much since the battle.” He rubbed a hand over the back of his neck. “It’s starting to really worry me. His mood swings lately…”
“What about them?” Sam pressed.
Dean sighed. “I just… I don’t think I’ve ever seen Cas get angry before and now-now that we’re together and that evil bastard Lucifer was sent to Hell where he belongs, now that we’re supposed to be happy-we have to deal with this… this whatever-it-is.” Dean shoulders slumped a bit and he closed his eyes. “I love him so much and I was just hoping-I don’t know-that maybe things might go our way for once.”
Dean opened his eyes and looked at Sam. His brother was gaping at him. Dean’s defenses immediately went up. “What?”
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Sam was shocked. He gaped at his brother for a moment before he registered Dean’s question. “Dean, you just talked about your feelings.” When Dean’s nonplussed look registered, Sam rolled his eyes. “What is it you usually call it? Touchy-feely sentimental shit? Whatever got into the water around here is obviously affecting you too.”
Instead of getting pissed and defensive like Sam expected, Dean just shrugged. “Whatever, man. I’m not the issue here. Cas is. You gotta help me figure out what’s wrong with him.”
“Okay,” Sam said, drawing out the word. He wasn’t planning on letting Dean’s odd behavior go, but he could pretend to do so for now. “So, Castiel’s been acting weird. What’s happened lately that would affect his emotional state?” And are Dean and Castiel’s strange behavior related in some way? Sam had the good sense not to ask this one out loud, but he made a note to analyze everything Dean said until he figured it out.
Dean frowned in thought. “I asked him to marry me?”
Sam sighed. “Dean, don’t phrase that like a question. Castiel might take offense and think that you are unsure about whether or not you want him.” He was silent for a moment, considering what Dean had said before shaking his head. “Is there anything else?”
Sam watched Dean’s brow furrow as he searched his mind for the answer. As awareness dawned, Sam would swear that he saw the proverbial light flicker to life above his brother’s head. “When I changed back, Cas and I… Well, we did this freaky mind-meld thing and when we woke up, I had this.” Dean rolled his shirt sleeve up to reveal his left shoulder.
“What the…” Sam exclaimed, inhaling sharply as his eyes widened in astonishment. There was a handprint burned into Dean’s shoulder-red, puffy, and obviously still healing. If Sam were the type to make bets-which he wasn’t and that time with the Irish guy who turned out to be a witch didn’t count no matter what Dean said-he would say that the handprint was a perfect match for the angel’s. “You couldn’t have mentioned this earlier, Dean?”
Dean avoided eye contact for a moment, eyes fixed sheepishly on the floor, before finally looking back up to meet Sam’s gaze. “I was fucking embarrassed, okay? Hell, Cas branded me. It’s like I got ‘Castiel’s Bitch’ tattooed on my ass.” Sam felt a grin pushing his lips upward. He was glad to finally see some of his brother’s usual personality coming back to him. Then Dean had to go and ruin it. “Besides,” Dean said, and if Sam didn’t know better, he would swear his brother was pouting. “When I asked Cas about it, all he would say was that we shared a ‘profound bond’, whatever the fuck that means. And now, he’s barely talking to me half of the time. D’you think…” Dean bit his lip and Sam, who was usually all for pushing his brother into caring and sharing mode, had to suppress a shudder at the sheer emotion in Dean’s voice. “Do you think he regrets it?”
Sam didn’t ask what Dean meant. There were several different ways he could interpret the question-Does he regret saving me? Does he regret loving me? Does he regret agreeing to marry me?-but Sam knew that he would answer the same way no matter what exactly Dean was asking. “Dean, don’t be an idiot. Castiel loves you. This bond isn’t going to change that. In fact, from what I’ve read about them…” Sam felt Dean’s eyes on him as he trailed off, but he was on to something and couldn’t break his concentration long enough to explain what he was thinking. He gasped as he put two and two together. “Dean, your bond! According to my reading, a bond is formed by the merging of two souls. That’s why you guys’ve been acting so weird. You are adjusting to being one soul in two bodies. Your emotions have basically been all jumbled together and your brains are still trying to pick out which ones belong to which body. That’s why Cas has been more volatile lately and why you’ve been so in touch with your feelings.” Sam smiled widely, proud of himself for having figured this out. “It all makes sense now.”
Dean stared at him for a moment before turning abruptly and walking quickly down the hall. “I gotta talk to Cas,” he said, his voice fading as he rounded the corner. “Make sure no one disturbs us.”
............................................................................................
What’s wrong with me? Castiel wondered as he sat in the library sulking. He thought back on his actions over the past few days and realized that he had been acting-as Dean would say-like a total dick since Lucifer’s fall. Castiel felt bad about the way he had treated everyone, but most especially Dean. The angel had to admit that if he had been in Dean’s position, he wouldn’t have wanted to put up with himself.
This notion worried him. What if Dean really didn’t want him around anymore? Castiel might have implied earlier that this might be the case, but at the time, he hadn’t actually believed it could be true. Was it possible? Could Dean be sick of him already?
Castiel’s thoughts were still chasing themselves in circles a while later when Dean found him. The angel didn’t even notice that his human was there until Dean sat down next to him. Castiel’s eyes swiveled over to meet Dean’s and for a moment neither of them spoke.
Then Dean cleared his throat and said, “So, about this bond…” He paused as though unsure how to continue.
Castiel felt a sudden tightness in his chest and his stomach appeared to be performing some sort of acrobatics without his consent. He wrenched his gaze away from Dean’s face. This was it. Castiel didn’t know what Dean wanted to say, but he feared the worst. Dean was going to blame him for trapping him with the bond. He rushed to speak, to beg, to do something to keep his human. “I know that this isn’t what you wanted. I will leave the castle if that is your wish.” Castiel kept his head lowered and didn’t see the shocked horror in Dean’s eyes.
He did, however, hear the pained gasp that accompanied it.
And then, Dean growled and grabbed Castiel’s hand, pressing it to the matching handprint on his shoulder. The angel’s head jerked up as the grief he had caused Dean flowed into him through the bond along with a myriad of other emotions. A lifetime of feelings-from the awe that Dean had felt the first time he had held Adam to the satisfaction he felt every time he hunted down one of the soulless creatures that prowled the night-poured into Castiel. Through the haze of memories and sensations, the angel vaguely felt Dean pull him into his arms, but then he was swept away once more as the purest, most cherished emotion filled him.
Dean’s love. He felt as though he might burst as it reached every single part of him. In that moment he knew what he had been unsure of before. Dean loved him. Dean wanted this bond because it assured him that they would always be together. This wasn’t something that even death could take from them. Their souls were one now, so entangled with one another that it would be impossible for them to be separated. And Dean was happy.
This realization caused Castiel’s body to seize up with pleasure and he felt Dean’s arms tighten around him as they both tumbled over the edge into oblivion.
Chapter Ten Part One | Masterpost | Chapter Eleven
...................................................................................................
DEPENDING ON THE RATIO OF REVIEWERS TO VISITORS, I MAY HAVE LISA STEAL DEAN AWAY IN THE MIDDLE OF THE WEDDING. IF YOU DON’T WISH FOR THIS TO HAPPEN, REVIEW. YOU’VE BEEN WARNED. XP