FIC: In His Deceit - 6/8
Title: In His Deceit
Author: Miss 'Drea
Artist: pixymisa
Rating: NC-17
Pairing: Dean/OFC, Dean/Sam, brief Sam/Trickster
Beta: selecasharp and blackcathollow
Word Count: 22100/20000
Warnings: Genderbending, angst, some show-level amount of gore
Summary: When the perfect woman shows up during Dean's latest hunt, he spends more time trying to catch her attention than he does solving the hunt. She hunts with him even though she has no idea what she's doing and he's all over that; he likes teaching. Everything is perfect. Except for when it isn't. She vanishes without a trace and then Dad goes missing right after. Dean thinks they're linked. (He has no idea.)
Disclaimer: Not mine, not even a little bit. Title is from the Rune's poem.
Notes: Special thanks to selecasharp for coming up with my title, and for the beta and everything else. And to pixymisa, without whom I would have scrapped the story and dropped out of the entire bigbang out of writer's block frustration. Thanks, hon. <3 Mostly though, thank you for the dance.
| Prologue | 1 | Interlude I | 2 | Interlude II | 3 | Interlude III | Epilogue |
| Notes & Soundtrack | Art Post (coming soon!)|
| 3 |
THEN
Jacqui wakes up first as she always does, and Dean's arm is warm and heavy over her waist. She presses a kiss to his wrist and slips out from underneath him. It isn't easy to do, but she manages to get into the shower before he wakes up. The space between her legs is sore, still throbbing a little when she touches it gently with two fingers. There's dried blood on one thigh, and she winces, hoping it didn't get everywhere.
Being a girl is much harder than it looks, and Jacqui spends an inordinate amount of time touching the faint bruises that mar her skin. Dean's left fingerprints on her hips and thighs, and she brushes her fingers over each of them, trying to fit her much smaller fingers into their spaces. There's beard burn on her breasts, and when she runs soap over them, they sting deliciously.
She's just rinsing out her hair when Dean knocks on the door. "You okay in there?" he asks just loudly enough to be heard over the water.
Jacqui turns the water off, steps into her towel, and answers him with, "Just cleaning up."
The floor squeaks when Dean paces over it, and Jacqui spends the entire time brushing her hair as he angsts behind the door. She can practically hear his inner torment, and when she opens the door in just the towel, Dean's eyes sweep over her carefully. The looks aren't sexual; he's making sure he didn't hurt her, and she knows it. "I'm fine," she tells him gently, and unwinds the towel, utterly un-self-conscious. He's seen it all before, and she's feels pretty enough that she feels comfortable in her own skin. "See?"
Dean swallows hard and nods. "You sure?"
Rolling her eyes, Jacqui wraps back up in the towel and steps into a clean pair of underwear and slings on a bra before dropping the cover again. She starts hunting through her bag and as she's pulling out jeans and a tank top, she says, "I can't have been the first virgin you've ever slept with."
He rubs the back of his neck uncomfortably and finally says, "Well... no. But you are the first virgin I've slept with who was still there in the morning."
*
Her eyebrows jump up and she turns to look at him, half in her jeans, half out. "Seriously?" Dean nods. "What bitches," she comments and finishes tugging on her clothes. "Do you need the shower?"
"Yeah, in a minute..." Dean answers, turning for his own duffel.
"Oh good, give me a second to use the bathroom and brush my teeth and then it's all yours." She rushes into the tiny room and closes the door. Dean looks down at her open duffel and picks up the wallet she'd dropped on her way to the bathroom.
He doesn't mean to open it, he really doesn't. He just means to put it on top of her bag and leave it there while he gets out clean clothes. But when he drops it on the sweater that's half out of the purple duffel bag, it lands on its crease and falls open. It wouldn't be a big deal, but Dean knows that license picture.
It brings to mind that Jacqui had known who Bobby was before he'd told her Bobby's name. It doesn't explain anything, but there has to be a reason she has Sam's wallet in her bag.
Dean means to bring it up when she gets out of the shower, but his bladder protests waiting even a minute longer and he ends up showering first, then when he gets out she has breakfast waiting for him and a new hunt to track down.
The wallet is conspicuously missing from where he'd dropped it, and by the time he remembers even seeing the thing it's been two days, and it becomes just one of those things that he doesn't talk about.
Maybe Sam sent her to him. Maybe Sam is behind the whole thing. Somehow, it makes him feel better about everything.
*
Jacqui gets tired of Dean treating her like glass about a week into the behavior. They stop for the night in the middle of nowhere, just like usual, and Dean holds the door for he and offers her first shower even though it was practically a hundred degrees in the car and the air conditioner is busted, so he must be just as sticky and uncomfortable as she is.
She takes the first shower though, and as she scrubs herself down and gives herself the quickest shave she can - because girls are right and smooth legs feel awesome - Jacqui comes up with yet another seduction plan. It's fun to seduce Dean, mostly because it's easy, but sometimes she wants to be the one getting seduced. She stashes the pajama pants and t-shirt she brought into the bathroom with her, making a mental note to get them later. She can sacrifice them for a night in order to implement her plan.
Jacqui rubs a towel over her hair, soaking as much of the water as she can. She debates braiding her hair to avoid the snarling tangles after the night, but Dean seems to like it when her hair is loose. She wraps a towel around her chest and it's just this side of too small, leaving a long streak of skin showing up her leg, the shadow of her hip, and just under her rib cage.
She opens the door and walks towards her duffel and the clothes there, trying not to rush, trying not to feel self-conscious as she feels Dean's eyes settle on her. He's seen her naked before, she reasons to herself, and lets the towel fall as she bends over to pick up a pair of underwear.
When Dean's warm hands slide up her cool skin, painting up her sides with burning intent, she has to hide her smile. He cups her breasts in both hands as she straightens up against his front, and she cranes her neck to one side to look at him. "Thought you wanted a shower?" she murmurs, and he grins.
"Later," he murmurs back, and turns her to face him, pressing new bruises into her hips with the force of his grip. She's never kissed someone who is fully clothed while she's naked before. Dean's belt buckle digs low into the soft flesh of her belly, spreading chills up and down her skin.
Dean kisses her like he owns her, and she slides her hands up the inside of his shirt, tracing over muscle and sinew and scar. Jacqui shudders when he lifts her up, and the belt buckle presses intimately against her. "Does this mean you're finished ignoring me now?"
He smiles when he kisses her next and doesn't respond. She takes it as a yes, and if she's wrong in the morning, she'll just have to resort to harsher measures. He lets her divest him of his shirt, breaking their kiss only when the shirt passes over his head. Once the shirt is in a puddle on the floor, Dean turns them and lays her gently on the bed.
He spreads her out, fending off her questing hands when she tries to grab at him. "Let me work," he says with a chuckle, and presses a sound kiss to her sternum before laying a line of wet sucking kisses down to her belly.
When she was Sam, he'd managed to get Erin Walker to fuck him in the back of Dean's beloved Impala, and he'd fumbled his way through sex with her. She hopes Sam was at least passable, because Dean's mouth is fucking fantastic.
He licks at her, spreading her open with his thumbs, and he spends a ridiculously long time tracing her and not spending any time at the places she wants him the most. When she was Sam, she was never vocal in pleasure; the quarters they lived in were too close and embarrassment too high. Now she's emitting high-pitched moans and squirming, fists clenching in the sheets or on Dean's shoulder, and finally after what seems like a hundred years of teasing she groans, "Jesus, Dean, come on!"
He laughs at her and presses a hot kiss to her clit. She's too proud to admit that the noises she's making are actually from her. Finally she just clamps a hand over her mouth, especially once he starts sucking her clit into his mouth and flicking his tongue over it rapidly.
Then he stops. She leans up on her elbows to look at him and their eyes meet over the slopes of her breasts. "I want to hear you," Dean tells her, grinning. He licks her again and she throws her head back with a groan. "Much better!"
She writhes against him, legs falling open even wider. Orgasm swamps her, and she shrieks in surprise. Dean's fingers tighten on her legs and she barely manages to not box his ears when her thighs close around his head.
Even as he soothes her down from the height of her orgasm, she's already impatient, pulling his shoulders to get him to move up her body. He hesitates to kiss her, but she doesn't care, sliding her mouth against his and tasting herself.
"Fuck," Dean growls against her lips.
She presses their hips together and uses what little leverage she has to topple him over and straddle him. Dean's cock is pressed directly against her, the head peeking out from under her pubic hair when she looks down. Dean swears again and throws an arm over his eyes, and she laughs, sliding down his body.
Jacqui's never given a blow job before, but she's watched some porn and looked it up online, and she figures it's pretty hard to give a bad blow job. "I've never done this before," she tells him, leaning in close like it's a secret. "I've never wanted to before." That's true too, but now she can't wait to get her mouth around him and find out what kind of reactions she can wring from his body.
Dean opens his mouth, maybe to tell her she doesn't have to or to swear again, but Jacqui doesn't give him time to formulate anything more than her name before she licks him from base to head, testing out the taste.
It's not as bad as she feared, a little sweet and a little salty. Even if it tasted awful, she would have kept doing it because Dean says her name in this reverent tone that Jacqui would actually murder someone to keep hearing him say. She licks him again, circling her tongue around the head. "Fuck, Jacqui, fuck!"
That's as good an incentive as any, and she licks her lips to spread some moisture around and lowers her mouth on top of him. She has to brace an arm against his hips to keep him from thrusting, and Dean isn't a small guy, so it takes some adjusting. She can't get him all the way down her throat, not yet, but she's looking forward to practicing.
Jacqui gets a pretty good rhythm down, keeping one ear out for Dean's noises, and when they start to escalate, he pulls her away himself, dragging her up close and rolling them over again. "Please tell me you're ready," Dean says against her lips, panting a little and hitching himself close to her.
In answer she opens her legs and guides him in, moaning when they're flush, hips to hips. He slides a hand between them and rubs her clit with quick little circles, causing her to moan and cry out between her teeth. When she comes, she bites Dean on the shoulder. which tumbles him over with her.
They collapse together on the bed, and Jacqui lies there catching her breath while Dean disposes of the condom she doesn't even remember him putting on. He climbs back onto the bed next to her and hands her a t shirt.
It isn't until she's put it on that she realizes it's his. He pulls her close again and wraps himself around her, kissing her lightly behind the ear. "Sleep?" he asks, his voice heavy and rough with good sex and exhaustion.
She smiles. "Thought you were going to shower?" she asks again, lightly teasing.
He buries his face in her hair. "Meh," he answers. "Later."
Jacqui's just about asleep when Dean speaks again. "You should meet my dad," he says in the darkness.
She murmurs her assent before what he says really sinks in. "Wait a second, what?"
Dean laughs and kisses her soundly. "Go to sleep, Jacks. We'll talk about it in the morning."
*
Jacqui bites her lip nervously as the large black truck pulls up to the diner where she and Dean are sitting. "Maybe this isn't such a good idea," she says hastily as soon as she sees John step out of the driver's side and heads towards the door. "Seriously, Dean, why did we think this was a good idea?"
Dean, the heartless bastard, only laughs at her. "You'll be fine," he says.
"Yeah... I really don't think I will be," Jacqui responds tightly, feeling Sam closer to the surface than ever. John walks through the door before she can say more, and Dean is on his feet in less than a second to give his father a hug. She stands hesitantly and smiles when Dean leads John towards her.
"Dad," Dean says, "this is Jacqui Greene, the woman I've been hunting with for the past few months."
