tough times...
Dang, idk if it's b/c i'm on my flippin period or what, but i had a break down today and i got so emotional!! i never get like the way i did today...
u can all guess why i did, and y'all will most likely be correct. it's 2 weeks til the end of school and class of 2005's graduation, and i'm really missing tim. (i can talk about him b/c i know he never checks ljs.) the closer we get to summer, the more saddened i get. i can't help it, i really fell for the guy!! now he's gonna be out of my life forever (b/c i highly doubt we'll keep in touch)!!
well during 6th period today, we were rehearsing the song for graduation ("for good"), and it reminds me so much of tim and me! i mean, he's standing on the same risors as me, and i'm having to sing this damn sad song:
I've heard it said
That people come into our lives for a reason
Bringing something we must learn
And we are led
To those who help us most to grow
If we let them
And we help them in return
Well, I don't know if I believe that's true
But I know I'm who I am today
Because I knew you:
Like a comet pulled from orbit
As it passes a sun
Like a stream that meets a boulder
Halfway through the wood
Who can say if I've been changed for the better?
But because I knew you
I have been changed for good
It well may be
That we will never meet again
In this lifetime
So let me say before we part
So much of me
Is made of what I learned from you
You'll be with me
Like a handprint on my heart
And now whatever way our stories end
I know you have re-written mine
By being my friend:
Like a ship blown from its mooring
By a wind off the sea
Like a seed dropped by a skybird
In a distant wood
Who can say if I've been changed for the better?
But because I knew you
I have been changed for good
And just to clear the air
I ask forgiveness
For the things I've done you blame me for
But then, I guess we know
There's blame to share
And none of it seems to matter anymore
ahhhhhhh!! it bites ass! i love the song, but damn!! it hits me hard! now every time i look at him, i think of the song and how much i still want him. pathetic, i know, but I CAN'T HELP IT!! gurh. i really miss him.
well i had a conversation with him after all this, explaining how i felt and that i thought i was gonna lose him forever...he told me i'd never lose him, but how is that possible?!?! i mean, he's not interested in me anymore and he's moved on to "younger" (but not neccessarily better) things than me. i really don't want him out of my life, but in a couple of weeks, i'm for sure gonna be out of his...
damn, i'm crying as usual and my heart is being torn apart again! oh, how i hate this feeling...i'm sure everone's heard that song by usher "u got it bad". if not, here's a piece:
U got, u got it bad
When you're on the phone
Hang up and you call right back
U got, u got it bad
If you miss a day without your friend
Your whole life's off track
You know you got it bad when you're stuck in the house
You don't wanna have fun
It's all you think about
U got it bad when you're out with someone
But you keep on thinkin' bout somebody else
U got it bad
yeah, well that's me right there! oh well, i'm a sucker...well i better go b/c i have dance tonight. sorry for talking so much, i had to let it out. bye everyone.
u can all guess why i did, and y'all will most likely be correct. it's 2 weeks til the end of school and class of 2005's graduation, and i'm really missing tim. (i can talk about him b/c i know he never checks ljs.) the closer we get to summer, the more saddened i get. i can't help it, i really fell for the guy!! now he's gonna be out of my life forever (b/c i highly doubt we'll keep in touch)!!
well during 6th period today, we were rehearsing the song for graduation ("for good"), and it reminds me so much of tim and me! i mean, he's standing on the same risors as me, and i'm having to sing this damn sad song:
I've heard it said
That people come into our lives for a reason
Bringing something we must learn
And we are led
To those who help us most to grow
If we let them
And we help them in return
Well, I don't know if I believe that's true
But I know I'm who I am today
Because I knew you:
Like a comet pulled from orbit
As it passes a sun
Like a stream that meets a boulder
Halfway through the wood
Who can say if I've been changed for the better?
But because I knew you
I have been changed for good
It well may be
That we will never meet again
In this lifetime
So let me say before we part
So much of me
Is made of what I learned from you
You'll be with me
Like a handprint on my heart
And now whatever way our stories end
I know you have re-written mine
By being my friend:
Like a ship blown from its mooring
By a wind off the sea
Like a seed dropped by a skybird
In a distant wood
Who can say if I've been changed for the better?
But because I knew you
I have been changed for good
And just to clear the air
I ask forgiveness
For the things I've done you blame me for
But then, I guess we know
There's blame to share
And none of it seems to matter anymore
ahhhhhhh!! it bites ass! i love the song, but damn!! it hits me hard! now every time i look at him, i think of the song and how much i still want him. pathetic, i know, but I CAN'T HELP IT!! gurh. i really miss him.
well i had a conversation with him after all this, explaining how i felt and that i thought i was gonna lose him forever...he told me i'd never lose him, but how is that possible?!?! i mean, he's not interested in me anymore and he's moved on to "younger" (but not neccessarily better) things than me. i really don't want him out of my life, but in a couple of weeks, i'm for sure gonna be out of his...
damn, i'm crying as usual and my heart is being torn apart again! oh, how i hate this feeling...i'm sure everone's heard that song by usher "u got it bad". if not, here's a piece:
U got, u got it bad
When you're on the phone
Hang up and you call right back
U got, u got it bad
If you miss a day without your friend
Your whole life's off track
You know you got it bad when you're stuck in the house
You don't wanna have fun
It's all you think about
U got it bad when you're out with someone
But you keep on thinkin' bout somebody else
U got it bad
yeah, well that's me right there! oh well, i'm a sucker...well i better go b/c i have dance tonight. sorry for talking so much, i had to let it out. bye everyone.