(no subject)
i'm feeling very apprehensive and disorientated these past couple of days, i put it down to conflicting emotions. Every part of my being knows i want to go away and will not be satisfied until i do. I need to leave, for my own sanity. Then there's the things you hear and read in the papers. About degrees meaning jackshit these days and other people emphasising about the loan and how unnecessary it is. I know this is not logical, most of the people who say these things are people who are soured and jealous from their own missed oppurtunities and i don't want to become one of them. 1/3 of all uni students drop out but this is mainly due to the government pushing people into higher education when they might be better doing something else. I've thought about it a lot though and i still think this is the best decision for me personally. Even if i have nothing to show at the end it's something i want to do, preferably with something at the end of it but thats not the only reason i want to go. I need to get away from this place, everythings gone sour here and if i stay I'll go sour with it.
Yesterday i got called in to my mum's school to do a bit of TA cover. (and even with the horrible cold i had yesterday, at £8 an hour i dragged myself there). I really enjoyed it, reminded me of the playscheme i did not this summer just gone but the one before. I had some of the same students as well and it just makes you realise what kind of differences it can make, which made me feel more confident about going away as well. i mean, i already have expeience with some of the stuff i want to do, i've already decided i like doing it, it's just a question of getting that bit of paper that says i can. i mean, i could go there now as a full time TA. But i don't want to earn £8 an hour the rest of my life, and i don't want to stay doing that (or i might not want to) for the rest of my life. I envision myself travelling around the world to do it, not travelling the 5 minute walk up the hill each morning.
3 days of work left, and on sunday i'm having what i am calling my "last supper" with my family at some indian restaurant. (the last supper where i return after 3 years, instead of 3 days) some might consider this over dramatising the event, but i still think it's an appropriate name for it.
Yesterday i got called in to my mum's school to do a bit of TA cover. (and even with the horrible cold i had yesterday, at £8 an hour i dragged myself there). I really enjoyed it, reminded me of the playscheme i did not this summer just gone but the one before. I had some of the same students as well and it just makes you realise what kind of differences it can make, which made me feel more confident about going away as well. i mean, i already have expeience with some of the stuff i want to do, i've already decided i like doing it, it's just a question of getting that bit of paper that says i can. i mean, i could go there now as a full time TA. But i don't want to earn £8 an hour the rest of my life, and i don't want to stay doing that (or i might not want to) for the rest of my life. I envision myself travelling around the world to do it, not travelling the 5 minute walk up the hill each morning.
3 days of work left, and on sunday i'm having what i am calling my "last supper" with my family at some indian restaurant. (the last supper where i return after 3 years, instead of 3 days) some might consider this over dramatising the event, but i still think it's an appropriate name for it.