Jacqui immediately holds out her hand for a handshake, but John only regards her quietly. Her smile fading slowly, she takes back her hand, as unable to read John's face as she ever was. Apparently it gets no easier when they're not related, she thinks with brief amusement. "Hi," she finally says. "It's nice to finally meet you. Dean really looks up to you, he talks about you all the time."
John glances at Dean, then back to her. "Hello, Jacqui," he rumbles. "Dean, a word please."
Jacqui sits down as soon as they're far enough away for her to not hear them speak. She's getting nervous; she can feel her heart beating in her throat, and from what she can see, Dean looks pissed. What is their father saying?
Can he somehow tell that Jacqui is Sam? She's practically vibrating in the seat when they get back. She bites her lip and asks, "Is everything okay?"
Dean gives her a smile, and it's genuine enough that she relaxes a little. "Yeah, just shop talk." He slides into the booth with her, leaving the other side open for his father. Jacqui leans into his warmth, and he puts his arm around her shoulder. "You hungry, Dad?" Dean asks.
John grunts, and Dean is starting to look apprehensive. "Um," he says quietly, "how's things? Hunt anything interesting lately?" John shakes his head and Dean sighs.
"Okay," Jacqui bursts out. "What did I do?" Both John and Dean give her identical looks of surprise. "Because you obviously dislike me, even though I've never met you before in my life, so what exactly did I do? What is wrong with me?" Blinking in surprise, John suddenly smiles. Jacqui sees the expression and scowls. "Fine. Don't tell me. I'll go wait in the goddamn car."
She starts to stand, ready to storm out, but as she passes her father, he reaches out and grabs her wrist. "Sit down, girl," he commands. Jacqui regards him steadily. "Please," he amends and she slowly sinks down beside Dean. "I've got nothing against you personally," John says. "But any girl in the business of hunting needs to prove herself."
"So what, being a bitch proved something?" She rolls her eyes. "Men."
The waitress comes and takes their orders, and as soon as she leaves John says, "Dean, go to the bathroom."
Jacqui and Dean share a look, but Dean just gets up and walks to the bathroom, the heartless bastard. She turns her gaze towards John and raises one eyebrow. "So what was so urgent that you couldn't talk to me in front of Dean?"
John smiles a little, and Jacqui feels a pang that is all Sam. "Dean isn't as strong as he looks, girl," John says quietly. "And if you break him, I will break you."
Jacqui scoffs a little. "Mr. Winchester, I hardly think that Dean is that invested in me," she begins to say, because really, Dean has only slept with her twice and while things haven't been awkward, he's definitely gone out of his way to not repeat the performance.
But John is shaking his head and she frowns. "Ms. Greene," John says, as gently as he's able, "Dean has met a lot of women out on the road as a hunter. Some he's seen once, some he's seen more than once. I'm his father, but I'm not blind - I know what he gets up to. But he's never taken one hunting before, and he's never introduced one to me before."
She's surprised but shakes her head. "I'm not that special."
John smiles again. "Maybe," he says slowly. "Dean's coming back."
Then Dean sits down beside her, throwing an arm around her shoulders again. "Okay?" he asks her, ducking his head down to say it quietly in her ear. She nods, pressing her temple to his cheekbone.
Maybe she has less to worry about than she thinks.
After they eat, they walk out to the parking lot together, and John gives her a firm but gentle hug. "Take care of him for me, Ms. Greene."
"I will," she promises him. "Thanks, Mr. Winchester."
He grins, and it takes years off his face. "Call me John."
When they get in the car Dean says, "So, not so bad?"
"Shut up."
*
Dean wakes up to a warm mouth and skilled fingers on his skin, Jacqui's tongue winding around his already awake and interested dick. "Jesus, Jacqui!" he groans when she scrapes her teeth over the head.
She takes the time to slide him as deep as she can into her throat before she chuckles, sending delicious vibrations down his spine. He tugs sharply on her hair and she pulls off him immediately, settling over him. "I've been awake for hours," she confides as she adjusts to his large girth. "I didn't want to wait anymore."
Dean surges up to kiss her, moving steadily under her. She clutches at his left hand when his right delves down between their legs to stroke her in time with his thrusts. "You can wake me up like this anytime you like," he tells her breathlessly.
Jacqui rolls her hips and whatever else he wants to say is gone, and both their heads fall back. When she comes, he kisses her, and she collapses bonelessly onto his chest with a sigh.
"What was that for?" Dean asks after a minute.
She chuckles. "I woke up," she says, tucking herself under his chin. "I wanted you."
Jacqui decides she's not going to think about that too deeply because Dean, on some level anyway, is still her brother, and this curse will end some day and Sam will be stuck with the consequences of her actions. And the consequences of her emotions.
Because she's pretty sure she's two steps away from falling in love.
*
The first time Dean tells Jacqui he loves her is an accident. He's been cut up by some slime monster in the swamp of Louisiana - who would have thought a creature consisting almost entirely of slime would have razor sharp eight-inch long claws? - and gets laid out with some sort of poison. Jacqui runs herself ragged making sure he stays hydrated even though he's throwing up everything he'd ever eaten in the last six years. She feeds him water and later on, when food won't stay down, she feeds him Gatorade to keep his strength up.
He's delirious with fever and pain and Jacqui is holding his head to coax some more liquid tylenol down his throat. He opens his fever-blurred eyes and says, "God, I love you."
Her fingers pause on his forehead and she sounds amused when she replies with, "Converting to religion in your old age, hon?" He's stuck trying to figure out how to set her straight when she adds, "Also, I'm Jacqui... not God."
Dean lifts a heavy arm to grip the back of her neck with his good hand. He tugs her down for a kiss and she submits for way too brief a time before disentangling them. "But..." Dean murmurs, half protest and all whine, "I'm bored."
"You're sick," she tells him firmly. "And in no position to do more than lie there anyway."
He smirks. "I can do that," he slurs. "I want a blow job."
Jacqui just laughs though. "Honey, you aren't even hard." She reaches down to stroke him through his pajamas and while it feels nice, she's right; he's not hard.
"Jacks..." he mumbles, turning his face into her leg. "I don't feel good."
Her lips brush over his forehead again. "I know, sweetie," she answers him. "I know."
He thinks he falls asleep then, because when he next opens his eyes, he's alone on the bed and it looks like the room is empty, even though his eyes are tired and he can barely open them. "Sam?" he calls out, panicked. "Sammy?"
"I'm right here, Dean," the voice floats out from the bathroom door, and it doesn't sound right, but nothing looks right so Dean ignores it.
"You okay?" he double-checks, because if Dean feels like ass, then who is going to make sure Sammy eats?
He hears a light laugh and wonders if he's dreaming, because Sam hasn't sounded that young in a long time. He remembers missing the thin, reedy youngness of his brother's voice. "I'm okay," Sam assures him. "Go back to sleep."
Dean feels like he should maybe protest because Sam shouldn't be giving him orders, but he's so tired. Just before he falls asleep he sees Jacqui come out of the bathroom.
Maybe it's the fever, but that shouldn't make sense.
Should it?
*
It takes another four days before the fever clears and Dean can sit up and eat something. It's just reheated broth - he likes chicken but not the beef - and he keeps it down long enough to actually try some real soup. Jacqui is a little alarmed with how much weight Dean's lost, but tries not to obsess over it where Dean can see.
Now that the world makes sense to Dean again, he's more irritable, and it takes threats of calling his father to quell his attitude with being bedridden.
She actually does call John eventually; Dean's phone is smashed, so she uses hers to call its voicemail and finds increasingly worried calls from John when he can't get through. She doesn't tell Dean when she steps out of the room during his nap, hoping he'll stay asleep long enough for her to be able to talk to John and get back inside before he notices.
"Winchester," John barks into his phone, and it's only years of living with the man that has her translating the bad attitude into worry.
"John, it's Jacqui," she says quickly. "Dean's okay." There's a telltale sigh of relief and she plows on with her carefully constructed lie. "We came up on a monster made of, if you can believe this, slime. It had claws that were poisoned - not deadly but definitely uncomfortable. It got Dean. I've been taking care of him for the last week and a half... but I didn't have your number and Dean's phone was smashed and lost in the swamp for a while." She swallows, because this is the part that's a lie and John was always good at detecting Sam's lies. "I had to go back and find the stupid thing in order to access the SIM card for your number. I'm sorry it took so long."
She's hoping that he won't ask why she didn't call Bobby, but because Bobby didn't call her or Dean, she figures that John still isn't talking to him. "Not deadly?" John asks, a careful repeat.
"No. Just really damn uncomfortable. He's sleeping now, but he ran a fever of a solid 103 for about five days, any longer and he would have had to deal with going to a hospital. He's just keeping down food today." Jacqui glances through the window and sees Dean stirring. "He's waking up, I should go."
John is quick to agree. "Good. Call me when he's on his feet."
She snorts. "He didn't want me to call you now, he still won't when he's moving around again."
John laughs quietly into the phone, and she can hear the relief in his voice. "No, I figure not. I'm glad you did though, girl. Thanks."
The phone beeps when he disconnects and she shoves the phone in her back pocket as she slips back into the room. Dean opens one eye when the door clicks closed. "Y'okay?" he asks roughly, still mostly asleep.
"Yeah," she answers, toeing off her shoes. "Still tired?" Dean's head lolls against the pillow in a nod. "Good, I'm joining you."
She curls up next to him, and smiles when he throws a listless arm around her. "Did I tell you that I loved you?" Dean asks suddenly, sounding more awake than he had previously.
Smiling in confusion, Jacqui gives him the easy out. "Uh... no?"
"Oh. Good." He gives her a kiss, this one much more coordinated than the last few he tried to give her. "Wake me in a few hours?"
"Okay." He's asleep quickly, which tells her how sick he still is. She doesn't think she'll actually sleep, but she drifts off listening to Dean's heart beating steadily in his chest.
*
Once Dean's on his feet again and some of the weight he'd lost is back under his belt - literally - he's like an overeager puppy waiting for his first walk. Jacqui's amused for the first two days of the treatment, but the last two are trying and making her wish for a hunt to fall into their laps.
Every morning when Dean is still asleep, just before she goes to get breakfast, she says to herself, "I am Sam," just to remind herself of who she is. That it's fun to play Jacqui, fun to pretend, fun to love Dean unconditionally and without consequence. But Sam is still there too, and he wants his brother.
Once the echoes stop in her head, she gets up, dresses, and finds food for her and Dean. Sometimes, between hunts, she does research, and sometimes when they're already on a hunt, she wakes Dean with a blow job. She's gotten pretty good at them, and he seems to enjoy the treatment.
She dreams, sometimes of Loki, and it's been long enough - a year, almost two - that she doesn't hate him anymore.
Of course, that's easily changed, especially when he shows up at the diner they're in at the two-year anniversary. Then, she could kill him.
Slowly. Possibly with a spoon.
She doesn't see him immediately, but when he makes the beeline for their booth she swears out loud because oh fuck. Dean definitely recognizes him as the guy she was sitting with before they met, but doesn't understand her reaction to him. "Who's that guy?" he asks, as Loki is walking towards them. "I remember him. Sort of."
"That's... he's an old friend," she says lamely. "He's an asshole."
Loki gets to their table just in time to hear her say it, and he affects a wounded expression, pressing his palms to his heart in an over-dramatic pose. "Jacqui, baby, you're so heartless!"
