(Untitled)
// Her hair was up in a messy bun as she dragged the laptop out of it's sleek silver container. She sighed heavily, her make-up now long gone, clad in her pjs and sitting Indian-style in a room she wasn't quite comfortable in yet. She looked around before deciding to vent in her journal. For heaven sakes, that is what it was there for
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You mean more to me, more to a lot of people, than you think. You always underestimate yourself, and you aren't the only one who does that, and I hate it when people do that. Because you really don't understand, you can't understand. Why would you let someone like me get to you? You're Keira fucking Knightley, you're better than that. I know you're better than me at least, and I thank god for that because let's face it, I'm weird enough for both of us. You are not a fuck up, you never have been and you never will be. For the time I've known you, all I've seen is an amazing kid, yes kid because I didn't know the first thing about you when I met you. All I remember is sitting there and having you go "OH SHIT! Your teeth!" -laughs- And that's when the ice broke and that's when I knew you were a keeper. You really do give me too much credit, Im not as great of a person as you all think. Im not a great father, Im not a great friend and all around I am not a good person. I know that and I wish the rest of you would realize it too. But you are, you're too young not to be, you have such a great career in your future. And I wish you nothing but greatness, success and happiness in all of your endeavors. Do what makes you happy, do what makes you feel right. Don't let me or anyone ever get you down. Don't let anyone tell you differently. Don't settle for less than you deserve, because if you do that, even just once, if you keep telling yourself you're a fuck up just this once, than yes that is what you will grow up to believe. And don't say it's not because it's true, just once, just one slam down like this from someone you care about can eat you alive for years. You are NOT a fuck up, I have never thought of you like that I promise you like that. You are mature beyond your years, mature beyond mind, and maybe I'm just not used to you acting your age. I always forget you're 18. I always think of you as older, around Orlando's age. Sometimes I forget I'm 40 -snickers- But honest to God, it's kind of an ego-burst for you to say such good things about me when I don't deserve them. You deserve the world, you deserve nothing less than the best, never forget that. And never forget that I'm always here for you despite what I say and what my actions read. Never forget who you are, never forget what you're capable of, and most importantly, never forget what you deserve. The people in your life are in your life for a reason, and you can't worry about people from your past because there's a reason why they aren't in your future.
So no one told you life was gonna be this way
Your job's a joke you're broke
Your love life's the old way
Feels like you're always stuck in 2nd gear
When it hasn't been your day your month your week or even your year, but...
I'll be there for you, when the rain starts to fall
I'll be there for you, because you're there for me too...
Can I? I want to. I think I will. Yes, I will! I love you Keira.
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Gah. You're going to make me cry I'm afraid. I wish I could somehow tell you how much that comment meant to me in words, but I really can't. I know you think that you're the lowest, and that you're not a great father, nor a great friend. But I love you to death. Seriously Johnny, I do. You mean the world to me, and you're such a great friend, and that is why it bothered me so much the other day. I just, can't explain to you how much YOU mean to me. Including your mistakes, or your short-comings, because you learn from them Johnny and you change. You've been a rolemodel to me for acting, and if I can have a career as sucessful as yours, well then I'll know that I made it. I can remember me Mum having the hugest crush on you, and that was back in the eighties! You've proven you're more than a teen-hearthrob and you can actually act, and you're so talented! I watch you with Lily and Jack, and my heart literally melts. Johnny, if you were such a bad father, she would not be such a happy child. She loves you to death, she knows you are the best daddy in the world. I love you SO MUCH Mr. Depp, and you're just going to have to deal with the fact that I have respect for you.
Your kind words, although they made me tear up, are appreciated beyond what my words can describe. To hear you call me mature, is like a bloody honor or something. I feel like such a wanker sometimes when I'm with you...you know so much. Thank you for being my friend, just..thank you for everything Johnny.
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You've been a rolemodel to me for acting, and if I can have a career as sucessful as yours, well then I'll know that I made it.
You succeeded that task when you were born. And you should never feel like a wanker around me. Why would you? I'm just...weird Johnny Depp. I'm weird, I admit that -laughs- You are you. Stay true to who you are, who you become, because at the end of the day, it's not me and you, it's not you and Orlando, it's just you and whomever you choose to spend your life with. That's what's going to matter in the long run, and you need to do what makes you happy, what you could be happy doing forever. Acting? Maybe. Who knows. You're young and you have many years ahead of you and I wish you the best in all of your endeavors and -laughs- Good luck with that whole cooking thing ;)
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Enough Mr. Depp. You're killing me over here. Let's not rehash the comments, we love eachother. End of discussion, eh?
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