Drama and Dilemma
So, a lot of drama lately.
My sister broke her arm last week, clean through both the radius and ulna. She's going for another x-ray this week, but at the moment is being pretty pampered. Plus she has control over the tv because she can't really run about outside. Loads of cartoons being played atm- cartoon network. She loves Inuyasha on adult swim, so do my other little brothers and sisters.
The other drama I suppose would be the one of my own making. I've known about Sam coming to Sydney for a while, at least 3 months, but it's only a month and a bit away now. And mother of all miracles, my parents are letting him stay here with me for a week. My sister is going to stay down at the main house with the rest of the family.
I suppose Mum and Dad allowed it because they assume Sam is strictly in the 'friend' zone. Most times when I talk with him, he comes on a bit emotionally heavy, and I'm usually left not knowing what to say because I seem to find a way to fuck it up, or joke and ruin what he's just said. It diffuses the emotion I suppose, but adds tension because he thinks I don't feel as seriously about this as he does.
Do I?
Not sure. How can I be? Does it really matter? I was upset when he avoided talking about what he felt for me, but when he's ready to say it, I don't want to know. He said he's so unsure about my feelings that he wants to hold back until he's sure I'll be able to say 'I love you' back.
I spend more time thinking about it than I should. I know something sexual is probably going to happen while he's here, and I'll probably be the one to initiate it, but it's making me anxious all the same.
Another factor adding to this, Sam the cyber-slut is also a virgin, and - I was shocked at this, he's so cute - has never been kissed.
He's worried I'll want someone more experienced, but I told him it didn't matter to me either way. Was that the right answer? I had expected him to be - given the military side of him - to be a little, stereo-typically cold or a closed off maybe?
He says he is, except with me. Cue smile.
My sister broke her arm last week, clean through both the radius and ulna. She's going for another x-ray this week, but at the moment is being pretty pampered. Plus she has control over the tv because she can't really run about outside. Loads of cartoons being played atm- cartoon network. She loves Inuyasha on adult swim, so do my other little brothers and sisters.
The other drama I suppose would be the one of my own making. I've known about Sam coming to Sydney for a while, at least 3 months, but it's only a month and a bit away now. And mother of all miracles, my parents are letting him stay here with me for a week. My sister is going to stay down at the main house with the rest of the family.
I suppose Mum and Dad allowed it because they assume Sam is strictly in the 'friend' zone. Most times when I talk with him, he comes on a bit emotionally heavy, and I'm usually left not knowing what to say because I seem to find a way to fuck it up, or joke and ruin what he's just said. It diffuses the emotion I suppose, but adds tension because he thinks I don't feel as seriously about this as he does.
Do I?
Not sure. How can I be? Does it really matter? I was upset when he avoided talking about what he felt for me, but when he's ready to say it, I don't want to know. He said he's so unsure about my feelings that he wants to hold back until he's sure I'll be able to say 'I love you' back.
I spend more time thinking about it than I should. I know something sexual is probably going to happen while he's here, and I'll probably be the one to initiate it, but it's making me anxious all the same.
Another factor adding to this, Sam the cyber-slut is also a virgin, and - I was shocked at this, he's so cute - has never been kissed.
He's worried I'll want someone more experienced, but I told him it didn't matter to me either way. Was that the right answer? I had expected him to be - given the military side of him - to be a little, stereo-typically cold or a closed off maybe?
He says he is, except with me. Cue smile.