Dean immediately scowls at the endearment and Jacqui sighs. "Dean, this is..." And she has two seconds to think of a name for him because Loki is obvious and she hasn't prepared for this. "...David. He's an old friend of mine, from before." Loki smiles and offers Dean a hand for him to shake. "David, this is Dean... my..." She's going to say friend, she really is, but Dean interrupts her to say:
"Boyfriend. I'm her boyfriend."
She glances at him because they have definitely not had that conversation yet, but maybe now they don't have to. "Whoa," Loki says, holding his hands up in surrender. "I wasn't anything like that before you. Chill." Jacqui is scowling at him and he grins at her. "I just happened to see you and wanted to say hi. Where's your car?"
"It's at a friend's," she answers him, because it's none of his business, which she thinks very loudly in his general mind-reading direction. His grin widens and she knows he heard her. "How are you?"
"Oh, I'm grand. Very entertained." He winks at her and she gets the message. "I'll see you around, kiddo."
Her eyes narrow. "See you around, Short Time." It's a deliberate dig.
Loki laughs when he leaves and Dean turns to her. "I don't like him," he says pointedly.
It's her turn to laugh. "Sometimes, boyfriend, neither do I." He gives her a kiss at the name and Jacqui decides she really likes having a boyfriend.
*
On the morning Dean wakes up early, he gets two distinct revelations. One: he hates waking up early. Two: Jacqui is lying to him.
She's standing in the room - which might have been what woke him up, because he's gotten used to having her in the bed with him - and she isn't looking at him. She's looking out the window, at the parking lot or the Denny's across the road from the chintzy little place they're staying, and says suddenly and very, very softly, "I am Sam."
It sounds like a reminder, like something she's saying to keep herself from forgetting a small detail. She usually writes things like that down on her arm, but maybe she can't. But it suddenly makes everything fall into place. The wallet with Sam's license in it, and the way she answered to Sam's name when Dean was sick. Little things, like knowing how Dean likes extra onions on his cheeseburgers, and that he usually orders the specials just to see how they taste even if they aren't normal.
Or how she knew Bobby's name before Dean had told her, and her apprehension when meeting his father.
Suddenly it's all clear, and Dean feels a bolt of what feels like betrayal deep in his chest, under his heart, making his lungs hurt when he breathes in. It feels like the day Sam left all over again.
"Sam?" he calls over sleepily, a test.
"Dean," Jacqui responds, jumping and turning quickly. "It's Jacqui."
There's barely a pause there, one that if he hadn't been looking for it, he'd never have noticed it at all. He can barely stand to touch her - him - for a few days, and she's starting to look nervous, starting to look hurt, like she has any fucking right to look that way.
He sneaks off one night after Jacqui - Sam - falls asleep and calls Bobby. It's late, even by his standards, but Bobby answers in one ring. "Dean," he says, "everything okay?"
His voice almost breaks and he has to swallow around the lump in his throat. "Bobby..." he says slowly. "What can you tell me about curses?"
"Curses?" Bobby repeats. "Okay uh, well, what kind of curse? Have you been cursed, you idjit?"
"N-No. Look, just can you tell me about curses?" Dean glances at the window at Jacqui - Sam! - to make sure she's still asleep. Bobby sighs heavily and Dean swallows hard. "Can... are there some curses that mean you can't... talk about them?" he asks.
Bobby is silent for a long moment. "Sometimes. Depends on the curse."
"But those kind of curses do exist? The kind where once you're cursed, you can't talk about it to other people?" Dean asks again.
"Yes," Bobby answers him. "There isn't much lore on curses but yes. Now tell me why you keep asking me these questions."
Dean closes his eyes, blocking out the image of Sam sleeping in Jacqui's body. "She's Sam," he murmurs, voice breaking. "Jacqui. She's Sam."
Bobby's silent for long enough that Dean has to check to make sure his phone hasn't lost the call. "How do you know?"
"She answers to Sam's name... sometimes... when I was sick. I remember that. And... she had Sam's wallet in her bag. I thought... I don't know what I thought." Another thought strikes him. "And there was this guy a few months ago. She said he was a friend, but he was a total asshole, Bobby, and he was there the day I met Jacqui too. He's gotta have something to do with it. He could've put the curse on Sam, right? And a few days ago... in the morning... she woke up early and said 'I am Sam' but not to me. She said it to herself, like it was a reminder." Dean licks his lips. "Bobby. Jacqui is Sam."
"I believe you, son. Look, I'll call you in a few days, get you to come up here. We'll figure this out." There's a pause and then he says, "Look... Don't say anything to Sam about this, not yet. Make it through it first. He's still Sam, and he's still Jacqui. She sought you out." He disconnects and Dean goes back into the room.
Sam is sleeping, peaceful, and Dean can't bear to wake him.
Her. Right now, he has to keep thinking of her as Jacqui or he'll go nuts trying not to say anything.
She's still Dean's brother, underneath that skin.
*
He forces himself awake every morning to listen to her ritual. "I am Sam," she says, with a broken intensity that wavers around the edges of the words. She only says it when she thinks no one can hear. Maybe that's the only time she can.
Even though she doesn't understand why he's mad at her, she doesn't pry, doesn't try to get him to talk about it. She brings him breakfast and orders extra onions on his bacon cheeseburgers - something Sam would never have done - and picks off the tomatoes on her own food so he can eat them.
She's the perfect girlfriend.
He's so busy being mad at her, mad at him, that he surprises himself again. "I love you," he says when he sits down at the diner and his food is already ordered and waiting for him.
Jacqui actually startles badly enough she spills the salt all over the table, and she stares at him, frozen. "You... what?"
Dean can't help but laugh, because now that he's listening for it, he can hear Sam inside Jacqui's voice. "You gonna make me say it again?"
She draws back to look at him fully, her eyes narrowed a little in thought. "No," she says, very carefully, and very Sam. "But I thought you were mad at me."
"Nope," he says, pleased and hungry and ready to wait. "Just had to work through some stuff." He takes a bite from his bacon cheeseburger with extra onions, and Jacqui doesn't complain once.
Not even when he kisses her afterwards.
*
She surprises him in the shower that night, which derails his plans for seducing her while she's in a towel. She's learned to move quietly, because she manages to slide in behind him before he notices her and by then her hands are already on him.
Jacqui runs her hands up over his slick chest, brushing over his flat nipples and hooking around his shoulders to turn him to face her. She's as naked as he is, expression mischievous, and her mouth is hot and wanting when he kisses her. He drags her closer, pressing her hips into his burgeoning erection, and he moans when she shimmies her body against his.
They kiss under the spray of water until Jacqui gets irritated with the angle shooting water into her face and pulls back to press Dean against the wall. He goes willingly, grinning until she drops to her knees in front of him. He bites his lip and she bites his thigh.
"What was that for?" he asks indignantly.
"Being distracting," she says, grinning even as she chastises him. He opens his mouth to retort, but she kisses the head of his cock to stop him. She sucks at him lightly, pushing her wet hair away from her face to give her more room to work.
Once he's fully hard in her mouth, she slides down to press her nose against his skin, swallowing a few times to get used to his length and girth. "Fuck!" he swears, and if she could smile, she would.
She bobs her head up and down a few times, but with another strangled swear Dean tugs her away from him, wrapping his fist in her hair to drag her up for a kiss. As he does his best to lick his taste from her mouth with his tongue, he spins them and presses her against the wall instead.
"You trust me?" he asks roughly against her ear, and she nods. "Hold on to the shower head," he instructs her, and when she does, he lifts her up until her hips are level with his face and he hooks her legs over his shoulders.
He'd told her once there was nothing more he loved doing in bed - or in the shower, in this case - than going down on a woman. Jacqui is pretty fond of it too. She's already wet between her legs, and Dean's filthy chuckle is muffled by the skin of her thigh. With some careful maneuvering, Dean spreads her open with his thumbs and presses a kiss to the center of her.
"Dean," she gasps when he slides his tongue inside her and she digs her fingers into his hair. "Dean, I want you to fuck me."
He lowers her with one arm and turns off the water with the other. They tumble to the bed still damp and smelling of Jacqui's shampoo, and Dean presses into her carefully. Jacqui arches her back just so, and Dean ducks his head down to pull her nipple into his mouth.
Moaning, Jacqui knows that she's not going to last long, and she pulls Dean up to kiss his mouth, his chin, his neck. She reaches his ear and whispers between pants, "I love you too."
Dean's eyes are wide and very surprised when he orgasms, and she follows soon after. It's the first night he doesn't let her get up to clean them up. He cleans her instead with slow careful movements and kisses her until she falls asleep.
It's the first night she doesn't wish a little bit to wake up and be Sam again. Because when she's Sam again - and it is a when, not an if - she won't have this anymore.
And she would die to protect it.
*
Dean's still sleeping when she gets up, like usual. She stands at the table where Dean's favorite gun is, where her laptop is, and where she usually goes through her morning ritual. The words are on the tip of her tongue, but instead she picks up the papers that Dean had handed to her before bed.
I got tested, Dean had said. I'm in it for the long haul. Jacqui pulls out her pen and writes on the inside of her arm, Go get BC.
The words she usually says are floating just behind her lips, but instead she climbs back into bed beside Dean and decides to sleep for a few more hours. He mumbles when she pulls his arm back around her side and she smiles, pressing a kiss to his wrist. "S'okay?" he asks, mostly still sleeping.
"I'm okay," she answers. "I'm just Jacqui."
*
Bobby calls them at five o'clock in the morning, which is early even for him. Dean is content to just let the phone ring until voicemail picks it up, but when it rings a second time, it's Jacqui who gets out of bed and stumbles across the room to answer it, even though it's Dean's phone. "Hello?" she mumbles, eyes still shut.
"What the hell are you two doing still asleep at this hour?" Bobby demands immediately.
She opens one eye to look at the clock. "Bobby, it's five in the morning," she complains. "Normal people sleep now."
He snorts loudly enough that Dean can hear him through the phone. "Idjits. I got a case and I need your help."
"You need our help?" she asks incredulously. "Seriously? What the hell is so dire that you need us to come up there?"
"Vampires."
She blinks and laughs. "Is it April first or something?" Bobby is silent and she says after a moment of hesitation, "I thought vampires were... I don't know, a myth? Extinct?"
"Yeah," Bobby responds. "So did I. But I got a nest and I need the best."
Jacqui laughs shortly but there's nothing humorous in it. That, more than anything else, gets Dean to sit up in bed and look at her with concern. "I'm hardly the best," she says to Bobby, making a 'later' gesture at Dean.
Bobby's response makes her smile. "You're a damn sight better than some of the baby hunters they've got running around these days, girl." He clears his throat. "You comin' or what?"
Making some quick calculations in her head, she says, "If we leave in an hour, we can be there by midnight."
"Sounds good." Bobby hangs up on her, and she makes a face at the cell phone before putting it back down on the table.
"What's going on?" Dean asks her.
She laughs again. "Vampires."
Halfway out of bed, Dean pauses, one foot on the floor and one in midair. He nearly over-balances, causing her to laugh again. "I'm sorry, I just hallucinated for a second there," Dean says after a second. "What's going on?"
She gives him a light kiss on the cheek as she walks by him. "Vampires. Hurry up and get your stuff, we have to go."
Dean waits until they're safe in the car to ask why she'd told Bobby she wasn't the best. She looks surprised for all of a second before saying, "I'm not, though... I mean, think about it. As a general rule, women just aren't as physically strong as men. I can shoot a gun fine, but if I miss, or if there's more than one, I'm screwed." She's laying on Sam's lecture tones thick, and Dean has to hide a smile by turning to look out at the road.
