*yawn*
Well, the nose ring is healing as we speak - it would help if my sniffles would go away, though. The constant pressure from nose-blowing isn't really helping. All in all, though, the swelling was minimal, and it's only sore if I have a really sniffling patch of time. I can't believe it's been less than a week - I have to wait six weeks before I can switch to a smaller ring.
This week, I taught, and I about collapsed from exhaustion at the end of it. My kids were all over the place, attention-wise. In the end, it was a success because they were able to come out to this completely foreign environment and not run for the hills or demand to go home. I just wish I had realized that was the goal at the beginning of the week instead of now - it would've taken a lot of the stress off of my shoulders.
Working myself to the bone for four days straight takes a pretty wretched toll on me, it seems. Small, insignificant things become large looming monstrosities in my emotional mind, and in a vicious cycle I end up with less energy than I had before. Each time that dwindling energy supply is taxed, my crazy-factor increases. Thanks goodness for these off weeks. I can't imagine that I would've made it this long without them.
This calendar year has brought about a great deal of reflection about my life. It began as a quest about a God-centered life - questions concerning my actions and words followed. I am now deep in that quest, and my questions lead me to wonder about my sarcasm, my sharp and quick tongue, and the meaning behind my need for teasing and the like. This back-and-forth comes from my family culture, and it has been pointed out to us before (Grandma Swarts always says it's a tough room). There were friends in high school, and a few left over from those days, with whom I traded verbal barbs daily, as signs of affection and friendship. But now that I'm surrounded by a new group, and I am constantly in a place of self-reflection, I wonder how this sass comes off, and where my real motivations for it lie.
Is my sarcasm really that important to me, or am I just shielding myself from something? What would be wrong with living a sincere life, and having actions and words that match my dedication to a loving existence?
On the other hand, is it really so bad? It's a part of my personality, and a lot of people are like this. Most people know I'm just kidding around, and if they don't, I make sure to let them know (and apologize, if necessary).
But still.
I just don't know.
This week, I taught, and I about collapsed from exhaustion at the end of it. My kids were all over the place, attention-wise. In the end, it was a success because they were able to come out to this completely foreign environment and not run for the hills or demand to go home. I just wish I had realized that was the goal at the beginning of the week instead of now - it would've taken a lot of the stress off of my shoulders.
Working myself to the bone for four days straight takes a pretty wretched toll on me, it seems. Small, insignificant things become large looming monstrosities in my emotional mind, and in a vicious cycle I end up with less energy than I had before. Each time that dwindling energy supply is taxed, my crazy-factor increases. Thanks goodness for these off weeks. I can't imagine that I would've made it this long without them.
This calendar year has brought about a great deal of reflection about my life. It began as a quest about a God-centered life - questions concerning my actions and words followed. I am now deep in that quest, and my questions lead me to wonder about my sarcasm, my sharp and quick tongue, and the meaning behind my need for teasing and the like. This back-and-forth comes from my family culture, and it has been pointed out to us before (Grandma Swarts always says it's a tough room). There were friends in high school, and a few left over from those days, with whom I traded verbal barbs daily, as signs of affection and friendship. But now that I'm surrounded by a new group, and I am constantly in a place of self-reflection, I wonder how this sass comes off, and where my real motivations for it lie.
Is my sarcasm really that important to me, or am I just shielding myself from something? What would be wrong with living a sincere life, and having actions and words that match my dedication to a loving existence?
On the other hand, is it really so bad? It's a part of my personality, and a lot of people are like this. Most people know I'm just kidding around, and if they don't, I make sure to let them know (and apologize, if necessary).
But still.
I just don't know.