Update time.
So I haven't written in a while and blah blah blah. Its basically because I don't like thinking about and acknowledging my life. I mean anyone that really knows me and talks to me knows that my relationship is basically a total joke. I mean everytime I think its going really well and I start to allow myself to open up my heart a little....BAM he shits on it!
Which equalls him getting super drunk and tearing me apart with words and telling me he doesn't think we're meant for eachother and blah blah blah. Then the next morning he wakes up and begs my forgivenss. Says he loves me and wants us to stay together. Then he doesn't understand why I have become the most insecure person in the world. So I find myself basically scrubing and cleaning all day until its time for me to go to school then I get home and go to sleep. The next day I wake up and repeat the process. I've learned if I'm busy I'm not dwelling on stuff. I just wish that for once I could have the happy ending. I told a friend on the phone the other day that I think this is just Karma coming back to kick me in the ass for treating past boyfriends like shit. Who knows. All I know is I'm not a 22 year old immature kid anymore. I'm a 28 year old mom that has her head on her shoulders and is only trying to make her life better for her and her kid. The thought of being single and having to date physically makes me ill to even think about it. Dating = not something I want to do at all. Now the not having to awnser to anyone part sounds fabulous ;)
I only have a few more weeks of school then I get 3 weeks off until my summer classes start. I should graduate in May of 2011! Only a year to go. Okay well today I'm oganizing under my bathroom sink and nightstands and then I'll find something else to organize i'm sure. Everything has pretty much been done over the past 2 weeks with me cleaning like a crazy person everyday.
Which equalls him getting super drunk and tearing me apart with words and telling me he doesn't think we're meant for eachother and blah blah blah. Then the next morning he wakes up and begs my forgivenss. Says he loves me and wants us to stay together. Then he doesn't understand why I have become the most insecure person in the world. So I find myself basically scrubing and cleaning all day until its time for me to go to school then I get home and go to sleep. The next day I wake up and repeat the process. I've learned if I'm busy I'm not dwelling on stuff. I just wish that for once I could have the happy ending. I told a friend on the phone the other day that I think this is just Karma coming back to kick me in the ass for treating past boyfriends like shit. Who knows. All I know is I'm not a 22 year old immature kid anymore. I'm a 28 year old mom that has her head on her shoulders and is only trying to make her life better for her and her kid. The thought of being single and having to date physically makes me ill to even think about it. Dating = not something I want to do at all. Now the not having to awnser to anyone part sounds fabulous ;)
I only have a few more weeks of school then I get 3 weeks off until my summer classes start. I should graduate in May of 2011! Only a year to go. Okay well today I'm oganizing under my bathroom sink and nightstands and then I'll find something else to organize i'm sure. Everything has pretty much been done over the past 2 weeks with me cleaning like a crazy person everyday.