Worry, worry, worry
I'm worried about college. Specifically paying for it. Even more specifically, how my mother and my father will go about paying for it. Very, very worried.
I feel really bad about this entire situation, because I don't have a job, I didn't get HOPE (a super nifty scholarship that I thought I had in the bag), and I'm not doing very much in the way of helping them. My mother says that it's okay, and I should just focus on good grades. Which I know I'll get, because this first semester has no math, so I'm good. But still, I wish I could have done more. I feel like my mother is helping me so much, and I'm just being ungrateful.
My father, I always have trouble asking him for money. Y'see, my dad divorced from my mom when I was bitty(around nine months old), and so most of my life, he's been this distant, unreliable figure who's main purpose was to help pay for my preferred living style. But now that I'm older, and have a conscious, I feel bad asking him for money. Even when I really, really need it, like now.
And even though there are things I honestly need to do(re: packing), I just want to stay on my fab laptop and look at distraction after distraction after distraction. I know this is a bad thing to do, but I can't get myself out of this rut, it seems.