i'm back on this world...
with alot more in mind than i hoped. so i decided to come back to this live journal thing to be able to express my feelings. i hope it works out.
i am now 18 years old, and i decided to take a break from school because mentally i wasn't ready to come back, now hopefully in august this year i can. i must admit i've been through some pretty harsh things these last couple of years but i can honestly say that i'm ready to get back on my own two feet and finish this race, even if i must finish it alone. i always underestimate my ability to write and i don't know why. writing is something i love to do, lol especially about myself, but yet i still find it hard to be able to express my feeling on this thing. and even though many people may not read it, those who will, will know a little thing or two about me.
so these last couple of years i've experienced many different things, which i believe have made me a better person today. :) and i am glad to be able to witness all these things with the strength of God, who has been nothing but awesome to me.
ok, so in the love department things haven't been as good as i hoped things would turn out. i've dated around and even had a serious relationship which failed because he really didn't know what he wanted, and when he did realize what he want, i didn't want the same. then i met another guy at a trip, and i had a blast with him and he is still a big part of my life, BUT, and there is always that damn but, he, of course had a girlfriend. they always do, and if they don't, they don't want one. but anyways, so now i'm stuck in a situation that has nothing to deal with other girls, but the issue is him, he doesn't want a serious relationship, and to be honest, i think i am ready for something deeper that sexual. this guy takes me on a rollercoaster ride, and if you know me, i have motion sickness, and right now, i am throwing up. he takes me for loops and turns that make me sicker than sick, which brings me to a story i will add on later to this. (i have a feeling this entry will be longer than long lol) but this guy, he is what i want, he's funny, he's a musician, he's into sports, we share alot of dreams, such as moving to new york ;] & i see something in his eyes, someone's yet to see. and it's weird cus when we're alone, he's a totally different person...but before i go on with this love story i must explain a couple of things.
so my best friends juliet & mouriel at the beginning of 2007 stopped talking to me. and if you ask me, i think it was a growing experience for me, i've learned to not depend on others, emotionally more than physically. during these 6 months we didn't talk, i felt like i found myself, and i wasn't going to church but then i met this brandon guy in daytona (the one with the girlfriend) and he completely changed me, actually, no he didn't change me, he just helped me find who i really truly was. so during these 6 months i was able to find who i was, and i am super happy that i did, because i found who i was, i was able to get back to church and turn my life around. everyone makes mistakes, and yes i've made mistakes, but now it's time to set my foot down, and begin my new life. so in june, juliet & mouriel decided that it was time we patch ourfriendship up, we talked and figured things out. so as the months went on a little, i began hanging out with this awesome group of guys..the orbit bear guys, now i'll tell you something about them, they are awesome people, and under all these burns and crazy stuff they say, i can honestly say, these guys are my sunshine when skys are grey. so now i can finally go back to my current situation with this guy BECAUSE this guy is in this band :)
so i realized i had a crush on him one night at the velazquez house, when he faked an orgasm, lol as crazy as it sounds, its true. i didn't really make anything of it, until i saw him again at the homestead chruch. seeing him put a smile on my face, an honest smile, a smile i had to scrub off my face. i laughed at everything he said, everything he did, and maybe stuff he didn't do. so since that night i decided, this was a shot worth taking, so i began talking to him, we started talking on aim, and i found myself hanging out more with these guys, they were fun & they wanted me around. so came "hollywood ; battle of the bands" now this night was awesome. after the guys won 2nd place or whatever, we felt that it was time to celebrate so we did, we went to steves pizza, and if you're a shore kid like myself, you know steves pizza is awesome the later it is. and guess who sat next to me :) of course (gosh i'm such a girl) and we talked.
a couple of nights later, i signed on aim and guess who's on ! lol okay fine, i'll stop playing "GUESS WHO".
so we started chatting, & laughing and it was super cool. so he asks if i wnt to hang out on friday, and of course i agreed. so friday night comes around and he picks me up, a little late, but better late than never, and he asks what would i like to do, and we had talked about the beach at night being really nice, so the beach we went. we laughed and laughed and made crazy jokes and when it came down to the time to leave, (mind you, he does live 40 mins away from me & i didn't want him driving so far, so late) it started raining, and i tell you, something i've always wanted to do was walk around with a guy under the rain, and so we did :), we held hands and we walked under the rain, and we took our sweet time, why? cus walking in the rain is super romantic LOL. okay maybe that's not why, we just didn't wnt to slip and fall. :D so as he is dropping me off, i go in for the little kiss on the cheek and then i look at him and .....
so here is my current situation, cus i'm kind of tired of writing lol. he doesn't want a girlfriend. & i believe his case is a mixture of immaturity & insecurity, and it sucks, because when i think i found a good guy, he is not ready for what i am. so what shall i do ?
now there is one person who i'd like to talk about before i close this entry for the night.
