(no subject)
I want a ___friend.
Five months ago, I had something good. Then I panicked about life, and all it had to offer me, and I took my good thing and put it away. It was the right decision, but still.
Then, for three days, I had something great. But three days only lasts so long, and miles stretch endlessly, so that was that.
And now I'm in a new place, and no longer worried about who will be my friend, and how much I'll miss my family, and how many days it will be until I'm gone. Now I wake up and I see my room, and I know the walk to my bathroom with my eyes closed, and I feel good here.
Which means that I have time to think about how I want something more than what I've been given. I don't even want them to love me. Just like me. Like me enough to find me quirky and sexy (even in jeans and long-sleeve shirts) and like me and my oddities, and find me funny, and be interested in what I have to say. And just someone to think about and touch knees with under the table when we're all laughing and eating and enjoying being here. Or maybe even a secret admirer! That'd work.
Why am I so ungrateful for all of the wonders around me? Why can't I just be satisfied that I'm young and I'm living in a beautiful place surrounded by interesting and exciting people, and that I am constantly supported by a loving base of family and friends who span this country (and even beyond)?
*sigh*
Five months ago, I had something good. Then I panicked about life, and all it had to offer me, and I took my good thing and put it away. It was the right decision, but still.
Then, for three days, I had something great. But three days only lasts so long, and miles stretch endlessly, so that was that.
And now I'm in a new place, and no longer worried about who will be my friend, and how much I'll miss my family, and how many days it will be until I'm gone. Now I wake up and I see my room, and I know the walk to my bathroom with my eyes closed, and I feel good here.
Which means that I have time to think about how I want something more than what I've been given. I don't even want them to love me. Just like me. Like me enough to find me quirky and sexy (even in jeans and long-sleeve shirts) and like me and my oddities, and find me funny, and be interested in what I have to say. And just someone to think about and touch knees with under the table when we're all laughing and eating and enjoying being here. Or maybe even a secret admirer! That'd work.
Why am I so ungrateful for all of the wonders around me? Why can't I just be satisfied that I'm young and I'm living in a beautiful place surrounded by interesting and exciting people, and that I am constantly supported by a loving base of family and friends who span this country (and even beyond)?
*sigh*