"That can be learned, though," he says. "And you're quick, a lot quicker than I am."
She pats him on the arm. "You're sweet, but you're also lying."
He laughs, and links their fingers together. "You really are faster at ducking."
Jacqui unhooks her seat belt and slides across the bench seat to lean against his side. "I must have better self-preservation then," she says, mostly a tease. He chuckles and presses a kiss to the top of her head.
"I wouldn't want anyone else by my side," Dean swears to her, and he means it. Her, or Sam, they're it for him. It's easy to look at her and just see Jacqui, and it's easy to love her just the same.
He wonders if it'll be just as easy to love him the same way as Sam.
No spell lasts forever.
*
They make it to Bobby's by 10:30 because Dean speeds, and Jacqui casually teases him about it as they head up the steps to Bobby's house. It's dark and quiet and smells like home, and Jacqui is always glad to be there.
The door opens before Dean knocks and Bobby is offering them two beers before they've even put their stuff down. They go through the ritual, holy water in the beer, silver knives against the pale skin of their forearms, and Jacqui scoops up some salt to throw at Dean in a fit of amusement. Bobby hides his smile behind his beer as Dean swears and brushes at his clothes.
"Jacqui, I've got some research," Bobby begins to say, but Dean groans so loudly he ends up cutting Bobby off. Dean wilts under Bobby's glare, and Bobby continues to say, "- research for you to do, but if you want to sleep first, we can meet up in the library first thing in the morning."
Glancing at the clock, and remembering exactly what 'first thing' meant to Bobby, Jacqui says, "I slept in the car, we can research now."
Dean groans again. "Fine, you two get your nerd on. I've been driving all day, I'll see you at normal o'clock in the morning." He shoots Bobby a dirty look and drags Jacqui in for a kiss. Blushing wildly because she didn't think they were going to be that open in front of Bobby, Jacqui pushes Dean in the direction of the stairs.
"Off with you," she says, laughing. "I'll be up later."
She turns to Bobby, who leads her into the library and hands her a book. "Everything we know right now is in there." She curls up in the armchair, tucking her feet under her to get comfortable, and starts reading. Occasionally she takes notes in her notebook, and finally after about an hour of mostly comfortable silence, Bobby says, "Sam?"
And Jacqui looks up at him. "What?"
*
Bobby lets her figure out that she gave herself away on her own. Her face goes through a myriad of expressions, starting with horror, then fear, then feigned annoyance. She rolls her eyes and says, "Seriously, am I that much like his brother that people keep calling me that?"
"You're a good actor, I'll give you that," Bobby says. "And if you really are Sam, I'm not sure what game you're playing."
She's visibly struggling with herself, but she manages to say, "Not a game."
He sighs and shakes his head, pulling out a bottle of whiskey. "So what, Sam? What do you have to gain from doing this to your brother? Do you really hate him that much?"
"No!" Her answer is forceful and surprises him into splashing the liquor onto the table instead of into the glass. "I don't hate him," she says carefully. "I love him."
Bobby gestures with the bottle. "Then why all this?" The muscles in her jaw work for a second as she tries to open her mouth. He can see from his desk that her eyes are wet with unshed tears, but she eventually shakes her head. Bobby thinks about it for a minute before he nods. He understands now. Dean was right. "You can't talk about this?"
"No," she answers easily enough, losing the battle with tears. They carve silent paths down her cheeks, and Bobby thinks of his next question carefully.
"Is it a curse?" he asks, and she looks up at him sharply.
"No. Yes. No." She shrugs finally and looks back down at her lap.
"A spell?"
It's the right guess, because she smiles a little and says, "Yes."
Bobby sighs and drains his glass in one swallow. "You're really Sam?" She doesn't answer him, just blinks twice, causing more tears to cascade down her cheeks. She's smiling at him sadly, and finally nods once. "And Dean doesn't know?" She shakes her head. "That's the point?" Her wet snort is all the answer he needs. "Ah, Sam, I'm sorry."
She scrubs at her face and wipe away the excess tears. "Are you going to tell him?" she asks, her voice cracked and broken around the edges.
"No," Bobby says decisively. He doesn't need to. "Does the spell have an ending period?" She lifts one shoulder in answer. "Do you know what did it? And why?"
Her head jerks in a half nod and she opens her mouth, but instead of answering she winces, squeezing her eyes shut as if in pain. "Can't," she manages.
Bobby tries a different question. "How long has it been?"
"Four years," she says softly, and closes the book on her lap. "Sorry."
They don't hug much as friends and family go, but before she can leave the room, he catches her arm for a quick but tight embrace. "Call me," he says. "When - if - this ends."
"I will. Research tomorrow at not-stupid o'clock?" It's like the previous conversation never happened, except for her wet cheeks and red eyes.
"Yeah, yeah..." Bobby says, rolling his eyes. "Idjit."
Jacqui - not Sam, at least not right now - smiles. "Good night, Bobby."
"G'night... Sam."
*
Jacqui tracks the vampires using old maps of the area as Bobby sharpens the machetes and Dean stands around drinking beer and making crack comments. They pile into Bobby's truck with another hunter that Jacqui's never met before, Rufus, leaving both her Pontiac and the Impala behind.
She introduces herself as Jacqui and just as she's about to say "Greene", Dean interrupts her with "Winchester," and she's quietly shocked into nonverbal communication until they get to the lair.
There aren't as many as Bobby had estimated, and the only things that go wrong are that Rufus gets bitten - which in his words "hurts like a sonofabitch" but is not going to turn him into anything - and Jacqui's shoulder gets dislocated when one of the vampires nearly drops her over the edge of the loft.
Dean's decided all barns are evil and should be torched, so he takes perverse pleasure in lighting the fire that takes all the corpses with it.
At Bobby's, Dean sets her shoulder and feeds her pain meds and holds her in the shower as she shakes out her terror at nearly dying. Neither of them are up for sex and Dean dresses her and tucks her in, and finally lies down beside her. "Dean?" she asks once the lights are out and he's breathing evenly, relaxed.
"Yeah?" he says, turning to face her.
"I love you."
He grins, teeth flashing in the dark, and kisses her as a response. They're both no good at words, but she thought maybe it needed to be said again.
It's been true for a long time anyway.
*
When Jacqui wakes up, it's still the middle of the night, the dull green numbers of Bobby's digital clock shining 3:30 am in the darkness. Though they were both wrung out when they climbed into bed together, Dean is hard against the small of her back. He's also snoring against her hair, which is probably what woke her up.
She rubs her ass against Dean's groin and he rolls onto his back with a grunt. Jacqui pushes the covers off and frees his erection from his boxer shorts. He grunts again but doesn't wake. She trails cool fingertips from his collarbone down to his hip; it usually tickles him badly enough that he flails around when he's awake, but there's barely a twitch now.
Jacqui palms his cock and he wakes up with a gasp. She grins, pressing one finger to her lips. "Have to be quiet," she whispers, leaning down and licking the head of his erection. "Otherwise we'll wake up Bobby."
Dean scowls down at her and opens his mouth to say something, but she slides her mouth down his erection and he instead claps a hand over his mouth. He can't hold the glare though, and she chuckles as she slides off. "You're a bitch," he groans.
"You love me anyway," she says lightly, and has to muffle her shriek when he rolls them over and pulls off her pajama shorts.
He grins at her from between her legs. "Sure do," he answers, and spreads her open with his tongue. She buries her head in a pillow to keep from making noise, which is almost impossible not to do when Dean's doing this.
"Fuck," she moans, and pulls Dean up close to her as she opens her legs wider to accommodate him. "Just come fuck me already," Jacqui groans, and he laughs.
Pressing her leg up to her chest to make more room, Dean complies. He takes his time, moving inside her slowly, just to hear her moan. She wraps her free leg around his waist to bring him closer, and he leans down for a kiss.
She's not sure how long they're intertwined, Dean thrusting steadily in and out of her, but it ends too soon for her. She tries to hold off her orgasm for as long as possible, but eventually Jacqui digs her nails into Dean's shoulders and comes for an astonishingly long time, setting off his own orgasm.
Dean collapses next to her, and drags her into his arms, pressing a kiss to her shoulder. "What was that for?"
"It's your fault," she says after a deep breath. "You woke me up."
He smothers a laugh into her skin. "Of course I did." Dean pulls up the covers and tucks the sheets around them. "Go back to sleep, Jacks. I'll see you in the morning."
For some reason, she thinks he's wrong. Tucking the unease away, Jacqui's almost asleep when Dean kisses her awake again. They talk in murmuring voices, teasing and laughing, and despite her earlier disquiet she's content now, lying in the dark with Dean.
And then Dean mentions Sam.
After he falls asleep, when she's sure he can't hear, she says it again for the first time in weeks.
I am Sam.
She's awake for awhile after that, thinking about the life she never had and the person she once was but hasn't been for awhile. Finally, with the sound of Dean's breathing lulling her, she falls asleep again.
And dreams of Loki.
*
Dean rolls over to pull Jacqui closer, only to find her gone. He lies there for a moment listening to the sounds of the house, and when he can only hear Bobby whistling in the kitchen, he feels a bolt of unease in his chest. After the conversation last night with Jacqui, about Sam... Finding her gone in the morning is a lot more worrying than he thought it would be at first. He has a totally rational panic attack thinking about her sneaking out of the house, running away from him like she did when she was Sam and going to Stanford. Only Sam had left him a note, and when Dean looks around, there's nothing to see that wasn't there when he fell asleep. Besides, they're at Bobby's. Jacqui couldn't have possibly sneaked out of the house without Bobby noticing. She's probably in the library or in the kitchen with him. He has nothing to worry about. She's always up before him to make breakfast or read or do something so early that it's actually painful.
Eventually he stumbles from the bed to take a quick shower, wondering if she'll join him when she hears the taps running. When she doesn't, he sighs and decides that hanging out at Bobby's only hinders his sex life.
By the time he comes down the stairs, the sun is pretty high and they have places to be. "Hey, Bobby," he says cheerfully. "Where's Jacqui?"
Bobby doesn't answer him right away, but he glances over at the lot that holds Jacqui's car. The Pontiac is gone. "I didn't even hear her leave," Bobby says slowly. "Is everything okay between you two?"
Dean hesitates. "Everything was fine last night... I think. But uh, I brought up Sam. I didn't say 'I know you're Sam' or anything, but I said I wanted to go to California and look him up. I wanted to see..." he trails off. "How she'd react," he finishes when Bobby doesn't say anything.
.
Bobby stares at him for a second and then very calmly leans over and slaps Dean upside the head. "Idjit," he says, rolling his eyes.
Dean rubs at his head. "She might've just left really early. Maybe she got a call?" He's not convincing even himself though, and he pulls out his cell phone and presses speed dial 4, which has been Jacqui's since their first month together. The phone rings for an alarmingly long time before it goes to voicemail.
"Hey," Jacqui says, laughing into the microphone, "this is Jacqui's phone, leave me a message or I won't call you back." She laughs harder, squealing because he's tickling her and he can hear himself say, "You can't say that!" in the background before she says, "Thanks for calling!" The automated voice goes through its spiel and he hangs up.
"Nothing?" Bobby asks.
Dean shakes his head. "Guess I got my answer."
He calls her phone six more times that day, but she never answers. He calls his father - who hasn't heard from her - and all the other contacts they've made over the last four years. No one has heard anything.
Jacqui doesn't come back that night, and when Dean calls at six in the morning after not sleeping all night long, he doesn't hear her laugh at the other end of the line. Instead he hears something that makes him go numb.
