A Different Cinderella Story (2/2)
Part 1
Finally, they reached the entrance to the royal gardens and it was only then that they slowed down. Arthur could hear the lady’s heavy breathing and now it came to his mind that maybe he had been walking a little bit too fast.
“Are you alright, my Lady?”
“Yes.” A heavy breath “I’m just “ another one “a little” yet another “out of breath.”
“I am terribly sorry. I was too focused on getting out of these walls, I think. It won’t happen again.”
Her breathing evened out and she kindly smiled at him. Arthur offered her his arm and she placed her hand on it. They started their walk towards the expanses of colourful flowers which seemed so perfect in the moonlight. There were red patches and yellow ones, but also blue and violet.
Arthur felt the need to hear her voice again, he had to make sure that this maiden was real. “So... Are you enjoying the banquet?”
“Oh yes. Very much, my Lord - eh, Arthur. But I didn’t know that we would be dancing. Isn’t a banquet usually something that focuses more on eating?”
Arthur had to chuckle quietly. “When you put it like that, actually yes. I suppose my father considered dancing to be more suitable to find a bride than eating. And I think he does have a point. I can’t spend five minutes with one maiden eating and then move on to the next one, staying again five minutes and so on. What would you suggest?”
“Excuse me?”
“What would you do in order to find a suitable bride?” Oh, that sounded wrong. “I mean, would you do if you had to find a man a suitable bride, not yourself of course.”
Another smile danced around the lady’s lips as she answered. “Frankly, I’m not sure what I would do. In your case I think it’s of course important to find someone you can show in public and who is capable of living in this whole royalty ... situation. But it should also be someone you like. And if you don’t love her then you should at least be able to be around each other and feel comfortable. However, I have no idea how to find all of this in one person if you have only a few hours to do so.” She stopped for a moment and looked up to him. “I’m sorry. I think I got a little carried away.”
“No no. I asked you about your opinion and you answered. That’s fine, really.” He had to think about what Morgana had told him earlier. “I don’t think that I will end up marrying someone I don’t like at all. You see, my father loved my mother and I can’t imagine he would force me to choose someone I completely disapprove of. And if he did, my stepsister - the Lady Morgana - would be at my side. She promised me earlier that she would do anything to make my bride feel uncomfortable here in Camelot if it happened to be someone I don’t like.”
“That sounds nice - and scary.”
“Yes, that’s Morgana. And if she wouldn’t help me for whatever reasons, there would still be my manservant: Merlin.”
“Your manservant?”
“Mhm ... He would do anything for me, even if he would never admit it, but I’m sure he would. He sacrificed himself countless times for me and I’m grateful for every single one. If I have a true friend in this world, it’s him. But of course I would never confess that towards him.”
They continued their walk in silence and when they reached a big tree, Arthur asked, “How about sitting down for a while?”
When she nodded in agreement, he took off his red jacket and laid it on the ground for her to sit on. Then they sat down, Arthur leaning against the bark of the tree but the maiden didn’t seem to feel comfortable.
“Is everything alright?”
“Ehm yes, it’s just that I haven’t learnt the protocol for being around a Crowned Prince and I don’t know if I’m allowed to lean back and ... place my head on your shoulder?”
“Actually, I have no idea what the protocol says to a situation like this. However, I - personally - wouldn’t mind you placing your head on my shoulder.”
Arthur watched her shuffle in his direction until her back touched the tree and he lifted his right arm, encouraging her to nestle up against his side. He let his hand rest on her waist then, unable to stop himself from tracing soft circles on the smooth material of her dress. Arthur lowered his head, closed his eyes and breathed in the scent of her dark locks. Somehow, it seemed familiar but the prince couldn’t figure out where he had smelled the intoxicating mixture of hay and a certain sweet flower before. For a short moment he wondered how a scent could make him feel so light and happy, but then he opened his eyes again, staring into black hair, and assumed that it was not only the scent but everything about this girl lying next to him that made his head spin. She was perfect - apart from the dancing, but that wasn’t something that couldn’t be taught.
