Routine is eating me.
Click. Click. Click.
The most common sound to hit my ears.
Musicians screaming their stories, the soft ticking of the clock completely drowned out.
The keyboard tick-tacks, I pull a breath in.
Occasionally the cat meows.
In between songs the silence falls around me like a veil.
A drape.
Then family comes home and the child in me shines.
Finally, another person to fill the empty house.
I almost immediately regret it.
Orders, complaints, stories I couldn't care less about.
Then they disappear, the only proof of their presence is the sound of the tele.
I hate that sound.
It's messy.
After hours of music, silence, music, silence, music.
The house is now full of other noises.
My music is quieter so they can hear their brain rot.
Their recycled conversations litter the air even worse.
The space heater rumbles beside me.
The pop tab I'm sucking taps my teeth.
Sounds.
I think that I'm easily annoyed.
Maybe I can only take so much repetition.
Like an animal in a cage, I can only be prodded so many times before I break out.
Act out.
Whatever.
I want to do something new.
Outrageous.
Unexpected.
Immediately.
Change my clothes.
Change my hair.
Changechangechange.
Change my attitude.
Change my lifestyle.
Only one of those things would make me a little more content.
When school is finally out, I think I'll definitely change something.
I'm always waiting for school to end.
Why can't I ever be excited for it to start?
Why do I always get myself into such pits,
to the point that it's almost impossible to climb back out,
and that I view school as hell itself?
Have I ever viewed school in a positive way?
Maybe in elementary school.
Early
elementary school.
Time to go trap myself in some more silence.
To get away from the tapping, talking, clicking and rumbling of the space around me.
Jagged sounds.
My bedroom is soft, and though the sheets will be crisp,
warm.