The number you have reached is no longer in service.
Author: Miss 'Drea
Artist: pixymisa
Rating: NC-17
Pairing: Dean/OFC, Dean/Sam, brief Sam/Trickster
Beta: selecasharp and blackcathollow
Word Count: 22100/20000
Warnings: Genderbending, angst, some show-level amount of gore
Summary: When the perfect woman shows up during Dean's latest hunt, he spends more time trying to catch her attention than he does solving the hunt. She hunts with him even though she has no idea what she's doing and he's all over that; he likes teaching. Everything is perfect. Except for when it isn't. She vanishes without a trace and then Dad goes missing right after. Dean thinks they're linked. (He has no idea.)
Disclaimer: Not mine, not even a little bit. Title is from the Rune's poem.
Notes: Special thanks to selecasharp for coming up with my title, and for the beta and everything else. And to pixymisa, without whom I would have scrapped the story and dropped out of the entire bigbang out of writer's block frustration. Thanks, hon. <3 Mostly though, thank you for the dance.
| Prologue | 1 | Interlude I | 2 | Interlude II | 3 | Interlude III | Epilogue |
| Notes & Soundtrack | Art Post (coming soon!)|
| 3 |
THEN
Jacqui wakes up first as she always does, and Dean's arm is warm and heavy over her waist. She presses a kiss to his wrist and slips out from underneath him. It isn't easy to do, but she manages to get into the shower before he wakes up. The space between her legs is sore, still throbbing a little when she touches it gently with two fingers. There's dried blood on one thigh, and she winces, hoping it didn't get everywhere.
Being a girl is much harder than it looks, and Jacqui spends an inordinate amount of time touching the faint bruises that mar her skin. Dean's left fingerprints on her hips and thighs, and she brushes her fingers over each of them, trying to fit her much smaller fingers into their spaces. There's beard burn on her breasts, and when she runs soap over them, they sting deliciously.
She's just rinsing out her hair when Dean knocks on the door. "You okay in there?" he asks just loudly enough to be heard over the water.
Jacqui turns the water off, steps into her towel, and answers him with, "Just cleaning up."
The floor squeaks when Dean paces over it, and Jacqui spends the entire time brushing her hair as he angsts behind the door. She can practically hear his inner torment, and when she opens the door in just the towel, Dean's eyes sweep over her carefully. The looks aren't sexual; he's making sure he didn't hurt her, and she knows it. "I'm fine," she tells him gently, and unwinds the towel, utterly un-self-conscious. He's seen it all before, and she's feels pretty enough that she feels comfortable in her own skin. "See?"
Dean swallows hard and nods. "You sure?"
Rolling her eyes, Jacqui wraps back up in the towel and steps into a clean pair of underwear and slings on a bra before dropping the cover again. She starts hunting through her bag and as she's pulling out jeans and a tank top, she says, "I can't have been the first virgin you've ever slept with."
He rubs the back of his neck uncomfortably and finally says, "Well... no. But you are the first virgin I've slept with who was still there in the morning."
*
Her eyebrows jump up and she turns to look at him, half in her jeans, half out. "Seriously?" Dean nods. "What bitches," she comments and finishes tugging on her clothes. "Do you need the shower?"
"Yeah, in a minute..." Dean answers, turning for his own duffel.
"Oh good, give me a second to use the bathroom and brush my teeth and then it's all yours." She rushes into the tiny room and closes the door. Dean looks down at her open duffel and picks up the wallet she'd dropped on her way to the bathroom.
He doesn't mean to open it, he really doesn't. He just means to put it on top of her bag and leave it there while he gets out clean clothes. But when he drops it on the sweater that's half out of the purple duffel bag, it lands on its crease and falls open. It wouldn't be a big deal, but Dean knows that license picture.
It brings to mind that Jacqui had known who Bobby was before he'd told her Bobby's name. It doesn't explain anything, but there has to be a reason she has Sam's wallet in her bag.
Dean means to bring it up when she gets out of the shower, but his bladder protests waiting even a minute longer and he ends up showering first, then when he gets out she has breakfast waiting for him and a new hunt to track down.
The wallet is conspicuously missing from where he'd dropped it, and by the time he remembers even seeing the thing it's been two days, and it becomes just one of those things that he doesn't talk about.
Maybe Sam sent her to him. Maybe Sam is behind the whole thing. Somehow, it makes him feel better about everything.
*
Jacqui gets tired of Dean treating her like glass about a week into the behavior. They stop for the night in the middle of nowhere, just like usual, and Dean holds the door for he and offers her first shower even though it was practically a hundred degrees in the car and the air conditioner is busted, so he must be just as sticky and uncomfortable as she is.
She takes the first shower though, and as she scrubs herself down and gives herself the quickest shave she can - because girls are right and smooth legs feel awesome - Jacqui comes up with yet another seduction plan. It's fun to seduce Dean, mostly because it's easy, but sometimes she wants to be the one getting seduced. She stashes the pajama pants and t-shirt she brought into the bathroom with her, making a mental note to get them later. She can sacrifice them for a night in order to implement her plan.
Jacqui rubs a towel over her hair, soaking as much of the water as she can. She debates braiding her hair to avoid the snarling tangles after the night, but Dean seems to like it when her hair is loose. She wraps a towel around her chest and it's just this side of too small, leaving a long streak of skin showing up her leg, the shadow of her hip, and just under her rib cage.
She opens the door and walks towards her duffel and the clothes there, trying not to rush, trying not to feel self-conscious as she feels Dean's eyes settle on her. He's seen her naked before, she reasons to herself, and lets the towel fall as she bends over to pick up a pair of underwear.
When Dean's warm hands slide up her cool skin, painting up her sides with burning intent, she has to hide her smile. He cups her breasts in both hands as she straightens up against his front, and she cranes her neck to one side to look at him. "Thought you wanted a shower?" she murmurs, and he grins.
"Later," he murmurs back, and turns her to face him, pressing new bruises into her hips with the force of his grip. She's never kissed someone who is fully clothed while she's naked before. Dean's belt buckle digs low into the soft flesh of her belly, spreading chills up and down her skin.
Dean kisses her like he owns her, and she slides her hands up the inside of his shirt, tracing over muscle and sinew and scar. Jacqui shudders when he lifts her up, and the belt buckle presses intimately against her. "Does this mean you're finished ignoring me now?"
He smiles when he kisses her next and doesn't respond. She takes it as a yes, and if she's wrong in the morning, she'll just have to resort to harsher measures. He lets her divest him of his shirt, breaking their kiss only when the shirt passes over his head. Once the shirt is in a puddle on the floor, Dean turns them and lays her gently on the bed.
He spreads her out, fending off her questing hands when she tries to grab at him. "Let me work," he says with a chuckle, and presses a sound kiss to her sternum before laying a line of wet sucking kisses down to her belly.
When she was Sam, he'd managed to get Erin Walker to fuck him in the back of Dean's beloved Impala, and he'd fumbled his way through sex with her. She hopes Sam was at least passable, because Dean's mouth is fucking fantastic.
He licks at her, spreading her open with his thumbs, and he spends a ridiculously long time tracing her and not spending any time at the places she wants him the most. When she was Sam, she was never vocal in pleasure; the quarters they lived in were too close and embarrassment too high. Now she's emitting high-pitched moans and squirming, fists clenching in the sheets or on Dean's shoulder, and finally after what seems like a hundred years of teasing she groans, "Jesus, Dean, come on!"
He laughs at her and presses a hot kiss to her clit. She's too proud to admit that the noises she's making are actually from her. Finally she just clamps a hand over her mouth, especially once he starts sucking her clit into his mouth and flicking his tongue over it rapidly.
Then he stops. She leans up on her elbows to look at him and their eyes meet over the slopes of her breasts. "I want to hear you," Dean tells her, grinning. He licks her again and she throws her head back with a groan. "Much better!"
She writhes against him, legs falling open even wider. Orgasm swamps her, and she shrieks in surprise. Dean's fingers tighten on her legs and she barely manages to not box his ears when her thighs close around his head.
Even as he soothes her down from the height of her orgasm, she's already impatient, pulling his shoulders to get him to move up her body. He hesitates to kiss her, but she doesn't care, sliding her mouth against his and tasting herself.
"Fuck," Dean growls against her lips.
She presses their hips together and uses what little leverage she has to topple him over and straddle him. Dean's cock is pressed directly against her, the head peeking out from under her pubic hair when she looks down. Dean swears again and throws an arm over his eyes, and she laughs, sliding down his body.
Jacqui's never given a blow job before, but she's watched some porn and looked it up online, and she figures it's pretty hard to give a bad blow job. "I've never done this before," she tells him, leaning in close like it's a secret. "I've never wanted to before." That's true too, but now she can't wait to get her mouth around him and find out what kind of reactions she can wring from his body.
Dean opens his mouth, maybe to tell her she doesn't have to or to swear again, but Jacqui doesn't give him time to formulate anything more than her name before she licks him from base to head, testing out the taste.
It's not as bad as she feared, a little sweet and a little salty. Even if it tasted awful, she would have kept doing it because Dean says her name in this reverent tone that Jacqui would actually murder someone to keep hearing him say. She licks him again, circling her tongue around the head. "Fuck, Jacqui, fuck!"
That's as good an incentive as any, and she licks her lips to spread some moisture around and lowers her mouth on top of him. She has to brace an arm against his hips to keep him from thrusting, and Dean isn't a small guy, so it takes some adjusting. She can't get him all the way down her throat, not yet, but she's looking forward to practicing.
Jacqui gets a pretty good rhythm down, keeping one ear out for Dean's noises, and when they start to escalate, he pulls her away himself, dragging her up close and rolling them over again. "Please tell me you're ready," Dean says against her lips, panting a little and hitching himself close to her.
In answer she opens her legs and guides him in, moaning when they're flush, hips to hips. He slides a hand between them and rubs her clit with quick little circles, causing her to moan and cry out between her teeth. When she comes, she bites Dean on the shoulder. which tumbles him over with her.
They collapse together on the bed, and Jacqui lies there catching her breath while Dean disposes of the condom she doesn't even remember him putting on. He climbs back onto the bed next to her and hands her a t shirt.
It isn't until she's put it on that she realizes it's his. He pulls her close again and wraps himself around her, kissing her lightly behind the ear. "Sleep?" he asks, his voice heavy and rough with good sex and exhaustion.
She smiles. "Thought you were going to shower?" she asks again, lightly teasing.
He buries his face in her hair. "Meh," he answers. "Later."
Jacqui's just about asleep when Dean speaks again. "You should meet my dad," he says in the darkness.
She murmurs her assent before what he says really sinks in. "Wait a second, what?"
Dean laughs and kisses her soundly. "Go to sleep, Jacks. We'll talk about it in the morning."
*
Jacqui bites her lip nervously as the large black truck pulls up to the diner where she and Dean are sitting. "Maybe this isn't such a good idea," she says hastily as soon as she sees John step out of the driver's side and heads towards the door. "Seriously, Dean, why did we think this was a good idea?"
Dean, the heartless bastard, only laughs at her. "You'll be fine," he says.
"Yeah... I really don't think I will be," Jacqui responds tightly, feeling Sam closer to the surface than ever. John walks through the door before she can say more, and Dean is on his feet in less than a second to give his father a hug. She stands hesitantly and smiles when Dean leads John towards her.
"Dad," Dean says, "this is Jacqui Greene, the woman I've been hunting with for the past few months."