“I think I found my future bride.”
She lifted her head a little bit to look up at him. “That’s good. Who is it? The lady in red you were dancing with before asking me? She seemed very pretty.”
“No, not her. She may be pretty but she is horrible, believe me. No, I would like to marry you. There’s something about you...” Their eyes had locked and the girl was gaping incredulously at him.
“Me?” Her voice trembled lightly.
“Yes, you.” Arthur brought his left hand up to cup her face. “If you want to.”
“I would like to marry you.”
Arthur felt a heavy weight being lifted off his heart and let out a breath he didn’t know he’d been holding. He slowly moved forward and gently pressed his lips against hers. They parted but only to seal their lips together again, this time to deepen the kiss seconds later by stroking their tongues against one another. Arthur had his head tilted to the side and couldn’t help a small moan rising from his chest as they explored each other’s mouths.
After some time the kisses became more frantic, hungry. Arthur began to place little kisses to her jaw wandering over her neck and finally nuzzled her collarbone, this delicate collarbone. He tried to be careful, not wanting to do any damage to her perfect porcelain skin. When he looked up he saw that her head had fallen back, eyes shut and red, kiss-swollen lips slightly parted, dark hair framing her face and suddenly it hit him.
Merlin. She reminded him of Merlin. The dark hair, the pale skin, the red lips, the blue eyes. Arthur had dreamt about himself and Merlin being in such a position, Merlin under Arthur’s hands and Arthur placing soft kisses to his pale skin. He was thinking of Merlin, like he did almost every night in bed. Arthur knew he could never be with Merlin, not in front of the court and the kingdom. But this maiden looked so much like him, it seemed perfect. Some moments passed and Arthur could do nothing but stare at the beauty lying in front of him. She opened her eyes and turned her asking gaze to him. He created a little more space between their bodies.
“You said you would marry me.”
“Yes, but - ”
“If you marry me, you have to know something: my heart wouldn’t belong to you entirely. There’s someone else, someone I love.”
The happiness in her face disappeared. “I see. Well, I don’t suppose there’s anything I can do, but I’d like to know who she is.”
“M - my manservant.”
The shock was evident in her eyes. “Your manservant?”
“Yes, Merlin. We haven’t done anything so far, not even kissed. I’m too afraid to tell him about my feelings because I fear that he doesn’t care about me in the same way and I don’t want to destroy what we have at the moment and make it awkward. I don’t want to lose the easiness between us. But I really do love him and I don’t think it would be fair for anybody if I married you without you knowing about him.”
She didn’t say anything, just kept staring at Arthur. He felt how he became nervous. What if she got angry and told someone?
“Listen, my Lady, I don’t want you to get any false impressions. I do think you’re very beautiful and I want to marry you and a few moments ago I wanted to ... pleasure you. And I do love you. But I’m afraid there’s no person in this world that I love more than my Merlin - not even you. Although you remind me of him.”
“I understand, my Lord.” Arthur could see tears forming in her eyes.
“For you, it’s still Arthur.”
A small smile brightened her features. “Maybe I should go. I had a great evening and I’m glad I’ve met you, Arthur.”
“Of course. Will we remain friends? Please.”
She had already gotten up and was turning back to him. Arthur quickly stood up too and grabbed his jacket.
“I’d like to be your friend.”
They began their walk back to the castle, but suddenly Arthur saw a flower that made him stop. The maiden noticed it and walked back to stand next to him. Arthur bent down and picked one of the flowers. He handed it to her, explaining, “Usually, I’m horrible with plants and the only one I used to know were roses. But then there was this incident with my manservant - I had to find a flower for him: the morteaus flower. And after that I went into the royal library and read some books on flowers. I have to admit that it was rather interesting ... Anyway, the point is that I found a book on the meaning of flowers. Do you know what kind of flower this is?”
“Yes, this is a carnation.”
“Exactly, and this one is striped. A striped carnation is a sign of refusal, it means ‘Sorry I can’t be with you.’ ”
A small smile formed on her lips. “Thank you, Arthur.”