& that's my tina :D & i'm sure she'll be the first to read this, so here is to looking good .
she has been an amazing person, and i find it superr odd that i find myself talking to her all day and we never seem to have something we didn't talk about. & i'm sure we've talked about it all, and she's coming to miami next week & i'm super duper uper excited cus i want to hug her :D and i'm also bff's with her brother which is also in the band ;] & i can honestly say i'm content with the people i have in my life right now, and yeah new friends are always nice, but i think my group of friends is complete . :)
as for this entry, i've made it as long as i could to basically introduce myself back into livejournal community.
signing off,
daiana
xoxo . :D
i am now 18 years old, and i decided to take a break from school because mentally i wasn't ready to come back, now hopefully in august this year i can. i must admit i've been through some pretty harsh things these last couple of years but i can honestly say that i'm ready to get back on my own two feet and finish this race, even if i must finish it alone. i always underestimate my ability to write and i don't know why. writing is something i love to do, lol especially about myself, but yet i still find it hard to be able to express my feeling on this thing. and even though many people may not read it, those who will, will know a little thing or two about me.
so these last couple of years i've experienced many different things, which i believe have made me a better person today. :) and i am glad to be able to witness all these things with the strength of God, who has been nothing but awesome to me.
ok, so in the love department things haven't been as good as i hoped things would turn out. i've dated around and even had a serious relationship which failed because he really didn't know what he wanted, and when he did realize what he want, i didn't want the same. then i met another guy at a trip, and i had a blast with him and he is still a big part of my life, BUT, and there is always that damn but, he, of course had a girlfriend. they always do, and if they don't, they don't want one. but anyways, so now i'm stuck in a situation that has nothing to deal with other girls, but the issue is him, he doesn't want a serious relationship, and to be honest, i think i am ready for something deeper that sexual. this guy takes me on a rollercoaster ride, and if you know me, i have motion sickness, and right now, i am throwing up. he takes me for loops and turns that make me sicker than sick, which brings me to a story i will add on later to this. (i have a feeling this entry will be longer than long lol) but this guy, he is what i want, he's funny, he's a musician, he's into sports, we share alot of dreams, such as moving to new york ;] & i see something in his eyes, someone's yet to see. and it's weird cus when we're alone, he's a totally different person...but before i go on with this love story i must explain a couple of things.
so my best friends juliet & mouriel at the beginning of 2007 stopped talking to me. and if you ask me, i think it was a growing experience for me, i've learned to not depend on others, emotionally more than physically. during these 6 months we didn't talk, i felt like i found myself, and i wasn't going to church but then i met this brandon guy in daytona (the one with the girlfriend) and he completely changed me, actually, no he didn't change me, he just helped me find who i really truly was. so during these 6 months i was able to find who i was, and i am super happy that i did, because i found who i was, i was able to get back to church and turn my life around. everyone makes mistakes, and yes i've made mistakes, but now it's time to set my foot down, and begin my new life. so in june, juliet & mouriel decided that it was time we patch ourfriendship up, we talked and figured things out. so as the months went on a little, i began hanging out with this awesome group of guys..the orbit bear guys, now i'll tell you something about them, they are awesome people, and under all these burns and crazy stuff they say, i can honestly say, these guys are my sunshine when skys are grey. so now i can finally go back to my current situation with this guy BECAUSE this guy is in this band :)
so i realized i had a crush on him one night at the velazquez house, when he faked an orgasm, lol as crazy as it sounds, its true. i didn't really make anything of it, until i saw him again at the homestead chruch. seeing him put a smile on my face, an honest smile, a smile i had to scrub off my face. i laughed at everything he said, everything he did, and maybe stuff he didn't do. so since that night i decided, this was a shot worth taking, so i began talking to him, we started talking on aim, and i found myself hanging out more with these guys, they were fun & they wanted me around. so came "hollywood ; battle of the bands" now this night was awesome. after the guys won 2nd place or whatever, we felt that it was time to celebrate so we did, we went to steves pizza, and if you're a shore kid like myself, you know steves pizza is awesome the later it is. and guess who sat next to me :) of course (gosh i'm such a girl) and we talked.
a couple of nights later, i signed on aim and guess who's on ! lol okay fine, i'll stop playing "GUESS WHO".
so we started chatting, & laughing and it was super cool. so he asks if i wnt to hang out on friday, and of course i agreed. so friday night comes around and he picks me up, a little late, but better late than never, and he asks what would i like to do, and we had talked about the beach at night being really nice, so the beach we went. we laughed and laughed and made crazy jokes and when it came down to the time to leave, (mind you, he does live 40 mins away from me & i didn't want him driving so far, so late) it started raining, and i tell you, something i've always wanted to do was walk around with a guy under the rain, and so we did :), we held hands and we walked under the rain, and we took our sweet time, why? cus walking in the rain is super romantic LOL. okay maybe that's not why, we just didn't wnt to slip and fall. :D so as he is dropping me off, i go in for the little kiss on the cheek and then i look at him and .....
so here is my current situation, cus i'm kind of tired of writing lol. he doesn't want a girlfriend. & i believe his case is a mixture of immaturity & insecurity, and it sucks, because when i think i found a good guy, he is not ready for what i am. so what shall i do ?
now there is one person who i'd like to talk about before i close this entry for the night.
& that's my tina :D & i'm sure she'll be the first to read this, so here is to looking good .
she has been an amazing person, and i find it superr odd that i find myself talking to her all day and we never seem to have something we didn't talk about. & i'm sure we've talked about it all, and she's coming to miami next week & i'm super duper uper excited cus i want to hug her :D and i'm also bff's with her brother which is also in the band ;] & i can honestly say i'm content with the people i have in my life right now, and yeah new friends are always nice, but i think my group of friends is complete . :)
as for this entry, i've made it as long as i could to basically introduce myself back into livejournal community.
signing off,
daiana
xoxo . :D