Jacqui immediately holds out her hand for a handshake, but John only regards her quietly. Her smile fading slowly, she takes back her hand, as unable to read John's face as she ever was. Apparently it gets no easier when they're not related, she thinks with brief amusement. "Hi," she finally says. "It's nice to finally meet you. Dean really looks up to you, he talks about you all the time."
John glances at Dean, then back to her. "Hello, Jacqui," he rumbles. "Dean, a word please."
Jacqui sits down as soon as they're far enough away for her to not hear them speak. She's getting nervous; she can feel her heart beating in her throat, and from what she can see, Dean looks pissed. What is their father saying?
Can he somehow tell that Jacqui is Sam? She's practically vibrating in the seat when they get back. She bites her lip and asks, "Is everything okay?"
Dean gives her a smile, and it's genuine enough that she relaxes a little. "Yeah, just shop talk." He slides into the booth with her, leaving the other side open for his father. Jacqui leans into his warmth, and he puts his arm around her shoulder. "You hungry, Dad?" Dean asks.
John grunts, and Dean is starting to look apprehensive. "Um," he says quietly, "how's things? Hunt anything interesting lately?" John shakes his head and Dean sighs.
"Okay," Jacqui bursts out. "What did I do?" Both John and Dean give her identical looks of surprise. "Because you obviously dislike me, even though I've never met you before in my life, so what exactly did I do? What is wrong with me?" Blinking in surprise, John suddenly smiles. Jacqui sees the expression and scowls. "Fine. Don't tell me. I'll go wait in the goddamn car."
She starts to stand, ready to storm out, but as she passes her father, he reaches out and grabs her wrist. "Sit down, girl," he commands. Jacqui regards him steadily. "Please," he amends and she slowly sinks down beside Dean. "I've got nothing against you personally," John says. "But any girl in the business of hunting needs to prove herself."
"So what, being a bitch proved something?" She rolls her eyes. "Men."
The waitress comes and takes their orders, and as soon as she leaves John says, "Dean, go to the bathroom."
Jacqui and Dean share a look, but Dean just gets up and walks to the bathroom, the heartless bastard. She turns her gaze towards John and raises one eyebrow. "So what was so urgent that you couldn't talk to me in front of Dean?"
John smiles a little, and Jacqui feels a pang that is all Sam. "Dean isn't as strong as he looks, girl," John says quietly. "And if you break him, I will break you."
Jacqui scoffs a little. "Mr. Winchester, I hardly think that Dean is that invested in me," she begins to say, because really, Dean has only slept with her twice and while things haven't been awkward, he's definitely gone out of his way to not repeat the performance.
But John is shaking his head and she frowns. "Ms. Greene," John says, as gently as he's able, "Dean has met a lot of women out on the road as a hunter. Some he's seen once, some he's seen more than once. I'm his father, but I'm not blind - I know what he gets up to. But he's never taken one hunting before, and he's never introduced one to me before."
She's surprised but shakes her head. "I'm not that special."
John smiles again. "Maybe," he says slowly. "Dean's coming back."
Then Dean sits down beside her, throwing an arm around her shoulders again. "Okay?" he asks her, ducking his head down to say it quietly in her ear. She nods, pressing her temple to his cheekbone.
Maybe she has less to worry about than she thinks.
After they eat, they walk out to the parking lot together, and John gives her a firm but gentle hug. "Take care of him for me, Ms. Greene."
"I will," she promises him. "Thanks, Mr. Winchester."
He grins, and it takes years off his face. "Call me John."
When they get in the car Dean says, "So, not so bad?"
"Shut up."
*
Dean wakes up to a warm mouth and skilled fingers on his skin, Jacqui's tongue winding around his already awake and interested dick. "Jesus, Jacqui!" he groans when she scrapes her teeth over the head.
She takes the time to slide him as deep as she can into her throat before she chuckles, sending delicious vibrations down his spine. He tugs sharply on her hair and she pulls off him immediately, settling over him. "I've been awake for hours," she confides as she adjusts to his large girth. "I didn't want to wait anymore."
Dean surges up to kiss her, moving steadily under her. She clutches at his left hand when his right delves down between their legs to stroke her in time with his thrusts. "You can wake me up like this anytime you like," he tells her breathlessly.
Jacqui rolls her hips and whatever else he wants to say is gone, and both their heads fall back. When she comes, he kisses her, and she collapses bonelessly onto his chest with a sigh.
"What was that for?" Dean asks after a minute.
She chuckles. "I woke up," she says, tucking herself under his chin. "I wanted you."
Jacqui decides she's not going to think about that too deeply because Dean, on some level anyway, is still her brother, and this curse will end some day and Sam will be stuck with the consequences of her actions. And the consequences of her emotions.
Because she's pretty sure she's two steps away from falling in love.
*
The first time Dean tells Jacqui he loves her is an accident. He's been cut up by some slime monster in the swamp of Louisiana - who would have thought a creature consisting almost entirely of slime would have razor sharp eight-inch long claws? - and gets laid out with some sort of poison. Jacqui runs herself ragged making sure he stays hydrated even though he's throwing up everything he'd ever eaten in the last six years. She feeds him water and later on, when food won't stay down, she feeds him Gatorade to keep his strength up.
He's delirious with fever and pain and Jacqui is holding his head to coax some more liquid tylenol down his throat. He opens his fever-blurred eyes and says, "God, I love you."
Her fingers pause on his forehead and she sounds amused when she replies with, "Converting to religion in your old age, hon?" He's stuck trying to figure out how to set her straight when she adds, "Also, I'm Jacqui... not God."
Dean lifts a heavy arm to grip the back of her neck with his good hand. He tugs her down for a kiss and she submits for way too brief a time before disentangling them. "But..." Dean murmurs, half protest and all whine, "I'm bored."
"You're sick," she tells him firmly. "And in no position to do more than lie there anyway."
He smirks. "I can do that," he slurs. "I want a blow job."
Jacqui just laughs though. "Honey, you aren't even hard." She reaches down to stroke him through his pajamas and while it feels nice, she's right; he's not hard.
"Jacks..." he mumbles, turning his face into her leg. "I don't feel good."
Her lips brush over his forehead again. "I know, sweetie," she answers him. "I know."
He thinks he falls asleep then, because when he next opens his eyes, he's alone on the bed and it looks like the room is empty, even though his eyes are tired and he can barely open them. "Sam?" he calls out, panicked. "Sammy?"
"I'm right here, Dean," the voice floats out from the bathroom door, and it doesn't sound right, but nothing looks right so Dean ignores it.
"You okay?" he double-checks, because if Dean feels like ass, then who is going to make sure Sammy eats?
He hears a light laugh and wonders if he's dreaming, because Sam hasn't sounded that young in a long time. He remembers missing the thin, reedy youngness of his brother's voice. "I'm okay," Sam assures him. "Go back to sleep."
Dean feels like he should maybe protest because Sam shouldn't be giving him orders, but he's so tired. Just before he falls asleep he sees Jacqui come out of the bathroom.
Maybe it's the fever, but that shouldn't make sense.
Should it?
*
It takes another four days before the fever clears and Dean can sit up and eat something. It's just reheated broth - he likes chicken but not the beef - and he keeps it down long enough to actually try some real soup. Jacqui is a little alarmed with how much weight Dean's lost, but tries not to obsess over it where Dean can see.
Now that the world makes sense to Dean again, he's more irritable, and it takes threats of calling his father to quell his attitude with being bedridden.
She actually does call John eventually; Dean's phone is smashed, so she uses hers to call its voicemail and finds increasingly worried calls from John when he can't get through. She doesn't tell Dean when she steps out of the room during his nap, hoping he'll stay asleep long enough for her to be able to talk to John and get back inside before he notices.
"Winchester," John barks into his phone, and it's only years of living with the man that has her translating the bad attitude into worry.
"John, it's Jacqui," she says quickly. "Dean's okay." There's a telltale sigh of relief and she plows on with her carefully constructed lie. "We came up on a monster made of, if you can believe this, slime. It had claws that were poisoned - not deadly but definitely uncomfortable. It got Dean. I've been taking care of him for the last week and a half... but I didn't have your number and Dean's phone was smashed and lost in the swamp for a while." She swallows, because this is the part that's a lie and John was always good at detecting Sam's lies. "I had to go back and find the stupid thing in order to access the SIM card for your number. I'm sorry it took so long."
She's hoping that he won't ask why she didn't call Bobby, but because Bobby didn't call her or Dean, she figures that John still isn't talking to him. "Not deadly?" John asks, a careful repeat.
"No. Just really damn uncomfortable. He's sleeping now, but he ran a fever of a solid 103 for about five days, any longer and he would have had to deal with going to a hospital. He's just keeping down food today." Jacqui glances through the window and sees Dean stirring. "He's waking up, I should go."
John is quick to agree. "Good. Call me when he's on his feet."
She snorts. "He didn't want me to call you now, he still won't when he's moving around again."
John laughs quietly into the phone, and she can hear the relief in his voice. "No, I figure not. I'm glad you did though, girl. Thanks."
The phone beeps when he disconnects and she shoves the phone in her back pocket as she slips back into the room. Dean opens one eye when the door clicks closed. "Y'okay?" he asks roughly, still mostly asleep.
"Yeah," she answers, toeing off her shoes. "Still tired?" Dean's head lolls against the pillow in a nod. "Good, I'm joining you."
She curls up next to him, and smiles when he throws a listless arm around her. "Did I tell you that I loved you?" Dean asks suddenly, sounding more awake than he had previously.
Smiling in confusion, Jacqui gives him the easy out. "Uh... no?"
"Oh. Good." He gives her a kiss, this one much more coordinated than the last few he tried to give her. "Wake me in a few hours?"
"Okay." He's asleep quickly, which tells her how sick he still is. She doesn't think she'll actually sleep, but she drifts off listening to Dean's heart beating steadily in his chest.
*
Once Dean's on his feet again and some of the weight he'd lost is back under his belt - literally - he's like an overeager puppy waiting for his first walk. Jacqui's amused for the first two days of the treatment, but the last two are trying and making her wish for a hunt to fall into their laps.
Every morning when Dean is still asleep, just before she goes to get breakfast, she says to herself, "I am Sam," just to remind herself of who she is. That it's fun to play Jacqui, fun to pretend, fun to love Dean unconditionally and without consequence. But Sam is still there too, and he wants his brother.
Once the echoes stop in her head, she gets up, dresses, and finds food for her and Dean. Sometimes, between hunts, she does research, and sometimes when they're already on a hunt, she wakes Dean with a blow job. She's gotten pretty good at them, and he seems to enjoy the treatment.
She dreams, sometimes of Loki, and it's been long enough - a year, almost two - that she doesn't hate him anymore.
Of course, that's easily changed, especially when he shows up at the diner they're in at the two-year anniversary. Then, she could kill him.
Slowly. Possibly with a spoon.
She doesn't see him immediately, but when he makes the beeline for their booth she swears out loud because oh fuck. Dean definitely recognizes him as the guy she was sitting with before they met, but doesn't understand her reaction to him. "Who's that guy?" he asks, as Loki is walking towards them. "I remember him. Sort of."
"That's... he's an old friend," she says lamely. "He's an asshole."
Loki gets to their table just in time to hear her say it, and he affects a wounded expression, pressing his palms to his heart in an over-dramatic pose. "Jacqui, baby, you're so heartless!"