* ~ * ~ *
“Are you really serious about this, Arthur?”
“Yes, father. You wanted me to find a bride and I found a maiden I want to marry.”
“But this maiden hasn’t been seen for three days.”
“Either I marry her or no one.”
“Alright. What do you want me to do to find her then?”
“Invite every eligible maiden to Camelot again and they will be tested.”
“Tested?”
“Yes, father. At the night of the feast I gave my future bride a flower. I will marry the girl who is able to tell me which flower I gave her and what I told her when I did so.”
“As you wish. I hope you’ll find her.”
“Thank you, Father.”
Arthur left the council hall and was well aware of the fact that everyone was gaping at him in utter disbelief. But Arthur could only concentrate on his aim: he needed to find the maiden again.
* ~ * ~ *
Uther had provided Arthur with a single room for questioning the maidens. Arthur was sitting at a table in said room with only one window for an entire day. Merlin was at his side the whole time and after the first hour Arthur insisted on a chair for Merlin because it really was ridiculous to expect him to be standing for all these hours. After the second hour, Arthur also ordered some food.
To be honest, the whole situation was hopeless. Arthur couldn’t say if all of the maidens from the feast were there because he hadn’t even tried to remember their faces. Of course the Lady Elaine was there and insisted that he had given her a red rose, the symbol of love. The majority of the maidens said the same and those who didn’t were sure the Prince of Camelot had given them a Chrysanthemum, also expressing love.
When the Lady Elaine had left, Arthur told Merlin that he wanted to dine in his room in an hour.
* ~ * ~ *
Merlin didn’t come.
It wasn’t something new that Merlin arrived later or with the wrong food, but that he didn’t arrive at all troubled Arthur. He began pacing in his chambers and thinking the day through. Merlin had brought him his breakfast and shortly after that the search for the mysterious maiden had begun. They had been in the little room on the second floor the entire day and then Arthur had asked Merlin to bring him his dinner - a simple order.
Suddenly, Arthur remembered the distant look in Merlin’s face. It had been there for some days now. Merlin had somehow looked like he had been thinking about something important, something that would change everything. He had talked very little during the past days and his eyes had seemed a little red, but Arthur had thought that he had just been imagining things because he was so unfocused on everything that didn’t involve his future bride.
Arthur walked towards his door and directed his feet to Gaius’ quarters. He would find Merlin.
* ~ * ~ *
And find him he did.
Arthur didn’t see Gaius, so he directly approached the door leading to Merlin’s room. He opened it without knocking and the sight presented to him made something in his heart ache.
Merlin was lying on his bed crying and holding a blue fabric to his chest.
“Merlin?”
Merlin’s shudders stopped but now he had some kind of hiccup. Tears were still running down his cheeks when he tried to sit up. Arthur sat down on the edge of Merlin’s tiny bed and searched for the right words.
“You didn’t come to serve me my dinner and - “
“I’m sorry.” A terrible sob escaped Merlin’s throat. “Seems I forgot about it.”
“Never mind. Do ... ehm ... Do you want to talk about it?”
“No.”
“Hmm.” Arthur took a closer look at the fabric between Merlin’s fingers. “Wait a minute. I’ve seen this fabric before.”
Arthur didn’t allow Merlin the time to react and quickly stood up, taking the blue cloth with him. It was a dress. In fact it was the dress the nameless maiden had worn at the feast.
“Merlin, where did you find this? Whose dress is this? I need to know, please tell me. ”
Merlin’s tear filled eyes stared up at him. His answer was only a whisper. “I can’t tell you.”
“You don’t understand. I need to know her name. Is she a friend of yours? Or a relative?”
Merlin shook his head.
“Merlin, I want to marry this maiden. But in order to do that, I need to know her name.”
“I can’t tell you Arthur. She wouldn’t like that.”
“She ... No, she agreed on marrying me, I asked her. And she said yes.”
“She didn’t know what she was saying. Coming to the banquet and dance with you was something she shouldn’t have done in the first place.”