Dean immediately scowls at the endearment and Jacqui sighs. "Dean, this is..." And she has two seconds to think of a name for him because Loki is obvious and she hasn't prepared for this. "...David. He's an old friend of mine, from before." Loki smiles and offers Dean a hand for him to shake. "David, this is Dean... my..." She's going to say friend, she really is, but Dean interrupts her to say:
"Boyfriend. I'm her boyfriend."
She glances at him because they have definitely not had that conversation yet, but maybe now they don't have to. "Whoa," Loki says, holding his hands up in surrender. "I wasn't anything like that before you. Chill." Jacqui is scowling at him and he grins at her. "I just happened to see you and wanted to say hi. Where's your car?"
"It's at a friend's," she answers him, because it's none of his business, which she thinks very loudly in his general mind-reading direction. His grin widens and she knows he heard her. "How are you?"
"Oh, I'm grand. Very entertained." He winks at her and she gets the message. "I'll see you around, kiddo."
Her eyes narrow. "See you around, Short Time." It's a deliberate dig.
Loki laughs when he leaves and Dean turns to her. "I don't like him," he says pointedly.
It's her turn to laugh. "Sometimes, boyfriend, neither do I." He gives her a kiss at the name and Jacqui decides she really likes having a boyfriend.
*
On the morning Dean wakes up early, he gets two distinct revelations. One: he hates waking up early. Two: Jacqui is lying to him.
She's standing in the room - which might have been what woke him up, because he's gotten used to having her in the bed with him - and she isn't looking at him. She's looking out the window, at the parking lot or the Denny's across the road from the chintzy little place they're staying, and says suddenly and very, very softly, "I am Sam."
It sounds like a reminder, like something she's saying to keep herself from forgetting a small detail. She usually writes things like that down on her arm, but maybe she can't. But it suddenly makes everything fall into place. The wallet with Sam's license in it, and the way she answered to Sam's name when Dean was sick. Little things, like knowing how Dean likes extra onions on his cheeseburgers, and that he usually orders the specials just to see how they taste even if they aren't normal.
Or how she knew Bobby's name before Dean had told her, and her apprehension when meeting his father.
Suddenly it's all clear, and Dean feels a bolt of what feels like betrayal deep in his chest, under his heart, making his lungs hurt when he breathes in. It feels like the day Sam left all over again.
"Sam?" he calls over sleepily, a test.
"Dean," Jacqui responds, jumping and turning quickly. "It's Jacqui."
There's barely a pause there, one that if he hadn't been looking for it, he'd never have noticed it at all. He can barely stand to touch her - him - for a few days, and she's starting to look nervous, starting to look hurt, like she has any fucking right to look that way.
He sneaks off one night after Jacqui - Sam - falls asleep and calls Bobby. It's late, even by his standards, but Bobby answers in one ring. "Dean," he says, "everything okay?"
His voice almost breaks and he has to swallow around the lump in his throat. "Bobby..." he says slowly. "What can you tell me about curses?"
"Curses?" Bobby repeats. "Okay uh, well, what kind of curse? Have you been cursed, you idjit?"
"N-No. Look, just can you tell me about curses?" Dean glances at the window at Jacqui - Sam! - to make sure she's still asleep. Bobby sighs heavily and Dean swallows hard. "Can... are there some curses that mean you can't... talk about them?" he asks.
Bobby is silent for a long moment. "Sometimes. Depends on the curse."
"But those kind of curses do exist? The kind where once you're cursed, you can't talk about it to other people?" Dean asks again.
"Yes," Bobby answers him. "There isn't much lore on curses but yes. Now tell me why you keep asking me these questions."
Dean closes his eyes, blocking out the image of Sam sleeping in Jacqui's body. "She's Sam," he murmurs, voice breaking. "Jacqui. She's Sam."
Bobby's silent for long enough that Dean has to check to make sure his phone hasn't lost the call. "How do you know?"
"She answers to Sam's name... sometimes... when I was sick. I remember that. And... she had Sam's wallet in her bag. I thought... I don't know what I thought." Another thought strikes him. "And there was this guy a few months ago. She said he was a friend, but he was a total asshole, Bobby, and he was there the day I met Jacqui too. He's gotta have something to do with it. He could've put the curse on Sam, right? And a few days ago... in the morning... she woke up early and said 'I am Sam' but not to me. She said it to herself, like it was a reminder." Dean licks his lips. "Bobby. Jacqui is Sam."
"I believe you, son. Look, I'll call you in a few days, get you to come up here. We'll figure this out." There's a pause and then he says, "Look... Don't say anything to Sam about this, not yet. Make it through it first. He's still Sam, and he's still Jacqui. She sought you out." He disconnects and Dean goes back into the room.
Sam is sleeping, peaceful, and Dean can't bear to wake him.
Her. Right now, he has to keep thinking of her as Jacqui or he'll go nuts trying not to say anything.
She's still Dean's brother, underneath that skin.
*
He forces himself awake every morning to listen to her ritual. "I am Sam," she says, with a broken intensity that wavers around the edges of the words. She only says it when she thinks no one can hear. Maybe that's the only time she can.
Even though she doesn't understand why he's mad at her, she doesn't pry, doesn't try to get him to talk about it. She brings him breakfast and orders extra onions on his bacon cheeseburgers - something Sam would never have done - and picks off the tomatoes on her own food so he can eat them.
She's the perfect girlfriend.
He's so busy being mad at her, mad at him, that he surprises himself again. "I love you," he says when he sits down at the diner and his food is already ordered and waiting for him.
Jacqui actually startles badly enough she spills the salt all over the table, and she stares at him, frozen. "You... what?"
Dean can't help but laugh, because now that he's listening for it, he can hear Sam inside Jacqui's voice. "You gonna make me say it again?"
She draws back to look at him fully, her eyes narrowed a little in thought. "No," she says, very carefully, and very Sam. "But I thought you were mad at me."
"Nope," he says, pleased and hungry and ready to wait. "Just had to work through some stuff." He takes a bite from his bacon cheeseburger with extra onions, and Jacqui doesn't complain once.
Not even when he kisses her afterwards.
*
She surprises him in the shower that night, which derails his plans for seducing her while she's in a towel. She's learned to move quietly, because she manages to slide in behind him before he notices her and by then her hands are already on him.
Jacqui runs her hands up over his slick chest, brushing over his flat nipples and hooking around his shoulders to turn him to face her. She's as naked as he is, expression mischievous, and her mouth is hot and wanting when he kisses her. He drags her closer, pressing her hips into his burgeoning erection, and he moans when she shimmies her body against his.
They kiss under the spray of water until Jacqui gets irritated with the angle shooting water into her face and pulls back to press Dean against the wall. He goes willingly, grinning until she drops to her knees in front of him. He bites his lip and she bites his thigh.
"What was that for?" he asks indignantly.
"Being distracting," she says, grinning even as she chastises him. He opens his mouth to retort, but she kisses the head of his cock to stop him. She sucks at him lightly, pushing her wet hair away from her face to give her more room to work.
Once he's fully hard in her mouth, she slides down to press her nose against his skin, swallowing a few times to get used to his length and girth. "Fuck!" he swears, and if she could smile, she would.
She bobs her head up and down a few times, but with another strangled swear Dean tugs her away from him, wrapping his fist in her hair to drag her up for a kiss. As he does his best to lick his taste from her mouth with his tongue, he spins them and presses her against the wall instead.
"You trust me?" he asks roughly against her ear, and she nods. "Hold on to the shower head," he instructs her, and when she does, he lifts her up until her hips are level with his face and he hooks her legs over his shoulders.
He'd told her once there was nothing more he loved doing in bed - or in the shower, in this case - than going down on a woman. Jacqui is pretty fond of it too. She's already wet between her legs, and Dean's filthy chuckle is muffled by the skin of her thigh. With some careful maneuvering, Dean spreads her open with his thumbs and presses a kiss to the center of her.
"Dean," she gasps when he slides his tongue inside her and she digs her fingers into his hair. "Dean, I want you to fuck me."
He lowers her with one arm and turns off the water with the other. They tumble to the bed still damp and smelling of Jacqui's shampoo, and Dean presses into her carefully. Jacqui arches her back just so, and Dean ducks his head down to pull her nipple into his mouth.
Moaning, Jacqui knows that she's not going to last long, and she pulls Dean up to kiss his mouth, his chin, his neck. She reaches his ear and whispers between pants, "I love you too."
Dean's eyes are wide and very surprised when he orgasms, and she follows soon after. It's the first night he doesn't let her get up to clean them up. He cleans her instead with slow careful movements and kisses her until she falls asleep.
It's the first night she doesn't wish a little bit to wake up and be Sam again. Because when she's Sam again - and it is a when, not an if - she won't have this anymore.
And she would die to protect it.
*
Dean's still sleeping when she gets up, like usual. She stands at the table where Dean's favorite gun is, where her laptop is, and where she usually goes through her morning ritual. The words are on the tip of her tongue, but instead she picks up the papers that Dean had handed to her before bed.
I got tested, Dean had said. I'm in it for the long haul. Jacqui pulls out her pen and writes on the inside of her arm, Go get BC.
The words she usually says are floating just behind her lips, but instead she climbs back into bed beside Dean and decides to sleep for a few more hours. He mumbles when she pulls his arm back around her side and she smiles, pressing a kiss to his wrist. "S'okay?" he asks, mostly still sleeping.
"I'm okay," she answers. "I'm just Jacqui."
*
Bobby calls them at five o'clock in the morning, which is early even for him. Dean is content to just let the phone ring until voicemail picks it up, but when it rings a second time, it's Jacqui who gets out of bed and stumbles across the room to answer it, even though it's Dean's phone. "Hello?" she mumbles, eyes still shut.
"What the hell are you two doing still asleep at this hour?" Bobby demands immediately.
She opens one eye to look at the clock. "Bobby, it's five in the morning," she complains. "Normal people sleep now."
He snorts loudly enough that Dean can hear him through the phone. "Idjits. I got a case and I need your help."
"You need our help?" she asks incredulously. "Seriously? What the hell is so dire that you need us to come up there?"
"Vampires."
She blinks and laughs. "Is it April first or something?" Bobby is silent and she says after a moment of hesitation, "I thought vampires were... I don't know, a myth? Extinct?"
"Yeah," Bobby responds. "So did I. But I got a nest and I need the best."
Jacqui laughs shortly but there's nothing humorous in it. That, more than anything else, gets Dean to sit up in bed and look at her with concern. "I'm hardly the best," she says to Bobby, making a 'later' gesture at Dean.
Bobby's response makes her smile. "You're a damn sight better than some of the baby hunters they've got running around these days, girl." He clears his throat. "You comin' or what?"
Making some quick calculations in her head, she says, "If we leave in an hour, we can be there by midnight."
"Sounds good." Bobby hangs up on her, and she makes a face at the cell phone before putting it back down on the table.
"What's going on?" Dean asks her.
She laughs again. "Vampires."
Halfway out of bed, Dean pauses, one foot on the floor and one in midair. He nearly over-balances, causing her to laugh again. "I'm sorry, I just hallucinated for a second there," Dean says after a second. "What's going on?"
She gives him a light kiss on the cheek as she walks by him. "Vampires. Hurry up and get your stuff, we have to go."
Dean waits until they're safe in the car to ask why she'd told Bobby she wasn't the best. She looks surprised for all of a second before saying, "I'm not, though... I mean, think about it. As a general rule, women just aren't as physically strong as men. I can shoot a gun fine, but if I miss, or if there's more than one, I'm screwed." She's laying on Sam's lecture tones thick, and Dean has to hide a smile by turning to look out at the road.
"That can be learned, though," he says. "And you're quick, a lot quicker than I am."
She pats him on the arm. "You're sweet, but you're also lying."
He laughs, and links their fingers together. "You really are faster at ducking."
Jacqui unhooks her seat belt and slides across the bench seat to lean against his side. "I must have better self-preservation then," she says, mostly a tease. He chuckles and presses a kiss to the top of her head.
"I wouldn't want anyone else by my side," Dean swears to her, and he means it. Her, or Sam, they're it for him. It's easy to look at her and just see Jacqui, and it's easy to love her just the same.
He wonders if it'll be just as easy to love him the same way as Sam.
No spell lasts forever.
*
They make it to Bobby's by 10:30 because Dean speeds, and Jacqui casually teases him about it as they head up the steps to Bobby's house. It's dark and quiet and smells like home, and Jacqui is always glad to be there.
The door opens before Dean knocks and Bobby is offering them two beers before they've even put their stuff down. They go through the ritual, holy water in the beer, silver knives against the pale skin of their forearms, and Jacqui scoops up some salt to throw at Dean in a fit of amusement. Bobby hides his smile behind his beer as Dean swears and brushes at his clothes.
"Jacqui, I've got some research," Bobby begins to say, but Dean groans so loudly he ends up cutting Bobby off. Dean wilts under Bobby's glare, and Bobby continues to say, "- research for you to do, but if you want to sleep first, we can meet up in the library first thing in the morning."
Glancing at the clock, and remembering exactly what 'first thing' meant to Bobby, Jacqui says, "I slept in the car, we can research now."
Dean groans again. "Fine, you two get your nerd on. I've been driving all day, I'll see you at normal o'clock in the morning." He shoots Bobby a dirty look and drags Jacqui in for a kiss. Blushing wildly because she didn't think they were going to be that open in front of Bobby, Jacqui pushes Dean in the direction of the stairs.
"Off with you," she says, laughing. "I'll be up later."
She turns to Bobby, who leads her into the library and hands her a book. "Everything we know right now is in there." She curls up in the armchair, tucking her feet under her to get comfortable, and starts reading. Occasionally she takes notes in her notebook, and finally after about an hour of mostly comfortable silence, Bobby says, "Sam?"
And Jacqui looks up at him. "What?"
*
Bobby lets her figure out that she gave herself away on her own. Her face goes through a myriad of expressions, starting with horror, then fear, then feigned annoyance. She rolls her eyes and says, "Seriously, am I that much like his brother that people keep calling me that?"
"You're a good actor, I'll give you that," Bobby says. "And if you really are Sam, I'm not sure what game you're playing."
She's visibly struggling with herself, but she manages to say, "Not a game."
He sighs and shakes his head, pulling out a bottle of whiskey. "So what, Sam? What do you have to gain from doing this to your brother? Do you really hate him that much?"
"No!" Her answer is forceful and surprises him into splashing the liquor onto the table instead of into the glass. "I don't hate him," she says carefully. "I love him."
Bobby gestures with the bottle. "Then why all this?" The muscles in her jaw work for a second as she tries to open her mouth. He can see from his desk that her eyes are wet with unshed tears, but she eventually shakes her head. Bobby thinks about it for a minute before he nods. He understands now. Dean was right. "You can't talk about this?"
"No," she answers easily enough, losing the battle with tears. They carve silent paths down her cheeks, and Bobby thinks of his next question carefully.
"Is it a curse?" he asks, and she looks up at him sharply.
"No. Yes. No." She shrugs finally and looks back down at her lap.
"A spell?"
It's the right guess, because she smiles a little and says, "Yes."
Bobby sighs and drains his glass in one swallow. "You're really Sam?" She doesn't answer him, just blinks twice, causing more tears to cascade down her cheeks. She's smiling at him sadly, and finally nods once. "And Dean doesn't know?" She shakes her head. "That's the point?" Her wet snort is all the answer he needs. "Ah, Sam, I'm sorry."
She scrubs at her face and wipe away the excess tears. "Are you going to tell him?" she asks, her voice cracked and broken around the edges.
"No," Bobby says decisively. He doesn't need to. "Does the spell have an ending period?" She lifts one shoulder in answer. "Do you know what did it? And why?"
Her head jerks in a half nod and she opens her mouth, but instead of answering she winces, squeezing her eyes shut as if in pain. "Can't," she manages.
Bobby tries a different question. "How long has it been?"
"Four years," she says softly, and closes the book on her lap. "Sorry."
They don't hug much as friends and family go, but before she can leave the room, he catches her arm for a quick but tight embrace. "Call me," he says. "When - if - this ends."
"I will. Research tomorrow at not-stupid o'clock?" It's like the previous conversation never happened, except for her wet cheeks and red eyes.
"Yeah, yeah..." Bobby says, rolling his eyes. "Idjit."
Jacqui - not Sam, at least not right now - smiles. "Good night, Bobby."
"G'night... Sam."
*
Jacqui tracks the vampires using old maps of the area as Bobby sharpens the machetes and Dean stands around drinking beer and making crack comments. They pile into Bobby's truck with another hunter that Jacqui's never met before, Rufus, leaving both her Pontiac and the Impala behind.
She introduces herself as Jacqui and just as she's about to say "Greene", Dean interrupts her with "Winchester," and she's quietly shocked into nonverbal communication until they get to the lair.
There aren't as many as Bobby had estimated, and the only things that go wrong are that Rufus gets bitten - which in his words "hurts like a sonofabitch" but is not going to turn him into anything - and Jacqui's shoulder gets dislocated when one of the vampires nearly drops her over the edge of the loft.
Dean's decided all barns are evil and should be torched, so he takes perverse pleasure in lighting the fire that takes all the corpses with it.
At Bobby's, Dean sets her shoulder and feeds her pain meds and holds her in the shower as she shakes out her terror at nearly dying. Neither of them are up for sex and Dean dresses her and tucks her in, and finally lies down beside her. "Dean?" she asks once the lights are out and he's breathing evenly, relaxed.
"Yeah?" he says, turning to face her.
"I love you."
He grins, teeth flashing in the dark, and kisses her as a response. They're both no good at words, but she thought maybe it needed to be said again.
It's been true for a long time anyway.
*
When Jacqui wakes up, it's still the middle of the night, the dull green numbers of Bobby's digital clock shining 3:30 am in the darkness. Though they were both wrung out when they climbed into bed together, Dean is hard against the small of her back. He's also snoring against her hair, which is probably what woke her up.
She rubs her ass against Dean's groin and he rolls onto his back with a grunt. Jacqui pushes the covers off and frees his erection from his boxer shorts. He grunts again but doesn't wake. She trails cool fingertips from his collarbone down to his hip; it usually tickles him badly enough that he flails around when he's awake, but there's barely a twitch now.
Jacqui palms his cock and he wakes up with a gasp. She grins, pressing one finger to her lips. "Have to be quiet," she whispers, leaning down and licking the head of his erection. "Otherwise we'll wake up Bobby."
Dean scowls down at her and opens his mouth to say something, but she slides her mouth down his erection and he instead claps a hand over his mouth. He can't hold the glare though, and she chuckles as she slides off. "You're a bitch," he groans.
"You love me anyway," she says lightly, and has to muffle her shriek when he rolls them over and pulls off her pajama shorts.
He grins at her from between her legs. "Sure do," he answers, and spreads her open with his tongue. She buries her head in a pillow to keep from making noise, which is almost impossible not to do when Dean's doing this.
"Fuck," she moans, and pulls Dean up close to her as she opens her legs wider to accommodate him. "Just come fuck me already," Jacqui groans, and he laughs.
Pressing her leg up to her chest to make more room, Dean complies. He takes his time, moving inside her slowly, just to hear her moan. She wraps her free leg around his waist to bring him closer, and he leans down for a kiss.
She's not sure how long they're intertwined, Dean thrusting steadily in and out of her, but it ends too soon for her. She tries to hold off her orgasm for as long as possible, but eventually Jacqui digs her nails into Dean's shoulders and comes for an astonishingly long time, setting off his own orgasm.
Dean collapses next to her, and drags her into his arms, pressing a kiss to her shoulder. "What was that for?"
"It's your fault," she says after a deep breath. "You woke me up."
He smothers a laugh into her skin. "Of course I did." Dean pulls up the covers and tucks the sheets around them. "Go back to sleep, Jacks. I'll see you in the morning."
For some reason, she thinks he's wrong. Tucking the unease away, Jacqui's almost asleep when Dean kisses her awake again. They talk in murmuring voices, teasing and laughing, and despite her earlier disquiet she's content now, lying in the dark with Dean.
And then Dean mentions Sam.
After he falls asleep, when she's sure he can't hear, she says it again for the first time in weeks.
I am Sam.
She's awake for awhile after that, thinking about the life she never had and the person she once was but hasn't been for awhile. Finally, with the sound of Dean's breathing lulling her, she falls asleep again.
And dreams of Loki.
*
Dean rolls over to pull Jacqui closer, only to find her gone. He lies there for a moment listening to the sounds of the house, and when he can only hear Bobby whistling in the kitchen, he feels a bolt of unease in his chest. After the conversation last night with Jacqui, about Sam... Finding her gone in the morning is a lot more worrying than he thought it would be at first. He has a totally rational panic attack thinking about her sneaking out of the house, running away from him like she did when she was Sam and going to Stanford. Only Sam had left him a note, and when Dean looks around, there's nothing to see that wasn't there when he fell asleep. Besides, they're at Bobby's. Jacqui couldn't have possibly sneaked out of the house without Bobby noticing. She's probably in the library or in the kitchen with him. He has nothing to worry about. She's always up before him to make breakfast or read or do something so early that it's actually painful.
Eventually he stumbles from the bed to take a quick shower, wondering if she'll join him when she hears the taps running. When she doesn't, he sighs and decides that hanging out at Bobby's only hinders his sex life.
By the time he comes down the stairs, the sun is pretty high and they have places to be. "Hey, Bobby," he says cheerfully. "Where's Jacqui?"
Bobby doesn't answer him right away, but he glances over at the lot that holds Jacqui's car. The Pontiac is gone. "I didn't even hear her leave," Bobby says slowly. "Is everything okay between you two?"
Dean hesitates. "Everything was fine last night... I think. But uh, I brought up Sam. I didn't say 'I know you're Sam' or anything, but I said I wanted to go to California and look him up. I wanted to see..." he trails off. "How she'd react," he finishes when Bobby doesn't say anything.
.
Bobby stares at him for a second and then very calmly leans over and slaps Dean upside the head. "Idjit," he says, rolling his eyes.
Dean rubs at his head. "She might've just left really early. Maybe she got a call?" He's not convincing even himself though, and he pulls out his cell phone and presses speed dial 4, which has been Jacqui's since their first month together. The phone rings for an alarmingly long time before it goes to voicemail.
"Hey," Jacqui says, laughing into the microphone, "this is Jacqui's phone, leave me a message or I won't call you back." She laughs harder, squealing because he's tickling her and he can hear himself say, "You can't say that!" in the background before she says, "Thanks for calling!" The automated voice goes through its spiel and he hangs up.
"Nothing?" Bobby asks.
Dean shakes his head. "Guess I got my answer."
He calls her phone six more times that day, but she never answers. He calls his father - who hasn't heard from her - and all the other contacts they've made over the last four years. No one has heard anything.
Jacqui doesn't come back that night, and when Dean calls at six in the morning after not sleeping all night long, he doesn't hear her laugh at the other end of the line. Instead he hears something that makes him go numb.
The number you have reached is no longer in service.