Arthur felt confused. The maiden from the feast hadn’t seemed insecure or unhappy. She had talked to him openly and she had agreed on becoming his wife. “Are you very close to her?”
“Closer than people might think.”
Suddenly Arthur knew what was the matter, understood why Merlin was crying and holding the dress in his hands. “Stop pretending Merlin. I know what’s wrong.”
Shock was visible in Merlin’s face. “You know? How?”
“The last minutes have made it very clear. Look, I understand your feelings, but the individual is not what’s important right now. We must think of Camelot, the kingdom. I have to find my bride and continue the Pendragon dynasty. I’m sorry that this will break your heart and I honestly wish there was another way, but I am going to marry her even if you’re in love with her, even if she returns your love. I need her more than you do at the moment.”
“What are you talking about?”
“Your obvious relationship with this lady.”
“You think that me and ... her ... that we are ...”
“Lovers? Yes. Isn’t that the reason why you don’t want me to find her?”
“No, it’s not.”
“Well, what is it then? You know her. I mean this is her dress.”
“No, it belongs to me.”
“To you? But the maiden at the feast was female. I mean she kind of looked like you with the pale skin, the dark hair, the eyes... but she had - you know ... breasts. I’m pretty sure of that. And as far as I know you don’t have ... them.”
Merlin lowered his gaze and took a deep breath before answering. “I found a potion in one of Gaius’ books, a potion that would alter one’s gender. I wasn’t thinking, Arthur, I wasn’t thinking. I spent weeks collecting all the ingredients and mixing everything until the potion was ready. I bought a dress and decided to go to the feast. I just wanted to have the opportunity to ... to ...” New tears were falling from his face. “I just wanted to be near you and for once not be careful. No hidden glances. But then you asked me to dance with you and to go to the royal gardens and it all seemed so perfect. I thought ‘why not?’, and then in the garden, when you ... touched me - “ Merlin’s voice broke. “It felt like everything I’ve ever wanted came true. But you stopped and told me about your manservant and I couldn’t believe my ears. You were talking about me and then it was all too much. You gave me the flower and ...” Merlin’s eyes focused on a striped carnation on his bedside table.
Arthur felt the dress glide through his fingers to the ground. He slowly walked towards Merlin who was still sitting on his bed.
“Arthur, what you told me when I was this lady - “
“I meant it. I meant everything.” Arthur hated the desperation in his voice but he couldn’t hide it. He sat down next to Merlin and took him into his arms, placing kisses into the soft, dark hair which smelled sweet and like hay. “Merlin, I love you. I love you more than anything. I didn’t just say that.”
Merlin pressed his body tighter to Arthur’s and talked to his prince’s chest. “I love you, too. And I’m sorry I don’t look like her anymore. But the potion is only temporary and - “
“Idiot. I love you the way you are. Not in some dress and with breasts. Although I have to say your manners were better...” This earned him a light shove. “But I love my Merlin - my tall, skinny, dark-haired, clumsy and idiotic manservant with his stupid neckerchiefs and his goofy smiles.”
Arthur pushed the man in his arms a little bit away in order to gently kiss his forehead. Then his nose. And then his lips. The kiss was different than the one in the garden. This one felt more like Merlin. It was better.
Arthur stayed for the night in which they spent a fair amount of time with kissing. The remaining hours, they snuggled against one another, holding onto the other, not wanting to let go. They would definitely move further sleeping to Arthur’s bed. In the Prince’s opinion Merlin’s was horribly small.
Of course Arthur would never admit to spending the night curled up against his manservant, as he would never admit to anyone that he had found his love from the feast. These were the most treasured secrets Arthur kept and Merlin was the only one to know and share them because Merlin was Arthur’s lover.
Fin.
Note: Somehow I’m not happy with this... oh well, whatever.
and remember: comments are cookies ^^
I got the flower references from these sites:
http://www.anniesannuals.com/signs/d%20-%20g/images/dianthus_stripes_and_picotees_annie.jpg
http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Language_of_flowers